Friday, September 28, 2007

Had my new chemo last Tuesday (Navelbine) Not liking it all... I ended up sleeping the weekend away except for a brief outing to my oldest daughters house for Dinner on Saturday where I proceeded to throw up my dinner, The last 3 chemo's I was on did not make me sick so I wasn't prepared for that "Ick" feeling all over again like I experienced with the very first type of chemo I had the AC &T,

So this week they gave me half of a dose of the new stuff and I go back next Tuesday and have the other half and maybe my body will have adjusted itself better to it, if not I don't know If I want to continue taking that chemo, quality of life has to play a role in here somewhere. I can't walk around fighting cancer when the treatment makes me wanna die. So far so good with the half dose, but I also want to make sure if I have to take this chemo I am getting a dose high enough to do it's job. You have no idea how sick I am of being sick! Ugh!!!!

I'm still doing physical therapy even after a rough last week, but I saw the difference the exercises I was doing at home and the 2 times a week I spend at the center have made and when I feel stronger, I feel more like my old self. Oh yeah, my tumor markers WERE DOWN last week. Dr. Serious based the change of chemo on the fact that even though they were down, the tumors on my liver and my lung were slightly larger than last time per my cat scan of my chest, abdomin and pelvic that is why the switch once again, on my chemo.

I was blessed with the news that my olderst Daughter and her Husband are ready to start a family come this spring......what better incentive to kick this disease than a goes on and I still want to be in it.....with a grandbaby on my hip of course! OK, Time to get ready for rehab!

Life is good and I am thankful!

Wednesday, September 19, 2007

Some good, some bad...but hey I'm still here right? lol

Ok, The chemo already stopped doing what it was supposed to be doing...the tumor markers went up, the tumor on my liver grew and so did the big one in my lung....good news I didn't need blood, I didn't need a lung tap, all the other tumors in my lungs became very small and my brain scan came back CLEAN!  Well at least my brain is in remission!!  :)  And Jim can only seem to find all but one lump near my spine....there were 4! And my new chemo is an IV PUSH which means I'm given a 15 minute bag of anti nausea meds along with flush liquid then the nurse uses a large syringe with my chemo in it and pushes through my porta cath.....(no worries no pain)....all done in less than a half an hour....before I'd be there 5, 6 7 hours! Ok, so 3rd time WAS NOT the charm...BUT>>>> I wouldn't have known it if I didn't try it right??? New Chemo is called  Navelbine and Navelbine Side Effects - Chemotherapy Drugs

So far I still feel good, there isn't supposed to be any fatigue with this, minor weakness but I'm hoping the physical therapy count reacts that side effect! I'm still banged up pretty good from my fall from the tub so I'm going to need to cancel Friday's PT appointment too. Kinda nice to get a 5 day break from having to do anything or go anywhere...Yeah I think I like that idea a lot!

Thanks for always taking time to read my blog, lift my spirits and for showing the kind of love that only J-Land is capable of sharing...I know not all see eye to eye on everything, but the majority is kind and caring and I have been very lucky to have met you all!


Tuesday, September 18, 2007

Pride cometh before yet another fall! GRRR!

Here I was being so smug thinking a couple of leg lifts and I'm ready to go full speed ahead and how does karma come back and bite me in the butt?? I fell out of the tub yesterday while trying to get out of it, of course that had to be that very same morning where I took the very cushy bathroom rugs out of there to wash them so I landed on a very cold, very hard floor........can you say ouch???

At first I thought I broke my right arm, it hurt to stretch it straight out, so I call Jim at work in tears of course, partly because I'm hurt, partly because I'm so damn mad! I was getting ready for my 2nd physical therapy....cancel that, I'm covered with ice packs! Because my 
Serum hemoglobin  is so low you should see the bruising that comes along with that! I'm almost as purple as that beloved purple dinosaur "BARNEY" Well, at least nothing is broken but a couple hundred blood vessels and between the previous physical therapy, the meds I'm on and falling down I feel like I have been thrown by a Brahma bull (more than once! lol) Jim works only 10 minutes from home so he was here in a flash, the arm is just sore not whole body is sore from the slam dunk.... it's a good thing I am already stocked up on pain medication.

But I'm still taking my colorful self for chemo today.... I refuse to give up my chemo schedule and I am sure I am going to get the same lecture from Dr. Serious Staff that I got from Jim......"If you would of had the walker waiting for you outside the tub you would have had something to hold onto as you were getting out!" So I'm back to being on lock down and no more showers during the day unless someone is home with me...... Well, so much for my short run with my old  independence! 44 year old stubborn Irish women aren't fond of using walkers at this age, so it just sits folded up in the corner of my room reminding me of all that cancer has taken from me and left behind....if I didn't know that someone could really use it when I'm done kicking this cancers ass I'd blow the damn thing up myself, but I know someone out there will need one and won't be able to afford it, so when I'm done I will donate it to a nursing home where I know someone will look at having that walker as a gift and not constant reminder of a difficult time in my life.

Monday, September 17, 2007

cancer blah! cancer blah! cancer blah!

Ok, I have to admit Physical Therapy is doing wonders for me! I have stretches to do at home and then some balancing to do between bars (not those kind of bars! LOL) parallel's my legs and my balance that I need the work on. I could already tell the difference at home on my stairs (really hating this tri-level now! LOL) I have PT twice a week, Mondays and Fridays. I will be doing some weight training too at some point.

Tomorrow is chemo day and I also see Dr. Serious about my brain MRI and Cat scan of my Chest/Abdomen/ Pelvic area......I'm a lil nervous about the brain MRI because my migraines are starting to come back and they left last year when I went into early menopause due to the chemo treatments.....but it is what it is and I will deal with it. Food is back to being blah so it's just small bites of this and that to give me the strength to get through the day, I'm even taking vitamins! Do you know how long my Mother has been trying to get me to take vitamins?? probably over 35 years! lol So I'm a slow learner! lol I wish I liked the health shakes more, easy nutrition... but I stop short of gagging when I think I have to drink one, or it takes me a half an hour to get it down my throat!

Friday morning  I actually left the house by myself, I needed a couple of warm shirts for the cooler weather since none of my old clothes fit me anymore...."Extreme Cancer Make-Over" not the way I wanted to do it, but chit happens right? I guess cancer looks good on me! lol lol lol

We spent the weekend at the lake and I actually joined everybody for a couple of hours around the fire pit....I surprised even Jim when I came walking up that hill..a little bit of normal felt good, of course by the time I was ready to go back Jim had to walk with me, but it felt so good to be able to do something that I took for grant it all these years...a simple walk through the woods..........alone.

Tuesday, September 11, 2007

Me and My Guy and quick update (revised)

Lil Jimmy behind the lens 2007

It's going to be another crazy couple of weeks but at I least I'm off chemo this week...I have to go in today for labs and  my bi-weekly shot of Aranesp  Aranesp®--Prescribing Information   and then I have to wait and get the lab results to see if I am going to be getting another blood transfusion today. 2 pints = 5 hours but I love the staff and we have a good time when my favs are there. So far I have 6 sessions of PT set up with more to follow I'm sure.

Tomorrow I have my psychical therapy evaluation and my 1st session...I have a feeling I'm not going to like it all, but I know it will do me a world of good getting my strength back and maybe some more of my independence....missing that the most! Now my 16 year old daughter who has her permit is LOVING that she gets to drive Mom everywhere....Someday's I have no problem focusing on driving, other days I have the attention span of a gnat..... Chemo, Norco, morphine patch, liquid morphine.....Me on the road? Rachel on the road? Both scare the hell out of me! lol

My days of multitasking are going to be put on hold....That frustrates me the most.....but boy do I love when I have a good thinking day!!! Where everything falls into place and I have some what of a "normal" day. Still waiting for the puffiness of the steroids to wear off...Dr. Serious weened me off of them because he thinks that is what is causing the leg's always something! lol lol lol


Dr. Serious was on vacation last week, the test results have not been studied yet (Brain MRI and CatScan of C/A/P)   BUT.........I didn't need anymore blood, I didn't need the Aranesp shot AND my tumor markers were down.....3 good things IN A ROW!!!!

Life is good and I am thankful!

Thursday, September 6, 2007

Go rest high on that mountain

One of my Girlfriends (Mar) recently lost her Grandmother-In-Law, She was a VERY special lady....made you feel like you were welcome and a new member of the family and extremely quick witted..........loved her instantly! Her service and burial took place yesterday. Even though I just had chemo the day before, and that I am battling a sinus infection, an ear infection and just my normal leg weakness.....I wanted and had to be there!  I really started to not feel well at the end of the service. So now we are on the way to the cemetery for a graveside burial and me thinking that there was going to be a building around with a rest room....nope....So I spy a bank parking lot across this small grassy field with just a few tiny bushes to walk through and I get half way across the grass and my legs give the funeral processions is driving by my as I'm trying to pick myself up out of the Girlfriends daughter and her best friend got to me first and helped me up....was I embarrassed? No! Just wasn't one of my shining moments.....but Goldylocks never fell of me head! lmaoooooo!!!!.A lil water and a lil air conditioning and I was all better. Then later that day I had a glass of red wine spilled on my new white accident Carlie! My friends youngest child I wish you didn't run off and hide...I'll get you next time with grape juice! lol lol lol JUST KIDDING!!!

The rest of the after noon was touring my GF Aunts house and grounds. Just beautiful! Took off in the golf cart to see the woods, the old barns, the new Barns by the time we got back to the main house I'm pulling burrs out of Goldilocks and Mishy is pulling them of the seat of her pants...another funny moment we always seem to have when we are you two!!!

Soon as I get the new test results, I'll share! Have a good day!

Tuesday, September 4, 2007

In quest of an organic pastry shop! lol

Had chemo yesterday...jut the one dose the Gemzar and finally was able to get the last 2 Tumor Marker test results..........AND THEY ARE WAAAY DOWN!!
MAYBE third time's a charm huh? My blood work wasn't fabulous, (platelets) but I begged and I pleaded and they gave in as long as I go in Friday for 2 bags of blood (4 hour process and since I have to be there Thursday for my Brain MRI and cat scan of the chest/abdomin/pelvic , I might as well bring in a pup tent (me and boo of course) a sleeping bag and

Somemores and hang out there till next week when physical therapy starts! lol

I felt stronger and my legs didn't give me that much trouble now that Dr. Serious is once again weaning me off of the steriods....I think physical therapy will do long as they don't hurt me too bad trying to put me back together again...I would really hate it if my Irish temper got in the way with some ones face and my foot...I heard P/H can be pretty painful....I'll just norco the chit out of myself and maybe I won't care what they do to me! lol lol lol

Hope everyone had a great weekend.......too hot here in Chi-Town for me so no direct sunlight or even reflective ( I burn waaay to easy) and the air was too hot to take into my lungs...thank God for dusk and early mornings! The pig roast was a big chocolate cup cake was even better!

Saturday, September 1, 2007

Visit Photographic Memories to see more vacation pics

I posted more vacation pics in my photo blog.....the link is on the top of my "Other Journals" still more to come but I'm spending the weekend at the lake again..........Pig Roast!


Enjoy your Labor Day Weekend!!!!!