Monday, April 2, 2007

Well, I was feeling yellow.....

Now I'm just feeling...........numb.


It's back, I have a malignant tumor about 3 quarters of an inch in diameters...right lung, on the back just below my shoulder blade about 2 inches off my spine.


3 months to the day of my last chemo.....tests have been ordered for a few blood tests, a full PET scan (about time) and I will have a C/T guided needle biopsy just to see exactly what I am dealing with. I am still waiting for the times and dates, they are in the works....so much for my new hair huh?? good thing I kept goldylocks and my Liza Minelli style eye lashes huh? I'm crying, laughing and pissed off all over again.


Round and round she goes, where she stops....nobody knows.

70 comments:

mumma4evr said...

crap!  sending many hugs!
Becky

candlejmr said...

OH, SHIT, SHIT, SHIT......

Oh Kim, I am so, so sorry.  

You can do this....you have DONE this.....

I will be here all the way.....

What can I do to help????

((hugs)) and love and prayers and ANYTHING ELSE you need.
Jeanne

chat2missie said...

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mikev009 said...

REALLY sad to hear it Kim.  We'll keep hanging in there for you.  ~ Mike

kirkbyj05 said...

I am aching so much for you.  I cannot comprehend how you feel right now.  I willed that everythng was going to go all right for you.  Please God may you find a way of coping with all the ensuing trials and treatments. I am praying so very hard for you to get better and find the strength to cope. May you feel all of our prayers and blessings surrounding you at this time.   God Bless You!    Jeanie

ekgillen said...

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brandyp0509 said...

Oh Kim I'm so sorry and know that you will be in my prayers.  Hugs, Brandy

tiffosis1971 said...

Hi Kim - I've been reading your journal for months now and have always found it a source of inspiration and laughter - even when you are down, you manage to find at least one thing to be grateful for.

Just wanted you to know that I will be keeping you in my thoughts and prayers this week. If anyone has the strength and fortitude to fight this next battle, I know it;s you.

Tiff

gosso23 said...

Oh Kim! I am so sorry. I just don't know what to say. I am feeling so many emotions for you right now. I am here rooting for you every step of the way.
Trish

iamtish0726 said...

I am so sorry that you have to go through this again.  I don't have the same illnesses that you have what I can tell you though it sucks.  I know the crying and the laughing at the same time also.  I will keep you in my prayers.

lindaggeorge said...

I don't know what to say, I want to help but how can I? All we can do is continue to support you and send you our love. You will beat this, it's just that someone moved the winning post and now you have further to run. It's so bloody unfair but then that's life isn't it, we just have to do the best we can.

Linda xx.

midwestvintage said...

 Kim, this is just so awful.  I am so sorry about this. Best of luck and will keep the prayers coming.

                      Julie

lanurseprn said...

Oh Kim...I don't have any words right now.  I will keep you in my prayers, though.  You know that.
Hugs..Pam

ajquinn354 said...

Kim keep that pissed off and I'll beat this attitude, you'll get through this.  You're in all of our special thoughts and prayers and all of us will be here for you.  When you talk with your Doctors my dear, ask about Radio Frequency Ablation.  Check out the sites on the internet on this as a medical treatment procedure. My Cousin Bruce was able to go this route and I'd never heard anything about this prior to his treatment, so wanted to pass it on you to check into.  Bless you dear......hang in there....Arlene (AJ)

nhd106 said...

Oh crap....not very good news.   Please keep us posted and know that we are all here sending you hope and light...just like those daffodils.  

Hugs to you,
Nancy

scotthlori said...

I can't even imagine it.  Know that we are praying for you!

LORI

therealstephhull said...

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mosie1944 said...

I'm so sorry.

gandsbrock said...

{{{Kim}}}
Time for more shotgun shells, girl.  I'm so sorry, and so stunned.  How dare it come back!  You are in my prayers.  I hope they can get these tests for you ASAP.  Take care, Stephanie

lazarai said...

OMG, ((((Kim)))), I am so sorry to hear that news. :(  Now you're just gonna have to fight even harder and stay as positive as you can. You are a super strong lady with guts, class, and kids, not to mention a man and a family who love you. FIGHT it, Kim. All of J-land is with you...

Hugs,
Carol

astaryth said...

Aw... CRAP! I'm so sorry, and any words I have are just going to be lame because this just SUCKS! Hang in there kid. I wish I could do more, but at least I can offer a {{hug}} and all the positive energy I can send is winging your way.
http://journals.aol.com/astaryth/AdventuresofanEclecticMind/
http://adventuresofaneclecticmind.blogspot.com/

ldybutterfly1128 said...

Kim, I am a total stranger, but I have been reading your blog for several days now and receive alerts when you post new ones.  My husband is in the midst of what you are going through...recurrent colon cancer, stage 2.  Who knew you could get colon cancer again without a colon!  I'm not the patient, just the bystander, and it totally sucks for us too.  

All I can say is that I am praying for you, and your precious family.  Hopefully you'll feel the peace from God.  Just saying "I'm sorry," doesn't seem like enough, so prayer is what I offer up on your behalf.  Stay strong, friend!  And I thank you for allowing me, a caretaker, to gain some insight into what my husband is thinking and feeling since he doesn't seem to want to share that part of this process with me.

God Bless You,
Jamie
Riverside, Ca.

jcole16757 said...

Kim, keeping you in my thoughts and prayers~

canyonsun04 said...

You are not alone, many of us are standing behind you praying for you and sending you good vibes, you fought it before, you will do so again. :) You must.
Hugs
Ang

tendernoggle said...

Kim....
THINK ABOUT THIS....

Look here my little hero.......3 quarters of an inch in diameters maignant tumor is not gonna woop you.......ohhhhhh HELL NO! Not my fighting Irish girl........no way hosea........You just gonna have to get back in that ring and come out fighting mad like you did last time and I know you will woop this S.O.B.'s ass from here back to hell where it belongs.

PRAYER WORKS KIM...IT MAY NOT BE ON OUR TIME...BUT IT DOES WORK...

And I am praying right now as I write this...and I will keep praying  for you through every minute ...and believe me sugar when I say there are a lot of others HERE that are praying with me for you....and with that said....
GOD BLESS AND SURROUND YOU WITH HIS LIGHT. AMEN.

LOVE,
CARLENE

topazscorpio27 said...

You're definitely in my thoughts.  -Dawn-

emabecmar said...

I am so sorry to hear this news. I will keep you in prayer. ((((((hugs)))))))
Cindy

jmorancoyle said...

    I wish from the bottom of my heart you had other news. I'm sorry. Still, you're in my prayers. My brother-in-law told me that he got through cancer because he got pissed off big time. Stay pissed off, and you'll get through this, too.
Jude
http://journals.aol.com/jmorancoyle/MyWay.

gehi6 said...

Oh, I am so sorry.  So Sorry.  I cannot forget the day that my last companion got the word that he had lung cancer.  I am feeling so much empathy for you right now.  So much.  Gerry  http://journals.aol.com/gehi6/daughters-of-the-shadow-men/  

redpoppy007 said...

I am sorry.  I hope they can find a way to get the tumor out.

pharmolo said...

That is very bad news, Kim. I wish you every ounce of strength to cope with this setback. We're here for you.

nightmaremom said...

I am so sorry to hear this... sending hugs, prayers and good thoughts.
d

hsauls said...

Nothing to say but *Hugs*
So sorry...
heather

wipforever said...

I'm so sorry, Kim.  I really am.  :'(  I'm here for you if you want to talk.  

About time on that PET scan.  Grrrr!  I hate doctors sometimes.

Love and hugs,
Sheila

stupidsheetguy said...

DAMMIT. This really upset me, so I can only imagine.

Another opponent for you to whup. And whup it, you will!

I'm going to say a whole Rosary for you tonight, and THEN I'm gonna yell at God and tell him to cut you a damned break.


Jimmy

madcobug said...

I am so very sorry about this. I will be prayer for you. Helen

sjnunn340 said...

Oh hun i'm so sorry its back - keep up the fight your an inspiration to me and many others. I go to the hospital tommorrow to have a lump checked so my thoughts are with you.

Hugs

Stacey xxxx
http://journals.aol.co.uk/sjnunn340/ups-and-downs-of-life

mariebm56 said...

I am so sorry~....{{{HUGS}}}
Marie

ukgal36 said...

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chaispice1023 said...

oh damn.  you have my prayers - strength to you to fight this.

mzgoochi said...

KIM, I AM SO SO SORRY FOR THIS BAD NEWS BUT PLEASE, WHATEVER YOU DO, DON'T LET IT GET YOU DOWN, YOU CAN BEAT THIS TOO. I'M PRAYING FOR YOU AND SOON AS I'M DONE HERE I'M SENDING OUT AN EMAIL TO FAMILY AND FRIENDS ASKING FOR PRAYER TOO. EVERY TIME I'VE HAD A BIOPSY ON MY LUNG IT COLLAPSED AND HURT SOME BUT DIDN'T TAKE LONG TO CORRECT ITSELF AND THE PAIN MEDS HELPED ALOT. NOT TRYING TO SCARE YOU, JUST GIVING A LIL HEADS UP. I LOVE YA DARLIN. NEVER GIVE UP NO MATTER HOW BAD IT GETS, OK?

GOD BLESS YOU AND HEAL YOU IN JESUS NAME!

LAHOMA

rbrown6172 said...

i am so sorry!  you are in my prayers.  {{{{kim}}}
gina

cvgflydis said...

Feeling NUMB right there with you! I am so freakin sorry this is happening again to you! I swear, I was hoping and praying to GOD to let you slide by "it" this time....My heart is with you and your main squeeze......and your daughters.
Much Love girl!
Angel

sangrialel said...

Please know that my prayers are with you.  You are a warrior I know but even warriors get down.  You will be back up and fighting I know it.  Linda

thinkingoutloud said...

This bit of news sux.

It's time to get your can of whoop-ass out again and have no mercy.

You are in my thoughts and prayers every day. (even though I'm not around much).

Love & bless you, Kim!
Niki

rdautumnsage said...

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am4039 said...

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kcchicago said...

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plieck30 said...

Sorry you had this trip in your path but I know you will fight again. Thinking praying and loving you, Paula

sdoscher458 said...

I missed your alert, MzGoochi sent an email. (((Kim))) please stay strong, I know we're are not walking in your shoes but if I could lessen what you are going through I really would take some of it away from you.  They are doing so much on the cutting edge right now...do not give up hope.  You have lots of people who care about you....love Sandi

littlelady1699 said...

prayers sent....trust in the lord...he will see you though this.

patty

thegirlnexdoor77 said...

Oh Kim!!! Sending prayer your way and will be adding you to several pray chains!  I know you will fight so that I wont say...try to embrace the strength from each of us as I will be praying for you to feel great strength as you battle this!  Hugs,TerryAnn

wickedpink64 said...

CRAP! Looks like the little bastard was wearing a trench coat and dark glasses after all!  Shit! I, like everyone else in J-land am so sorry this is happening to you again, and offer what little help I can from way down under! But know this - Quitters can't win and fighters at least have a chance!  I know which one you are - and I will be part of your support crew all the way to the finish line to see you collect the medal!

Prayers and Hugs

Wendy in Oz

ps: Hair is over rated anyway!

carolhehe said...

I don't know if you have or read the Bible but Psalms 91 make give you some hope and comfort. Sincerely to you.

missy92980 said...

S*&T! My fiance and I are praying for you. As hard as it may be to believe right now, God will pull you through this, just as he did before.  We may not know you personally, Kim, but we do love you. HUGS
Missy92980

jlocorriere05 said...

I'm so sorry to hear this Kim, I came over from Guido's journal. I'll be praying for you along with all the rest of J-Land. We know you can beat this. Jeannette xx  http://journals.aol.co.uk/jlocorriere05/Welcometomytravels/  

ksgal3133 said...

Sending you many prayers!

Gretchen
http://journals.aol.com/ksgal3133/LivinginSavannah2

bobbysgirl8584 said...

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gaboatman said...

Kim
You are in my thoughts and prayers.  There are so many here who are praying for you.  We are here for you.
Sam

seraphoflove9001 said...

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psychfun said...

Remember the "God doesn't bring you to anything you can't handle" idea! I know...that is the funny "Just wished he didn't think I could handle so much" but you can & that is what he is saying! Moment to moment! What a story of survival you will be able to tell & teach others! :-)

rainy35 said...

Dammit!  I'm so sorry Kim.  Know that you are in my thoughts and prayers.
Big hugs,
Dana
http://journals.aol.com/rainy35/RoadToSuccess

topchelseagirl said...

Oh Kim I can't believe it. I was hoping so hard for good news for you. But one thing I do know is that if anyone can kick cancer's ass it is you! You have been so strong for so long and it is so cruel you have to battle on, but the Kim we know and love is a fighter and an inspiration to us all. Remain pissed off at it and fight like hell.
{{{{{{{{{{{{Hugs}}}}}}}}}}
Angie
x

molly146012 said...

Praying for you......Molly

justplainbill said...

Kim. I want God to live you as I do and will be sending his that message tonight. Bill

randlprysock said...

Prayers!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

princesssaurora said...

I just know that you will conquer it again... Your are a fighter and have such joy and love!!!

Sending prayers....

be well,
Dawn
http://journals.aol.com/princesssaurora/CarpeDiem/

chevyz71gurl74 said...

Your gonna kick cancers ass with a vengence this time around.... I am so sorry to hear this news... I will be keeping you and your family in my thoughts and prayers...Always remember you are never alone, we are ALWAYS here for you!
Hugs,
Terri

sunnyside46 said...

just... I love you...that's all I can say
Marti

pprrrr39 said...

I am so very sorry to hear that news.
Stay strong, my thoughts and prayers are with you
hugs
Jayne