Thursday, July 27, 2006

That ain't no way to treat a lady........Ü

Ok, Today I go for my mammogram and ultra sound.......for those that haven't had the good fortune to have a mammogram yet, it's equivalent to placing your boob in a window sill and having the window slam down on it! HARD!!!!!! Your Boob is now flattened and protruding several more inches from your body than you ever thought possible........and the part I love best is when the tech say's "now hold your breath and stand still" ..... Who's breathing? I am in too much pain to inhale and as far as moving.......where the hell am I going to go with my boob under glass??? It's not as if I am going anywhere without it......well at least not now! lol

I hold mammogram's about as much fun as a pelvic there's a party there right girls?? It's just another instrument of torture we as women have to endure for the sake of our health. I think that if women have to have their breasts tested in this manner it's only fair that testicle cancer be detected the same way! They get a kinder, gentler test......ultra sound....I'm having one of those done today too....on my breast that is, not my testicles.......... Although I have been told most of my life, I have balls ....But not the kind that gets cancer if you know what I a mean! lol lol lol

Another instrument of torture that was developed for the good of all woman kind was the "epilady" anyone out there that had one and tried it? I got mine as a Christmas gift from my Mother many years ago....I think it was in retaliation for all the hell I put her through as a child!  My Epilady....I guarantee use was all mine got! For those that don't know what an epilady is it was a hand held tool that had a loop of vibrating coils that were to aid in leg hair removal by passing it gently over your legs.........the part that it didn't tell you was that it "RIPPED" the hair right out of your body! Can you say "OUCH!" For my hairy chested male readers out there it's kinda like that piece of jewelry your wife wears that forever is getting caught in your chest hairs and when she moves she takes some chest hair with her......for my husband it's my tennis the year 2025 his furry little chest should be completely hairless..........;) It's a shame cuz I love a hairy chest! lol lol lol

So it is with the Mammography machines, the epiladies and the yearly pelvic exams......Helen Reddy sang about all those years ago when Iwas a child and had no idea what would be in store for me as a woman.... "That ain't no way to treat a lady. No way to treat your baby. Your woman, your friend!" lol lol lol

Hopefully I will get the results of the test early next week and the results will be good and all will be right in my world once again....My Husband Jim who considers himself an expert on my boobs....has promised me that it is NOT breast cancer....that as usual it will be something weird that is wrong with all the other diagnostic testing that I have had all my life that never resulted in a life threatening illness.......just something "Weird"

Seizures - But not epileptic in nature, just seizures that was a result from a childhood head injury

Atrial Fib - But not heart disease in nature, just something my body does from time to time

Thyroid disease - That even after 18 years they still can't regulate with's either too high or too low but never just right

Aging is HELL on the body I tell ya......but do the testing and take care of yourselves........My body is not so much my temple as a way to move my spirit around and I'm not done moving just yet! ;)


jilly78 said...


chat2missie said...


siennastarr said...


sunnyside46 said...

everything I can say would sound trite... know that I do care so much about what happens to you and that you are as much my friend as those I can put my arms around.

schoolgal040 said...