Sunday, July 31, 2005

Not a good day to be.....Me....(2)

OK, After I sat there patiently letting my SIL go over a few of my personality flaws..... while I locked and loaded. I cannot tell you how incredibly rude this woman is.....she offends people left and right and is not even aware of it, on a previous 'girls night out' she reduced my best friend to tears........She pointed out to my Girlfriend that her Husband is a looser and that in her opinion she wears to much make-up! I had to laugh at this one because this is a woman who powders her face several times a day, one layer on top of one layer, never without lipstick and wears eye shadow and mascara.........my best friend is like me, maybe we wear liner and mascara once in a while but that's is it. It was like Tammy Faye calling the kettle black! I spent the next day apologizing to my best friend and promising her that the SIL will not be joining us out again. I have never met a person who always says the most inappropriate things at the most inappropriate times. I wasn't the only person the SIL offended the other night...but will she remember?

By the end of the evening, we were actually turned away from a bar....at the door....because the bouncers said she was too intoxicated to enter......now that has never happened to me before and on top of it my SIL was insisting that she could drive the 12 miles back to her house, she couldn't even walk 12 steps and now I am seriously thinking about discussing with her (when she is sober) maybe a 10 step program might be in order. She doesn't casually drink, she drinks till she buzzes, and mostly in excess. I had to hold her by the arm just to get back to the cars and while I am searching through her purse for keys, the other girls strap her in the passenger seat, and they follow me to her house then return me to my vehicle........no matter how mad I am at her, she is NOT driving drunk! She did call me the next day and apologize all over again and thank me for driving her home.  I wonder how much of that night she remembers.

So since my 19 year old daughter and my SIL decided that...... that was the day to point out my flaws I thought that I should just lay them all out there, so no one will assume that I ever need to be told of them again.

I know I talk to much which sometimes leads to interrupting people, I am quick tempered, I am opinionated and articulate which means I can readily give my opinions, I am defensive (childhood issues I am always working on) I am stubborn (not my fault, I'm Irish! lol), I can be mean but I am never mean spirited, I only bring out mean when it is necessary and I need to work on being more tolerant and patient. There see.... I know my flaws........oh and did I mention....... I'm sarcastic??? lol lol lol

So in the end I know my flaws and I am working on them, I am trying to become a better me, I am ever evolving as I should be. I am a firm believer that you can say just about anything to anybody, but you have to always use tact and choose your time and place wisely. If you reverse every situation when presented with it, it gives you a better understanding of how to deal with it. I am old school about "treating people the way I want to be treated", but fair warning I am also old school on "do something to me once shame on you, do something to me twice shame on me"........I give very few second chances.....who knows maybe I need to add that to my list of flaws..........naaaaaaaaaa!

7 comments:

madcobug said...

I don't think I would like to go out with your SIL. I just don't like to be around someone who tries to put other people down. I have seen people who do that and they have done it to me & it is not a pleasant feeling. I feel like the one who is doing it maybe feels insecure themselves and tries to make other people feel like they do.  One of my friends asked this paticuliar lady one time what her problem was that she had criticized everyone who came in the door. I think that stopped her for a while. Have a good evening. Helen

happysunshien said...

you need to take a video camera or recorder next time you go out with her so she can hear and see how she acts....

kelly

sunnyside46 said...

i used to know a woman like that,only her forte was talking about people behind their backs. i often wondered what she would speak of if everyone she knew was in the roon together?
I am not one to tell people their faults, i figure they know, if I want to be around someone, I will concentrate on their good points.
How are things with you daughter, BTW?
Marti
http://journals.aol.com/sunnyside46/MidlifeMusings

psychfun said...

I agree with Kelly! Bring a recorder. Maybe when she is sober she will see or be able to notice people's reactions.

http://journals.aol.com/psychfun/MeThinksTooMuch/

Psychfun


krobbie67 said...

It sounds to me like you are compassionate and self-aware. Qualities your SIL sounds like she is lacking. Personally, I think you should keep a list of your best qualities, not your flaws. There's enough people in the world who will beat you up with them and remind you how you don't measure up to their standard. Let your inner voice not join the crowd - let it be a cheerleader amongst the din.
:-D ---Robbie

sdoscher458 said...

I don't think they are flaws, most of those tendencies are what made this whole country really great!  Besides I think you are one of the most honest speaking people that I have read on journals...and I like it....Sandi http://journals.aol.com/sdoscher458/LifeIsFullOfSurprises

draven127 said...

I have been reading your blog for a while now.  You are (from what I know of you through your blog) a wonderful woman.  I hope that I can be as cool, as down to earth, as whitty and as beautifully spirited as you are as i grow.  I'm 24 now and i love who i have become through the ups and downs of life.  You always seem to be able to put a little fun in what ever you are talking about and i think that is one of the best traits to have.  Thanks for sharing your life with the AOL world.  

As far as talking to much sometimes to the point of interrupting goes, my mother and i were talking about how nice it is to be girls.  Men tend to have a one track mind they get their thought or point in their head and need to babble about it uninterrupted because if they are interrupted they get pissy because they cant remember what it was they were trying to say.  However, we as women can have a girls night out with out all the pissy-you-interrupted-me drama crap.  Women can remember not only what they were going to say they can also order a drink, light a cigarette, chew gum, make a grocery list, think about the doctors appoitment the next day, and know exactly where their keys are all in the same second.  So i don't think that interrupting is rude i think it is just a way of saying I know how you feel and i have also felt that way at one time.

Stay cool

Ashley