Thursday, April 28, 2005

Rachel Proud Mary

This is the newest song that Rachel is working on.......'Proud Mary' This is just a small clip of what she has done with this song so far......She ain't just whistling Dixie.....she loves the rockier edge of country music....what they call Southern Rock I'll post another full version when she has it down and is happy with her results.

Journal Jar

New Journal Entry
A new entry has been posted to the Journal:
The Journal Jar
question 42 ~ getting together w/family
Author: promiseluv372
Family reunions


Oh you went there!!!!!  LOL..... Now you all know how much I love my Husband...... but it's his family reunion on is Mothers side that I am going to journal about. My Husband and his Father were born and raised in the Chicago land area. His Mother and her family are from a state (which will stay nameless) from the South. Now I love the South don't get me wrong, but we all have passed through many towns North and South that just leave us scratching our heads....... This is one of those areas.

My first family reunion on his side of the family, was just days after we married, up until this time I had only met his Mother.... none of her many relatives. Lets talk about Uncle Earl shall we?? I was only in the hall they rent for the reunions a few minutes when this very small man, probably about 100 years old man with oh, lets call them formations on his face, latches with both hands on to my breasts!!!!!! Now I am temporarily stunned and thinking how can I get this man to remove his hands from 'the girls' without knocking him on his rear end? Now after a moment of him standing there, grining a toothless grin at me then says, "You must be new in town, I've dated all the pretty girls and I've not seen you yet!" As he tries to plant one on me.

Now enter my Darling Husband who comes rushing up to still a stunned and silent me and removes Uncle Earls hands from the 'girls' and whispers to me, "Ughhh, I forgot to tell you about Uncle Earl!" I'm thinking Oh Yes you did! And I'm thinking I want to go home right now and he says something about senilty..... so I let it go... but now I am on guard! lol

After that experience and with me meeting about 200 other relatives a million times removed (I'm sure!) everyone was a blur or so I thought! Now fast forward to around the time of twilight......Jim wants to take me for a drive and show me all the secret places he spent his summers as a small boy. I am sitting quietly while we drive through some really beautiful places when I spot way off in a distant field a man standing in a most unusualstance in the middle of this field, just gazing off somewhere into the vast sky.......I think I recognize him as someone I met earlier that day at the reunion.....I say," Hey..isn't that one of your relatives and he said, "I think that is my cousins husband.. Dave." We both sit quietly for a second and I lean over and whisper, "Is he waiting for his Mother Ship or what?"  I then bust out into a fit of the giggles....he just glares at me and then laughs right along with me.

I have so many more of these reunion stories .....but I'll save those for another time! lol lol lol

Morning has broken


All is right in the world when the day starts out as beautiful as this..........

Attitude Adjustment

OK, I just realized something.....I'm not liking my voice on this AOL by phone thingy.....great another thing to be unhappy about! LOL.......first my nose, then how extremely uncomfortable I am about having my picture taken (all my life) and now my voice??? LOL .....So I deleted the entry.

I wish life came with a delete button sometimes......think of all the possibilities! Hmmmm!!!! Ü..... Well, the now deleted audio entry was about the results of my recent cat scan......It showed enlarged lymph noids in the left side of my neck....I'm thinking hmmmmm what am I supposed to do with that information, because that is all I got...that and a referral to a specialist. See Kim run to google....see Kim search enlarged lymph noids on google.....see Kim breath a sigh of relief that there are 56 reasons (besides cancer) that can make a lymph noid enlarge.

I feel I have been walking on eggshells for the last 2 days with all this new information and I've been a bit cranky! I've been short tempered and I have snapped at my Kids and my Husband (Poor Husband! And he thought PMS was bad and he already has a fear of the "M" word (menopause) So I have been trying to make amends with him and the kids so I thought hmmmmmm....... maybe I have upset someone out here in J-LAND and I should also apologize here too.......So If by chance, I have offended anyone please forgive was not intentional....I only wish to offend those that I want to offend which is usually directly and with good reason! LOL

The weird thing about this whole journaling concept is I am basically a very private person, I have shared things here that I would never share with people in my everyday world.......I only give up information easily if I think it could help someone else so I am thinking that's why this journaling is so easy for me, I hope I am reaching out to the people that need reaching out to and they can somehow relate to a topic I have shared or a moment I have shared and get a lil something out of it. I know there have been other people who have helped me in ways I might never know with them sharing pieces of themselves with me.

I have found that journaling, the act of writing things down has taken the burden of carrying things around with me away.....much like prayer...sending it out there to mull around and find answers to.....and that has granted me a certain amount of peace about many things I have carried around.

Life is good and I am thankful!

Wednesday, April 27, 2005

Rachel Singing Tammy Wynette

This is Rachel's rendition of Tammy Wynette's classic.....Stand by your man

Hope you all enjoy it!

Becoming a

On the road to becoming a better me I am constantly battling my old thought patterns. I used to find myself frustrated with people that expected 100% from me and gave less back. I have to keep reminding myself that people can only expend of themselves what they can give away without loosing to ones self. How I had to change that thought process around, was to not give 100% of myself all the time, give what I could..... but keep a healthy reserve left for myself and my family. It somehow balances things out in the end and all parties seem satisfied.

I also have to keep diligent about pop decisions on first impressions. I am not always on top of my game day in and day out and I have to realize that the first impression isn't always right.....most of the time but not always. Once I get comfortable with a new acquaintance and they with me I like to bring up the topic of first impressions....I am told I talk a lot and that I grow on people rapidly......I have to work on not talking a lot, but the funny thing is when I do have a quiet moment (which is rare) I have a large amount of people asking my, 'What's wrong?' Go Figure!!!!! lol

I need my most work on becoming more patient....patient with everything and everybody. This monster takes over in me sometimes and in trying to rush things through, I end up putting more on my plate and delegating less just to finish with something quickly. I take my time most of the time walking through life with my eyes wide open, but when it comes to taking on a task........I turn into this speed demon.....something always pushes me to get it done now and done fast...maybe because I also know that if I take a break from something I might run out of energy and put the task off again, until I am back in that mind set.

Who knew becoming a better me was so much work! lol lol lol


I am an island......


Here A Chick...There A Chick

Everywhere...........a  chick chick


Monday, April 25, 2005

Rachel Singing Loretta Lynn

This is Rachel's rendition of Loretta Lynn's "You Ain't Woman Enough To Take My Man" Most of you know Loretta's "Coal Miner's Daughter" As does most country music, it is always a story about a real time in someone's real life....That is what I love most about music its story telling set to music......I hope you enjoy my Daughter's singing as much as I do  Ü

This song is performed without music......she learns all her music this way and when she is happy with the way she re-spins the song she learns it with back ground music.....

Waiting to exhale....still

One of the first families that we met when we moved into this house 13 years ago was another couple that grew up near our old neighborhood during the same era of our youths and we bonded so fast. They had 3 daughters sandwiched in between the ages of our older two daughters and it was nice to meet someone who felt like an old friend immediately.

 Lynn and I had very similar wild youths and compared childhood stories all the time. Our only difference was that even though we did similar things in our youth I didn't view them as right.....I knew now as an adult that they were foolish and very dangerous......she seemed to think they were a right of passage.

A couple of years ago while sharing a BBQ together we got on the subject of teen age sex....with 6 daughters between us it was always a topic. I had asked her if she planned on taking her girls for birth control when they became sexually active, she didn't feel it was time yet.....Her oldest daughter had been serious with the same boy since freshman year and they were now juniors, so I asked her if she thought that her daughter was sexually active yet and to my shock she said no....I left it at that until a few days later she had called to tell me after our conversation she had done some snooping in her daughters room and found sexually explicit pictures (obviously taken by her boyfriend) hidden under her bed. Being from the same era and neighborhood I couldn't understand why she didn't think her daughter was sexually active after dating her boyfriend for almost 2 me it is natural to assume after that much time together and alone time at that, that they would be having sex. I have never sugar coated any of my past to my children and I have never made light of it......In hopes that because what I had experienced good and bad would serve as a guide to them. Lynn didn't agree with being that truthful about my past with my children, she also seemed as though  she thought it was a right of passage for every child becoming an adult, kinda of like "well, we survived it didn't we?"....I always respect peoples differences or at least try to, but I didn't agree with her take on this......I look at it as more of only by the grace of God we are still here.

Two summers ago Lynn and her family moved away and atfirst we kept in touch even though the kids grew apart....I found out over this past weekend, that her oldest daughter was convicted of dealing ecstasy and heroin and sentenced to 3 to 5 years for it. Grant it we only know what our children want us to know about them as they get older, but I feel that if it wasn't so expected to be a right of passage in her life maybe she would have chose another path. I am not saying that my older children have not experimented with drugs and alcohol it's just that it did not become their way of life......and for that I am for ever grateful.......but lessons need to be taught, experiences need to be shared and they must have an environment that they can come and discuss things openly.....I wish my parents had made it easy for me to talk to them, to ask them all comes down to always trying to be a better parent the ours were.

I feel as if I am doing something right......My middle child was planning on going out with some friends of hers (last summer)....they came to pick her up and about half an hour later she was back already.......I asked her why she was back so soon, she told me because the others were planning on going into Chicago to get some drugs and it's just not her thing........I silently said thank you to the Lord above then good it was that she felt she could be safe in telling me the reason why.....It's good to know she will let me in to her new adult world........ I made it safe for her to let trusting her with all the stories of my youth it made it easy for her to trust me with hers. There has been a few, "Well you did it" thrown in my face but at least my kids are fast becoming productive young adults.

What the baby books don't tell you when your expecting is you are forever waiting to exhale after that final "PUSH"


I SPY.....Natures Camo


Mother Nature at her finest again.......protecting with color all things that need protecting....


I SPY...................Just how many things can you spy??

Saturday, April 23, 2005

Weekend Assignemnt #56 Earthy Thoughts

Weekend Assignment #56: Earthy Thoughts


Into The Future.......50 years from now....what do I hope for?

The earth will continue to spin, there will still be wars because everybody always wants to rule the world......super powers and super egos, but how do I want my own personal world to be? Well.......I hope to have had that 50th Wedding dance with my Husband, I hope to have been in my children's lives and the children of my children's children. I hope to have led a good life and died peacefully in my sleep or doing something that I loved doing. I hope to have left this planet in better shape than it was when I first came in it. I hope Cancer and AIDS are diseases of the past, I hope the grass still greens and the flowers still bloom in the spring........I hope the sky still casts rainbows in the summer rain, And I hope that for one minute.... someone from my lineage stops and thinks about where they came from and feels a sense of pride as I do today, from the generations that have passed before me. And my biggest hope of all is that more people will come to realize that on your dyeing day, the only thoughts that will cross your mind will be.... Did I live a good life? Did I live it the best I could? Do the people that mean the most to me, know it? And die satisfied with their answers.



Friday, April 22, 2005

Rachel singing let er rip

Wow! Editor's Pick! I feel like Steve Martin in the movie "The Jerk" when he finds his name in the Phone Book, "I AM SOMEBODY!" lol

Again this audio entry  is my 13 year old daughter Rachel, she is a huge fan of the Dixie Chicks and this is one of there many hits called "Let Er Rip" Thanks AOL for choosing my journal as one of the Editor's picks!

Happy Earth Day


sHouse Rules

Growing up we had house rules, every house had house rules. Some I chose to implement in my home as an adult and parent and some I chose to abolish all together. Some good habits we were taught to us as children and some bad habits we were shown to us by adults, by their own behavior. There were plenty of un healthy cycles running through both sets of my parents, passed down I am sure by their own childhood's. Some weren't even known to be bad habits or behaviors until society came out of the closet on a few issues.

Life.....we learn as we go huh?

Rules I kept

Saying, "I love you" to those you love...'s a win/win rule!

Don't drink that last soda/pop or deal with the wrath of Momma! LOL I don't drink a lot of soda but when I do want one there better be one left for me! lol

No playing with hair what so ever in the kitchen, this means no hair brushes, no refluffing of hair or tightening of pony tails.....nothing! Hair in food is just icky! LOL

Do NOT chew with your mouth open......I don't want to see what your chewing and for Gods sake I don't want to hear it either.........and never talk with your mouth full........Nuff said! lol

No Phone calls during dinner, what ever it is can wait until dinner is's hard enough timing the food and the family to sit down at the same time and I'll be damned if a phone call is going to hold things and then return the phone call.

Now for the rules I didn't implement and the reasons why..............

No talking during dinner unless you were an adult.........Some times it's the only time of the day were we can all sit down and talk about our day and lives.....talking during dinner is encouraged at my home as long as it's not with your mouth full! lol

Eat everything on your plate.......That is just ridiculous, I do believe this is how many childhood eating disorders began. My only rule is to try and not waste food, take what you know you will eat and if your still hungry by all means go back for more! Try every new food once, if you don't like it you don't ever have to eat it again, but just try it once.

The adult is always right! not true! If I am wrong I will apologize for my mistake just like I would expect my children to do.....if they don't ever witness this they never be able to take blame without feeling bad about themselves and never learn to accept and forgive others.

Thursday, April 21, 2005

No Vacancy



If you look real close inside this tree you can make out the face of its occupants...........The Racoon Family

It was a gorgeous day for a drive along the back woods and farmlands....I made plenty of new four legged friends! Ü

Pink Trees and Twisted Ankles


Once a year I am in total love with my Crab Apple Trees......This is that time of year. There is something magical about flowers in trees for me, growing up the only flowers I saw were coming up from the ground, we didn't have fruit bearing trees in my old neighborhood, so to see flowers blooming vibrant in a tree takes my breath away. We have many trees on our property, birch, blue spruce, evergreen, cedar and 3 crab apple trees.

My Husband was born and raised just outside of Chicago's city limits, so he was lucky to have one small tree in his yard and a patch of grass in what they considered a back yard. He chose this house because it had so many old wonderful trees......he actually counted them the day we moved in and with a look of total contentment shared that number with me.... 36 beautiful trees........I don't think he's so fond of them come Fall! LOL I know I fear the crab apple tree come fall.......the crab apples fall from the trees and become hidden under leaves and it never fails I always manage to twist an ankle and re-injure an old  injury. So much for natural born grace huh?? LOL LOL LOL

One of the many reasons I love southern California is that many of the trees have blooms on much beauty around and I wonder how many busy people walk blindly by....I hope I never get that busy.



Wednesday, April 20, 2005

Just Flowers



Just Flowers

How much longer little man
will you kiss me goodnight?
How many more small bouquets
from your hand as well as your heart?
How much longer can I claim
you as my little boy?
How much time before I have to
share that heart of yours?
How much longer do I have to
hold my breath before I let you go
to become the man you are
destined to be?


My son surprised me yesterday afternoon, while out doing yard work with his Father he stopped to collect a small bouquet from our yard for me.  A pale daffodil, a small spray of clover and a wonderful dandelion! It made me wonder just how much longer I would have hold of my sons heart, it made remember the small child smudged with mud and impishly smiling as he extended a plump little hand filled with his first bouquet of weeds for his much loved Momma. All those wonderful memories came flooding back to me as fast as the tears swelled in my eyes. Jimmy was a little puzzled to the tears and said, "Mom, they're just flowers!" and I said, "Your right they are just flowers."

As he ran off to finish helping his Dad in the yard........words and memories filled my head again and this is what came from 'Just Flowers'

Flourishing under the Influence

Important influences in my life.......Most I didn't even realize the influence until later in my life, some weren't even good influences but they became my guide as to what I would and what I wouldn't put up with in my life throughout out the years of growing up, I may have stopped growing up at some point, but I hope to never stop growing as a person.

My Mother, growing up an only child of parents who started late in life and who were both alcoholics never ceases to amaze me, somewhere along the line her parents ended up doing an amazing job or she was destined to be born an amazing person. This woman is the most honorable woman I know, she is loving, kind, intelligent, strong in mind and will ..... but fierce when she needs to be.

My Father, even though he was not the best Father, but when he was good he was very good.....But he was a horrible Husband to my Mother and it was love that kept them together for a long time. It certainly wasn't trust and fidelity, but they did have a beautiful love for one another. To bad love can't conquer all. He taught me what I didn't want in a husband, a good marriage needs to be based on more than just love and I wanted even better than a 'good' marriage.

My High School Councilor, DR G. That man proved to me that I was worth saving. I was so self destructive in my teenage years that I didn't care if I lived through them. I became a hard core drug user, abused alcohol, took risks with my life that today as a parent I would surely loose it if one of my children did the things that I did. I really didn't care if I lived or I died , I am not sure why I chose the things that I did, even after 'therapy' the reason behind everything could have been based on many things. I was either looking for an easy way out of all the pain that was trapped inside me from being raised in the era of " Shhh don't tell" or I was just looking for someone to say I was worth saving, even worth saving from myself. DR G knew more of my life than my own family members did. He listened, he cared, he took action but the best thing he did for me was he believed in me, he knew the person I am today was hidden in me somewhere, waiting until is was safe to emerge and begin to trust in myself.

Aunt Fofi, she wasn't my real aunt she was the Mom who lived across the street who saw a child who needed to feel like she belonged to something and took me into her Big Fat Greek family. I became a family member the day I moved into my house when she said unpack your bathing suit your going swimming. I spent a lot of my early years being loved by this huge family. The Greeks know how to love family members, EVERYBODY is immediate family........ I loved and needed that.

Every parent of every friend who embraced me for who I was even though they secretly gave thanks to the Lord that I was NOT their child. They all encouraged me to be who I was destined to be, because I was going to be OK, but just to 'be careful' I think they all saw the wild side of themselves and loved the idea that I was running with it, or they saw something in me they wish they could of been more like........but they were all parents and they knew that everything in life has risks and they didn't want to see me become a victim unto myself. These parents made me aware that every child needs guidance,even if it isn't your child and it is the reason that today I am the parent of a child who's friends know that I am a safe haven, someone who they can talk to, someone that they know will listen, and someone who isn't afraid to tell it like it is..... I had great mentors in my friends parents.

Last but not least was my First General Practitioner Doctor (when I bought this house in a new neighborhood and needed a new family Doctor) DR. W, who when I was finally ready to spill the beans from being raised in the era of "Shhhh don't tell" Sat silently across from me and only listened for fear if she spoke once, I would close myself off which is something I can do very easily (early survival instinct and tactic) then calmly after the walls came down and the tears started falling she said,"First we are going to get your body healthy and strong, then we are going to get your mind and your soul healthy and strong!" It was my last affirmation that I needed to know I was still worth saving........I have been on that road to recovery from so many things since that day.

Tuesday, April 19, 2005

I Spy


I Spy........................................the Baby Redtail Hawk

Journal Jar Question

Another question from Promises' Journal Jar

What are some of your favorite smells?


Oh I have bunches of them..............


The scent of wet bricks and pavement after a summer rain

The smell of know what I'm talking about...only the good smells that emanate from them! lol

The scent of Lilacs ...... I miss the house I grew up in, our side yard was filled with lilac bushes and on a spring day with the windows open they would fragrant the whole house..I'm just going to have to plant lilac bushes of my own!

The smell of Puppy Breath......Is there anything better out there really?? They are just TOO CUTE!

I also love to inhale my Husband! Talk about a body conjures up those old new feelings from when we first met, which causes butterflies in my stomach all over again. When we first met he was wearing Aramis Cologne........I still make sure he has a bottle of that with the other colognes we have picked up along our journey in life together....when he goes out of town you can bet I still dab a lil of that on myself so I can "feel" him around me.....I know.. I have it bad for that man of mine! (STILL) But he is one of my most favorite aromas!

Oh....Me so thorny! Ü

Nothing motivates me more than being told I can't do something! Just because a girl who grew up and chooses to wear make up from time to time and high heeled shoes (Oh and let's not forget the matching handbags and ohhhh..and jewelry! lol) doesn't mean the "TOMBOY" has left the building! lol

While getting the Lake ready some of the 'GUYS' decided to widen a natural deer path, that way they can cut through the woods during hunting season and not have to go on the private property of a local farmer still left in the off they go to whack a few weeds and trim a few branches and had the nerve to tell me to just sit there and look pretty!  EXCUSE ME?? WHAT???......I can get down and dirty when I still want too! And I won't loose any sleep over a broken nail...... Guess what guys???they grow back!!!

So instead of listening to me whine and shoot daggers out of my eyes at them the rest of the day......I joined in too!.....Hello! it's just like yard work isn't it.....I mean they weren't going to turn into Lumberjacks and start moving in heavy equiptment or anything!

So here I sit one week later still picking out thistle barbs from all over my body, scratched to pieces like I lost to a mutant tom cat and wondering...........What was I thinking!?!??!! lol

GRRRRRR I just love/hate a good challenge! lol lol lol

Monday, April 18, 2005

My lil Man



My Son completed his required hunting saftey class over the weekend. it was (2) 7 hours days learning the rules, laws and how to safely handle hunting weapons. The class ended with a 50 question quiz and he scored 49/50. He doesn't have the desire to actually hunt right now, he just wanted to learn all there was about it and with the gift of his first Bow, he can hardly wait for the weekends. I think he will be mostly interested in competition shooting, his Father is hoping for a new lil hunting buddy, but I think my 'Lil Man' is going to end up just being his lil fishing buddy.

I spent years thinking do they ever grow up and now when I look at my 'Lil Man' I wonder where the 'Boy' went so fast. When I bring out the old photos of past generations of Men in my Husbands family I can't help but notice they got better and better looking with each new generation.......My Husband doesn't seem to agree with me on this (lol) but even though I still find him (hubby) adorable his Son is WAAAAAAY cuter! lol lol lol 

Na na na na na naaaaaaaaa!          Sorry Dear!!!!!!

Sunday, April 17, 2005

Never leave home without it! Ü


Nothing appeals to me more than a great sense of humor! This photo Op came by the way of what used to be a sleepy little neighboring town which is now caught up in a huge growth spurt.

You can leave not only your American Express at home but your pocket change too! This phone booth only takes WOODEN NICKELS! lol lol lol

Jalopy.....Days gone by



Another casualty of time and elements......... While trespassing (yet again) on another old farmstead that sold out first to the cell phone companies by leasing a small portion of the homestead out for cell phone towers (very lucrative from what I hear) and then to land developers I found an old lean to and hidden behind it was this beautiful old Jalopy. I'm not sure of the make, model or year but you can almost bring it back in all its finery in your minds eye.

Images of Bonnie and Clyde immediately jumped into my head and of course Chicago's very own Al Capone. The neighborhood where I spent the majority of my youth used to be swamp land at some point right outside of Chicago's city limits where one of many hide outs belonging to Al Capone used to stand. I also found out recently while talking to a friends Mother, Al Capone used to stop at her Mother-in-laws house from time to time for a home cooked meal. Now if that kitchen table could talk or even this old jalopy I wonder what stories if could tell. (after thought)

I thought it would be neat to also show this jalopy in a black and white image of days gone by so here it is.....



Friday, April 15, 2005

Da Suburban Wet Lands




Can you say......ouch??

OK, Last month I found a lump.....not in my breast tissue but where my collar bone and neck meet, I noticed it because my neck was no longer what I perceived as symmetrical.....there is this pliable mass the size of a walnut....I finally gave into my Husbands threats and saw the Doctor on I had a cat scan......I should get the results early next week.......The Doctor and I are not worried, Hubby is freaked!

I had to get the cat scan with iodine contrast.........weird stuff that stuff can feel in passing through veins, you get a metallic taste in your mouth and get the feeling you just piddled in your pants! Ahhhhh brings back memories of the freedom to piddle where you stood! LOL

BUT.......I ask you? What is up with that skinny little table they put you on for the place to put you arms which has been stuck 3 times in order to get an IV you hold them in an awkward position up over our abdomen........counting to the moment until you can lay them on top of you........why not make the table a lil wider to accommodate laying your arms comfortably at your side?Just where is that damn suggestion box anyway??? LOL

Oh another joy is scheduled for next month.......mammogram...the equivalent of placing your breast in a window sill and then having the worlds strongest man slam it shut with all their might to only have the Technician tell you hold your breath with all that pain I can actually breath! And then tell you stand just where do they think I am going with my breast smashed under glass???

I'll take bend over and cough ANYDAY!!!! lol lol lol

Circle of Life


The Boys is my favorite thing to observe in the whole wide world! At times I am jealous that I am not a card carrying member, but then again there are only 2 members and I am their biggest fan!

My Husband is the only son of an only son and was a very cherished son at that. His Grandfather and Father were his idols growing up, they did everything together. My Husband could do no wrong in his Grandfathers eyes, but then again most grandparents over look quite a few wrongs, that's their job....they just adore!

My husband was besides himself the day I presented him with his son, I could see all the things he saw in his heart and mind that games in the yard, fishing trips, Monday night football side by side...all of it! My Son was my son until he turned 4 years of age.....after that he became my Husbands Son......I am the proud (very) bystander now. I can't even begin to tell you the emotion that washes over me when I see them doing things side by side together, it makes my heart swell! Even the littlest things like raking leaves or tossing the ball back and forth. It's really a beautiful thing to watch.

Everything my husband loves in life has becomes my Sons life too......they fish together, my husband has bought my Son his first bow and they practice every weekend, other weekends are spent watching football games, nascar races or fishing at the lake, swaping fish stories or tackle it doesn't matter as long as they are together.....where one goes so does the other, only recently with the notice of 'Girls" now is my Son loosing interest in hanging with Dad, and of course Dad is devasted but he remembers when he too drifted away from his Father for the attention of a girl...... The circle of life so they say.

Well, even if I am not a member of the "Boys Club" at least I can reap the benefit of seeing the mutual bonds of love and trust between its only two members.

This is my most cherished picture of the two together....taken when my son was just 2 years old and just hanging out with Dad!  Ü



Thursday, April 14, 2005

You musta been a beautiful baby......



OMG! He's sooooooooo cute!! This is "BOO" the puppy I just had to have last fall He is now 10 months old and I just love love love him! Just look at that face!!!! lol I should of named him 'PigPen' though.......if there is mud anywhere in the yard you can bet he will not only find it, but roll in it, eat it and then leave tiny lil mud prints everywhere! But he's so cute....he gets away with a lot! lol

Journal Jar

question 35 ~ baby-sitters

Did your parents ever have a baby-sitter for you?  Were you ever left in someone else's care.

Now this questions brings back warm fuzzy feelings and images of getting cracked in the head with a thick plastic hair brush, which was replaced many times for being broken over my head! LOL

With both my parents working when we finally settled down in the Chicago area, my Mom became fast friends with the woman who lived next door.... Lilly Mae also know as Lil....She is what I have considered my 'Other Mother' since I was 4 years old. This Woman should be up for sainthood. She had 5 boys and a girl of her own, but she baby sat for my Sister, my Brother and I plus another neighborhood girl from down the street! 10 out.......without the benefit of prozac mind you too! LOL........ Oh how I love this woman!

She was born and breed in the south, makes the best pot of chicken and dumplings anywhere and no one can ever come close to this woman's banana pudding.....I grew up listening to blue grass music, the Price is Right and dark shadows  (old...very old .. soap opera) It was with her youngest son Bobby that I got into the most trouble with (this is the reason for her sainthood) She is one hell-of-a-woman! And I was loved by her and her big, beautiful family!

These days to discipline someone else's child is almost unheard of, but back then we got what we deserved! LOL If I wasn't cooperating when it came time to get me ready for school in the morning by having my hair brushed out, I got cracked in the head with it, it wasn't uncommon for a hair brush to hit me dead on from 30 feet away, that woman not only had a great arm she had 100% accuracy! LOL We were also kept in line with a few whacks of the old orange matchbox race track strips, talk about welts! LOL But here me now..........I deserved everything I got! This would be the only other woman in the world I would ever trust my own kids with........all lessons learned where taught with love.

Lil and my Mom are still best friends and get together as much as they can now, she always asks about us and our families and when we can all get together in one place it's a total love fest! The old stories are great even though I am reminded I was an incorrigible child! She will always hold a special place in my heart for even at my worst she still managed to love me bunches! Ü


Wednesday, April 13, 2005

Isn't that ironic?

Oh the irony of it all...........

While out running errands the other day, I am following behind a SUV with with at least 10 pink ribbon car magnets supporting find the cure for breast cancer, as I am waiting for this woman to realize the light has turned green and wondering if maybe she is waiting for a specific shade of green, she rolls down her window and flicks what is left of her cigarette out the window.......I'm thinking Pink Ribbons (kudos), but cigarette butts?? and she litters??? tsk tsk!

Well meaning people who have no children of their own, who love to give advice on how to raise baby........."I wouldn't let my kid get away with that!" Where with 4 kids I tend to choose my battles response is always, "What kids? You don't have any kids remember?? It usually puts an end to their constructive critisism. Raising kids isn't easy just ask any parent or step parent and you can never apply all things to each child, every child is different and you have to take that into account at all times.

I am so bad about not bringing my cameras with me at all times and last weekend while out at the lake I missed the perfect irony shot.......the duck blind covered with real ducks, in and around it, they had it completly they were either thumbing their 'bills' at the grand master puba who built it or it was a really good duck blind! lol

Tuesday, April 12, 2005

Heard it in a love song.....

What I love most about Country Music is every song tells a story, some people aren't fond of country but when you really love music like I do, you appreciate all music genres. Tim Mcgraw is best known for being sexy as all get out in his own right, but he is also known for being married to beautiful Faith Hill and he is also the son of the late great Tug Mcgraw (Baseball). He met his Father later in his life and when they met it was first as friends, the Father and Son relationship happened over time. This is one of my many favorite songs by Tim Mcgraw

My Best Friend

I never had no one that I could count on
I've been that down so many times
I was tired of hurtin' so tired of searchiin'
Til you walked into my life
It was a feelin' I'd never known
And for the first time I didn't feel alone

You're more than a lover
There could never be another
To make me feel the way you do
Oh we just get closer
I fall in love all over
Every time I look at you
I don't know where I'd be
Without you here with me
Life with you makes perfect sense
You're my best friend
You're my best friend

You stand by me you believe in me
Like nobody ever has
When my world goes crazy
You're right there to save me
You make me see how much I have
And I still tremble when we touch
And oh the look in your eyes
When we make love

You're more than a lover
There could never be another
To make me feel the way you do
Oh we just get closer
I fall in love all over
Every time I look at you
And I don't know where I'd be
Without you here with me
Life with you makes perfect sense
You're my best friend
You're my best friend

You're more than a lover
There could never be another
To make me feel the way you do
And oh we just get closer
I fall in love all over
Every time I look at you
And I don't know where I'd be
Without you here with me
Life with you makes perfect sense
You're my best friend
You're my best friend
You're my best friend  

Yes as usual Jim is my muse when it comes to love songs.......I love like this.

I once had a friend whos' marriage failed and when I asked her why she thought it failed she said,"Because I made the mistake of marrying my best friend."

But......I always thought that's how love should be.

Whiney Tuesday

OK, Have I learned anything from my past? It seems that I have not and now I'm irritated at myself. I have become accustomed to NOT having to be anywhere, I hate regimented schedules.... I'm more of a fly by the seat of my pants kinda girl......something's might get away from me in being so care free but it also makes it STRESS FREE too.

Every few years it seems I sabotage myself, take on more than I can handle, actually more than I care to handle so what have I been doing over the last year after I swore I was going to cut back on everything and simplify my life? Where should I start? lol

The puppy back in October.........OK so he's only about 98% trained but he so darn cute he's staying! But he's a lot of work and in constant motion.

Rachel has decided she's no longer going to keep her gift of song to herself and close friends and family, she wants to share it, since that fund raiser where finally everyone else was able to 'hear' her gift she has been asked to sing the National Anthem for an out door summer concert series, be the entertainment for a huge local retired union corp., be part of the another towns annual town celebration, open, close and be the intermission entertainment for a local dance studio's summer that means Mom is involved now too!

I agreed to be signed up for the lake community's Secretary.......And boy was I lied to about the "ONLY" things I HAVE to do......&%#%$(#
I will be more involved than I was originally much for care free days on the lake huh?? And now that I'm on the executive board I have to follow the rules too.........all the rules.... and that totally goes against my ODD (Oppositional Defiant Disorder) AKA Rebel, law breaker, brat, spoiled, there goes all my summer fun! (2 year term too!!!!)

And I told a friend I would join a health club with her! What was I thinking??? Lycra, physical exertion, limping, a scale, a measuring tape and sweating??? Somebody STOP ME NOW!

And I can tell the In laws are coming........I can feel it in my bones (brrrrrrrr) I just know they are going to plan a lengthy summer trip up my house.........Oh I can feel a tantrum coming on....I better sign off Ü

Whiney Tuesday is now over.........and out!

Monday, April 11, 2005

Monday Photo Shoot

Your Monday Photo Shoot: Time Keeps Ticking

 Monday Photo Shoot: Show us picture of something that to you represents the passage of time.

babymelissa.jpg                    lissa.jpg

Melissa then and now


babyamanda.jpg    pouty.jpg

Amanda then and now

babyrachel.jpg                 backstagerach.jpg

Rachel then and now

babyjimmy.jpg                  liljimmy.jpg

Jimmy then and now

Sometimes when I look back in time on them, it seems like just yesterday and then other times it seems long ago and far away..........

Time in a bottle

Jim Croce

If I could save time in a bottle
The first thing that I’d like to do
Is to save every day
Till eternity passes away
Just to spend them with you

If I could make days last forever
If words could make wishes come true
I’d save every day like a treasure andthen,
Again, I would spend them with you

But there never seems to be enough time
To do the things you want to do
Once you find them
I’ve looked around enough to know
That you’re the one I want to go
Through time with

If I had a box just for wishes
And dreams that had never come true
The box would be empty
Except for the memory
Of how they were answered by you

But there never seems to be enough time
To do the things you want to do
Once you find them
I’ve looked around enough to know
That you’re the one I want to go
Through time with

Oy Vey! Ü

Again I found today's inspiration to journal in another bloggers Journal, she wrote about the time she saw her dear neighbor sprawled out in the front yard and being the good neighbor that she is, ran to try and 'revive' him, when she flipped him over to check for a pulse first, his eyes shot wide open, then with horror ran into his house, a few minutes's the link it is VERY amusing! lol

Now on to my "I can't believe that just happened story!"

You already know that I refer to my husbands boat as the "Other Woman", well she's not just the other woman in my life, his friends wives have to deal with her too......they are a pack of wild fishermen.....when the call of the wild goes out, the alarm clocks are set for God awful wake up buzzes usually around 2:00 a.m. with a rendezvous time around 3:00 a.m. in my driveway. I don't know about you but I'm am usually in my deep sleep cycle by that time so I'm not aware what is going on in or around my house at that time! Now the set up.......

Phone rings.......I slap it a few times looking for the snooze button, then I finally realize it's the phone and with my "Hello" with my face still smashed into my pillow I hear my Brother-in-law say he overslept but he's on his way please tell Jim. Since I have no idea of the passing of time I think it's Jim still in his bathroom getting ready, I have no idea Jim is already outside....let's just say I have an aversion to jammies in the summertime....the house is a tri-level, the only light on is on the main floor in the kitchen which does cast a glow up to the bedrooms and down to the lower level.

So here I am in all my naked glory (holding just the phone) tapping on the Jim's bathroom door quietly, I don't want to wake up the rest of the house and he's not answering me.......tap tap tap.....nothing! That little voice in my head tells me to step away from the door and stand back by my bedroom door........door opens......light is behind my husband (so I think) and he is now in silhouette, I am lite up like a marquee (basked in the kitchen light) and Isay why didn't you answer me JIM!?!?........"Cuz I'm not Jim"

Now picture one giant leap for womankind into my bedroom where I now have to stick my head back out the door as I reach for ANYTHING to put on and say, "Can you tell Jim that Steve overslept but he is on his way to wait for him?".......... Where Ricky who has worked with my husband for over 20 years replies.."sure!"

Fast forward to my front yard........Ricky tells Jim,"Your brother in law overslept but he's on his way now, he wants us to wait for him" Where Jim replies, "How do you know that?"..............which Ricky replies......"Cuz..... your naked wife just told me upstairs!"

So now the dilemma, do I just go take my lumps and get that first awkward moment out of the way or just postpone it until I see him again, I like to get things over with fast so I go to the front door where my Husband and Ricky are standing and my husband with a smirk on his face says, "Well, what do you have to say for yourself THIS time?" The only words that pop into my head and then out of my mouth are........"Ricky seen me naked! Ricky seen me naked!" Thank goodness his wife has a great sense of humor!

It's been 7 years and I still can't live that one down! lol lol lol

Saturday, April 9, 2005

My Computer is sick :(

My poor poor puter, it's not feeling very well and has to go in for minor surgery, It seems the A drive is either not feeling very well or has lost its memory.......such a sad sad day for me.

If it wasn't for my lil darlings and the need to be able to save school work to floppy's I wouldn't be concerned with getting this fixed so quickly. What will I do without having access to my computer, AOL journals and pogo? I have no idea.........For God's sake I hope I don't give in and do housework or even worse...... day time TV!!!!!!! I will have somewhat of a time line when I call the Computer Specialist on Monday as to how long I will be........(ok Kim....the first step is saying it out loud.....big gulp! .......C O M P U T E R L E S S) oh the agony..the injustice of it all.......maybe it will be just a simple problem like a peanut butter sandwich is crammed in there! Stranger things have happened in this crazy house of ours!

I will notify close friends and family and the neighbors to keep a close eye on me during this..... this.......difficult time. At least I have a few days to get ready for it.

I know I am going to have to deal with AOL delirium tremens (DTs).  This is a medical emergency.  The symptoms may include:

• confusion
• hallucinations
• agitation
• seizures
• disturbances of memory
• fever
• very high heart rate and blood pressure.

Hallucinations??? Great!!!! flash backs to the late 70's early 80' where did I put all those black light bulbs of mine?



Friday, April 8, 2005

2nd Wives Club

The phone call no Wife Number 2 wants to story

As most of you know already I am wife number 2, let's just say he made a much better decision marrying me than he did her......but without her there would be no Melissa and I would miss her in our lives.

Their marriage ended and ended badly, because she wanted out, they both agreed that they wed to young and both contributed to its demise. I came into his life forever 10 months after she filed for divorce......I was not the culprit but she tends to let others think that way.......The thing is she wanted back in when I came into the picture.......some truth to that old saying....... You only want what you can't have (back) or you don't know what you've got till it's gone.

We dated over four years before getting married, she was not thrilled about us getting married because as long as he was un-married he was still fair game......or though she thought. She literally lost it the day we married.....but then again I know what it's like to love this man dearly so I would of lost it too!

She called us a year later to tell us she was moving in with a man and was getting married.........we were genuinely happy for her....if she could be happy then she would let us be happy. She finally wed became pregnant but with it being a difficult pregnancy we bonded.....that's what mothers do........ we loved the same man... we loved the same child they produced.

Then the phone call........
1st wife: You know I still love him don't you?
2nd wife: Yes...I know....he's a easy person to love
1st wife: I'll always love him
2nd wife: I know that too
1st wife: You know if you ever tell my new husband about this I'll deny it!
2nd wife : Kinda figured that out........what is it you really want to say to me?
1st wife: (Through a burst of tears now) I now know the divorce was all my fault, I still love him so much and if I could just spend sometime with  him, you know make it up to him..both him and our daughter?....silence
2nd wife: Spend some time with him?? whatta you think this is? a flippin time share? get him, I get him you get him back again? Look we are happy, we want you to be happy, your married now and having your husbands's time you get on with your life and  let us get on with ours........just let it go........Can you spend some time with him?.....let me ask.........Ummm he says NO!

I keep him in line by regularly threatening to invite her over for dinner, he won't even speak to her(if you only knew what she put him through, us through, their daughter through.. you would understand).....I feel like she's my ex wife but then again I'm the peacemaker.........I'm the adult who was once the child of a divorced family........I wanted Melissa to have strong bonds with both sets of her parents, I achieved that.... Melissa is now 22 and afer all we will be sharing grandbabies someday and scary to say.......I'm gonna be the normal one?? heaven help that child! lol It will be like Crazy Grandma?..... no the Crazier one! lol and if that grandbaby is half as smart as it's mother it will know exactly who we are talking about! lol lol lol

The only time I take a back seat to anything in live is for our children, otherwise I pretty much move outta my way! Coming through! lol Ü

The Other back!

She's Baaaack! Oh How I despise

Weekend Assignment #54 Words to the Wise

Weekend Assignment #54: Words to the Wise

Got a piece of hard-won wisdom you can share? Post it to your Journal and let us know.

I seem to have learned most of my lessons the hard way, but I caught on to that early enough to know what was always coming and I took my lumps like a champ.

I have had a couple of great words of the wise spoken to me, some softly some at the top of my parents lungs! LOL

My Fathers only advice on 'BOYS' - For my 16th birthday my Father bought me what I thought was the strangest gift...10 snap in the front bras!...I'm thinking OK, I am having my sweet 16 birthday (but was already kissed, what can I say I was boy crazy by the time I hit kindergarten running! LOL) and my Father has bought me bras??? Then came is best attempt at warning me about 'BOYS'...."By the time the SOB's figure out the hook is in the front and not the back you will have enough time to slug, slap or kick em where it hurts!" Only sex talk I ever received from my parents! LOL

The other piece of advice came to me via a person that by the time I wrote out the whole 6 degrees of separation thingy I would have lost many who read my journal so I'll just get to his words that made me feel OK about myself which was hard because at the time I was just 18, but the words stuck with me and made a difference on how I lived my life. "Don't let people try and change you, stay who you are. There are going to be plenty of people who are threatened by your strong personality, the way you look or the way other people look at you, but don't let them get to you, always be....just you!"

And now for my Mother's advice which gave me strength and perseverance whenever I needed it, "If you rely on yourself.... you will never be disappointed"

 Nuff said! LOL





Thursday, April 7, 2005

Rachel: Walkin' After Midnight

Just another Patsy Cline song ALA Rachel

Ain't love grand! Ü

Here is just a few of the 'discussions' that I have won at home! LOL

DH: "Why do Women think they need a lot of jewelry?"
ME: "And just how many fishing poles and hunting rifles/shot guns does one man need?"

DH: "Why do you need a bigger diamond? If I remember correctly you said your ring was "Just Perfect" when I first gave it to you?"
ME: "If I remember correctly when you bought your first boat it was "perfect" for you but then a few years later you wanted a BIGGER BETTER Boat!"

DH: "When I retire in a couple of years maybe you might want to think about going back to work."
ME: "Ummmm...... Maybe your 3rd wife!" (I'm his 2nd wife, I gave up my career in Real Estate to add to our family because he wanted more children......We already had 2 and I gave him 2 more)

DH: "What do you mean you and the girls are going on a Cruise?"
ME: "What do you mean you and the boys are going on a fall hunting trip, a winter fishing trip, AND a spring fishing trip?"

DH: "I'm going to buy a boat."
ME: "OK, I'm going to buy a swimming pool"
DH: "We aren't getting a pool!"
ME: "Then you aren't getting a boat!"
****(1 week later)****
DH: "I bought a boat!"
ME: "Good! Because I bought a pool!"

I guess you see why I have the screen name 'Demandnlilchit' now huh??? LOL......We do compromise on a lot of things......when we bought our first house together we agreed that there won't be ANY flowers (decor) in the Master Bedroom and we agreed that ONLY the family room will house his hunting trophies.

So many of our nights end with a good night kiss and a "Your lucky I love you so much" and there is always a reply, "And your lucky I love you so much too!"

I wouldn't want to be me if I didn't have him and this wonderful BIG LOVE!...... LOL LOL LOL

While traipsing around old farms that are no longer in use, I have found a new subject matter that causes a little longing whenever I find them, I am drawn to old farm houses and falling down barns but what I have seemed to over look before is the simple remnants left behind from the families that used to live there.

I have started looking in the old trees on the vacant properties now and finding some wonderful hand made bird houses that were also left behind when the land owners sold out to the developers in our area. It just means that another farm with another barn will be destroyed for progress and most of the land is cleared taking all the smaller trees with them. Thanks to a few developers they are at least leaving some of the older more mature trees for the new subdivisions.

I am drawn to unusual tree formations, old weathered barns and abandoned farm houses and with every new subdivision I loose another great shot. Here are just a few of the bird houses left behind.




Notice the hand made silo attached to this old bird house that was made out of chicken wire



This shot is of an old brick farm house that the hanging vines have somehow made there way in between the homes windows and storm windows, even the leaves from last fall are still visable stuck in between the two glass windows. I thought this would make a great shot because of all the subtle subjects in one shot, the bird feeder, the branches with their shadows cast on the glass, the old temperature gauge, the lovely colors found in the bricks.....this shot turned out better than I thought it would! Ü

Tuesday, April 5, 2005

Rachel's Audio entry

rachiebylake.jpgThis is my baby girl singing , She is 13 years old and was singing melodies before she was putting sentences together. She spends part of her summer entertaining senior citizens at community centers in our area. She not only has an amazing voice she has an amazing heart too!....... Ü

 This is her bathroom rendition of 'Crazy' by Patsy Cline, she also enjoys other classic country singers like Loretta Lynn, Tammy Wynette along with newer artists like Gretchen Wilson and Martina Mcbride. She enjoys all gendre's of music. She definitely has the music in her! lol

This photo below was taken of her during a performance on stage benefiting the local Kiwanis Club, which funds a lot of childrens charities and programs in the chicago area. This was her first time up on stage outside of school musicals, she finally felt at ease up there, but didn't like all the fuss and the muss of stage make up and hair! lol  but at then again I didn't start wearing make up of fooling with my hair until I was almost 16! lol......but she cleans up good doesn't she! lol 


Thanks for everyones wonderful comments left in my journal for my daughter Rachel.....This has helped her so much in her continuous battle with stage fright....she LOVES to sing but isn't that comfortable (yet) with being in the limelight and having people look at her attentively.....I thought this entry would be a great place to add other links to some of the other entries of her singing. Just click on the links below and they will take you to other entries of her renditions of other old and new song favorites...You can use the alert system to alert you to future songs from her...just click on "Alert me as entries are posted"

Rachel singing Loretta Lynn

Rachel singing Dixie Chicks

Rachel singing another Patsy Cline "Walking after Midnight"

backstagerach.jpg  onstage.jpg

I'll try to get a better version of her singing this song, it was last minute and she is having sinus problems (again) but Mom's Proud of her!