Flourishing under the Influence

Important influences in my life.......Most I didn't even realize the influence until later in my life, some weren't even good influences but they became my guide as to what I would and what I wouldn't put up with in my life throughout out the years of growing up, I may have stopped growing up at some point, but I hope to never stop growing as a person.

My Mother, growing up an only child of parents who started late in life and who were both alcoholics never ceases to amaze me, somewhere along the line her parents ended up doing an amazing job or she was destined to be born an amazing person. This woman is the most honorable woman I know, she is loving, kind, intelligent, strong in mind and will ..... but fierce when she needs to be.

My Father, even though he was not the best Father, but when he was good he was very good.....But he was a horrible Husband to my Mother and it was love that kept them together for a long time. It certainly wasn't trust and fidelity, but they did have a beautiful love for one another. To bad love can't conquer all. He taught me what I didn't want in a husband, a good marriage needs to be based on more than just love and I wanted even better than a 'good' marriage.

My High School Councilor, DR G. That man proved to me that I was worth saving. I was so self destructive in my teenage years that I didn't care if I lived through them. I became a hard core drug user, abused alcohol, took risks with my life that today as a parent I would surely loose it if one of my children did the things that I did. I really didn't care if I lived or I died , I am not sure why I chose the things that I did, even after 'therapy' the reason behind everything could have been based on many things. I was either looking for an easy way out of all the pain that was trapped inside me from being raised in the era of " Shhh don't tell" or I was just looking for someone to say I was worth saving, even worth saving from myself. DR G knew more of my life than my own family members did. He listened, he cared, he took action but the best thing he did for me was he believed in me, he knew the person I am today was hidden in me somewhere, waiting until is was safe to emerge and begin to trust in myself.

Aunt Fofi, she wasn't my real aunt she was the Mom who lived across the street who saw a child who needed to feel like she belonged to something and took me into her Big Fat Greek family. I became a family member the day I moved into my house when she said unpack your bathing suit your going swimming. I spent a lot of my early years being loved by this huge family. The Greeks know how to love family members, EVERYBODY is immediate family........ I loved and needed that.

Every parent of every friend who embraced me for who I was even though they secretly gave thanks to the Lord that I was NOT their child. They all encouraged me to be who I was destined to be, because I was going to be OK, but just to 'be careful' I think they all saw the wild side of themselves and loved the idea that I was running with it, or they saw something in me they wish they could of been more like........but they were all parents and they knew that everything in life has risks and they didn't want to see me become a victim unto myself. These parents made me aware that every child needs guidance,even if it isn't your child and it is the reason that today I am the parent of a child who's friends know that I am a safe haven, someone who they can talk to, someone that they know will listen, and someone who isn't afraid to tell it like it is..... I had great mentors in my friends parents.

Last but not least was my First General Practitioner Doctor (when I bought this house in a new neighborhood and needed a new family Doctor) DR. W, who when I was finally ready to spill the beans from being raised in the era of "Shhhh don't tell" Sat silently across from me and only listened for fear if she spoke once, I would close myself off which is something I can do very easily (early survival instinct and tactic) then calmly after the walls came down and the tears started falling she said,"First we are going to get your body healthy and strong, then we are going to get your mind and your soul healthy and strong!" It was my last affirmation that I needed to know I was still worth saving........I have been on that road to recovery from so many things since that day.