Saturday, March 26, 2005

Those Moments

Parenting.....Sometimes when the "Going gets Rough" I often think of what would my life be like now if I never had children.....my mind drifts to a clothes size somewhere between 3 and 5 (those days seem to be lost forever) and I think about how well off financially we would be (because 4 kids are expensive damn it! LOL) And I think about all the travels and the times we could alone....together....without a care in the world.....because when eventually you do have children....your cares in the world can only be described by the word "infinity"....you no longer care about yourself you care about everything and everybody and how it can or will effect your child.

If I didn't take those few moments of time to secretly think about how easy my life could of been without the worries of raising my kids....I would be overwhelmed with the sometimes difficult and trying times of raising children.........they say that like childbirth itself, when they are grown and gone and they have finally arrived at who they are meant to be, all the stress and the difficult times you sometimes had with them gets erased and only the good times come quickly to mind.

Another way I have keeping my sanity is to sneak in and watch them sleep for a few minutes, I have done this since they left my body..it reminds me how wonderful and precious they are to me (when their mouths aren't running a mile a minute and they aren't fighting with me or their siblings) Thank God for those moments....I need them!

Another way is to go over all the little gifts they have bestowed on me while growing up. I have clay ash trays and pots with tiny remnants of small finger prints from long ago, I have wonderful pictures hand drawn from how they viewed their world around them, I started each child a journal on their life to be given to them when they have experienced all the joy and terror of becoming a parent themselves. It's a manual strictly on them so when they look at me through tears streaked, blood shot eyes and ask me how I got through it all I can hand them each their manual on everything they did good and bad!

I also have these wonderful little books that each gave as a gift when they were in 1st grade. Here are a few excerpts from those pages I hope you laugh, cry and see something that touches your heart.

"This book is dedicated to my Mom because she deserves it" (the very next page is this child's description of me....remind me to kill her later! LOL) My Mom has blonde hair (True) green eyes (False! blue) and weighs 250 lbs (
WHAT!! ..FALSE!!!..WHAT!! her death will be painful
! I have gained some weight but 109 pounds...no feakin way!) If I could give my Mother something it would be $1,000,000,000,000,000,000.00 (OK she has redeemed herself! lmaooooo!) My Mom likes it best when we are not there. (Chit...they picked up on that huh??? LOL LOL LOL) My Mom is so smart she knows what my younger brother is doing even when she can't see him! (SOOO True! smart kid huh??? LOL) My Mom can do many things...she is best at being a Mom! (OK so her death won't be so painful! LOL LOL LOL) This Child is Now 19

"This book is dedicated to the greatest Mom in the world" Her description of me......"My Mom has blond hair, baby blue eyes and is 5 ft 2 inches tall (Close enough) and 148 lbs (At least she was closer than her older sister but....still....OUCH!) "My Mom looks prettiest when she gets ready for a party and wears make up (So much for natural beauty huh?? lol)"If I could give my Mom something it would be 3 hot tubs and pools and 4 houses (She mentions nothing about a Cabana boy or a maid to clean those 4 houses.. Geeeeesh!)" I hope my Mom never forgets me" (As if??? I have stretch marks to always remember the dear by! LOL) "My mommy is always loving, caring, my best friend, outstanding (Suck up! LOL) cuddles me, reassures me, helps me and is always there when I need her. This child is now 13

Now on to my baby, my sons book.  "You are special because you gave me a home, you feed me, you do nice things for me, you take care of me when I am sick, listen to my feelings, you get me off to school (He hates me now for this LOL) You let me do things, you love me and because you are my Mom. He is now 12 (Oddly enough a few of these things Ican see my Husband ticking off if I had asked him why he loves me so much! LOL LOL LOL)

My oldest Daughter is my Step Daughter, so I thought her book should be about her birth Mother and that who she dedicated her book to when she did hers......I know this child loves me and that is all that mattered and fostering a good relationship between her and her birth mother were more important than a book dedicated to me. This child is now 22

I would love to see some of the things you remember about your own kids growing up and for those that haven't chosen children if there is a special moment you had with your own Mother!

5 comments:

anarchitek said...

Kim, What a great entry, how perceptive of you to have started the journals!  I envy you that, among many other things, too many to list here.  I enjoy coming to your corner fo the j-world, for the glimpses of your reality.  It is always a treat.  Bruce

dvlwitgrneyes said...

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mystafymeal4me said...

I loved your entry , My favroit subject!
I also have 3 kids and they are all younger ,but I think my favroit thing my kids like to say about me is that there mommy is stronger than there dad!(hmm I relly dont know why they say theses thing)
Anouther is that I am the best mommy in the world(as I am sure at teen stage this will change but for now I will suck it all in hehe)
I hope you have a good easter
Tabitha

astaryth said...

I think some of my favorite entries over here are the ones about your children... And this was a great one! Happy Bunny Day!
http://journals.aol.com/astaryth/AdventuresofanEclecticMind

mzgoochi said...

You sound like a wonderful Mother Kim.