This is 3rd in a series.....to read from the beginning click ~~> on this link Where does one begin? (1)
Even though I wished Amanda would not have had more than a casual friendship with W, wishing was not going to make it happen, it will have to run its course. Like I said, I liked W.....just not for my daughters boyfriend. Even though he had been homeless for 2 years, without a job, a felony record, (driving related) still on probation, I ALWAYS treated him with kindness and respect, I opened up my family and my home to him, I gave him guidance whenever he asked it of me, he is a very likable young man, he is only guilty of making a few really stupid decisions when he was 18 (didn't we all?)
And now for this woman, to disrespect my daughter in any and every way she could was something I could not sit back and tolerate. Now mind you I could hear her at times screaming from he other end of Amanda's house phones while Amanda was trying to tell me what was going on through her cell phone, I heard the garbage spewed at my daughter, but as soon as she found out I was now on the same phone conversation thanks to the technology of 3 way calling, her tone and manner changed drastically, she might think she can bully a naive girl of 19, but NOT this Momma Bear!
I began telling her that W has talked to me several times about his youth and home life, she attempted to speak to me, I informed her NOT to interrupt me again, until I was finished! Her reasons for having W homeless at first seemed like the very same reasons Amanda was pushed out of the nest, He didn't want to follow house rules, I didn't have a problem with that. With children, especially if you have more than one child has to abide by at least a few house rules. But some of this woman's treatment to her son, was in excusable. Below are excerpts of our conversation.
I said I understood why W left their house and because he showed no motivation on self improvement, I understood why she let him, at the time he had just turned 18. One night W had become very ill and needed to see a doctor. He wouldn't go, because he didn't have the insurance or the money for the visit. I remember when Amanda was out on her own and staying at different friend houses every night so she could be with W, she too had become very ill. Now even with me mad as hell at her at the time, that was MY BABY, there was no way I was going to have her out on the street, with no place to go when she was ill, I went and picker her up, brought her home, fed her, took her to the doctor, picked up her medicine and made sure she was getting her health back, I could be mad at her again.....when she was well, but right now my Mother instincts kicked in and I nursed her back to health. She left again of her own accord when she was well, to be back with W instead of working.
Now when I discovered W had caught the respiratory infection that Amanda was just starting to get over, W had no place to go, As much as I liked him W was never going to be an over night guest in my home. I still have the two younger children that at young teens and are very impressionable so sleep overs would never be an option. Amanda dropped W off at his parents that night and came home to finish getting well herself.
Conversation bits with W mother..........
I told her I understood her disappointment in her son, but what kind of Mother could leave her child, the baby she gave birth to, out on the streets suffering while he was sick? I told her of my own experience with Amanda when she was sick, that I had to put away our differences while she was ill and get my child well again and what did she do for her child? Did she welcome him into her own? NO! Did she seek medical attention for him? NO! Did she offer him food? NO! did she at least try to alleviate his symptoms with over the counter medicine? NO! did she at least let him sleep in his own bed during his illness? NO..........she made him sleep on their porch!!! I found out this is where W would go sleep some nights when he didn't have a buddy's house to crash at.
Her response to my questions............
Hers:......... I'm very sensitive to cigarette smoke and he smokes!
Mine: So does Amanda, but I don't allow anyone to smoke in my house she along with any guest that I might have at my home does their smoking outside!
Hers: but he stank very bad of stale cigarettes!
Mine: So make him take a hot shower, have him wash his cloths and let him sleep in his own bed for the night, NOT ON A DAMN PORCH! burning with fever on above 95 degree summer nights!
Her final response: but....but......it's a very nice porch! it's a three season porch!
Mine: I said, Lady do you know how ridiculous you sound to me right now, that is your child and he was ill!