Journal Jar........Question 71

Journal Jar Question # 71 - Here comes the Bride....  

Describe your wedding, who was in it? What did everyone wear?

  Oh Lord here we go............I had said that I might journal about this someday and I guess today is the day, so here goes...........

Jim and I started dating 4. 5 years before we were married........3.5 of those years we were the best things in each others lives.....that last year he wasn't the best thing in my life...he was my constant heart break.

The year we started dating he was going through a divorce which took over 4 years to finally go through, many complications and many court dates. We had no idea that his divorce would take 4.5 years to finally go through and set many wedding dates, first wedding date was to be the ultimate wedding, sad to say when the months leading up to the set date were fast approaching we knew we had to cancel it because the divorce was still on going. Second wedding date we opted to keep it simple and have an island wedding with just a few close friends........date came and went no divorce. Third wedding date, we said forget the whole wedding thing and just run off to Vegas and be wed at a 24 hour chapel, just us....combine honeymoon with a few extra days spent in Vegas, not romantic but we both realized the marriage is way more important than the wedding.......date came and went, no divorce.

Now you think a girl would kinda get discouraged, but I knew he was my forever love and I thought I could wait forever if I had to. His divorce was final in December of 1989.......now you think we would run off and get married anywhere, anyhow, anyway........right? WRONG! All of a sudden Mr. Wonderful got cold feet and became a lil less Mr. Wonderful to me everyday. I did not understand the change that came over him........we spent the next 6 months being more off than on. Then finally in June that year, he repopped the question I said yes and was back on cloud nine again.......I thought we had worked out what was keeping us apart and we had a wonderful night together.

At the end of the next work day I received 'the phone call' Yup, he did it over the phone. I got the whole schpeel of I love you, I will always love you, and if I ever get married again it would be to you, but I just don;t see myself getting married again until I'm at least 40, I hope you can understand? now I am thinking.... at least 40??? That was 8 years away! Now let me get this straight after waiting 4. 5 years I am supposed to wait another 8???.......Sorry ain't gonna happen mister! have a nice life, through a broken heart and many tears I walked away.

After a few weeks I finally accepted a date with someone my friend said would be perfect for me, was I ready to get over Jim?.......no was I ready to start dating........yes! So I agreed to call this man...we spoke over the next few days, he knew where my heart was regarding Jim and I finally agreed to meet for dinner.......I walk into the restaurant and was stunned to see a man that looked just like my Jim, the only difference was the eyes, he didn't have Jim's lovely green eyes.

Because of the amount of time we spent talking on the phone it felt like an old friend, we had no awkward moments. That alone scared me.......how can I be sooooo comfortable with a man other than Jim? Jim and I had been on and off all year and I did date other men in between, but none more than a week or so because that is how long Jim and I could be apart.......after a week or so we would always make sure we ran into one another and pick right up where we left off. That was beginning to be our new routine. But after the last conversation with one another we both thought this time it is really over...we no longer wanted the same things...so we both moved on or so we thought.

Sorry.....this is taking longer to get out than I thought so I think it's going to be a 2 maybe 3 part entry.........continued later! lol