Wednesday, December 28, 2005

Let's play catch up, Shall we?

Ok, after failing miserably trying to convince Santa that I have been a good girl and should be rewarded with a brand new computer, Santa and I compromised.....I would try to be a good girl in the upcoming new year! lol!  I will be picking up my new computer before the weekend and I hope that all the good entries that I have been coming up with in my head won't fail me once I have the time and the computer to write them all down.

So much has happened since I have been computerless.....I have always been told "you should write a book about your life" a few more of those kind of moments have happened since my computer's hard drive went AWOL. Some funny stories some not so funny stories but at least no painful lessons over the last few weeks. That's the good thing about going through therapy all those years ago, I very rarely repeat any of my old mistakes...once you learn why you made them, it stops the vicious cycle of repeating many of them. Let's just say it sure sucked to ALWAYS have to learn the lessons the hard way...but that is how I always seemed to do it.

Things are good with the family, our oldest daughters wedding (July) is all falling into place nicely, Our middle daughter (the one so much like me I could slap myself for having her! lol) is learning that life does not come with as a free ride, She is employed now and making her way in her own life right now, the boyfriend suffered a "breakdown" and has been hospitalized, released and diagnosed with  Schizophrenia (told ya things have been up and down around here) He is currently back at home with his parents and my daughter is trying to keep the apartment on her own....(she too, has to learn lessons the hard way.)

The songstress(youngest daughter) of the family is going into the studio tomorrow to cut her demo and the (top) recording company that is still interested in her, is patiently waiting for the demo and our meeting. I still have very mixed feelings over this and I'm still not sure what I am going to do.

Our youngest (the boy! lol) is happy that it's ice fishing time and is looking forward to out trip up north next month to snow board and do a lil ice fishing with his Dad. I will attempt to try skiing again this year, but I am much more comfortable in the lodge, sitting in front of a roaring fire with an Irish Coffee in my hand! lol My last attempt at skiing was extremely humiliating when I couldn't even balance myself long enough on one ski to snap my other boot into the other ski....little kids can be so vicious! lol lol lol I gave up after 10 minutes of public humiliation and the laughter of my Husband who took to skiing like a duck to water! I toasted him from the floor to ceiling window in the lodge with every passing!

Well, I have to sign off again for now, but hope to have my new computer up and running before the weekend......but then again, Murphy's Law is always out there waiting isn't it! lol lol lol


Happy New Year!

Saturday, December 10, 2005

Yes, an update! lol

Ok, I have finally arrived at my wits end! I always wondered what that meant and now I know! I hate not being able to log on when ever I needed too. I didn't realize how dependent I was to being "online" it has always been my first choice whenever I needed to look something up, check something out or just simply wanna go brain dead playing pogo!

My middle daughters boyfriend has taken my computer apart trying to fix it for me, then something came up and he no longer has time to fix it and put it back together for me, the hard drive is literally sitting outside of the tower and I have been told to be very careful in handling it while packing it up to go to the real computer repair shop! And of course Murphy's law has applied itself to my life once again, he is booked and can't tell me a ball park time on when to drop it off. It's a good thing that I always anticipate Murphy's Law...that way it can never take me by surprise and hold me down for too long! lol

I am not missing journaling as much as I thought I would but then again, I tend to spend the dark of winter mostly silent, I haven't touched my camera in weeks even though I have new accessories for it.

Reading and writing email via my cell phone is getting real old too! I will never be a super text messenger...I find it tedious at best!

I wonder if AOL has felt the loss of some really good blogs yet, it feels to me like a family that has been split up after a tragedy has struck. I wonder how many of us will loose touch after adds more sadness to the situation.

I don't even know the future of my own personal blog, I'm not sure if I'll be back all......I seem to have lost my will to journal..I just hope it doesn't stay away as long as it did before I discovered AOL Journals...that writing "dry spell" lasted over 20 years! I wrote a lot before I became a Mother...after that time to myself was no longer an option. Now I have the time but not the will.......such is life huh?

I hope everyone has a wonderful holiday and an even better new year!


Tuesday, November 15, 2005

MY Formal Protest

I have crashed my computer yet again, Ill be back as soon as I can.......well at blogspot, myspace and UK-Land! lol


If you have always considered my journal a nice place to visit, then please come join me at my new home for blogging. It's still AOL, but it's in the UK Journaling section now, which at this point is banner free. Blogspot is nice, but then there isn't a way for you to receive my updated alerts. So please remember to click alert me as entries are posted


The reason for BIG move was as follows........

Dear AOL,  

 Let this post serve as my official protest against you, AOL for spamming my personal journal with advertisements. I have used your "tell us" option, I have posted my thoughts on the journal board, I have left you a message at the link you provided for me in a message on the Journal boards and I have created a journal at and

I wanted to familiarize myself with the differences between their blog space and yours because I have become an UNHAPPY CAMPER with my service at AOL.  

 I will not be posting here for awhile because I will be too busy visiting all the Bank of America's to plaster their walls with my journal. I want to see if they will be as amused as I was to find them plastered on my journal this morning.  

To my faithful readers,   As soon as I choose an alternative place I feel as comfortable at as I did with AOL Journals, I will post links to my new home. I am hoping maybe AOL will change their minds about this matter. I will be keeping this journal open (but don't intend to post) until I can make a decision that benefits..........ME!

I am fighting for my right to choose when and if I want to spam my readers with whom AOL chooses to sell me and my words to.  


Monday, November 14, 2005

It was a marvelous night


                   "Moon Dance"


Saturday, November 12, 2005

Me and Escort?.... Forgetaboutit!

Ode to my Nextel!

A few years back, we joined on the nextel band wagon along with most of our friends. A Friends brother was employed by them at the time so we were able to get in on the friends and family program. I absolutely love the direct connect feature. With my Husbands job it is almost impossible to reach him, so all I have to do now is press the side button on the side of my nextel phone and I get a hold of him instantly.

We have been able to "beep" each other when I was off sailing in the ocean blue, I was able to say goodnight to my children when I was away having Me time with friends all over the country. I can even reach my Husband when he is in the fishing on the Great Lakes or off hunting or fishing in other states. I am pretty sure he isn't thrilled with it at times! lol  It's like walkie talkies for adults!

When I was first assigned my cell number with nextel, I used to get the weirdest calls and voice mails! I had numerous men calling and asking if I could meet them in places like Seattle, Las Vegas, Boston, Mexico, Tokyo and places like that. If it was a voice mail I never returned the call, if I happened to answer it, I would just hang up. Then I got used to it, so I began just saying "No, Thank you!" Then my warped sense of humor kicked in, I'd say, "Well, Gee! Let me ask my Husband and if it's alright with him I'll pack a few things and I'll be on my way! Should I bring the kids? How about Los Angeles They would love to see Disney Land!" Now I was the one getting hung up rude! lol

This went on for about 2 months, it didn't bother me enough to change my number because my number was one digit away from my Husbands and it was easy for the kids to remember. Finally one time when I used my "well, Gee let me ask..." a man just started laughing! So I finally asked this man, "Just where did you get my number anyway?" at first he was silent then he said he found it in the personal ads in the back of a gentleman's magazine under escort services! Gee nextel! THANKS! Now everything made sense.

Just think of all the fun I could have had if I had known that all in the beginning! lol What a game of "Mother May I" or "Simon Said" Or even "Maybe I could after this rash clears up! (I know....MY BAD!) I could have had so much fun with that! lol lol lol

Friday, November 11, 2005

So, you come here often?


What's wrong with this picture?



It's supposed to be Duck! Duck! Goose! lol lol lol

(Sorry! Just couldn't help myself!  Ü Intervention I tell ya, I need an intervention! lol)

Have you thanked a Veteran today?



My parents met, fell in love, married and created a family while serving this beautiful country of ours. I don't believe War should be celebrated, but the American's who selflessly serve in it should always be honored! Have you thanked A Vet today?


                          Thanks Mom and Dad!

More on destiny

What I love the most about blogging, especially in a community like AOL Journals, is that it brings wonderful, interesting people into your life. I have met people who have inspired me, who have pushed the envelope with me, who have accepted me and who have challenged me. I love to meet people who make me think and open my mind to other ways of thinking.

Remember that old saying, "A mind is a terrible thing to waste?" I believe a 'closed mind' is even more terrible! I used to try and reason with 'closed minds' (That's me! Learn everything the hard way! lol) I am much more interested in people who have their own minds but are open to other peoples ways in life. I think people with open minds can only enrich my life. It is so interesting for me to meet people with different takes on different things in my life. The key word is acceptance.

A journal buddy of mine who always challenges my mind on many of my theories is Psychfun, what I like about her so much is she is always pondering things, I ponder less these days because of my age I think. I am past my childhood, survived my 20's, 30's and in the beginning of my 40's I now understand that something's are just meant to be what they are.....they come with no hidden meanings. Ashlee reads my journal and asks the kinds of questions that make me go deeper in my explanations. She questioned fate and kismet from my last entry, and if they are real why does some love end up in divorce?

My theory again is based on time. I believe every union of love good or bad brings you closer and closer to true love, in a marriage that ends, we realize what we will accept and what will not accept from our next partner. Think of it as a father who gives away his daughter in a wedding ceremony. The dad has loved and nurtured this woman, but the time is right for her to go off in a new direction.

My own parents divorced for many reasons, does that mean they did not have love? No, they had love, it just wasn't meant to last a life time. It was destined to be that amount of time in each others lives, my siblings and myself were destined to come from that time. When Jim and I first met even though he was married, he still hadn't become a father yet, and I still had not become a mother to my daughter Amanda....I honestly believe we didn't come together at that time because Amanda and Melissa were destined to be and we both believe in the sanctity of marriage, like I said, he is an honorable man. I believe we both had to go through the experiences that we went through on those few years in between to make us ready for each other, to make us right for each other.

Even the bad things that I experienced as a child and teenager, brought something to my life. My Fathers alcoholism and abuse made me keenly aware of what I did not want in my marriage, my brothers physical abuse against me most of my childhood, taught me to stand up as an adult and make it perfectly clear what I will and what I won't put up with in my life, even the man who attempted to abduct me from my home (while home alone) and then later from the street at 16 made me a parent who is very diligent in keeping my children safe.

Everybody brings something to your life, I try to bring only positive things to the people whose lives I am entwined with or who I encounter as  I go through my life's journey. I also try to feed my own soul on a daily basis. Being thankful for the little things in life is what makes each day a wonderful experience.

Thursday, November 10, 2005

Timing is everything! Even with love!

The first time I saw my now Husband, was in a bar (1981). Grant it I was under age by 3 years, but I had only stopped in because one of my girlfriends Mother owned the bar and another one of my girlfriends was dating a regular of the bar. The bar door had a bell above it and when someone walked in and the bar wasn't too noisy everyone would turn to see who just walked it.

We entered, the bells rang, the guys that were sitting at the bar all turned to see who came in and that's when my heart almost burst through my chest. You know that feeling, it is thrilling and terrifying at the same time. The introductions were made and he didn't look twice at me (something that I wasn't used to, but understood when my girl friend told me he's off limits, he's married!) It was like window shopping to me....liked it! wanted it! But I was not going to get it! lol Married men are me old fashioned! But I told my girlfriends who looked at me like I was nuts and said to them, "I am going to marry that man someday!"

Over the next 3 years we ran into each other a lot, I took off with a new love to New York but was in town a lot and Jim still never paid attention to me. To a girl who's Father could not honor his marriage vows from the start, I found this man (Jim) to be an honorable husband. By the beginning of 1985 I was through with New York and moved back home I needed to finish growing up and my Boyfriend, who I left behind in New York, loved me enough to let me go and do that, the door would always be open.

By the Spring of 1985 I ran into Jim again, it was like he noticed me for the first time, I could tell by the way he looked at me, (come on girls we know the difference when a man looks at us and then LOOKS at us! lol) During our first few minute of conversation of How you been? how is life treating you? I found out that Jim's marriage was over, divorce papers were filed and he was going through the same stages in life as I was at trying to figure out who he was and were he was going. We were to meet later for drinks after his softball game was over, but signals were crossed and we both waited at two different bars, thinking the other person just blew us off.

In life timing is everything, from the first time I saw him, my heart called out to him and patiently waited for a response, we did not see or speak to each other again until spring of 1986. He had run into some friends of mine who had told him how I felt about him all these years and even my girl friend who first introduced us told him how I said I was going to marry him someday........and on that day the stars finally lined up, we both no longer belonged to someone else and he called me and asked if he could take me out to dinner.

At first I had no idea who was on the other end of the phone, when I returned his call, just a message, Hi Kim this is Jim, could you please return my call? I called him back and when he asked me over for dinner, I still had to ask if I even knew him and he said, "I hope so you are supposed to marry me someday!" Right then I knew who it was, dropped the phone, danced around my kitchen for a minute, then casually picked up the phone and said "Yes" to dinner.....its been kismet ever since.

Many times before that call our paths crossed, but it wasn't our time to be. I believe that if we would of started this love affair at any time sooner than we did, it would not have lasted all these years. It was finally the right time, our time and even today when I look at him, I think that even if I just met him at this time, I would still fall in love at first sight and say to myself, "I'm going to marry that man someday!" That's how you know if it's forever love.......when you keep falling in love with the same person over and over again, that is what keeps old love new.

What a gift that is and I am thankful!

Wednesday, November 9, 2005

"Autumns" show stopper


         kmh 2005

       Even fall recognizes red as a power color

Today's Sunrise Shot


kmh 2005

My poor neighbors! Once again I was out lurking at sunrise, camera and coffee cup in hand, dressed in my sweat pants and hoodie with my Miss Piggy slippers on. I'm not sure if they think I need an intervention of some type or if they have just gotten used to me lurking through their yards day and night, trying to get that 'Unusual Shot!'

The tree is spectacular and so was this morning sunrise, but how stunning they are when incorporated into each other! I only had to shoot 3 shots at different angles to get this shot that pleased me to no end!

High Maintenance...schmaintenance! lol

My 30's freed me from wearing high heels everywhere I went, I no longer considered having height over comfort. My 30's also freed me from thinking I had to wear make up every time I left the house, with 4 kids, my house and a small business..... who had time to apply the war paint right?? And now that I am in my 40's I have given up doing my hair everyday and just wrap it in a ponytail holder on the top of my head (see sidebar picture) I certainly have gone low maintenance! I now save the heels, war paint and hair down for those special occasions.

Well, I guess I have been looking pretty brutal! lol Sunday night I had joined some friends for cocktails and I decided it was time to 'clean myself up good!' So I did the old ritual. I used every product that I owned, from hair, to nails, to war paint and I even threw on my favorite red leather boots with my favorite red sweater. I could not count the compliments that night (even a stranger who looked like Tim McGraw......flutter!flutter!) From the girlfriends to their husbands to my own husband who was still trying to put the moves on me! lol Who knew what a lil shadow above the eye, a lil concealer under the eye (to cover shadows! lol!) and a slash of red lipstick could do for a girl! lol

Ok, So maybe I should add a lil color to me more often, get out of my usual sweat pants, jeans and hoodies once in awhile and show a lil of the diva that was once part of my everyday life........maybe, maybe not!  Well, at least I know why the call the mascara applicator 'wand'  now...... it must be magic! lol lol lol

Monday, November 7, 2005

Monday Photo Shoot

Your Monday Photo Shoot: Do "Before and After" photos on any subject you like. The idea is to show change over a bit of time. Some easy ideas would be haircuts, cleaned-up rooms, kittens growing up into cats, and etc. And yes, this means you can dip into your collection of old photos (they certainly qualify as "before").


"New Born Robin" Before and after all in the same shot!


kmh 2005

For more great photo's visit John Scalzi's blog and get before and after shots of other bloggers participating in Monday's Photo Shoot



      kmh 2005

 I love to capture my children through my photo lens when they aren't aware of my presence. My Son was fishing off the dock last summer and I captured his reflection in the water from the shore line. The sky was the perfect shade of blue with just wisps of airy clouds in the high noon sky. I love this photo, it captures a perfect summer day  in a young boys life who lives to fish.

A cry for help! lol

Ok, My name is Kimberleigh, AKA Demandnlilchit and I am an AOLaholic!  Wow, how liberating is that! I am also here to admit I  am in need of an AOL 10 step program. (Breath Kimberleigh breath!)

Here I was sitting at my computer this morning, updating Windows EP, going through some photo's old and new, trying to pick out a few photos that I wanted to post to my journal and whammo! I lost phone service (Yes, I'm still on dial up! lol I don't have the need for speed, just reliability.) I quickly grab the house phone and Nutn! Nada! So I grab the cell phone, dial the home number and I get the recording that my home line is being checked for trouble in the line.....PANIC! PANIC!! PANIC!!!!! Breath in! Breath out!

I call the phone company for an update, I'm told the new construction down the street hit the line and that they have been called by other neighbors effected by the outage (hooray! for the neighbors) and a repair truck is in route! Hip! Hip! Hooray!

Check the phone line, look at the clock, check the phone line, look at the clock..(repeat 20 times) Oh what the hell! Do some laundry, eat some oat meal, pay some bills and half an hour later........dial tone!!!!
(happy dance through family room while modem is connecting)

Human behavior is a very strange thing, if I didn't want to be on the computer (my choice) I'm ok with that, but the minute the choice is taken away from me......panic!!! outrage!!! Same thing with my truck, it can sit in the garage for days and I never think twice about it, but the minute it's at the repair shop....panic!!! outrage!!! But I need me truck! I can't be trapped in the house! I'll go crazy!!! lol

Human behavior is strange.....indeed!

Friday, November 4, 2005

Another self discovery

When I started writing in this journal I had blogged about letting go of toxic friendships, ones that always seem to take more than they gave and were exhausting on a daily basis. I had to let go of my best friend, it was bittersweet, but necessary for me to do at that time in my life. It wasn't because I had enabled her to stay stuck where she was, but the complete opposite, I fought hard to get her to release herself. And in the end, I had given up because she and now I, both knew that is where she was going to stay. She didn't want change, she just wanted to vent.

 It's been almost 2 years since we have had a conversation, we had some small ones, like when she repaid on a loan I had given her, and I called to thank her but nothing deep.  

 We had a 2 hour conversation earlier in the week, and she revealed somethings to me that she knew were going to upset me but, we were both surprised when I had no reaction to it. It is her life, she can live it the way she wants too......just like I am living mine. Big change on my part, because I am a "Fixer" and I let the moment pass without thinking she needed a resolution to what she shared with me.  

What I am just coming to realize about myself is that whenever I see a 'situation' I always try to solve it the way I would. But I lost sight of I am the only me, so why would I expect someone else to resolve something just like I would?

Knowing how I would handle certain situations is always a good thing, it's a plan in case something happens, but expecting everyone to handle it just like I would is wrong, I know that now.  

What I noticed about the elderly is that they get hard set in their ways, some do it without knowing and some do it because they think they have the right to be that way. That they earned their stripes and their scars and they can be how they want. I know that I am not old yet, because I am still in the process of changing. Old way views are taking on a new spins for me. I now know that everybody is handling their lives just how they want it do be done, otherwise they would find their own solutions and act on it, make the changes if they felt they needed to.  

My first instinct is to always rush in and solve problems, that is what I do with my problems. I never sit and dwell, my mind processes things to fast, my first instinct is ok, what do I do about this? This new perspective that is revealing itself to me slowly is teaching me to not be so judgmental, people have the right to live their life the way they choose and who am I to tell them they are doing it wrong? If it's wrong they will get there on their own time and make the changes they feel are needed to make it right. People are going to do what they are going to do so why knock myself out over it?  

My friends life is still the same, but my view has changed on how I see it, I tried to get her help when she needed and wanted it, but the changes had to come from her, and because her situation is something that I would never allow myself to be in doesn't mean it's wrong for her. If she is accepting that as her life then I should too.  

I can still say I would do things differently but I now only speak for myself. What I learned from this is, people are different and that means I needed to let people be different. Everybody has a way and eventually everybody finds their own way and lives their life as it is intended.  

We will never be as close as we were, but that is ok with both of us now. We both learned valuable lessons, Hers- if you don't want everybody up in your business then don't invite them into it. Mine-When your a "Fixer" not everybody wants to be "Fixed."  

It's all about bounderies,  yours and theirs.

Thursday, November 3, 2005

"The Colors of Autumn"


"Autumn is a second spring where every leaf is a flower"
Albert Camus

I'm sucha stinka! lol

I should of named my last photo's in series "midnight in the garden of good and evil"....I loved that movie and I think it is an excellent title! What good and evil am I struggling with today? My Darling Husband wants to borrow my digital camera for an upcoming trip! This has sent me into somewhat of a panic attack! lol Now mind you I can ignore the call of my camera for weeks even months on end, but that is by my choice, the thought of not having my camera by the front door for any of my whims to go shoot is sending me into a panic attack! lol  

Good Kim: Just let him take the camera and let him enjoy it! Bad Kim: Let him get his own damn camera!  

 Hmmmmmm.......I wonder which Kim is going to win out! lol But then again, just look at my screen name, it's a no brainer! lol   I'm sucha stinka! lol

Wednesday, November 2, 2005

"Water Bearer"


            kmh 2005

"The Gazebo" in sepia


               kmh 2005

"Secret Garden"




kmh 2005

"Woman Child"


In most of my shots, if you look close enough you can sense how I am feeling at that moment. My need to share the view of what goes on in my head is what drives me on those days where I am compelled to take aim with my camera and shoot. Every shot I take and share with others is but a glimpse of how I envision my world around me.

With every view I take I usually see something that I want to capture with my camera lens. Sometimes I have to wait for the right mood, the right time of day and even the right lighting, but I use no fancy tricks with my camera, no artificial lights, lenses or filters. Nature creates enough beauty for me that I feel it needs no further embellishments.

I use a simple point and shoot digital camera, I was once told it has nothing to do with the equipment that you use, it has everything to do with seeing with your minds eye, that perfect shot and taking it. I am often overjoyed with what I see when I am finished. It is my art form and I hope you enjoy discovering it as much as I enjoy sharing it!

Tuesday, November 1, 2005

"Red Leaf"


Now Autumn's fire burns slowly along the woods, And day by day the dead leaves fall and melt, And night by night the monitory blast Wails in the key-hole, telling how it pass'd O'er empty fields, or upland solitudes, Or grim wide wave; and now the power is felt Of melancholy, tenderer in its moods Than any joy indulgent Summer dealt.  
 William Allingham

Friday, October 28, 2005

"The Waterfalls Edge"


    "The Waterfalls Edge"

     kmh 2005

Thursday, October 27, 2005

"Willow Bay"



       kmh 2005



  "White Egrets"

   kmh 2005

Wednesday, October 26, 2005

7 questions answered....things I say the most

I'm still working on my answers on the 7 questions answered. next in the series of questions is......7 questions asked and answered, will be 7 things I say most often.....(warning I do have a potty mouth and it ain't pretty! lol)

1) "I LOVE YOU" I say it several times a day to the people that I love in my life..... family, friends and my jewelry collection! lol I was raised in a family that spoke these words often, my Husband was not raised with a lot of affection, but being married to me and my large, out spoken Irish family has worn off on him. It sounds even better when it's followed by an "I love you too!"

2) "RAT BASS TURD" (phonetically written as not to offend! lol) Everybody is a rat bass turd when I am in a silly mood! lol

3) "THAT BASS TURD!" Again everybody is a bass turd....the paper boy when he throws the paper in the bushes, the raccoons when they knock over the garbage cans, the bowling pins that refuse to fall down on bowling night.....etc.

4) "Let the dog out"

5) "Let the dog in"

6) "Get off the phone"

7) "Leave me be!" this shout out can go to just about everybody......Jim, the kids, the telemarketers, the door to door solicitors, the mosquitos, the alarm clock, the In-Laws! lol

Tomorrows question:
7 Celebrity Crushes

They call me mellow yellow


     kmh 2005

What a beautiful..... yesterday


Yesterday, what a beautiful day! I was inspired to take my camera out. It had been laying dormant by the front door, silently wishing to be put to good use, but I hadn't felt inspired to do so in weeks. The trees are alive with ever changing colors and I was afraid I was going to let it pass without a photo tribute, but at last inspiration hit.

I started off my morning with a solo trip to the pumpkin patch, I didn't realize how I missed the annual trips I used to take with the kids until I walked among the rows of pumkins. They are now all past the pumpkin patch stages in their lives, so now I will have to wait and revisit with future grandchildren.

While at the pumpkin patch I heard the call of the taffy apple and washed it all down with a hot cup of apple cider, just as I was about the leave the cover of the enclosed food court a light sprinkle broke through the sometimes cloudy, sometimes sunny sky and I was graced with a late fall rainbow. What a gift that trip to the pumpkin patch revealed to me, I revisited my own childhood as I let the mixed flavors of the ripe caramel covered apple, sprinkled with nuts melt in my mouth, the aroma of the spiced apple cider reminded me of cold fall mornings from my youth, I revisited my minds eye with snapshots of my own children as they ran from pumpkin pile to pumpkin pile trying to find the perfect pumpkin to take home and carve, and then the full rainbow as the sunlight and rain hit my upturned was a nice moment to be lost in. My day only got better with a stolen lunch with my husband Jim and a very late night cheering on my favorite baseball team from the warm confines of my bed and down comforter.....The Chicago White Sox!

My life is blessed and I am thankful!

Tuesday, October 25, 2005

Monday Photo Shoot "Pumkin Puss"

Your Monday Photo Shoot: Halloween Decorations and Greetings

Your Monday Photo Shoot: Halloween is just a week away! Display your current decorations and preparations, or show off a favorite from years past. Pumpkins, holiday cards, decorations from Halloween parties and porch displays -- it's all good.



kmh 2005

Want to see more Halloween Photo's then visit John Scalzi's  Blog!

MUM is the word! lol


kmh 2005

7 questions asked and answered (opposite sex)

Alrighty then! Now that my computer is almost functioning again I guess I will finish working on my answers on the 7 questions answered. I was just about to answer Seven things that attract me to the opposite sex: before I was so rudely interupted by my computer crashing! lol

1) Physical has nothing to do with a person being good looking or not, after all beauty is subjective. It has more to do with how my body and mind responds to that person. I'm attracted to who I am attracted to and can't change that.

2) A sexy mouth! Come on girlzzzz you know what I am talking about! lol I remember when I first met my husband in 1981....I caught myself always staring at his mouth when he talked.....I still do! lol Ok, I'm fanning myself here....give me a minute! lol

3) great hands! Now this is the one thing that Jim's first wife and I could agree on....he has beautiful hands! A lil worn by time and hard work but all in all they are beautiful!

4) A beautiful mind! I can't tell you how many times I was bored to tears sitting across a dinner table (Dates) from a man with a pretty face who couldn't stimulate my mind. There is no bigger turn off then a person who can't carry on a good conversation and who begins every sentence with an I, I, I! My mind needs to be challenged, and being 'quick witted' is a definite turn on for this woman! lol

5) Being able to do a pair of Levi jeans justice! Ok, so I'm a BUTT girl! lol

6) Ok, This one may be hard to follow so I hope I can explain it well, How the man looks at me. It has nothing to do with having pretty eyes it all has to do with "Does their heart show in their eyes?" There is that old saying "wearing your heart on your sleeve" I don't wear mine on my sleeve.....but it is visible in my eyes. OK, now I am softly humming that old song "The look of love" what a great song!

7) How they treat other people around them, from friends and family to strangers on the street. I like a little arrogance in a man, but I don't find rudeness attractive at all!

Ok, now for tomorrows
7 questions asked and answered, will be 7 things I say most often.....(warning I do have a potty mouth and it ain't pretty! lol)

Sunday, October 23, 2005

WoooHooo! I am back! lol

I finally have my computer back! Doing a happy dance here and there and everywhere! And of course, now that it is up and running, I can't find anything to write about! grrrrr! Now almost everyday back when I was computer less, I had a ton of things I wanted to share here in my blog, but alas I am coming up empty! lol

It seems I have lost a lot of things on my computer, like all my mp3's and a few programs, my filing cabinet and all my saved mail, but at least I didn't loose any of photographs........ I think that would of saddened me to no end. I even lost all my archived poetry, but since that seems to flow from me in large masses at times and a few of my very best have been shared here in my journal, I have those keep as long as I continue with my blog. I'm sure I will find I have lost more things, but won't come across those things until I go looking for them later.

Well,  I'm off to reselect all my settings and see what else I might have to reinstall. I think I have a few questions still to answer in my Seven questions asked and answer up what attracts me to the opposite sex is where I left off....I think that is where I will pick up tomorrow! Ü

Saturday, October 22, 2005

where do I begin! lol

So much to say so little time! lol.....My computer is being held hostage by my middle daughter and her boyfriend, they seem to think they can bring it back from the brink of death.......held my breath till I turned blue, then thought, I can do this! I can be without a computer for a month...right??? I have good non computer days and bad non computer days....but I do miss writing in my journal almost everyday.

The good thing is without a working computer in my home we are spending more quantity and quality time together as a family...still weighing in on the benefits of spending more time with the family.....I'll let you know the end results of all this family bonding when my computer is up and running again!lol

I went wedding dress shopping with my oldest daughter earlier this week, now that was a warm fuzzy moment if I ever had one! We had to keep in mind that she is getting married on the beach in the carribean in July.....can you say hot! hot! hot? She looked so beautiful in every dress she tried on, but we narrowed it down to 2 from... Ummm... I don't know 200!?!?!?! lol Then we both agreed which would be THEE DRESS and ordered it, (as soon as my computer is running I will post pictures of the dress!)

I got through my Son's first season of Football...only one broken bone for him and one anxiety attack for the Momma! As far as Rachel and the huge record label, we are still in negotiating a meeting stage....I can wait she is only 14 after all and even she realizes the changes that will come willing or not if she chooses to walk down this musical path.

I wanted to thank everyone who has expressed missing me here in J-Land while I'm incommudicato and most times I only have access to the internet via my Nextel, I do still read every entry on my watch list but I have no desire to text email via phone pad (tedious, if I do say so myself!) Dorn....Gabe is still in my prayers everyday, I'm so proud of that young man of yours!

well, I have to end this sooner than I want to but I am at my sisters house supposed to be participating at a neighbors birthday I'll say my goodbyes for now.....take care of yourselves and each other.


Monday, October 10, 2005

Where's Waldo? :(

Just in case you all think I have fallen off the face of the earth, no need to worry or wonder anymore.....My computer is D.O.A.....thanks to my Middle Daughter and Her Boyfriend...I still have no idea what is wrong with it, or if it can be fixed or just needs to be replaced.....moment of silence please....

I am going through total computer withdrawal and I am so bored with my daytime hours that I have had to turn to house cleaning and cooking to take up all my free non AOL time  now.....(insert swear words here) But I guess that was just a sign that the In-Laws are planning on returning for yet another visit...another moment of silence please.......

I hope all is well with everyone and I hope to be back on line soon....but in the mean time I guess it's time to get more intimate with Mr. Clean, Mrs. Dash and Mr. Bubbles.....cuz I am back to mad reading from the tub again! lol which all boils down to is... I am sure I have gained weight, I reek of cleaning solution and have a terrible case of wrinkled, prunish finger tips.

Until next time.....when ever that might be! lol Why oh why didn't I marry a computer repair man??? lmaooooo....just kidding Jim!!!!!! Ü.... hint! hint! A new computer would be a great Sweetest Day present...dontcha think? Thank you Mr. Hallmark! ;)

Sunday, October 2, 2005

7 questions answered (3rd in series)

My 3rd installment of 7 questions asked and answered.....hmmmmm I see a theme developing here on this one.....most of it has to do with not being as young as I used to be! lmaooooooooo

7 things I can't do:

1) I can no longer hula  hoop......I have lost my groove thing....a moment of silence please.  I used to be able to hula hoop for very long periods of while my hula  goes one hoop goes another......the ground!  :(

2) I can no longer bait my own hook...I used t o never have  a problem with this, but DH made the mistake of putting bait in the fridge for an up coming day of fishing with his son (think night crawlers!) I spend my morning to the  'Big" grocery shopping came home put all my groceries away...ran other errands and attacked a few dust bunnies. I decided to make BLT's for lunch.  Well, a child who shall remain nameless only because no one admitted to it had accidentally spilled something in the fridge, it leaked to the paper bag that held the night crawlers in a Styrofoam container with a very loose lid, the  weight of the liquid on the top of the container, knocked it over, releasing the night by the time I opened the fridge to make BLT's I had about 40 night crawlers everywhere  I looked......including the head of lettuce I just bought......needless to say I can't even look at a worm now without cringing........ughhh!

3) I can't water ski or snow ski......I learned those facts the hard way. Have I ever admitted to being a stubborn Irishwoman?? Most would call it determination......for most it would be determination,  but  I know h ad nothing to do with was pure unadulterated Irish Pride! (lol) I was so determined to not drop that tow rope  that I drank a lot of lake water, lost my bikini bottoms and became so twisted up in the tow rope, that I had severe rope burn in a very unmentionable area. It was so bad that pants and underwear were articles of clothing that I couldn't even look at without shuddering. (Think BIG blisters)......nuff said. Snow skiing.......fugetaboutit!  I couldn't even balance long enough on one ski, to snap my other boot into the second ski.....after 20 minutes of trying, falling over, having small children laugh at me....I headed to the bar.......I sat watching all my friends flying down the hills, while sitting in the lounge by a roaring fire, in front of floor to ceiling windows......soothing my bruised (body and ego), soaked and cold body with hot chocolate laced with peppermint schnapps.

4) I can't do a cartwheel anymore......the thought of a full body cast stops me dead in my track...just thinking about tempting to do one.

5) I can no longer ice skate or roller ankles took a beating when I was younger (OK, I think it might of had something to do with repeatedly jumping off of a bridge, because my friends told me to....true story...I POOR mother right? ) so now I just fall down and go why bother.

6) I can no longer sit on the floor for long periods of time ...... something to do with sciatica and childbirth! lol

7) I can no longer sleep on my stomach.......something to do with smashing the "girls", sciatica and childbirth again! lol lol lol

Tomorrows question will be:

Seven things that attract me to the opposite sex: (Ohhhh Myyyyyy) lol!

Saturday, October 1, 2005

By The Dawns Early Light



7 questions answered (2 in series)

OK, here's my second installment of the 7 question asked and answered.

Seven things I can do:

1) This girl can cook! I don't always want to and many times I just don't.   I can cook just about any style and I only need to see a recipe once, from then on it's tweaked in my own preference of taste and flavor. (I have spent the last 18 or so months on kitchen strike) I hated the habitrail feel of the wheel I was one.....cook, clean, children...blah blah my only trip to the kitchen was to let the dog out the back door, I admit to letting the dust bunnies multiply slowly and my kids are in the stages of life that they have begun to realize they are not an extension of me and their father...they are searching for their own style, thoughts and opinions and I am sometime beaming and sometimes gasping for air as I let them experience their own 'self.'

2) I can be who I am and be comfortable with just being me. I don't have to impress anybody, I worry less about how people think about me and  spend more time on what I think about myself. I know myself well and I'm satisfied with the progress I am making in becoming a better human being. I have spent the last 19 or so years taking care of the needs of my family, so I am being somewhat selfish these days and taking care of my needs....That is one reason I started blogging, it filled the gap I created along time ago when my life was to hectic to think, let alone write like I did before BC  (before children)

3) I can twitch my nose like Samantha Steven's of the 'Bewitched' fame! It took only my whole childhood to perfect this....I was grounded a lot because of being....what else.....A demanding lil chit so I had plenty of time to perfect my craft! lol

4) I can multi task at the speed of light for very long periods of time, (I have changed the minds of a few head Doctors on ones abilty to be manic for months at a time) it is the best part of being manic.......but when I crash and burn,  I BURN! lol I remember when I started therapy (medication and talk therapy) It was the first time I ever heard of the word 'MANIC' They (Doctors) kept telling me this kind of behavior was wrong, I bought into it for awhile......but when they tried to break me of my cycles of mania...I raged against the machine.....therapy did teach me that I had exhibited this kind of behavior all life, but it was such a part of my DNA that stripping it away from me by use of medications threw me into an identity crisis. Since then I  have learned to embrace my manic's who I am, it is how I function. This also meant that I had to embrace the depressed side of this duo. But I learned how to do that in a much healthier manner.

5) I can admit when I am wrong and apologize......even to my children. I figure I am their role model for most of their informative years and if I can teach them things by example, how better for them to admit when they are wrong and apologize for it, then by them watching me do it. You would be surprised how many people can't say these simple words....."I am sorry....I was wrong."

6) I can express myself very well in spoken and written form. There are a lot of people who can't do this and for the people that can we seem 'strange' to those who can't.( I noticed this mostly in people who haven't done the self discovery as of yet, to those of us that have and know ourselves well, come off as strange) That is what I love best about this journaling many times we "get" what the other bloggers are writing about. That doesn't happen much outside of this community unless you find a kindred spirit outside of this place that "gets" you without you having to explain everything you say....<wink> Maw

7) I  make friends fast......I love to engage other people in conversations that they wouldn't have in everyday conversations with new people that they meet. I don't like to see anyone uncomfortable in a new social situation and silence at a gathering people makes me swing into action. This is the part where I probably talk to much, laugh to loud...but  if it makes the others feel more connected to the social situation, then I shall babble on. lol I believe that everybody can find a least one connection to everybody else.

Tomorrow's 7 questions answered will be.......

Seven things I cannot do:

(I can only list seven huh? lol!)

Friday, September 30, 2005

'The Tellings' SOB'S lol

OK, I've been asked to share some of the 'Tellings' (stories passed down from one generation to the next) Some of these will come with a see the Matriarch of the family... is a lil naughty, I can't even repeat some of her tellings in polite society! lol This woman rules over an Irish Clan of 75? Yes, that sounds about right.....7 kids, 18 grandchildren, 26 great grandchildren and 1 great- great grandchild along with various in-laws thrown in for good measure lol

A story passed down from Uncle Steve.........decorated Nam Vet

My Father (being the oldest) and his next in line Brother Emmett were true SOB's....all the Sons of my Irish Grandparents served during the Viet Nam war...all 5 of her sons. Her baby, my Uncle Steve came back haunted and wounded from the ground battles in Viet Nam (Army) He was honorably discharged and sent home unable to walk.

Since his room was on the second floor, he slept on the couch until he regained full use of his legs. There was no air conditioning in that old house near the Taylor Street area of he could hear My Father and my Uncle Emmett stumbling home from the neighborhood bar every night where they both tried to wash away the memories of a bad childhood.

Many a time they snuck up on my Uncle Steve and threw firecrackers at him to watch him dive for cover.....very cruel I know! Or they would wait for him to fall asleep on the couch and scream incoming while they both made slow whistling sounds. Uncle Steve was the only one of her sons to have hand to hand combat in Viet Nam while the others served from a far.

Uncle Steve decided one night to exact his revenge on his menacing two older brothers.......He pretended to be sleeping on his couch/bed waiting for them to do their nightly ritual of having that last cigarette in almost a sleep state in one of the living room chairs. There were plenty of nights my Uncle Steve had to slowly lower himself on the floor and drag himself across the room to extinguish their cigarettes before they burned down the house in their drunken slumber.

This night while he pretended to sleep, they were true to form, lit their smoke and nodded off.....he quietly lowered himself to the floor and crawled across the room to them where he preceded to roll up the bottom cuffs of my Father's socks and then roll down my Father's socks then Uncle Steve scooted back and swung his crutch with all his might, across the shins of my Father...busting open both of father barely moved. Then Uncle Steve rolled the socks back up, rolled the cuffs back down and watched as the blood soaked through them. Then he did the same to my Uncle Emmett.

The next morning both woke up unable to stand on their legs and required stitches. My Uncle never revealed his revenge to them......they just assumed they got their arses kicked at the local bar, or did it to each other on the way home from the bar. Both my Dad and my Uncle Emmett have passed on.......I'm sure they both know everything thing now! lmaoooooooo


I will post more of the 'tellings' from time to will explain sooooo much of who I am! lol

Some of the 7 questions answered (series)

I've been tagged by the 'everything in 7 questions' tag thingy that has been going around......I was tagged a lot, but I kept putting it off and putting it off....writers block, dementia or was it just plain old demented?? it's hell getting old!

So here's my list of 7's....................

Seven Things I plan to do before I die:

Hmmmm, I seem to remember doing a journal entry on this a long time ago...I'm going to peek and see what is still left on that list to do  before I become a glitter and ash mix.......oh bad idea...never go back and read old's much like viewing yourself in pictures.....the cringe factor! lol so I'm winging it! lol

1) Art class......I am hoping there is a latent talent just waiting to spring forth under the guidance of a very patient and loving art teacher. I want to see if I can paint....any medium, I'm not that picky and if I can't paint with some kind of talent I can always go back to finger painting.......right?? lol

2) Hot Air Balloon ride.....they offer them out here in the Midwest, I want to take the sunrise ride with a glass of Mimosa and a basket full of croissants! Hubby and camera in hand of course! lol

3) I hope to have held and know well a great grandbaby or two before  I make a departure of this life and begin my next life....searching for Jim again. I have always felt this deep connection to this man, that I have known and loved him long before I met him.....he thinks I'm nuts, but then again can ya blame him?? lol

4) Vacation across the great pond and stay in an old castle.......hmmmm maybe another link to my past huh? I love the renaissance period, but I'm sure I would of detested the chamber pot! lol

5) Visit all the national monuments and wonders of America ...... I think I would be patient to even take this trip my automobile now ..... I'm mellowing in my old age and the thought of a country wide road trip isn't freaking the hell outta me so much anymore! lol

6) Live alone with just my Jim.......I know for most thisdoesn't compute, but you see we came together with children and then added more to our brood, and plus I still adore him after all this time so of course this would be on my list of 7 things to do before I die.....our children are spaced our first two are 19 and 22...then the stragglers are 13 and it seems we have raised two families over 2 decades and that's alot of peanut butter and jelly sandwiches...let me tell you! lol

7) I want to sit on a huge southern wrap around porch, preferably my own someday and spend  hours upon hours telling the stories of my heritage, that were passed down to me from my paternal grandmother......I want to pass the stories down so the next generations can pass along the 'tellings' We are a raucous, rowdy and sometimes raunchy bunch of Irish men and women and boy are there some good tellings that have been passed from one generation to the next! lol There was this

OK, Tomorrow's installment will be.......

Seven things I can do:

Thursday, September 29, 2005

Weekend Assigment.....Sweet Home Chicago


                       "Blues Brothers"



Although "My kind of town" Chicago doesn't have mountains with incredible vista's or miles and miles of ocean lined beaches one thing is unequivocally true.......we have the best damned food in all of America.....Chicago's style... Pizza the best! Chicago style hot dog....the best! Chicago's Italian beef sandwiches.....the best! Let's not forget Taylor Street Italian Ice on a hot summer night.

It really is a small melting pot of people on it's own....we have whole neighborhoods filled with sights, cultures and foods from all over the world. We have the Magnificent Mile to shop on, several beaches along Lake Michigan and we are fast becoming a mecca for movie industry. We have Second City comedy for which many of the "not ready for prime time players" got their first big break.

Wanna spend the night on the town trying to recapture your lost youth........Rush Street and Division! I spent the better part of my 17-23 years dancing the night away in all the night spots. The neighborhood I grew up had a view of the Sears Tower that always beckoned me to come and play and play I many things that happened in those days, stays in those days....I have a reputation to uphold.....kinda lol!

What I loved most about growing up in the shadow of the "City with big shoulders" was it was only an hour drive in any direction..... north for the farmlands and a legal drinking age of 18 (at that time) or a quick trip to the open fields of Indiana, or the picturesque towns along the east shore of Lake Michigan in the state of Michigan or an hour east to the quaint towns along the Iowa border.....It is a very centralized big city and the options were many with the open roads and a tank of gas!

To read other people's takes on this great town join John Scalzi at Scalzi's Place

WANTED...dead or alive

OK, I am looking for the person responsible for inventing the 'snooze button.' He or she is not my friend! I never had the need to use my snooze button, or to psych myself out by setting the time on my clock 15 minutes ahead of the actual time. My DH husband is guilty on both accounts......Hmmmmm I wonder if any divorce papers state the reason for divorce as over excessive use of the snooze button? lol

This was the hardest thing to adjust to when I married this man of my fairy tale dreams.....the first couple of years I don't remember it bothering me as much, but then again I had 2 babies in under 11 months at that time, so I was already sleep deprived! loll There was a time where I had him agree to placing his alarm clock on the other side of the room, (this worked for years!) that way when the damned thing started beeping, he got up and stayed up! I was able to actually start sleeping through the one and only beeeeeeep!

This is a man who used to have to get up at 2:00 a.m. in the morning for a 3:00 a.m. start, so you see why I didn't appreciate the snooze button. I'm the kind of person who has no worries all day long, but once I am up in the night, I worry about EVERYTHING! 4 hours of sleep a night was taking it's toll on my considering I was spending the last 4 hours of sleeping time worrying. Top that off with dealing with 2 babies and 2 school aged children, a house to run and taking care of my DH 84 year old grandmother who was suffering from Alzheimer's and who was a cancer and stroke survivor and all the doctor visits that entailed I needed my rest!.....Snooze arch enemy for years! Die snooze button die! lol

Well, about 3 years ago, my DH stopped putting the alarm clock on the other side of the room, but by then I was capable of not hearing it go off several times while I slept, I guess I just got used to it. But lately and they say your body changes habits every 7 years, I am no longer able to sleep through all that beep - beeping! lol! LOVE the man, HATE the alarm clock! What's a girl to do?? Lol Well after pleading, poking and begging him to get up for about 20 minutes every morning, I have a confession to make.......I, yes me! have resorted to snapping his boxers! lol Every time his alarm goes beepbeep I pull back with all my might on the elastic waist of his boxers and S..N..A..P! lol

So far this method is working well for me (LOL!)......Life is good again and I am thankful! ;)

Wednesday, September 28, 2005

Doing the tag

I played along with the tag thingy too.....I'm in a bit of a slump creativity wise....I think I usually am at this time of the year. The object of this tag thing is go back into your archives.....all the way back to your 23rd entry, find the 5th sentence and post it.

My 23rd entry was about all the lives that were changed and all the lives that were lost that day on September 11, 2001. My 5th line was as follows..............

"It took living one day at a time to move on with my life, to live it for those that could no longer live theirs."

What a shame it would have been for me to give up and give into the  terror that almost swallowed me whole that day. I thought it shattered my happily ever after attitude, because I thought as long as I was on American soil, I would be safe from what so many people in other countries experience on a daily basis.....fear, terror, war, destruction, ect. Then it hit me....I had to keep living the American dream for all those that no longer could, with that little bit of purpose, I was able to have hope again, able to start living again, instead of being........ one of the walking wounded.

Tuesday, September 27, 2005

Monday Photo Shoot

Your Monday Photo Shoot: Outsourcing Pictures

Your Monday Photo Shoot: Give your camera to a child, friend, spouse or relative and have them shoot some pictures.

Some shots and stories are worth repeating.............


My son and my Husband along with all the other 'men in the family' take a fishing trip down to ReelFoot Lake in Tennessee every year. My son loves the camera almost as much as I do, so every once in a while I give him one of those disposable pictures to take along with him, and I am always awed by the way he views his world.

When they came back from the 'just the guys fishing trip' he couldn't wait to show me this shot.....he said, "That must be what the way to heaven must look like Mom!".......And I guess to a 13 year old boy who loves to spend time with his Dad outdoors, it sure does look like the way to Heaven!

To see more Monday Photo Shots click on John Scalzi's link.......

John Scalzi's Journal

Monday, September 26, 2005

'Weekend Update"

I finally was able to sneak away this past weekend and run off to the ranch for a day. I would love to spend more time out there, but the elder extended family members that actually live on the ranch are so miserable to each other, it makes for an uncomfortable visit. I have Maggie in the house telling me how horrible Jimmy (her Jimmy not my Jimmy) is to her and then I get out in the barn and I have to listen to how horrible of a person Maggie is to Jimmy while I'm held captive in the barn. Talking to each of them whether together or sperate as to this is why most of the family stays away is falling on very old, very deaf ears. They are both set in the their ways.

I have a couple of friends my age that are married and carry on the same way. They don't think how uncomfortable and tiring it is to constantly be subjected to their snipes back and forth to one another. I find this kind of behavior so disrespectful. Jim and I (my Jim) hardly ever fight even though we sometimes have opposite opinions of many things, some times STRONG opinions, But we would never disrespect each other and carry on like that in public. Being around our friends that do put each other through the ringer in public. takes me back to that trapped feeling when I was a child. That awful feeling that I got while listening to my parents fight growing up. Who wants to feel that again right?

While I was at the ranch I made my excuses of really wanting to get out with the horses, my great escape from bickering going on back and forth between Maggie and Jimmy. On the ranch they have quarter horses, miniature horses and shetland ponies and the chickens. I tried to fire off a few rounds with the cameras, but either I didn't have the patience or I had unwilling photo subjects. So I just put down my camera and picked up the pooper scoopers! lol I was only somewhat pleased with one of my photos......chasing the chickens.



Someday I am going to find a horse that fits just right to me and then maybe I will ride more. I'm just to uncomfortable on the wider horses, being 5 foot nothing I don't have that long of a leg reach and I tend to cramp up quickly. Maybe I'm just getting old and rickety! lol! I had a better day camera wise with the yellow butterflies that were swarming around the outside of the barn then I did with the horses. The picture in the previous entry was the end result of chasing butterflies and giving up on chasing down the horses for baths! lol

Sunday was spent at a state park enjoying the dog training and fishing show. My girl friend who is an avid bow hunter was one of the guest speakers, so I came along for moral support. There were puppies for sale there, ( I wanted all of them of course!) They had a baby deer petting zoo, a settlers camp from the 1800s with children's games and animals hides for sale along with beef jerky spiced 1 million ways. Sunday was not a good camera day either and was only happy with one shot by the end of the day. This is one of the tents set up for the weekend in the this ain't no Hilton, so I ain't staying the night! lol


Sunday, September 25, 2005

Friday, September 23, 2005

Sing......sing a song....lalalalla

I'm at odds with myself.......everyone who has ever heard my youngest daughter sing, has either asked for her autograph to save for when she hits it big time and they can sell it on eBay to buy that house they always wanted......or wants to be in her biography on VH1 before they were stars. I was always told it's just a matter of time for someone to hear her and she will be pursued by many a record label.

Well, it kinda has happened and even though I am thrilled for her, I am also afraid for her......"The Industry" is only out for itself and chews up and spits out sweet kids like her all the time. It's a major recording label and they are extremely interested in my 14 year old daughter. I have only agreed on a meeting, I have so many questions.....I want what is best for her....and if turning down a recording contract at the age of 14 is best for her then I am prepared to do it. As soon as I can offer more information on this, you can bet this very proud Momma will be shouting off the roof tops.........I can't even go there in my mind....driving around in traffic and hearing my baby singing to me through the radio........mind blowing huh??

If you are new to my journal you can hear Rachel sing in previous audio entries found in my "other journals" She can sing, pop, rock even flawless soprano..what a gift she has!

Wish us luck!


Thursday, September 22, 2005

Just call me Smokey the Tupperware lady! lol

Last summer on a late afternoon driving to the lake.....I spotted a young man on the side of the road. When I got closer I saw smoke coming from the woods, it was the beginning of a small brush fire......the culprit? a cigarette carelessly tossed or flicked out of a passing vehicle. The young man was trying to call 911 to report this, but had no idea exactly where he was, he was just passing through and it's a fairly secluded road with houses that range in the upper 800K on one side and what is left of forever shrinking wild life preserve on the other side.

I can't tell you how many cars passed without a care....maybe they thought the situation was under control...I am hoping that is the reason. I was running behind joining the rest of my family and friends at the lake because I was home washing, cutting, chopping fresh fruits to make a huge fruit salad and I had thrown it into my largest piece of Tupperware. While I was trying to relay to the young man and 911 just exactly where we were, I flipped my fruit salad off into the bush, at least the animals will benefit from that forced to litter moment and I began my 3rd time in my life as a make shift fire fighter! lol

Here I was, standing in a very large puddle about 30 feet from the area that was now starting to blaze, in my very favorite pair of summer sandals and capris, scooping up water, running into the woods and throwing water on the fire......don't ever under estimate the power of a woman with Tupperware! lol The area grew from just about a 12 inch by 12 inch area to about a 6 foot by 6 foot area in a matter of minutes, but me and my Tupperware bowl were getting the upper hand.......A man in a pick up truck who stopped and said he lived near by was getting a 5 gallon bucket out of his truck and was making his way to the small creek down the road when the fire department finally arrived at the scene. By then it was no longer flaming, just a lil smoke was still coming up from the area around a telephone poll that it spread to.

Did I get a thanks for being such a good citizen? no.....I was yelled at to get away from there before I got hurt! How could I have got hurt with my handy dandy Tupperware bowl there to protect me! lol although my puddle was shrinking! lol The young man with the phone took off when he heard the I stayed behind to give a report, if needed. The man with the pick up truck...stopped by me on his way back to his truck and asked me if I was all right and he thanked me.

By the time I arrived at the lake, my sandals, shirt and capris where ruined, I had mud all over my arms and my legs and my Tupperware bowl was empty except for the drying mud.....Jim just looked at me as I muttered don't even ask! lol Since he knows me well enough and that I don't do anything without a good reason, he didn't push for an answer.

The reason I stated in an above paragraph that it was my 3rd attempt at fire fighting was because, the other two times I had to try and put out a fire when I was much teens.....both times took place in my bedroom, one was with a candle that I forgot to extinguish before falling asleep for the night (this is the reason candles are not allowed in  my kids rooms today) and the other time it was my pajamas with me still in them! yikes! With my bedroom the fire department actually had to come and assist me! lol I also was treated for smoke inhalation as well as my sister who's room was across the hall from mine and with my pajama fire (again my fault playing with a butane lighter while on the phone) was just a flash fire, out as soon as it started but all the loops on my terry cloth jammies were gone, even though the material underneath didn't even have a scorch! I was a very lucky girl!

Wednesday, September 21, 2005

I heard it in a love song.......

Flash Back....... the 80's

Dianne Warren has written many a love song.....many of her songs although recorded by other recording artists make it quickly up the charts. This song was recorded by Taylor Dane of the 80's fame and many times it made me burst into tears during that time (the 80's) before Jim and I were married, during the times we spent more time apart then together. During that time I learned you can't hold onto to someone who is wanting to let go, you have to have faith that in letting go....... love will lead you back.

Saying good-bye is never an easy thing
But you never said, that you'd stay forever
So if you must go
Well, darlin’, I’ll set you free
But I know in time
That we'll be together
Oh, I won't try
To stop you now from leaving
Cause in my heart I know

Love will lead you back
Someday I just know that
Love will lead you back to my arms
Where you belong
I’m sure, sure as stars are shining
One day you will find me again
It won't be long
One of these days
Our love will lead you back

One of these nights
Well I’ll hear your voice again
You're gonna say, oh, how much you miss me
You walked out this door
But someday you'll walk back in
Oh, darling I know
Oh, I know this will be
Sometimes it takes, sometime out on your own now
To find your way back home

(repeat chorus)

But I won't try to stop you now from leaving
Cause in my heart I know...oh yeah

(repeat chorus)

Love will lead you back
Someday I just know that
Love will lead you back to my arms
It won't be long
One of these days
Our love will lead you back

And it did........Ü

Tuesday, September 20, 2005

Summer's Last Burst of Life


kmh 2005

Married life with Jell-o....finale

Flash back to my first year of marriage      (continued)

Click here to go to the first entry of this 2 part series~~~>

Married life with jell-o


My first year is also the time that I had to start fighting fairly more big blows ups over frivolous things and no walking out the door saying over my shoulder "I don't need this!" I had to learn to get my point across then be still enough to allow him the same curtesy and then still make him think I was right!'s a gift! what can I say? lol

It is also the year that I went from a 3 bathroom house to a 1 bathroom house....for most of you that is no big deal, but when you spend the next two years of your life pregnant, getting to the bathroom on time is a very big deal! When we finally did buy "our house to raise the kids in" I made sure we were back to a 3 bathroom house.......6 people, one do the math.....bathrooms are a very big deal! lol
And spending most of our first  year of marriage pregnant was not so wonderful, I didn't have morning sickness........I had morning, noon and night sickness...another reason more than one bathroom was not considered a luxury it was considered a necessity! The smell of everything made me run for the porcelain pot! lol I had lost almost 20 pounds my first 5 months of pregnancy.....that is not a good thing to do when were only 115 pounds to begin with and you were supposed to be putting on weight! But no worries.......I soon made up for what I lost and then some! lol

Doing everything my way from when I was a single pregnant woman and Mom with my first daughter and then having to now do everything as a couple was a small challenge for me too. I had very different ideas about everything from running my home and raising the kids, even trying to come up with baby names we both could agree on was difficult. As a single pregnant woman with my first child I didn't have to worry about that and even though it was so sweet to finally be doing life the way it was supposed to be done instead of relying on my own improvisational skills, I found it kinda frustrating too that I had conform to being a wife now. I couldn't come and go as I have to be more courteous when you are married if you want that in return.

This first year I continued to work even though I didn't have the need to anymore, but I had a difficult time giving up my "own" income. By this time I was working for a national Real Estate firm as a Relocation Director and I wasn't sure I wanted to be a stay at home Mom. I was lucky enough to spend my first daughters entire year at home with her, then it was back into the work force. It wasn't until I conceived another child (the 4th to the mix) just shortly after our one year anniversary that decided to be that stay at home Mom.

That first year of marriage was life changing for sure, we had to learn how to balance each other out, plus parent the two kids we both brought into the marriage while making room for "Our" first child together. we had many obstacles to over come, but when you 'want' to be with someone....nothing can keep you from over coming them......not even the first wife! ;) lol

Monday, September 19, 2005

Barnstorming..... finale


kmh 2005

Barnstorming (2) in series



kmh 2005

Barnstorming! lol (1)


KMH 2005


There is an old farmstead that is one of my most favorite places to visit, I like to visit it at different times of the day for shadow effects and different times of the year for the effects that the seasons have on it. This is the peek of the big red barn......I will be posting different pictures and from different angles............. It really is a beauty!

A student of human behavior

I am a perpetual student of human behavior.......I can't help it, it's my nature. Sometimes I am happy and over joyed with what I witness and sometimes I am just appalled. can loose it faster than your virginity and it will be as long gone as what is left of Jimmy Hoffa.

Respect is not something someone can take away from you, it is only driven away by your own deeds. It doesn't matter how smart you are, how well liked you are or how good looking you are, do something mean and spiteful and you loose all's a terrible thing to waste.

It saddens me to see and meet people with such potential to be great or to make a difference in their world, then they do something that is just "so wrong" that no matter how brilliant they are, or how many things that they might of done good in their past, it is instantly erased when you loose the respect and credibility of your peers.  I know everybody has a bad day now and then, but....... how many bad days are you allowed before you or everyone else has realizes it's not the situation it is the person in the situation? Credibility is also quickly lost. And I don't know if this is a good thing or a bad thing, but a person that habitually causes harm instead of good, no longer has a place in my life. With love, trust is most important, but with humanity I think respect is.

I seem to be off in a tirade over something that has nothing to do with me, but obviously I felt passionate enough to journal about it, I think because this kind of adult behavior shocks me the most. I wonder how many people would cringe, and I mean just CRINGE if they ever saw a video tape of some of their behavior. Or how embarrassed they would be, if they witnessed their own child behaving in such a manner. We tell our kids to not sink to the level of their tormentors and bullies, but I have witnesses many parents do just that.....What is up with that? Sometimes all it takes is to see one person treating another person badly and it's a wake up call to me to 'Check myself' and my own behavior towards other people.

What I am not including in this is.... the younger generations, we all know that is the time bad judgment is often the culprit and at that time in a young persons life, IS the time to make mistakes and learn from them, but with the 30 something and older crowd, their time for bad choices should be few and far between. Maybe I just don't get it......maybe I am vastly different from my peers. I don't believe in deliberately going out and harming someone, mentally or physically just to make myself feel better. I would much rather do the work on myself in improving who I am then going around deliberately looking for faults in other peoples lives. I only comment on things that I have already addressed and fixed in my own personal growth.

Even as an adult I run across child "Bullies" who masquerade as adults and I wonder, what evil happened in their own upbringing that brought out the beast in them? That is truly my first is only after they have trespassed against me so to speak, more than a couple of times, that I begin to stop pitying them and start ignoring them. I am not perfect.... sometimes I bite back, but it takes a lot to make do that......unless your messing with one of my kids of course.

It is easy to ignore mean, bitter people.........if they mean 'nothing' to me or my life, then their opinion of me means...... even less. They didn't make me and they certainly can't break me.....I am the only one who can take down myself and I try to live my life by doing nothing today that I might have to apologize for tomorrow. And for God sakes better examples for you children! For one day you will get that wake up call and wonder what the hell happened!

Friday, September 16, 2005

Married life with Jello! lol

I have been experiencing severe writers block, I think I go through this at this time of the year, summer is over, kids are back in school and I have time to myself to go completely blank, I haven't been able to write and I haven't had the urge to touch my camera. I do things in cycles, this I learned about myself over the last few years. I've been bored and restless and I can't figure out what is coming next in my cycles....although I have been reading a lot again.

When I have writers block I am usually able to go to the boards and read other journals and get at least some inspiration, but I have been coming up empty on that.....until today. Kasey at The return of Kasey palooza  (<~~   link) blogged about a guacamole fight her and her boyfriend had at home over a game of scrabble, it triggered memories from my first year of marriage and one hell of a Jell-O fight! lol So I thought I would share of few memories of my year as a newlywed.

8/8/90 - 8/8/91     (flash back)

After the shock of finally being able to actually marry the man of my fairy tale dreams, this first few weeks were actually awkward! lol We had spent so much of our 4 and a half years coming and going in and out of each others lives that just staying at his house for more than a week felt funny. I felt many times like OK, it's late I should be weird was that! Many times I actually said, "I had to go home" and he would have to remind me that I was home! lol And I would reply "Oh yeah!" lol.... Now I wasn't all innocent and green, I had lived with Danny for a few years.......but being married was different....being married was wonderful!

Little did I know that I conceived our first child in the same month we were married.....for those that are sitting there doing the math.....she came almost 10 months after we were married....I know, his Mother pointed that out to me! lol This was also the year that Jim started the adoption proceedingswith my Daughter Amanda...she was 4 years old and he had been in our lives since she was just 9 weeks old. This definitely was a year of change and I loved it!

This is where our own food fight kicked in.....I craved Jello when I was pregnant with Rachel....all colors-all flavors, some in pretty parfaits some right out of the mold....but I always had Jell-O in the fridge, big bowls of it! I still don't know how the food fight started but there was jello everywhere! On the kitchen ceiling fan, being whirled to every adjoining room, on the dog, on the 4 year old Amanda, who by the way the dog was licking it off of. It was in my hair, my ears, my ugly maternity bra! lol It was down Jim's pants and shirt we were..... a delicious mess!   And who knew right after our One year anniversary came that we would have conceived yet another child....something about the loss of inhibitions under the Kentucky Moon on horseback and a mason jar of white lightening! lol....Both of our last two kids were conceived while visiting his family in Kentucky......Oops my bad! lol....You have no idea how glad I am that my In-laws don't have access to the Internet and my blog! lol

Well, this entry is getting longer than I anticipated so guess what?
Yup....continued! lol