Thursday, January 19, 2006

The many layers of me......

           peelingbirch.jpg


I was born an innocent, we all were. My childhood was of another matter. Enduring what I had to endure,  I added layer upon layer of brick and motor which I had to apply to save the little girl lost in me. I managed to keep her safe even though there were plenty of times I thought I lost her for sure. My saving grace came from my Mother's love for me. She is was made a difference in my outcome as an adult. Because of her I did not succumb to the dark side even though I had plenty of bruising inside and out, to send and keep me there.

After therapy I learned how to peel back the many layers of me. Each layer had a purpose of being there, a reason for it's existence. But in order to become who I am today, I had to shed those layers no matter how painful the process was....... because under all those layers I was able to find my inner self, my inner beauty.

I did not want my childhood to define who I was even though it had a part of who I am today. I see to many people letting their past hold them back and even hold them under, when the power to set themselves free was in their own hands. Every once in awhile I will have that fleeting moment when something happens and it takes me back to my childhood, but it no longer silences me. I speak up, I defend my existence and I let it be known that no one has the power to make me feel less than I am.

When your a child you have no choice and you have no voice but as an adult, people do to you what you allow them to do to you, it is up to you to find your self worth and let it be known to others.

14 comments:

rap4143 said...

Oh I love the photo and you entry!!!
Betty

ashleekr said...

Great entry!
Ashlee

ashleekr said...

Great entry!
Ashlee

thegirlnexdoor77 said...

I know what you are talking about.  I too have so many things that are painful from my childhood.  I am still trying to sort through them.  And this is one of the ways.  They are going to be voting on Jessicas law in about a week.  Please contact you reps and ask them to please pass this law.  Be the voice of a child who can not speak it might be your own.  i called all the rep for the state of ks and it took only 20 minutes or so.  Please.  

I do love your journal and will continue to read.  Do have a great rest of the week TerryAnn.  http://journals.aol.com/thegirlnexdoor77/GoinCrazy/
Nice entry today.

siennastarr said...

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chat2missie said...

WOW!!  The pic of the tree with the layers, and your entry is just wonderful!!
Missie :)

sdoscher458 said...

You came through it like a piece of well forged steel, hammered by life...yet able to vibrate - singing your own song loud and clear. I love your pictures....Sandi http://journals.aol.com/sdoscher458/LifeIsFullOfSurprises

deveil said...

powerful entry!  Thanks for this one Kim!  

Derek

shayshaydc said...

Great entry!!!!! And a perfect picture to go with it!!!! http://journals.aol.com/shayshaydc/Golfaholic
Sharon:)

shadierush said...

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sunnyside46 said...

it's never too late to have a happy childhood
Marti

zosche973 said...

Good entry.....and you found the PERFECT photo! Thanx for sharing, hon.~Diane~

kktaylorcc said...

Excellent Picture to go with excellent thoughts.  Isn't it funny how we held on to so many things that just held us back?  Glad to wander into your journal today.  Thanks!  Taylor

kachina321 said...

MAY THE REST OF YOUR DAYS BE AS FINE AS THIS WRITTING. THE BARK OF THE TREE IS JUST THE TOP LAYER.

PEEL BACK THE REST TO SEE ALL THOSE WONDERFUL GROWTH RINGS THAT WE TEND TO FORGET ABOUT.

SOME MIGHT BE BAD SOME GOOD. REMEBER THEM ALL, FOR THOSE WHO FORGET ARE DOOMED TO RELIVE THE PAST.
                                                                 GOD BLESS YOU THROUGHOUT