Friday, September 9, 2005

Melancholy Momma

I finally have my older two daughters room, emptied and cleaned out, and even though I am looking forward to making it into a nice guest room and a room for me to escape to, I am not as happy as I thought I would be.  There will be no more little girl giggles escaping from under their door, late night kitchen raids, and no more Saturday Mornings with us all piled up in Mom and Dads bed for cartoons and conversations. They are both young women now......Melissa soon to be 23 and Amanda 19 and are both living out on their own now.

Gone are the posters on the walls, the loud music from behind closed doors, and the make-up and perfume bottle covered dressers with remnants of their childhood scattered here and there.  Gone are the late night rings of the telephone because their friends just had to speak to them on more time. Almost gone are my late night vigilant watches, from the living room window, waiting for car lights to hit the drive way at curfew. Even though they no longer live at home I am still restless at night around that time.

I know this is what every parent hopes for, independent children, but still the silence of their absence is deafening at times. I makes me look at our youngest daughter Rachel (14) who just started High School and I want to wrap her up in my arms and rock her like she was my baby again, loosing her to adulthood will be the most bittersweet...... she is the last of my wrapped in pink baby girls.

I'm not sure what it is, but their first four years of life crawl by at such a slow pace and you just can't wait to get them into Kindergarten and then the last four years of their youth, fly by faster than you can blink and you wish it would slow down just a little......and I only say a little because their teenage years can drive a Momma crazy! I know I have been through two of theirs already and the younger two are just at the cusp of their teenage years and they say a teenager has angst.......well, it ain't nothing compared to the angst of a Mother with teenagers! lol

My blessing in this is that none of my children have been as wild as I was and for that I am very thankful......but then again "Mini Me" is only 14......right?? lol lol lol

15 comments:

gdireneoe said...

This is EXACTLY why I am at home.  It all just goes by too damned fast.  Mine are younger, so I have more time...and I'm lappin' up every thing I can. ;)  C.  http://journals.aol.com/gdireneoe/thedailies

mawmellow said...

AWWWWWWWW (((((Demandn)))))) there you go....tuggin @ my heart strings again !!

hadonfield78 said...

I havent had any of the four leave the nest yet. But my oldest is 16, and she is
compin at the bit to move out after high school.
I say I am ok now. But I know when the times comes, it will be hard to see my
Baby Girl move out.

lsk49rs said...

h

grofsand said...

Watching your children leave the house is like giving up a front row seat to the greatest show on earth. Now you will find a seat further back and angle yourself for a good view!
 Your 14 yr. old stands to reap the benefit of being the youngest. The attention towards her will not be as divided as it was before....you will become even closer friends than you can imagine!
 I understand and appreciate your mood....you hear the clock ticking...the most difficult words I had to hear in my lifetime was  (heard them 3 times)   "bye Dad...take care"...
Wishing you a day with Peace~~~Marc :)

rap4143 said...

You need a hug (((()))). But soon they will marry, the grandchildren will arrive :) been there!!!
Betty
http://journals.aol.com/rap4143/MyDayMyInterests/
http://journals.aol.com/hhdecor2/HomeLifeDecoratingBlog/

rashgirl13 said...

As I am preparing to leave my momma, this reminds me to take care of her feelings.  Thanks so much!

Rachael
http://journals.aol.com/rashgirl13/RachsDailyLife

mamadozier3 said...

So true. I have a daughter who just started High School (Melissa also) and I have cought myself hugging her and trying to bring back that "feeling" for which I had when she was a baby. Her hands still look like they did when she was small, but of corse larger! Your story softened my heart! Thanks for sharing!
Lenise

jmorancoyle said...

    My boys are 20 and 22. I still have them at home, but I know that day is coming.
Jude
http://journals.aol.com/JMoranCoyle/MyWay

sdoscher458 said...

Oh I feel your pain. My youngest started out on his own a little over a year ago, the empty nest syndrome hit me hard. I'm the type that likes extended families, I would have hundreds of kids around me if I could. Sandi

yaya1 said...

h

sunflowerkat321 said...

My oldest left for college this fall, and my second started high school.  I was unprepared for how those last four years fly.  It's kind of frightening.

My youngest is ten (the only boy) but I have that same feeling of wanting to somehow freeze him in his carefree youth.  We just have to hang on tight, while we can.

smfdbabycakes said...

it is hard as a parent to accecpt that your little ones are growing up.i have seen that my mother would do the same with me when i was still home with her.my brother does the same thing with me.he was like a father figure to me even though i had my father.but being the child of a dirovence family its hard.you just have to learn to watch them grow and let them be who they are inside.i sometimes wish i could be at the age again were life was so simple.but hey life goes on and time stops for no one.hope you find the strength to just let your children be.
                                            Diana

shiestymcnasty4 said...

As a father to be I find this all kind of frightening to think about the future which ios so close yet so far away at the same time. But it is interesting to hear what it is like from a parent who isn't mine, I mean my mom has 5 adult children now but she never she stops say things about how she misses whne we wre little and think that it is refreshing that you have

cyndygee said...

I love this entry . . .  especially the part where you give thanks that neither of them were as wild as Momma!  LOL!  It seems like Momma turned out to be a wonderful loving mother.  Congratulations, Momma.
                                                                      Cyndy