My Jim came home yesterday afternoon and all is right in my world for the moment...blessings come in all sizes and you really need to be keenly aware of them and thankful when they happen. I had to give my Jim my bad news over the phone...at the end of the quick conversation I heard his voice crack....that man has been a rock all of our 21 years together and at least being out of town and alone he was finally able to let loose the grief he has been holding back for my sake.....if he was home or with me he would of been my soft place to land, or something life would provide him with yet another interruption....but alone in that hotel room he finally was free of all of his daily bonds and grieved and I am thankful for that....now we see why he was to be out of town and why I was to go to that Doctors appointment all by myself even though many asked to accompany me.
The oldest of our two children were finally told yesterday afternoon as well as the rest of my larger family...each is having a terrible time dealing with the news....My Melissa is so much like me and pissed as hell and all the "what's next as far as options" My Amanda is the soft soul with the large tears and bigger fears...I am going to see the house she just rented in a few minutes and maybe share some breakfast together...My Rachel, my angry at the world child is hiding her fears, but her Doctor as well as myself has seen through the facade and she is now on anti-depressants....My Son...the little old man trapped in the 14 year old body has taken over the head of household role until his Father came home and on his own cleaned the hell out of my house......all three floors and I am so very grateful...he too tries to hide how this is effecting him, he has always been my worrier..the Doctor now has him on anxiety meds....cancer isn't only effecting my life but everyone that cares and loves me and I hate being responsible for bringing so much pain... but we will all deal and I will be back to my feisty self come Tuesday......I am soooo ready to get this started so I can look at cancer and say, "Na na na na na naaaaaaaa!"
Oh, and of course the universe had to throw in "let's break her clothes dryer now too!" Dirty Rat Bass Turds!!! lol lol lol
That just happens to be my all time favorite expression...........Oops, My Bad!!! lol lol lol
Also, a million I love you's too all of you who stop by and cheer up my days....special people you all are and I hope everyone that you love knows that about you! And as far as for my readers that have yet to introduce yourself via the comment section......come on out and say Hi, I would love to get to know you as well!
Today is a beautiful day and I am out the door to enjoy it!