I finally have my older two daughters room, emptied and cleaned out, and even though I am looking forward to making it into a nice guest room and a room for me to escape to, I am not as happy as I thought I would be. There will be no more little girl giggles escaping from under their door, late night kitchen raids, and no more Saturday Mornings with us all piled up in Mom and Dads bed for cartoons and conversations. They are both young women now......Melissa soon to be 23 and Amanda 19 and are both living out on their own now.
Gone are the posters on the walls, the loud music from behind closed doors, and the make-up and perfume bottle covered dressers with remnants of their childhood scattered here and there. Gone are the late night rings of the telephone because their friends just had to speak to them on more time. Almost gone are my late night vigilant watches, from the living room window, waiting for car lights to hit the drive way at curfew. Even though they no longer live at home I am still restless at night around that time.
I know this is what every parent hopes for, independent children, but still the silence of their absence is deafening at times. I makes me look at our youngest daughter Rachel (14) who just started High School and I want to wrap her up in my arms and rock her like she was my baby again, loosing her to adulthood will be the most bittersweet...... she is the last of my wrapped in pink baby girls.
I'm not sure what it is, but their first four years of life crawl by at such a slow pace and you just can't wait to get them into Kindergarten and then the last four years of their youth, fly by faster than you can blink and you wish it would slow down just a little......and I only say a little because their teenage years can drive a Momma crazy! I know I have been through two of theirs already and the younger two are just at the cusp of their teenage years and they say a teenager has angst.......well, it ain't nothing compared to the angst of a Mother with teenagers! lol
My blessing in this is that none of my children have been as wild as I was and for that I am very thankful......but then again "Mini Me" is only 14......right?? lol lol lol