Ok, my first "Incident" with the 1st wife didn't happen until we were dating a few weeks. Well, I think we were beyond dating, we were inseperable from our very first date, it wasn't until years later that a day finally passed that we didn't see each other.
We had gone out for dinner then back to his house to relax and spend some "kid free" time. The night was half way through when the front door rang, since Jim wasn't expecting anyone, he looked out the front window first and saw her car at the end of the drive way. Up until this point he hadn't shared anything about how nasty things had become between the two of them, I didn't know about her violence toward the other women he had dated and I hadn't known about all the crazy things that happened and the police had to be called to remove her from the property, in hind sight he wishes he would of said something earlier about it to me. I wouldn't have had to sit, hidden in another room while she searched the kitchen cabinets looking for a teady bear cake pan that she just had to have for their daughters upcoming birthday.......the problem was it was only June and their daughters birthday wasn't until Novemeber. It was just a ruse to come into the house.
So here I was, sitting on the edge of the bed in the guest room, in the dark, listening to her go on and on about finding the cake pan, and Jim trying to help her and I could tell there was a change in his voice. The whole time my imagination is getting the best of me and the only reason I could come up with as to why I would of been hidden away was maybe he was trying to keep things open with his 1st wife, a way back in if he chose......well, at least that is what my "trust no one" mind was telling me. One more minute of this ridiculous behavior and I am outta there and come what may on what would of/could of happened! (Think of the movie Dirty Dancing) No one puts baby in the corner! lol lol lol
She finds the baking pan, tries to make idle conversation with him but he just talks her right out the front door. Now as I am fleeing the BS we run into each other in the hallway.......I am pissed, he is remorseful and things are about to explode between the two of us. I told him I will give you 1 minute to explain to me why I was treated like the mistress he didn't want discovered and then I was gone, I didn't need this kind of Bs in my life, I was a grown woman with an infant child of my own, Ihad a daughter and a wounded heart to protect.
In the end he told me about her behavior with the other 2 women he dated before dating me and the last thing he wanted was for her to chase me off, this was also the first time he told me that he loved me and that he didn't want to loose me and that what he did was for my own protection. He brought me up to speed on what dating him was going to be like until either she moved on or fell off the face of the earth. He hoped I cared about him enough to stick around, we had something special and he not only knew it he felt it too.... for years it was looking like it was going to go on until she fell off the face of the earth. Once she did find out about me life changed as I knew it. But little did she know that I came from fiesty stock myself! ;)