LOVE.........is the best medicine, the best antidepressant, the best pick me up there is out there. I am blessed because I know I am loved! I want to thank you, the ones that I know well and the ones I don't know at all that have sent well wishes my way........When they say the Internet is a dangerous place, we all know it is true but they never talk about the positive things the Internet can brings to ones life, the friends, the instant bonds with people we wouldn't even recognize passing us by on the street. But know this..... my heart would recognize you immediately, even if my mind couldn't make the connection.
I'm not doing very well in public right now, I need the sanctuary of my home, my family and my very good friends. I still have not shed one tear for myself, I only get weepy when I see how this is affecting everyone who loves me and I will never forgive cancer for that. I keep apologizing to those who needed to know and break down with the news. I am sure my break down will come a little later but I am happy that it isn't now. My family and my friends need me to be strong.
Now on to the fun stuff....lol! Even though I am staying out of public right now I needed to be with my family and my friends at the lake last night, so after the days heat and humidity cooled off a bit, Jim and I packed up the kids and went to the lake....seeing the friends that already knew was a little rough, we sniffled, we raged and we made promises to each other.......I promised to fight a hard fight and they promised to be right there by my side! And after a lil bit of too much tequila we all ended up on the pier singing our hearts out to the songs we grew up with, James Taylor, The Carpenters, Bread and John Denver. There were a lot of made up words because af forgotten lyrics and alot of a la la la la la's and something, something somethings (which was very funny) and then when we got tired of our own voices we put on the Motown station.....we laughed and we danced and that felt soooooo good!
A good friend (Jay) disappeared for a few minutes only to come running through the dark down the long pier and with white boxer briefs flying by me at the speed of light he jumped into the lake.....it only took a few seconds longer for the rest of us to look at each other and then yell at the top of our lungs "You only live once!!!" and with that the rest of us fully dressed....joined him!
Thewater was cool and the night was warm and for a few hours or so I wasn't the one with cancer, I was a carefree woman, giggling like the little girl that once took up residence in this body of mine and all was right with my world again! I love those perfect moments and knowing that will be one of the wonderful memories that I can hold onto on those days where I won't wanna be where I'm at.........That will be one of the place I can 'will' my mind and my body to go too, when it doesn't want to be where it's at.
I am loved and it doesn't get any better than that!