Saturday, July 29, 2006

A Million Thank You's!!!!

LOVE.........is the best medicine, the best antidepressant, the best pick me up there is out there. I am blessed because I know I am loved! I want to thank you, the ones that I know well and the ones I don't know at all that have sent well wishes my way........When they say the Internet is a dangerous place, we all know it is true but they never talk about the positive things the Internet can brings to ones life, the friends, the instant bonds with people we wouldn't even recognize passing us by on the street. But know this..... my heart would recognize you immediately, even if my mind couldn't make the connection.

I'm not doing very well in public right now, I need the sanctuary of my home, my family and my very good friends. I still have not shed one tear for myself, I only get weepy when I see how this is affecting everyone who loves me and I will never forgive cancer for that. I keep apologizing to those who needed to know and break down with the news. I am sure my break down will come a little later but I am happy that it isn't now. My family and my friends need me to be strong.

Now on to the fun stuff....lol! Even though I am staying out of  public right now I needed to be with my family and my friends at the lake last night, so after the days heat and humidity cooled off a bit, Jim and I packed up the kids and went to the lake....seeing the friends that already knew was a little rough, we sniffled, we raged and we made promises to each other.......I promised to fight a hard fight and they promised to be right there by my side! And after a lil bit of too much tequila we all ended up on the pier singing our hearts out to the songs we grew up with, James Taylor, The Carpenters, Bread and John Denver. There were a lot of made up words because af forgotten lyrics and alot of a la la la la la's and something, something somethings (which was very funny) and then when we got tired of our own voices we put on the Motown station.....we laughed and we danced and that felt soooooo good!

A good friend (Jay) disappeared for a few minutes only to come running through the dark down the long pier and with white boxer briefs flying by me at the speed of light he jumped into the lake.....it only took a few seconds longer for the rest of us to look at each other and then yell at the top of our lungs "You only live once!!!" and with that the rest of us fully dressed....joined him!

Thewater was cool and the night was warm and for a few hours or so I wasn't the one with cancer, I was a carefree woman, giggling like the little girl that once took up residence in this body of mine and all was right with my world again! I love those perfect moments and knowing that will be one of the wonderful memories that I can hold onto on those days where I won't wanna be where I'm at.........That will be one of the place I can 'will' my mind and my body to go too, when it doesn't want to be where it's at.

I am loved and it doesn't get any better than that!

13 comments:

ann7inflorida said...

{{{Kim}}} Holy shit. I am so sorry. I know that we've just met so I'm just getting to know you. So far what I've seen has been a VERY STRONG woman who GLOWS!  You will get through this!!! You are in my thoughts and prayers and if you need anything, even if it's someone to talk to, I'm here. ~Ann

cneinhorn said...

yes, you are loved and you have a support system and you call if you need anything.  

astaryth said...

Yep, you got a load of us out here in 'cyberspace' pulling for you.... and the great thing about a journal is that when you want to rant, rave, etc it's definitely a good place to go! {{{Hugs}}}

imshadowraven2 said...

You my friend are very loved by many and the only thing i do wanna say is honey breaking down doesnt mean your weak its just a release valve is how i like to think of it. And im so glad you had fun at the lake remember they say............Laughter is the best medicine next to Tequila............love Robin

siennastarr said...

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xomywayox said...

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eml625 said...

I wanted to wish you the best..... stay strong.
I've been reading for a long time....mostly a  lurker, but have commented some in the past. My thoughts and prayers are with you and your family.
hugs,
Ellen

candlejmr said...

Ain't this J-Land the BEST???  You can be sure that we will ALL be here whenever you need us.  I know that I, for one, am here for the LONG HAUL.   Whatever you need, whenever you need it, just give a yell.

((hugs))
Jeanne
http://journals.aol.com/candlejmr/AJourneytoaNewMe/

PS...And just for the record, I think you should have done a little SKINNY DIPPING yourself!!! (lol)

pippa1116 said...

you are right. love is the best cure all there is.  even for cancer. and so is prayer. so I wll put you in MY prayers. tina http://journals.aol.com/pippa1116/SteelMagnolia

am4039 said...

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chat2missie said...

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sunnyside46 said...

and thank you for the laughs, the stories and the inspiration
Marti
http://journals.aol.com/sunnyside46/MidlifeMusings

pennietoonz said...

Gosh, those perfect moments mean so much!

Each battle with cancer is different. I was so sick when I was diagnosed, I could barely stand and was whisked straight to the hospital and boy, did I cry!
You have a great attitude, girl. Email me if you ever feel the need. Sounds like you`ve got some great friends, and I`m so happy for that. It`s my hope that I can help others .... give something positive back for what cancer did to me and my family. It CAN be beat!!!

Thanks for visiting my journal.
Love and prayers,
Penny
http://journals.aol.com/pennietoonz/PennysPlace