Wednesday, May 31, 2006

100 things....the next 25

The next 25............

I'm not fond of green vegetables, zucchini, lettuce and cucumbers is about it for me!
I don't eat fish or wild game but I am married to the great outdoors man!
After 20 something years with my Husband I am still a mystery to him and I like it like that! lol

Science was my favorite subject in school
I am terrible at all sports.......last one picked to do anything! lol But I throw a mean Frisbee! lol lol lol
I love the smell of rain.........wet bricks, wet pavement, love it!

I am too stubborn for my own good

I don't share chocolate......with anyone! My Bad! lol

I don't like open too many scary movies where the person is trying to get away and a hand comes out and grabs the ankle.....scares the be jeebies out of me every time!

I can watch any spooky movie with the sound turned off.....once the music starts to's the mute button for me! lol lol lol

My favorite ice cream flavor is chocolate (go figure) and peanut butter

When I was pregnant I craved slices of bologna filled with whipped cream

Peanut butter and jelly sandwiches are still my favorite comfort food

I once jumped off of a bridge because my friend dared me too.........sorry Mom! lol lol lol can you say ER?

I haven't worn a dress in 10 years

My favorite meal of the day is BREAKFAST!! lol

I am totally captivated with thunderstorms.......I want to see it, hear it and feel the thunder!

I collect Black Amethyst Glass

I couldn't imagine not having a dog......I've had several in my life since I was 7 years old!

I would rather see a spider run across the floor than a centipede!

When my walls go up , they are up for a very long time!

I'm not very good at taking my meds.....I skip alot!

I don't have a green thumb!

I very rarely hold anything back

If I could, I would slow dance the rest of my life

100 things....(in 25 increments that is! lol)

100 things ( in 25 increments) you might not know about me.....1-25
I am petrified of bears....I can love them at the zoo but in the wild I would fall over dead immediately!

I never leave the house with chipped nail polish.....I'll leave without my hair done and without make up, but my nail polish can not be chipped (Would love to know what Freud would of thought about that! lol)

I have my nose pierced

I have a tattoo

I have a potty mouth ( I wish I could say it ain't so but it is! I am working on curbing this bad habit)

I quit smoking cigarettes cold turkey 21 years ago (best gift I ever gave myself!)

At the grocery store all like items purchased have to be put together on the check out conveyor belt (Another Freudian reason as to way would be greatly appreciated)

Money in my wallet is all facing the same way in the correct denomination order

Every once in awhile you can pick up on a strange dialect from my early years in Boston, England and the Texas.......It's a wonder anyone knew what the hell I was talking about! lol

I use music to set my every mood

I know I have several personalities living inside my head and we all seem to get along very well! lol lol lol

I prefer water over all beverages unless is Girlz Night Out! ;)

I knew I was going to marry my Husband Jim the very first time I saw him 25 years ago........I love him truly! madly! deeply!

My shoes and purse have to match my outfit! needless to say Imelda Marco's ain't got nothing on me! lol

I am drawn to water, I feel most content when I am near water...maybe it's the Aquarian in me who knows!

I am the baby in my family hence the screen name of Demandnlilchit!

I was told I looked like "trouble" all my life!

I wish I was taller......I'm 5 foot nothing, but on a good 1980's day and a can of aqua net I could get to be about 5'7!

If I could change one thing with cosmetic surgery it would be my nose....hate it! lol

My favorite color is that color gold the sky turns right before the sun sets which is also the color of the full moon when it sits low in the sky.

People either love me or hate me


I suffer from seizures and migraines, the migraines are so bad they effect my heart and my short term memory at times.


I used to be petrified of birds


I wish I had more patience with everything!


I do everything in, write and photography,cooking, shopping..... everything! I can go  days, weeks even months without doing them then it's as if I just discovered a love for it and throw myself into it for long periods of time.

Old Photographs....


Ok! Now that I know what my Father would have looked like in drag!!!!! Oh! The Nighmares this is gonna give me! lolThis is a photograph of my Great Grandmother Cavanaugh and this is the very first time I have ever seen a picture of her.

When my Father was alive one of his favorite sayings was, "Why wasn't I born rich instead of soooooo good looking?" Well, you can't say he didn't have a great sense of humor!!! lol lol lol

I'm thinking it's a good thing I take after my Mother's side of the family!!!! :) My Grandma Annie the one I share "the tellings" from always said to me, "You might look just like your Mother but you are your Fathers Daughter!!!" And no truer words have been spoken!!!

Tuesday, May 30, 2006

Weekend recap

kmh 2006

"The Bon Fire"

All in all it was a great weekend! Saturday was a lil to hot for my liking but the kids and a few adults cooled off at the beach and I found some relief under the pavilion. I lost my Queen of the Egg Toss to my Sister Kelly Saturday at the lake and was scheduled for a rematch at the Fish Fry on Sunday but an afternoon thunderstorm cancelled the rematch. I love a good thunderstorm and it was a welcome drop in temperature too!

I'm looking forward to my last quiet week at home, then schools out for the summer.......I need a few days to recoop fromt he busy weekend then it starts all over again friday night! I'll post a few of the photos that I did take mostly of Mother Nature, over at my photo blog.......... Photographic Memory

Sunday, May 28, 2006

Rolling on the rivvvvver! lol

We had a blast yesterday out on the river......good friends, good food and rolling on the river! I didn't tube or water ski, considering the first and last time I tried water skiing, I ended up with rope burn in a very delicate part of my anatomy (once again) Stubborn Irish women and attempts at water skiing don't mix very well, they say if you don't get up on the skis in this first few seconds to drop the rope, well I was bound and determined to get up on the skis and ended up, water logged, half drowned and suffering from the rope burn, somehow I got twisted up in the rope and went the next 100 yards under water. So needless to say I don't water ski, I just cruised the waters safely from the inside of the boats! lol

The kids tubed and had fun water skiing, they're young the recover from the bumps and bruises more quickly! lol

kmh 2006

Here are some of the husbands....we don't rough it to bad out on the river, notice the satellite dish off to the right! they must have sports channel! lol lol lol  My Dh is the one with the black shirt and jeans.


This is actually one of the Dads out tubing, I'm sure he's going to be a lil sore today! Well, I'm off to get ready to spend a day at the lake's going to be our annual Memorial Day BBQ......horseshoes, bean bag games, egg toss! Your looking at last years egg toss champion! lol lol lol.......hey we won $50 bucks last year!

kmh 2006

I'll post a few picks of today's fun tomorrow morning....then it will be back to the lake for the fish fry and bon fire.........gotta love summertime!

Saturday, May 27, 2006

Busy Weekend!

Oh Yes! Summertime is upon us! The one thing that I do love about living in the Midwest is all seasons are visual. We have heat and green all summer long and just when I am getting sick of all the heat, we have a beautiful sometimes warm/sometimes cool autumn with the changing colors of the trees, and when I'm getting ready to get into my hibernation stage we get cold and snowy days which makes hibernation easy to deal with and then just when I've had enough of cold and snow, spring comes along, with its warm and sunny days, a few thunderstorms thrown in ( I love thunderstorms!) and all the new colors of spring emerge. I often wonder if I ever moved to another climate would I miss the changing of the seasons?

Memorial Weekend always kicks off summer with a bang! Last night the family along with other friends and families went to the stock car races. I don't enjoy them very much, but Jim and my Son do so I go along to to watch them enjoy themselves. Today everyone is getting together and going boating out on the river about an hour away from me, I couldn't tell you the name of the river, I just show up and have fun (DH just informed me it's the Illinois River). Tomorrow we are having a our Memorial Day BBQ party out at the lake and the beach was officially opened last weekend and then Monday is a bon fire and fish fry at the lake! So right now I'm thinking Tuesday is gonna be a jammie day, a stay home and recover from a very long weekend!

Hopefully I will get a few good photo's to post on my blog later! I had my camera last night but didn't take one shot........did I mention that they had funnel cakes at the races?? I LOVE FUNNEL CAKES!!!!! lol lol lol

Don't forget to honor our Vets this weekend and say a little prayer for those men and women who fight to let freedom ring and give a lil prayer to their families who keep the homefires burning while they are off defending this great nation!

Have you thanked a Vet today??  Thanks Mom!!!!!!!

Friday, May 26, 2006

2nd Wives Club (Finale)

What I forgot to put in the last entry was when were all trying to explain what was going on the cops that morning, the 1st wife kept saying "My Husband this" "My husband that" so I had heard all I wanted to hear and I also wanted the cops to know that there were in the middle of a nasty divorce and that is when she turned to me and said, "Divorce? We're not getting a divorce!" for a moment my world fell apart. That is when she informed Jim that she stopped all divorce proceedings 2 months ago!!!! Since she was the one who filed she could rescind at anytime....he of course did not know, he was never notified and neither was his attorney.That following Monday he petitioned the court for a divorce himself.....this was yet another one of the reasons the divorce took forever.

A couple of weeks after she was finally served divorce papers. Jim has spent the night at my apartment. When he went to leave my place the next morning he's brakes mysteriously weren't working, we didn't have any suspicion yet, it wasn't until the next night while his GTO was parked outside of my apartment while his other car was being fixed that the brakes of the GTO were also sliced. This wasn't petty stuff anymore.........not only was Jim and I at risk so were our children....we all drove in those cars! Even her own daughter could of got hurt, now you tell me would you find all this easy to get over? Just forgive and forget? I didn't think so!

She attacked my Mother, she tried to run Jim over with her car, she slandered my name all over the place, she referred to my child as the 'Bastard' child who was only 9 weeks old when I started dating Jim, she either tampered with the brakes of 2 cars or had someone tamper with them.....this wasn't your normal 1st wife, 2nd wife problems.

This is the woman who when she found out that Jim and I finally married 6 months after their divorce was final, called the house screeching as to why wasn't she told we were getting married? I told her "I didn't know I had to clear my wedding with her!" and when she called us a couple of years later to tell us that she was getting remarried I told her that I was happy for her, that we truly wanted her to be happy, that maybe if she was happy  she would leave us to be happy too. That lasted only a year or so, then she started things up again and has repeatedly lied to her 2nd husband to make sure things stayed "stirred."She has him believing that Her and I used to be best friends since high school and that one day she came home from work early to find me in bed with her husband!!!! (1) We were never friends (2) we didn't go to High School together(She's 2 year older than me anyway) and (3) I didn't even start seeing Jim until 10 months after she filed for divorce. She neglected to inform DH#2 that it was She, that was caught cheating on Jim. In the begining we thought either she hid that freakish side of her real well from the DH#2 or he was just as insane as she is.........he's just as insane! lol

This is the woman who was so engulfed in jealousy that when I gave birth to our last child, who finally was a boy, she left a message on our recorder while I was still in the hospital re cooperating from having him and then having my tubes tied. Her message was something like this," Congratulations Jim, you finally got the F***ing boy you always wanted! I hope your happy!"

This is a woman who went through 4 attorney's before her divorce was finally because she repeatedly lied to them and the judge was getting angrier and angrier when they weren't able to prove anything because all the information she gave them to go on were lies.

This is the woman who had remarried and just given birth to their child but called me crying on the phone that she still loved Jim and that she now knows that she was the reason that the marriage failed that of she could just spent sometime with him and Melissa alone to make up for it...........yes, you are hearing me right, she was asking me if she could spend time alone with my husband and make it all up to him.............scuuuuze me? This is not a time share! you got him, I get him, you get him back again.

This is a woman who called my home to talk to Melissa and unbeknownst to her my recorder had recorded her entire conversation because Melissa forgot to hit the stop button when she answered the phone and the poison that came out of her mouth toward me and my babies, which she denied over and over again until I played the recording back to her. On that recording she attacked my children, calling my oldest a fat little bimbo (she was maybe 10 at the time) calling my son a beast (who was and/is a beast at times but he's my beast and I am the only one who gets to call him that!) All this is said to her 13 year old daughter who loves me  her M.O.M (My Other Mother)  and her siblings very much. This is where she told Melissa that she was there long before me and will be there long after we are gone! Like I'm going somewhere! lol

These are all but a few of the things that I have had to put up with for the last 20 something years, why? Because I love Jim and Melissa very much. There was a time about 7 years ago where she extended the 'olive branch'to me. Everyone tried to warn me not to trust her, but for the sake of Melissa I did, even Jim warned me not to trust her. In the end her true colors showed, she again tried to hurt me and my chidlren. That was the only thing about her that was predictable, give her enough rope and she always hung herself. I hadn't spoke to her since then, I told her to never call my home phone again, that if she needed to talk to Jim about Melissa then she was to call his cell phone, but never, ever call my house again and speak to me or one of my children!

So know for her to call me after all these years and serious incidents and ask that we all be able to but the past behind us, seems insane!.....I guess it's easier for her, Jim and I didn't do one damn thing to was all brought on by her. I can and have always been able handle what life threw my way, but when you attack my Mother and my Children and put the safety of my Children at risk (cut brake lines) those are a few things that are unforgivable!

No....I'm sorry I can not put all this past me, I don't have to! forgive what she did? Never! Forget what she did? Never! Ignore her the rest of my life? That I could do!

What I told Melissa through all this is, I will not be responsible for ruining her wedding, I will be one my best behavior, I love her and this is an important day in her life, but I did warn her that I will not sit back and let either her birth mother or her future SIL ruin this day for her either. They can duke it out all they want, but they better not upset Melissa in the process.......cuz that is when they will be dealing with me! ;)

Loving Jim came at a cost, a huge cost but he is well worth it! Oh yes, Jamaica ought to be very interesting! lol lol lol

2nd Wives Club (8)

Well, I guess because of the other incidents involving the other 2 women Jim had dated before me, the 1st Wife thought I would high tail it and run.........WRONG! So far the other incidents didn't happen when I was around. The first visit to my Mothers door, I slept through, I was not present when she then continued her early morning visit over to Jim's house the same night. But this time, I was there and I had a few things I wanted to make perfectly clear to her now too!

What struck me as funny when I finally got to the front door of my Mothers house that Saturday morning was here is his bad ass 1st wife  was actually flinching from my Mother's wrath. I literally had to hold my Mother back, actually we both took turns holding each other back, at the end of the day both of our arms had bruising due to holding each other back! LOL The first thing out of my mouth when I saw her and heard what she was saying to my Mother was, " I've been waiting for this moment a long time!" I went after her, she took off down the porch steps again. This is when I noticed Melissa was sitting in her car (1st wives) parked at the curb. I called Jim and he was there in under 3 minutes. He didn't live far, we were neighbors.

During the ensuing argument that was taking place for all the neighbors to see which by the way of course had everyone deciding that they had to sweep their porches, or rake there grass or check their mail boxes while all this was going on....everybody loves a good public display family dysfunction as long as it's not their family! lol

That's when I saw Melissa getting out of the car and trying to make a mad dash to me when her Mother grabbed her by the hair and told her that she was never going to that "whore's house" again where as Jim in his least notable behavior grabbed Melissa by the arm and they actually started a tug-o-war with this poor innocent child, I had enough........I called the cops! This had to stop immediately....Melissa was scared and crying. Thank God this now grown adult ( Who was 4 when this happened) has no memory of that day!

Cops came and were about to cuff Jim when I went off on them......I  am the one that called the police, Jim was at my home because I requested he be there, she was the one trespassing and causing a disturbance, so they let me explain what was happening and they still weren't sure what to do in all this mess until they asked to see thechild and the high chair.......Hmmmm! high chair and 4 year old child...the 1st wife kept referring to Melissa as "My baby needs her high chair" when Melissa was asked to step out of the car and give her age, they saw that she was not a baby in need of a high chair and let Jim go. They now dealt with the 1st wife as if she is crazy (well no duh!) and when this was finally over I went and got the damn high chair and gave it to her....I'll buy my own damn high chair thank you very much!

Did you know anyone could stand on the public sidewalk of your home and yell and scream all they want because that is public property? But if it snowed and you shoveled said public property and they fell and got hurt they could sue you?? Crazy I know! They way not to get sued is to not shovel then it's considerd an act of nature.......I had an act of nature I'd like to show her! lol lol lol

All was quiet for another week or so.

2nd Wives Club (7)

The next big "Incident" didn't take place until the following summer, there was a lot of lil things that happened, but easily forgettable and without much annoyance..until the "High Chair" incident! lol

Jim's Mother had bought a fairly expensive high chair for Melissa when she was around a year old, being that the child was 3 and a half when the 1st wife moved out of the house, she left the high chair stored in their basement. When the time came for my daughter to need a high chair Jim graciously let me borrow Melissa's old one. Some how the 1st wife had a problem with me using the high chair, I'm sure she found out innocently through Melissa who was now 4.5 years old, that I had the high chair. So this starts her trip back to my Mothers house, the house she didn't remember coming to drunk, and didn't remember my Mother's fair warning......Gotta love my Mother! She had 3 rules for people.....Don't mess with her money, don't mess with her dog and never, ever mess with her kids! lol lol lol

Picture a beautiful sunny Saturday morning, early summer. I had just returned to my apartment from spending the night at Jim's my cousin had spent the night at my house to baby sit my daughter, it was a planned over night stay at Jim's it was our 1 year dating anniversary. The night before we had gone out for a formal dinner, then went dancing then back to his place. Since I didn't pack an over night bag and I didn't feel like going home in my dress and high heels from the night before.......I made the drive home in Jim's flannel, Jim's socks, Jim's underwear (lol!) and a pair of his sweat pants. No sooner did I get home and start taking off the sweats to grab a quick shower that I heard my Mothers front door bell ring............the dreaded door bell! lol lol lol

My Mother opens her door and finds the 1st wife standing there yet again, the 1st wife still apparently has no idea I have an apartment with my own entrance. My Mother says, "Look! I told you before whatever problems you think you might have with Jim, you were not to bring them to my front door" Now of course 1st wife has no idea what my Mother is talking about, so when my Mother closes the front door in her face she yelled, "BITCH!" to my mother through the front door. Even in my apartment, I could hear what she said and was now on my way up to my Mothers place to let loose some of my own pent up aggression......mind you all while I was still partially dressed in Jim clothes. On my way up the back stairs I hear my Mother's front door open again and here my Mother flying out of it and the 1st Wife flying down the front steps!

My Mother can handle her business, I tell ya! lol lol lol

2nd Wives Club (6)

A mentioned before I was a child of divorce. My Parents may not have had a perfect marriage, but they did love each other, it was that they just couldn't live together anymore. Their divorced was handled with my Brother, my Sister and my best interest at heart. There wasn't any trash talking, there wasn't any he said/she said, there wasn't any putting the children in the middle. My father signed over the house to my Mother as to not interrupt our childhood any further. We were already loosing our Father, there was no need to loose our house, our friends, our school and the security we had living there. He agreed to pay a good amount of child support (but always failed to do so.........another day, another story perhaps) they put their children first during the divorce. Jim paid child support on time! Everytime!  He spent as much time with Melissa as the 1st Wife would allow, He took custody when even the 1st Wife thought it was best for Melissa, that was probably the first time that the 1st wife put what was best for Melissa during the whole 4 and half years in the court system trying to get a divorce......Yup, their divorce took 4.5 years!

Because of all this, I wanted Melissa well being put before every adult, Jim and I lived up to that. We never talked bad about her Mother in front of her, we never laid guilt on that child for loving and caring and openly talking about her feeling toward her Mother. On the other hand her Mother never missed an opportunity to do any of this. Melissa carried a lot of weight on her little shoulders, she learned quickly at a very early age what she could say in front of her Mother and what would make her Mother explode and then take it all out on Melissa. I'm talking about a 3 year old girl, having the intuition to sensor herself and to withhold emotion, she wasn't allowed to be happy when she was with us, if she showed that she was happy when returning from a weekend at her Fathers, she was punished or given the silence treatment for days. Talk about taking away a childhood innocence.........Now the Woman wants to put this all behind us? For Melissa's sake? To this day Melissa still has to sensor herself around her Mother or deal with the consequences.

Still more "Incidents" to come folks, that was only the first year! lol Jim and I have been together over 20! For the sake of spending the next month of my life chronologically putting in order EVERTHING that happened I will be doing some normal entries on the doosies and lumping some others in little blurbs.

Thursday, May 25, 2006

2nd wives Club (5)

This series all began because "our" oldest Daughter (the Daughter of Jim's 1st marriage who I love like one of my own and who I helped raiseis getting married soon, in order to understand where we are, I had to start from how we got read from the begining click this link  ~~~>>> 1st wife vs 2nd Wife


Jim was fast learning to dread the sound of the door bell in the middle of the night, he always knew who it was going to be and that the night was going to end badly..........this night was no exception.

After leaving my house she drove over to his and starting ringing the bell, pounding on the door and screeching at the top of her lungs, Jim opened the door just quiet her down, the neighbors already had enough gossip to last a life time. She wanted to talk, she wanted Jim, she wanted to move back into the house as if nothing ever happened. He calmly told her it was over, there was no going back. That is not what she wanted to hear, she immediately turned to slamming me and blaming me for the break up of their marriage. (20 years later it's still her story and she's sticking to it, even though I didn't come into the picture until 10 months after SHE filed for divorce.....TWISTED! I tell ya!)

She started screaming that Melissa needed a Daddy and that he wasn't the father of "That sluts baby" (Just incase you didn't figure it out, she was referring to me as the slut and my infant daughter as the baby!lol) He said, "You should of thought about that before you wanted to have fun in the front seat with another man, then filed divorce and don't ever speak about Kim that way again!" (I told you he was honorable!lol) This is the part that he turned his back on her to enter his home and she jumped him........he peeled her off his back and tossed her into the evergreen (The visual today still makes me lol!) He quietly went back into the house.

A few minutes passed before she crawled out of the evergreen and while he watched her from the window, she went to the trunk of her car and retrieved her bowling ball and was trying to throw it through the 10 x 5 foot picture window all the while screaming like a lunatic! Jim was out the door again in a flash and took the bowling ball away from her and out it inside the front door of the house. He put her back in the front seat of her car and told her to leave or he was going to call the cops (yet again) While he was standing in between the opened door of the drivers side of the car she threw the car in reverse and dragged him down the driveway.......when he finally hit the pavement she tried to back up and run over him, he rolled out of the way and that was the last he saw her that night.

She went home and slit her wrists, this all came up in the custody hearing, because she worked for a hospital and she was living with her best friend whose Father was the head of Obstetrics and she worked in the ER herself, they did not file a police report. They are required to file a police report at every suicide attempt, they didn't. Her mistake was claiming it on the insurance he still carried on her until the divorce was final. He got the bill for "sutures on her wrist."

Now you tell me........was this for Melissa's sake?


I'm a telling you Wisteria Lane (Desperate Housewives) ain't got nothing on me! lol lol lol

2nd Wives Club (4)

The next 'incident' with the DH's 1st wife took place on a week night very early in the a.m. Apparently she was unaware that I had my own apartment inside the house I grew up in, so when she had a snoot full one night she came to the front door on my Mother's house ( Now mind you this woman my Mom, is the woman I get my feistiness from, she would never do anything to embarrass herself, but this woman can always handle her business! lol)

Jim and I had spent the day and evening together and he left my apartment around 11:00 a.m. Unaware to me around 12:30 a.m. my Moms front door rang, and even though she had never seen Jim's 1st wife she had no problem figuring out who the intoxicated woman standing at her front door was. The conversation went something like this.......

1st wife - "I'm looking for my Husband"
My Mom  - "Did you check his house because it's late and he's not here?"
1st Wife - "Errr, No I thought I would find him here"
My Mom - "Well he's not and let's get something very clear right now, whatever problems you might think you have with Jim, don't  bring them to my door ever again"

1st wife leaves without saying another word, we find out later she had no idea that she even came to my house, she was that intoxicated. Little did I know her night did not end there. Did she heed my Mother's advice about not coming to her door ever again.........nope! She was too drunk to know she even came to my house that night, but she was warned and whatever happens after that, was all on her!

After not finding Jim at my place she went looking for him, let's just say her night included a bowling ball, a picture window, a trip to the "bush club" well more like a landing in a 25 foot evergreen, she could of ended up in jail for attempted murder too! She did end up in the ER though.............completely her doing!

Don't touch that dial folks, we'll be right back after these few important messages! lol lol lol

Wednesday, May 24, 2006

2nd wives Club (3)

Ok, my first "Incident" with the 1st wife didn't happen until we were dating a few weeks. Well, I think we were beyond dating, we were inseperable from our very first date, it wasn't until years later that a day finally passed that we didn't see each other.

We had gone out for dinner then back to his house to relax and spend some "kid free" time. The night was half way through when the front door rang, since Jim wasn't expecting anyone, he looked out the front window first and saw her car at the end of the drive way. Up until this point he hadn't shared anything about how nasty things had become between the two of them, I didn't know about her violence toward the other women he had dated and I hadn't known about all the crazy things that happened and the police had to be called to remove her from the property, in hind sight he wishes he would of said something earlier about it to me. I wouldn't have had to sit, hidden in another room while she searched the kitchen cabinets looking for a teady bear cake pan that she just had to have for their daughters upcoming birthday.......the problem was it was only June and their daughters birthday wasn't until Novemeber. It was just a ruse to come into the house.

So here I was, sitting on the edge of the bed in the guest room, in the dark, listening to her go on and on about finding the cake pan, and Jim trying to help her and I could tell there was a change in his voice. The whole time my imagination is getting the best of me and the only reason I could come up with as to why I would of been hidden away was maybe he was trying to keep things open with his 1st wife, a way back in if he chose......well, at least that is what my "trust no one" mind was telling me. One more minute of this ridiculous behavior and I am outta there and come what may on what would of/could of happened! (Think of the movie Dirty Dancing) No one puts baby in the corner! lol lol lol

She finds the baking pan, tries to make idle conversation with him but he just talks her right out the front door. Now as I am fleeing the BS we run into each other in the hallway.......I am pissed, he is remorseful and things are about to explode between the two of us. I told him I will give you 1 minute to explain to me why I was treated like the mistress he didn't want discovered and then I was gone, I didn't need this kind of Bs in my life, I was a grown woman with an infant child of my own, Ihad a daughter and a wounded heart to protect.

In the end he told me about her behavior with the other 2 women he dated before dating me and the last thing he wanted was for her to chase me off, this was also the first time he told me that he loved me and that he didn't want to loose me and that what he did was for my own protection. He brought me up to speed on what dating him was going to be like until either she moved on or fell off the face of the earth. He hoped I cared about him enough to stick around, we had something special and he not only knew it he felt it too.... for years it was looking like it was going to go on until she fell off the face of the earth. Once she did find out about me life changed as I knew it. But little did she know that I came from fiesty stock myself! ;)

Round Robin Challenge.....Reflection

Hi, Robins!  Cheryl, a.k.a. BoiseLadie, of the blogs Welcome to My World and Life Through My Lens, has given us a topic that's both simple and profound: "Reflections!"

So, Robins, it's time to reflect on what kind of reflections are most meaningful for you, and how best to reflect them through your camera's lens. Take your photos, and get ready to post them on Wednesday, May 24th, any time between midnight and midnight. If you need to do so, you can post up to a week late, but please do not post early. It all works best if we all post on the same day, give or take a few hours. This makes it much easier for everyone to go blog-jogging, and see what everyone has done!

This is my entry into the challenge, It's a lake shot taken of some water flowers (probably weeds! lol) while my Son was standing opposite of me out on the pier doing a lil fishing in the early morning hours. You can see his reflection in the water upside down. I love everything about this photo! It has my boy, it has water, it has nature and it has shadow and light! To check out more please visit the Round Robin Journal and visit the links provided to other fabulous photo's!


kmh 2005

2nd Wives Club (2)

Now, since I was a child of divorce myself I knew exactly what was the right thing to do for the innocent children involved and the wrong thing to do when innocent children are involved. As much as I loved Jim, Melissa was to be protected and loved at all costs........I married an honorable man, those were his intentions also. There was only one time where it wasn't his most shining moment and I will call him out on it later on in an entry about all of this.

Just a few facts before I get started - She wanted the divorce, she filed for it, she wanted to have 'fun' again, he finally agreed after finding her parked down the end of their block after a late night out with her girlfriends having 'fun' in the front seat of their car with someone who was not her husband or a girlfriend. She filed in June of 1985 and neither of them would move out........(think war of the roses) she finally vacated the home in November of 1985. The smartest thing they did at this time was let Melissa spend a lot of time at her grandparents home. I am sure she saw more and heard more than they ever thought she are sponges they absorb everything around them....I know for a fact after many dicussions that it altered who she was to become.

And for those that are curious but their Momma's taught them better than that, so coming right out and asking the question "Was I the reason for the divorce?" The answer is no, although I knew them I did not know them well, I didn't even come into the picture until April of 1986 as a key player in all of this. Most women with any sense or lack of a stubborn streak would have kept right on going after the 1st incident, but I loved him and I was not going to let her get in the way of our happiness.

The marriage ended badly for PSYCHOLOGICAL reasons............she was psycho and he was logical..........(gotta love that! lol lol lol)

I'll try to remember every "incident" in the right order, but hey I'm human, I make mistakes. Isn't it funny how you might not remember every good thing that has happened to you in your life, but you can remember every bad thing with complete clarity!

So she (DH's 1st Wife) wants us to put everything behind us now, at least for the sake of Melissa and her upcoming wedding in Jamaica.........

Here is just a few things that happened before I even came into the picture.......

How about the time she saw Jim with another girlfriend (after separation, all will be after legal separation) waiting at a stop light while she was pumping gas on her way to work and without warning ran into the street, opened the passenger door and hauled this poor unsuspecting woman out into the street and pounced on her? Jim acted quickly in separating the two and with getting Kendall (woman he was seeing) back into the safety of the car before 1st wife could do anymore damage. Now you tell me, was that for Melissa's sake? There was another incident with another woman which ended badly with her (Donna, another woman Jim dated) getting kicked down the front steps by the 1st wife who had come by the house unexpectedly to announce to Jim that she wanted him back and that she was moving back to him! Cops were called yet interest of Melissa huh?

Tip of the iceberg people, tip of the iceberg! lol lol lol

Sunday, May 7, 2006

40 Something

Just a few things I really didn't appreciate until my 40's....................

My family history, I could have really cared less on who I came from or where I came from but now I appreciate my family history. It's very cool to trace my "ROOTS" all the way back to Ireland and Whales. My Mom was able to trace our family immigration to the new country just before the time of the French and Indian War in America, which is only a few years later than the whole plymouth rock thingy! lol

Bob Segar and Lynard Skynard.......I didn't care for that style of Rock until now.......Music is the best way to time travel. Now when I here a certain song on the radio I am immediately be transported back in time. I think music is the one thing that I truly could not live without.

A slow hand............'nuff said! lol ;)

The fact that my babies aren't babies anymore.......Don't get me wrong I am sooooo looking forward to the time I can spend with my future grandbabies, but I am sooooo done with the baby stage right now. My baby will be 14 this month and I can't even look at a baby or a toddler right now without thinking, "Thank GOD that isn't one of mine!"

Soft Lighting.........'nuff said! lol ;)

Time spent alone...........doing nothing and enjoying it!

A motorcycle ride......Nothing better than the wind in your hair and the sun on your face while holding on to your one true love!

A beautful sunrise more so than a sunset, because that means I was lucky enough to live just one more day!

I'm sure I could come up with at least a hundred more, but these would have at least been on the top of my list right now!

Life is good and I am thankful!

Tuesday, May 2, 2006

A lil whine with my morning....

OK, Hamster has been located and taken back into custody and after a night out of the habitrail I am sure he must be happy to see that exercise wheel and a fresh bottle of water! lol The hand held vacuum has captured the 'trail' that was left 'behind' (pun intended of course) and all is well in Utopia.......

Speaking of Utopia.........

I want to share the life and travels with a kinda new blogger to me........she is living the life I want to be living in say another 10 years or so......empty nester and vagabond!!! I am so jealous of this woman's life right now I could just spit......but Momma always said it was impolite for a lady to spit! "Lady" now there is a term I have a hard time relating too! lol I blame it all on my Irish heritage....Now my Mother is and has always been a lady, me on the other hand doesn't take any offense to the term 'Broad' lol lol lol I can be very lady like when the occasion calls for me to be, but I can hang with the best of them in almost any circle or any situation......ok, back to Utopia!

Right now Utopia for me is in the Burbs of Chicago.....nothing but subdivision after subdivision, grant it it rivals the neighborhood of "Desperate Housewives" but there is nothing of Mother Natures' true beauties to see with the naked eye. I have access to some grand old farms within a car ride, but no mountains, no vistas, no NOTHING! (insert sniffle, then a whine here)

I have the Great Lakes when I need my beach addiction, I have a beautiful Chicago skyline brought to you by "Man Made" but other than that it's just plain ole............FLAT out here. Southern Illinois is much more green and 'hilly' for lack of a better word, but the only time I go south is on the way to the In-Laws and that doesn't generate a 'warm fuzzy feeling' except when I get alone time with the SIL'S down in Kentucky.......LOVE those girlzzzzz!

I was blessed for the few years that I did get to move around and take in as much scenery as one could....Born in Boston, 2 years spent in England, time lived in Texas, Florida and New York (upstate) Catskill Mountains..........(insert sigh) and then back to Chicago. (home of my Father's Family) Where I met, fell head over heels with and married a Chicago boy who will never live anywhere else but here or Wisconsin! But with true love one does have to make sacrifices don't they??? lol lol lol In the meantime I will live vicariously through the windshield of the motor home of Adlessor!

So without further adieu please stop by her blog for some really great scenery and remember to add her to your alerts if you want to see why America the beautiful, is a song that the author knew what they were singing about!

A Couple of Nomads  <~~~~ Linky Linky ;)

Monday, May 1, 2006

Time flies when your........

Getting older! lol

So where have I been? What have I been doing? Right now looking for an escaped hamster......perhaps that in itself might make a very funny story at some point but right now I am not amused! And the boy wonders why I won't let him get a pet snake!!!!

So back to what I really wanted to talk about.......time.

It seems like yesterday I was 16 walking down the street getting beeped at and cat called by men/boys of all ages and thinking anyone older than 20 doing that was just plain "EWWWWWWW!" and I remember thinking that any 40 something year old man looking even remotely my way was a dirty old man. Now here I am 40 something married to a slightly older 40 something man and wondering when did that happen???? lol So..... When did 40 become so ........... "HOT!?!?!"

It seems I had a lot of time on my hands to think the last couple of days (10)......I am recovering from an abscessed tooth which spread to my jaw and sinuses and had me pretty much down for the count for almost a full week.... pain killers and antibiotics made me want to live again thank GOD! And then a weekend spent with girlfriends had us all wondering when did so much time pass? It's a good spread in age between us all.... some 30's, some 40's and some early 50's.  It's always a learning experience when we can all get together and have a few conversations running the gamut from sometimes deep to sometimes raunchy subjects! lol

Age has a way of changing perspectives doesn't it? All this has me wondering now when I am in my 70's am I going to think men in their 80's are still hot?? lol lol lol In my 80's am I still going to remember what to do with a man? I am hoping that "LIKE RIDING A BICYCLE" analogy still rings true at that age... and if not am I gonna really care?

So here were the girls sitting around the poker table Saturday night and wondering if we were suddenly single what would the "Doable" cut off age be? I think my conscious would bother me with anyone 20 something considering I have 2 children in that age range.....30 something totally doable! lol 40 and 50 something? No problems there.....BUT I don't think 60 something would be a turn on for me right now! lol

Poker night ended around 1:00 a.m. Sunday with all of us laughing about how far and few between those beeps and cat calls are these days and how they wouldn't seem to be so "TOTALLY GROSS" as they used to be.......hell, every once in awhile I still get carded and that does a girl good when that happens!

All and all I am still very pleased that Man Of Mine still chases me around the house from time to time and considering he is the only Man I want  to curl my toes with a kiss and bring a blush to my cheeks after all these years.... I know I am a very lucky woman no matter what age I am!