Sunday, May 15, 2005

Yet another curve ball....

When life throws you curve balls...........


Yesterday was one of those days....we all have them....there's usually a lesson to be taught, a lesson to be learned and a mental image burned so deep you don't make that mistake a second time.


My husband took our youngest son with him to the store to pick up a few things we needed for the lake, every weekend is spent at the lake among friends and family, its a safe place to let the kids run free and the parents can sit back and enjoy other adult company and conversation.


Lil Jimmy decided to make a bad decision........he saw a small package of Nike sweat wrist bands and took them without paying for them......yes, he shoplifted. Now DH didn't even realize this until they were half way home.....what did DH decide to do you ask? He decided to let Mom handle it.............Thanks HUN!!!!


My son tearfully told me what he did, but could not explain to me or himself why he did it. I said, "You know we are going back to the store and finding the store manager and make this right don't you?" And as he hung his head in shame he whispered "Yes" I said it's not only the right thing to do, but it will make you feel better about yourself, because I'm sure your not feeling good about you right now, are you?" He whispered, " No.... I'm not ." He actually asked or should I say begged to be grounded forever, have some of his favorite things taken away from him, even spanked.......anything but suffer the humiliation of admitting to the Manager what he did, he was truly embarrassed........But I thought good lesson..... taught the hard way.


We drove to his bank, took out a 10 dollar withdrawal, and drove silently back to the store, I asked to speak to the manager at the service desk, I was asked as to why, I stated personal reasons and we waited for the Manager to arrive. Within a few minutes he approached us, I introduced myself and my son and told him my son had something to tell him, he escorted us to his office with my son in a hyperventilation state (true). We gave him a moment to catch his breath, I gave him a wink and he spilled his guts.


The Manager was a very nice man, who told my son that he didn't have to come back to the store and own up to what he did, and then he praised him for taking responsibility for what he did. He gave him a run down of what could of happened to my son, if they decided to press charges or if he was actually caught shoplifting.......the police would of been called, other agencies because he was a minor, and how his parents can be held liable for him with the store having the right to collect up to 10 times the amount stolen......My son apologized to the Manager and then to me and told the manager he wanted to do the right thing and pay for the item with his own money.


Now for Mom's twist on what to do........Yes, I made my Son pay for the item.... tax and all, but he was not allowed to buy the item, the item was returned to the store and the money given was donated to the stores current fundraiser, which happened to be for breast cancer research.


I told my Son that there are going to be plenty of times that I might not be proud of him or his choices, but that I.... his Momma is always going to love him and even though he made a wrong decision that day, I was very proud of him when he stood up and took responsibility for it. He was able to walk out of there with his head held up high again because he righted the wrong that he did and felt better about himself. I'm sure he's going to remember that ride home from the store (when he was caught), the ride to his bank and then the ride back to the store with that long walk back to the Managers office......it was probably the longest 45 minutes of his 12 year old life.


A lesson, a lil humiliation and a hug and all was right in the world again.

15 comments:

g1itterkat said...

Well DOne! You handled that really well, i just had similar problem with my 9yr old, i cought him and a little girlfriend poking twigs into a neighbours car door lock! i too took him around to the neighbours house and tell him what they had done ( i also inisisted that little girls mother did same with her daughter) after checking his locks on car, everything was fine with no damage, but i asked the guy to give them telling off and lecture about what would have happened if damage had been caused etc... he is also grounded for a week and no computer games for whole of weekend! needless to say he too is very sorry!
Jay

imperfectlyavg said...

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hestiahomeschool said...

Your son is lucky to have you for his mother.

cherry2sweet2eat said...

wow i think you handled that well..i've done that once and once i went to sleep i had nightmares about swat team kickin down my door and the manager beat me to death so will i do it again nope i luv my sanity

astaryth said...

::applause:: Perfect handling of the situation!!!!!
http://journals.aol.com/astaryth/AdventuresofanEclecticMind

dornbrau said...

To my knowledge my kids have never shoplifted before, but I would handle it the way you dif IF I were the one to catch them.  When I was working at the store we had a lot of concerned parents who did that, and then there were the ones who's kids got caught in the act by our people and the parents would immediately deny everything and try to protect their children, which actually gave the kids the wrong message... and I wouldn't have been surprised if those children were repeat offenders.  The saddest thing I ever saw was a lady who got caught shoplifting, and her 8 year old daughter was an accomplice.  Then there was the young mother who left her 2 year old child in the car in the parkinglot while she came in to steal some dvds and makeup.  She didn't tell us and after she went to the police station to be booked her mother came in screaming about about finding her grandbaby.  It took us another half hour to find the car with the young child in it.  The car wasn't even locked, I guess the mother was hoping for a quick get away.
I admire you and your handling of the situation.  And I admire your son who made a bad decision but did was was right in the end.  I wish all parents were like you.  

mawmellow said...

I always knew you were an AMAZING woman.  This definitely puts the seal of approval on it !!
Here's a hug for you......((((Demandn)))))) I'm sure Jimmy wasn't the only one needing a hug by the end of all this!!!!!!

sunnyside46 said...

I think you handled itvery well!
I am really shocked over something similiar. I have a friend whos two girls, 15 & 17 have been my nonbiological neices all thier lives. She found out Thursday thaht they  had stolen 1000 dollars from her bank account ! They would not even admit to it until she stated she would call the police! I am heartsick over this!These were always such sweet girls! It makes me see them in a whole new light!
she is making them get jobs to pay her back at 20 5 interest. She said if it happens again she will have to consider alternative living arrangemnets for them! imagine stealing from your mama!
Marti

plieck30 said...

A-1 mother and son in my book. Paula

dragonspirituscg said...

I admit that humiliation is a great lesson.  I was caught riding the train door by two officers and they embrassed me in front of my high school friends.  I never did it again because I still remember my friends laughing at me.  Don't worry, he won't forget it.  KJ

angelm0304 said...

You truly are a wonderful mother.  If I ever get put in that situation i would like to think I would handle it the same way as you did.   You have a wonderful son And I am sure you are so proud of him.  Kids are going to be kids but your son made things right and that speaks for itself.
Hugs,
Angel
http://journals.aol.com/angelm0304/MyLife

judithheartsong said...

you are a good mom. judi

samnsmile5 said...

What a great story...I can imagine the emotions you were going through and especially your son.  It's tough as a parent to see our kids make bad choices...but you did such a great job in helping him learn from it and in letting him know how much you still love him.  He wont ever forget this!  
Thanks for sharing.
Michele
http://journals.aol.com/samnsmile5/LettingItAllSinkIn

brandyp0509 said...

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mzgoochi said...

Kim, I'd print this out and save it for when he's grown. You're an awesome Mother.

Lahoma