Tuesday, September 18, 2007

Pride cometh before yet another fall! GRRR!

Here I was being so smug thinking a couple of leg lifts and I'm ready to go full speed ahead and how does karma come back and bite me in the butt?? I fell out of the tub yesterday while trying to get out of it, of course that had to be that very same morning where I took the very cushy bathroom rugs out of there to wash them so I landed on a very cold, very hard floor........can you say ouch???

At first I thought I broke my right arm, it hurt to stretch it straight out, so I call Jim at work in tears of course, partly because I'm hurt, partly because I'm so damn mad! I was getting ready for my 2nd physical therapy....cancel that, I'm covered with ice packs! Because my 
Serum hemoglobin  is so low you should see the bruising that comes along with that! I'm almost as purple as that beloved purple dinosaur "BARNEY" Well, at least nothing is broken but a couple hundred blood vessels and between the previous physical therapy, the meds I'm on and falling down I feel like I have been thrown by a Brahma bull (more than once! lol) Jim works only 10 minutes from home so he was here in a flash, the arm is just sore not broken.....my whole body is sore from the slam dunk.... it's a good thing I am already stocked up on pain medication.

But I'm still taking my colorful self for chemo today.... I refuse to give up my chemo schedule and I am sure I am going to get the same lecture from Dr. Serious Staff that I got from Jim......"If you would of had the walker waiting for you outside the tub you would have had something to hold onto as you were getting out!" So I'm back to being on lock down and no more showers during the day unless someone is home with me...... Well, so much for my short run with my old  independence! 44 year old stubborn Irish women aren't fond of using walkers at this age, so it just sits folded up in the corner of my room reminding me of all that cancer has taken from me and left behind....if I didn't know that someone could really use it when I'm done kicking this cancers ass I'd blow the damn thing up myself, but I know someone out there will need one and won't be able to afford it, so when I'm done I will donate it to a nursing home where I know someone will look at having that walker as a gift and not constant reminder of a difficult time in my life.

35 comments:

exptmircle said...

You are in my thoughts and prayers.  So sorry to read about your recent tumble. Have you thought of having Jim put in some safety handrails in the bathroom.  I was surprised to see them at hardware store.  Even the walker can move causing poor footing but those handrails are stable.
Linda in So. Calif.  

kirkbyj05 said...

I would look at that walker this way....if I hung some little angels from the rails then I could be being held up by angels so it would be my angel glider.  Or I would personify it in some way and call it my body lift...Lol!  I would wrap coloured tapes around it and make it into a rainbow walker.  When I went bald from my chemo I hated that too.  As I waited for my wig to arrive my sister and I were trying to find a name for IT.  We were mumbling and saying 'will ma' wig be grey? 'will ma' wig be black? 'will ma' wig be blonde? Until ..'will ma' became Wilma.  Personifying things helped me to mock the real reason for wearing it.  It saw me through the ups and downs of chemo.  And the tearful black days.
Call it whatever you want, and I bet you will find a better name than I ever could...lol!  But please use it for your own sake?  You can't afford to spill all that precious blood into a bruise of giant proportions.  YOu need it to help you get better.
Look after yourself...!

Sent with love and care and prayers.

Hugs
Jeanie xxx

malagutigrrl said...

Ouch!  But I had to grin when I read this.  My 83 year old mom just had her cataracts taken off and so she's been speeding around here like an 18 year old, resulting in a fall the other day.  Interesting... she got the same lecture from me that you got from Jim. ;)  PAY ATTENTION!  He knows what he's talking about. :)

sangrialel said...

Owww!!!  Linda

siennastarr said...

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easteeleco said...

I fell in our bathroom (coming out of the tub) in Germany.  All tile, lots of angles.  I knocked the wind out of myself, and was very bruised and sore.  I FEEL for you! Be careful.  Estela

canyonsun04 said...

I personally think that Barney is a lovely shade of purple sweetie <BIG SMILE> I hope you get back to therapy soon though, sorry you got hurt.

Hugs
Ang

chat2missie said...

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pharmolo said...

Hope you recover soon from the bruises - good luck with the chemo!

sunnyside46 said...

at least you were clean!
in body if not in mind!
I am so sorry....seems like you could be spared those little indignities.
I love you
Marti

princesssaurora said...

I know all about falling... ouch.  I do the same thing with my cane... it sits there, even on bad days.  I try to remind myself that its just a tool, doesn't mean anything... but it is hard to remember that when trying to be all super woman!  LOL  Hang in there, dear heart... I am praying that your cancer will remit soon.

be well,
Dawn

shauneenie said...

Ouch Kim! Sorry to hear about your fall! It must be terrible to lose your independence like that!! Giving you a great big BARNEY hug (((((Kim))))) LOve you Gal!!

sdoscher458 said...

Ouch..be careful. What about using a bath stool in the tub? When I first went on blood pressure medicine I was losing my balance like crazy, I found that it helped me. And have the walker outside the tub as Jim said. Still praying baby...love, Sandi

breakaway1968 said...

SO glad you didn't break your arm!  Good luck with Cemo and healing from that fall!  

gandsbrock said...

Owie!  That must've hurt!  You won't have that walker for long.  Use it while you need it - remember, it's just temporary!  You'll be back dancing on table tops before you know it.  Hope your chemo goes well today.

Stephanie

candlejmr said...

DAMN IT girlfriend!!  You have got to take it easy!!!  Although as I was reading your entry, I thought "I would have done the exact same thing."  We don't like to have people do things for us, do we?  I am so glad Jim got there quickly and nothing is broken.  Now, keep your butt in the chair during chemo, OK?? (lol)

((hugs))
Jeanne

faithmtn said...

Wow Kim, SO sorry that you fell and have to deal with more pain, but I am glad you didn't seriously hurt yourself or break anything. There are bars that can be mounted at the side of the shower/tub that you can use to help yourself get out. Most medical supply stores sell them. Maybe you'd be more comfortable with that over the walker?

It is so hard giving up independence, admitting the limitations of these frail BODIES, but remember, EVERYONE needs help sometime in their life. It is by no means a sign of weakness. From what I've read of you in your journal, you are a loving, giving person. I'm sure you have helped many people throughout your life. Now it is time to accept help. Remember how good it feels when you help someone? That's how they feel when they can help you! Let people help you and take care of you. Soon you'll be able to be the giver again. Take good care!

plieck30 said...

Just wear your big loop earrings with the purple and you will be as neat as ever. Seriously I'm glad the fall wasn't as bad as it could have been although I'm sure it hurt enough. Paula

inafrnz247 said...

::extending my hand... squeezing yours tightly::

What an awful thing to have happen...  Just when you thought you were feeling stronger.  The inner strength you possess FAR outweighs the physical ramifications of this horrid disease, and the courage you have to push forward each and every day, after every challenge, is remarkable.  

With prayers and love,

Michelle

ab45yui said...

Had to laugh at the Barney analogy!  Somehow you are too pretty to even be compared to that purple dinosaur.  I am glad you did not break your arm, that had to hurt your funny bone and I know its never funny when you hit those!  Keep up the great spirit you possess and continued strength will follow!  You're doing alright!

tendernoggle said...

BLESS YOUR HEART KIM....PLEASE WAIT AND LET JIM BE OF HELP TO YOU...I KNOW IT WOULD MAKE HIM FEEL BETTER TOO.
HOPE ALL THE PAIN AND BRUISING GOES AWAY FAST...
LOVE YA, CARLENE

chevyz71gurl74 said...

Oh Kim...so glad you didn't break anything!
I know you've got to be sore though, take it easy..
Hope you are feelin better soon!

Hugs,
Terri

frankandmary said...

I was with someone who was staring with a bit of pity at a very young girl using a walker ~  the girl said:  Don't feel bad. I get people to do all kinds of sh*t for me using this thing ;-).

~Mary

swferstl said...

Oh, Mary! That was a GOOD one! And somehow I can see Kim saying it, too!!!
HAAA!!!
Kim, take care of yourself. Keep the spunk comin', girl!
hugs, sher (wunzuponatime)

purplehazebarn said...

Even in your falls, you are helping someone else.  In a few months I will be 3/4 of a century--and the idea of having a walker by the tub is an excellent idea.  One I certainly haven't thought of--and I have a walker sitting in the garage.  You bet it will soon be moved to my bathroom.  Because of my fear of falling, I have one of the medical shower chairs inside the tub--but will be great having something to hold on to as I get out of the tub.  Use that walker, Kim--and know you may have helped a lot of us old ladies by mentioning the walker.  Will whisper a little prayer for you each time I use it!  ((((Hugs)))), LaVern

loverobin32 said...

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am4039 said...

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blpltt said...

I would have said a lot more than ouch!
Know how you feel about the walker, I have the same relationship with my hearing aid - why are these things so ageing?  I was rushed to hospital last year, and put on ten years when they sat me in a wheelchair, ha ha.
Bunny xx

lanurseprn said...

Catching up here. Sorry you fell! I'm glad you didn't get hurt worse than you did! Sheesh that's scary.
Be careful Kim. Hugs to you.
Pam

jmorancoyle said...

    Please feel better.
Jude
http://journals.aol.com/jmorancoyle/MyWay

chaispice1023 said...

ouch, owie and dadgum it...i'm so sorry you fell.  i had an experience last summer that left me with a godawful purple half-face - what's fun is to color coordinate your outfits with the bruising...ah well, just some warped way of dealing with it.

best good thoughts,

mara

ma24179 said...

Oh my God, I am so sorry that you fell! Be brave but be cautious at the same time. You are still weak. -Missy

pprrrr39 said...

OUCH............. I am so sorry to hear that Kim......Hope your not so sore now
hugs Jayne

mutualaide said...

I'm so sorry you had a fall and I do hope that by today you feel a tad better about the changes in your daily life.  Keep smiling and stay strong for you!  

psychfun said...

Yesterday, as I waited for hours at home for my b-friend to call and until 1:45am no less, thinking he was dead on the road, I finally get a call that he had stopped by to help a girl with her batting practice. The girl swung & hit him in the arm after his pitched the ball...yep...broke both bones just above his wrist. I was a mess last night. He will pay for not calling me while he was at the ER...he will not make that mistake again! And the stubborn irish man will not take any meds. His hand is hanging down & they couldn't even get him to take anything at the ER! UGH! I left him tonight saying I won't count how many pills there are so you can take one to go to sleep & you will still be the tough hero to me. They casted him up to mid upper arm in blue & red for the cubs. Unfortunately, the Cubs lost so that didn't help matters.

Hey how about trying those crocks...they should be able to be worn in the shower & then you would have some traction.