I was probably around 20 years old in this photo.......the same age as my middle daughter is now (Amanda) seems like yesterday until I realize in that photo I was wearing a size 3 Levi's! I know I wasn't 21 yet because this photo was taken in a bar in Downtown Chicago called O'Sullivans and my girlfriends sisters R&B band used to have a gig there every weekend, and every weekend us almost 21 something year old's used to be able to get in, drink, dance and do it all over again the next night.
It was at this time that I honed my music tastes....I fell in love with the blues, it is still my favorite music and I can't help but 'move' to it when I listen to it now......"Sweet Home Chicago" they have a blues fest every year and every year I say I am going, but now that I am even farther away from the city and still feeling the 'burn out' from hanging out there in my youth, I have to admit I like the quiet suburban life. I have lived off and on in Chicago since I was 4 years old and I have still yet to go to the "Taste of Chicago." Downtown doesn't have the pull over me as much as it did say 25 years ago and Rush Street and Division (Chicago's night time hot spots) was were I spent my entire 21 year daring every bouncer I came across to go ahead and card me! No more fake ID's for me I was 21 and having the time of my life! What I wouldn't do just to have that kind of energy again.........sigh.....but then again I wasn't this content with my life as I am now....but to be able to dance the night away, night after night and to not have to pay for it the next day......ahhhhhhh youth and the endless energy that goes along with it.
I think the reason for all this melancholy is that Melissa is getting married and on the brink of starting her adult life.....she's 23, getting married, already a homeowner and talking about starting a family.......that is when time escapes you. The baby seems like a baby for so long and then at the speed of light, they are all grown up and living their own lives. Where did all that time go?
I think I am 'stuck' in that in between stage.....the one where half the time you want them to be all grown up and ontheir own and the other half wishes they were still adorable little babies smelling like "No More Tears" and "Baby Magic" all over again. I know once I do become a (gulp) Grandmother I will get the best of both worlds......adult children and their babies to spoil rotten and then send them home!
I look at that picture above and remember that I didn't have a care in the world, I spent that time in my life flying back and forth from Chicago (were my family was) and New York (where I lived with my boyfriend at the time) and Daytona (where we spent 5 months of winter every year because we both hated snow) at that time I had no idea that my life was going to be any different than it was then. That boyfriend was not my forever love, my forever love was waiting for me when I came back ...along with the path that led me to my life that I am living now......I don't care what you call it...fate, destiny, God's plan............I am where I should be and I am blessed......but DAMN IT I wanna fit in those damn jeans again!!!!!! lol lol lol
I am so on my way!!!!!! Ü