Tuesday, September 21, 2004

My Daughter... My Joy

This is my first born.... My gift

This is the child that I had given everything up for.  She was the baby I was to have on my own. Her biological father has never met her and that was his choice.  We were young and we were careless but I was ready to become a parent and he wasn't.  I felt I had no other option, he felt I did.

She turned 18 this year, graduated High School has her first job and has always been the best choice I ever made. The moment I saw my daughter emerge from my body, all the fear of being a single parent vanished, a peacefulness came over me and I knew we were going to be all right.

She is the most free spirited out of my children, she has always been wise beyond her years but she still stumbles now and then.
She has never really had a problem with figuring out who she is, she has always been herself. She has had pink hair, yellow hair and jet black hair, she has experienced body piercing. I have always felt from being a wild child myself to pick my battles wisely. As long as she dressed with respect of herself and her body, she could pierce or color anything she wanted to. She is the most like me when it comes to personalities and sometimes I can smack myself for having her! lol

This is a child who has known all along that her biological father has never been around.  She asked about him once when she was nine, she wanted to see who she looks like, she's the only dark haired child in a family of blondes and society has been rude enough to point that out to her from time to time.  She resembles her Biological father with his Italian/German ancestry. I explained to her, that when he was younger he wasn't ready to be your father and he might not be ready now, that could hurt you all over again and you have to be ready to accept the fact that he may never be a Dad to you. She spent a long weekend thinking it over and decided to put it off until she is ready for that encounter.  She now has his phone number and address, which I provided her with, it is up to her as a young adult to make that connection.

I started dating my Husband when this child was only 9 weeks old, he has always opened his heart to her, then his home when we were married a few years later, then his last name.  She has always said "WE" were enough for her. She is the "gift" I shared with him.

Some people have referred to unplanned pregnancies as mistakes......she was never my mistake... she has always been my gift!

7 comments:

kimbellina1957 said...

I KNOW EXACTLY HOW YOU FEEL. AS FOR YOUR HUSBAND? WELL, YOU KNOW WHAT THEY SAY?.....ANY MAN CAN FATHER A CHILD, BUT IT TAKES A "SPECIAL" MAN TO BE A DADDY. LOOKS LIKE YOU FOUND THAT SPECIAL MAN. I DID TOO.
KIM.

sistercdr said...

I've enjoyed reading about your children so.  I love your journal, but these entries have been especially touching.

spurgins311 said...

Beautiful story.
Sharon

cneinhorn said...

beautiful entry.....your daughter sounds like a beautiful gift and you are a great mom to her!
~JerseyGirl
http://journals.aol.com/cneinhorn/WonderGirl

ebonygrl3 said...

Your children are wonderful and it sounds like you have a great relationship with them all. Its good that you let them become the person that they want to be, and let them make decisions of their own. God Bless You

aiibrat said...

What a lovely entry! -=) Thank you so much for sharing...it is really beautiful.  

dvlwitgrneyes said...

Yo shock me more everyday! With your reference to your daughter as being the only dark haired child in a family of blondes! My 16 year old was born under simular conditions as yours. Although her father and I stay in a little contact and she has met him and refers to him as her dad, she has NOT ever lived with him in her life besides a once every year or so visit. And she is the only dark hairded/eyed child in a family of blondes! Have you seen my into entry and the pic of the 3 of my children?

Are you my long, lost twin? lol

Cheryl
http://journals.aol.com/dvlwitgrneyes/Fortysomething/