Sunday, November 7, 2004

Love.......the series final chapter

For those that have just found this series you can start at the very beginning http://journals.aol.com/demandnlilchit/LifeasIliveit/entries/398/

Danny's calls went un returned by me for almost a week, I needed time to think, I needed time to see if I ever wanted to return to my life in New York. Danny had called and had spoken to my Mother several times, he wanted answers she couldn't give him, she just reminded him to be patient and understand that I was only 18 when I left with him. He asked if he should fly in to talk with me and she said wait to talk to hear from me first.

I finally called Danny and told him what my heart and head had been telling me for a while. Yes, I did love him but I couldn't live in New York, I had to be here in Chicago, with my family. I told him that it was his turn to take sometime and think now, could he make that kind of sacrifice for me? It's not that his sub contracting business couldn't find work here too, the market was still booming. I had left with him at 18, I would be turning 21 soon
maybe I wasn't such a "big girl" after all. He agreed to think about everything we talked about and now the ball was in his court.

We still talked late into the hours every night, sometimes we cried, sometimes we fought, I felt making our home here in Chicago for a while would be good for the relationship, he thought getting married and still reside in New York would solve everything! I think it was that old women are from Venus and men are from Mars thing. He thought getting married was all I needed. He also thought he could never live in Chicago.

We continued to fly back and forth to see each other whenever we could, we still talked regularly on the phone. He did actually propose to me once in New York while I was there visiting for a few weeks. I said come live in Chicago he said I can't leave the East coast. The ring never made it out of the little black box, I didn't want the charade of an engagement that wouldn't really end up with a marriage and a life together.

Danny talked a lot with my Mother whenever he called and I wasn't around, he told her I love her enough to let her grow up and when she's done I'll still be here waiting for her. It was the word "here" that bothered me. "Here" to him always meant the East coast, I might of not known what I wanted at that time in my life but I sure as hell knew what I didn't want....I didn't want to live in New York anymore.

The relationship deteriorated into talking only once in a while and empty promises of visits to there and here. I think we both knew the relationship was over when he went to Hawaii for 2 months and didn't invite me along and I didn't care that he didn't. He did stop in Chicago on his way back home, I had received the usually souvenirs, the post card of him scuba diving with his actual picture on the front under water, I knew it was him instantly, he also sent those post cards to his family, which promptly read them and threw them out, they didn't know it was him on the post card.

It was this visit that I had to tell him that I might be pregnant, it wasn't his baby. We weren't a couple anymore, he knew I was seeing other people, I knew he was. It wasn't spoken about but we both knew. I think that was the last straw so to speak, he was furious, that I was sexually active again, I had been home for almost a year, my life was moving on, his was too. He left angry when the EPT proved I was indeed expecting. What he forgot to inform me of was the woman from Germany that he had met while in Hawaii, who was planning on stopping in New York on her return flight back to Germany (at his invitation) to see him again. Oma must have been very pleased, he finally had a German Girl for her to meet. I wasn't supposed to be sexually active but he could?

My priorities had changed, I was pregnant and going to have a baby, I couldn't chase a dream around anymore. That was the last time I heard from Danny.........Life goes on

The End.......... of the "Danny Years"





4 comments:

maidothemist said...

<swoon>  So where do I find more about the beginning of this other love story? You have a new baby coming! Do I need to back track?

astaryth said...

O.K. The end of the "Danny Year's".... but your not stopping here...right...right...::looks around for Dorn's rolled up paper::

eml625 said...

It's over? No more Danny? You never spoke to him again? Ok- Who's the new guy? Who's baby was it? All these questions I have .......LOL
Ellen
http://journals.aol.com/eml625/Onedayatatime

kimbellina1957 said...

LOL.....COULD BE MY STORY.:)
I WANNA KNOW WHEN JIMMY COMES INTO THE MIX HERE........LOL!!
WAIT, BACK UP, WE NEED TO KNOW ABOUT THE BABY AND HER BIRTH FIRST...
CAN YOU MAKE THE FIRST ENTRY TO THIS CHAPTER TODAY THOUGH? HUH, PLEASE?!
OH!!!....
KIM.