This is 4th in a series.....to read from the beginning click ~~> on this link Where does one begin? (1)
Now mind you this is a conversation I had between 12:00 a.m. to 2:30 in the morning!. I was livid with this woman to begin with, what right did she have to call my daughters home in the middle of the night just to upset her? Where is this woman's common decency? I think only crazy people call to confront people in the middle of the night anyway.
By the end of our conversation, she was in tears giving me every excuse as to why she lashes out at my daughter and why she treats her own son the way she does, I had to remind her several times that this 'intervention' wasn't about her it was about her son W! Here is yet another one of her rambling's on that night.
Her: I was raised in a very controlling home by a mother who was over bearing herself........(now she tells me this part in tears, in a whiney voice that makes nails on a chalk board sound pleasant!) When I wanted to get married (boo hoo's some more) I wanted to have the blue bridesmaid dresses....my Mother wouldn't let me have the blue bridesmaid dresses ( now she's about to the hyper ventilate ) my sister had just gotten married the year before I did and she has her bridesmaid dressed in blue.........My mother forbade me to have the blues dresses because (now she is sobbing quietly for a minute or two) My Mother didn't want me to have the blue bridesmaid dresses because she didn't want the wall of family portraits and wedding pictures to show both mine and my sister's wedding photo's with both sets of bridesmaids dressed in blue ( now she can barely catch her breath.
I literally had to put the phone down for a minute, I was about to loose it myself ( not in a good way either).....I composed myself and said, what the hell does that have to do with the current situation your son is in? This isn't about you Sharon! it's about W!!!!
I told her she needed therapy! Hell! Her whole family probably needed counseling! But that my main concern was her Son's welfare even if it was not her main concern. This is when she told me she's already had counseling.....I couldn't help myself, I just had to say, "And hows that working for you Sharon?"
In the end I realized this woman is a poor excuse of a Mother and even what made it even sadder, a complete social idiot..........She apologized to my daughter for her treatment of her, which never held sincerity in it anyway, and I told her that if she ever harassed my child again, she would have to deal with me, on her doorstep. I told her that she didn't need to "parent" my child, that is my job and had her own family to deal with! I told her I finally knew why W would rather be alone, broke, and ill living on the streets then live under the influence of his Mother! In the end she admitted everythinig that I had to say about her was true, that my assumption of her was correct. I found out later, that W's Father would help W from time to time but always did it behind his wife's back......what kind of Man/Dad can't stand up for his Son? I filed him under the 'Idiot file' also.
W ended up in the psych ward for almost 3 weeks with a diagnosis of Schizophrenia, It had nothing to do with my Daughter, it is mental illness, and for W's parents who's Father is a Pharmacist and who's Mother is a registered nurse....how skilled are they if they actually think my daughter would be capable of bringing this out in their son. His own doctor thinks it has been going on long before W even met my daughter. He is responding well to treatment and his medication for now, but with this illness, the patient will at some point think they will no longer need their medicine and most go off of it, only to have another episode land them back in the hospital and/or back on their meds......there isn't a cure only a treatment for it.
I don't know what their reason is to pass this all off on my daughter, maybe they would have to admit they are/were terrible parents not to see the signs, maybe they are just the kind of parent who blames other kid parents for their own children's lack of responsibility in making some of the choices they did. What cracks me up most about this, was the Mother's insistence on W showing up at their church to have the "perfect family photo" shot, for all their church going friends to see. I wonder what the church crowd would have thought of her making her ill child sleep on a porch instead of his own bed.......would they think that was very Christian like? I'm beginning to see it's all about appearances!