Monday, June 12, 2006

Out of the mouths of babes

Usually, when you least expect it, you hear a 'pearl' come out of the mouths of one of your babes! And when it secretly scream "YES!" inside your own head!! We all have our BAD family traits that are either knowingly passed down from one generation to the next and sometimes it is unknowingly passed down through observations or lack of someone trying to correct it. To counter balance any negative influence from previous generations, all it takes is for someone to break the cycle.

I have broken a few family cycles, I come from a long line of alcoholics and lets face it, not a lot of good choices come from those who abuse alcohol among other things. At least with my family most other bad habits can be traced back to the alcohol addiction, physical abuse, mental abuse and infidelity, most were visited upon during an alcoholic induced haze, I also believe the intent and capability to do so has to be in there too somewhere.

My Mother was the first to make a change in her family line ( she doesn't even qualify as a social drinker), both her parents were stay at home alcoholics, My Father and his side of the family drank here, there and everywhere. Out of my Parents three children, two know when to stop (total social drinkers) the other has to drink to be social.

Another cycle I was able to break was racism, I don't allow it in my home or around my children and I am not quiet about it when it is displayed around my children. I teach tolerance of all cultures in my home and I am very proud to say my children preach tolerance too! A few weeks ago while out with a crowd, the old "Those people" isms started, I was quiet about it for maybe a minute then I stated my usual mantra about it "Since I am trying to raise my children to be tolerant of all cultures, I would appreciate it if you would not use "Those Terms" in front of my children." Since that basically shocks people into a stunned silence for a few minutes because one, they are used to speaking that way, and two, they are very used to people who share my view not speaking up about it. Sometimes a get an icy glare shot my way, as if I was the one insulting them, but most times I get an apology and we go about our merriment with mutual respect on both of our parts.

So on this same occasion, the same offender who was drinking quite heavily at this point either ignored my request or in a drunken stupor forgot my request and continued and it was at this time that my now 15 year old daughter said to this person, "So, how would you like it if I didn't like you just because your racist??" and then she walked away from this person. I was very proud of that little girl of mine and I have to say she definitely inherited her Momma's Moxy! lol lol lol

Everyone is entitled to their own beliefs, what they are not entitled to do is force their beliefs on other people, this world is a big enough place for everyone, IF everyone can learn a little respect for other people's beliefs and cultures in a respectful manner...... I am not niave, I know we don't live in a perfect world but for a moment, at least my world was perfect!


nolefan38 said...

You are so right-- some people are just plain rude and have no respect for themselves or anyone. They will find life in the real world hard to handle. I hope you have a gret day.   Sherry@>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>

thegirlnexdoor77 said...

I actually had the same thing happen this weekend...When I for once said something about the racist comments...they all looked at me like I was stupid and everyone kept doing whatever it is they were doing....Atleast my children...have a better veiw point...when I was younger...I would not eat peanut butter and jelly sandwhiches cause my grandfather told lme I would turn black and be sold as a weird is that....And I still remember hurting my black male friends feelings cause he said he wanted to be white and I told he couldn't cause he was a chocolate drop...I hate the moment in time....and hate the fact that my family told me such cruel things at an early age of 5......Thank God I grew up moved away and always never hated because of race...I joined the army met a military man and raised my first with no racist in her what so ever...After divorcing...and after the first racist remarks came from my other two childrens family...I just informed you don't not my children...!!!!  I was told what are you gonna do if she wants to marry one...well...let me see..does he have a job...does he treat her right...does he love her....answer thank God she didn't choose a loser like you!!!!...hugs,TerryAnn

dwhee70041 said...


ann7inflorida said...

BURN! ... Er.. I mean -Way to go kiddo!- All joking aside, I couldn't agree with you more. Great entry!

siennastarr said...


am4039 said...


sunnyside46 said...

Yes it has to stop somewhere