Friday, March 23, 2007

I'm beginning to dread when my phone rings......

The good news is that the Breast MRI came back just fine....I even breathed a deep sigh of relief.....until I heard the word.....But.

Ok, In my head I hear myself thinking, "OK, the other shoe is about to drop, once again.....

Dr. Office: But what they did detect was a "suspicious lesion" in your lung now.
Me: What? (even though I was really thinking more along the lines of WTF?) Now what?

Dr. Office: "Well, the MRI is not a good diagnostic tool for lung x-rays, so you will have to go to the hospital for a cat scan of your lungs now. Have you ever had a lung CT?
Me: By now I think just about every part of my body has had a CT and a MRI....how soon can we get this done?

Dr. Office: I already went and set you up an appointment for ASAP and that date is next Friday 3:00 p.m.
Me: Is that the soonest they can see me?

Dr Office: Yes, but you can check back all next week and see if there are any cancellations......Kim, I know it's hard but try not to worry.
Me: Me? Worry? As I go running for the shelter of this Momma's little helper (My little bottle of XANAX) I'll try not to worry

Within a half an hour I had no more worries......I have a feeling I will be using that lil pill for more than just sleep over the next week or so.


 


Dear God, (part 2)



So God, even though I am extremely grateful for the benign results of the cervix biopsy and then the good news on my right breast results (May my left breast rest in peace)....can ya give me just one more pass? I'm beginning to loose a lil of my sunny disposition in all this....so one more negative test result would really be helpful.

So again............I sit, I wait and I wonder and now that pimple issue don't seem so bad right now! lol lol lol


But seriously....I'm getting a lil battle weary

43 comments:

lindaggeorge said...

Kim,

All will be well, keep taking the tablets until you get another negative result.

Linda x.

nojesusfreaks said...

Let me know how that turns out for you.  Sending some happy thoughts and hugs. :)

gandsbrock said...

Ugh, ugh, ugh.  You are in my thoughts and prayers.  What a long week it will be.
Stephanie

lanurseprn said...

It's the battle of your life and for your life.  Sometimes it just takes  a bit longer to win.  Take that Xanax, cuddle up with Jim, and you'll be ok.
Pam

hsauls said...

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ann7inflorida said...

Hang tight, Kim... It's just one more blip on the map that you will come through with flying colors.   Thank god for xanax. It's probably the sole reason I haven't choked the shit out of my ex-husband yet. ;)  

wipforever said...

Damned Kim!  I'm so sorry to hear of this new pain in the arse.  If I'm not mistaken, I think your doctor can do a PET scan - which scans the entire body for cancer.  You might want to ask about this.  Seems a little ridiculous to be putting you through of this piecemeal.

Hang in there, my friend!  Don't lose faith or hope now!

Love, hugs, and many blessings
Sheila

emabecmar said...

I shall keep you in prayers. ((((hugs))))
Cindy

lazarai said...

And THAT is perfectly understandable, Kim!! That said, I know you will keep on fighting....

Sending good thoughts and lots of hugs,
:) Carol

inquestoftruth said...

Adding your lung to my prayers now.
~Meg

kirkbyj05 said...

Yet another knock to your un-penetrative armour Kim.   You are a warrior!  I once said to myself during the rough patches of my cancer journey.."Bloody hell!  I'm awake again?  So.. two feet went down on the floor and I found the day just took on a pattern of its own.  One day at a time angel...one day at a time.  You are so gutsy and wonderful.  You will make it.  Praying for you and others like you too.  Jeanie. ((((hug)))xx

wickedpink64 said...

Suspicious lesion huh? Was it wearing a large hat,dark glasses and a trench coat? How do they know it was suspicious?... I just sayin!!!  Anyway, in the meantime, I will be sending lots of good vibes your way, breath 'em in deep to those suspicious lungs of yours! Oh, and whoever said before about a PET scan is right. Does the whole body at once - ask your doc about it, its worth a shot!

Have a beautiful Xanax weekend!

Hugs,

Wendy in Oz

candlejmr said...

Ok, enough is enough.  If I am exhausted just LISTENING to your stories, I cannot for one minute imagine what it is like to BE you...so, I declare, here and now...ENOUGH IS ENOUGH!!!  Listen here you damned "suspicious lung lesion" who is too chicken to show it's face and actually BE something....GO BACK TO WHERE YOU CAME FROM.  We don't want you showing yourself around my friend Kim's lung AT ALL.  Go find someone else's lung to bother.....like maybe some terrorist or some bad person and leave this nice, loving, caring, sensitive, strong person alone...because, she might be strong, but for God's sake....ENOUGH IS ENOUGH!!!

So there.....

Hang in there my friend.....
Love and ((hugs))
Jeanne

astaryth said...

Geez! You would think you would catch a break! That said I'm sending even -more- positive thoughts winging your way! Just remember they are being extra cautious, and that is a good thing... even if it is driving you crazy.. which is a BAD thing!
http://journals.aol.com/astaryth/AdventuresofanEclecticMind/
http://adventuresofaneclecticmind.blogspot.com/

midwestvintage said...

One thing after another. Lets just hope its another thing which turns out to be nothing.  Keeping you in my prayers.
                    Julie

glensfork4 said...

I would request a PET scan....Sending GOOD thoughts & prayers your way...

Michele
http://journals.aol.com/glensfork4/these-are-my-thoughts/

sangrialel said...

I will be saying a few extra prayers for you this week Kim!  Your a warrior!  Linda

cacklinrosie101 said...

Kim, I see many talking about the PET.  Actually, it's excellent because it covers the whole body and would reveal any "hot" spots that may be hiding somewhere.  This would be the end of all this stress and continual testing.  The battles continue but the warrior in you will win the war.  Many hugs...Chris

randlprysock said...

Hang in there!  Eat lots of veggies and do all you can do and keep us posted.  Hugs,
Lisa

kidzmakeucrazy said...

ahh hang in there kim he is just testing you, giving all the more reason to be grateful, take care, and have wonderful weekend..MISSY

ajquinn354 said...

Kim, one day at a time dear, know it's not easy hearing the BUT, just keep the spirit , the good news is your Breast MRI came back, more likely the other is going to be ok also dear.  Know we are here alsways for you. Why oh why do they make us wait so long for any test they want us to have....that is always such a stress, like you we would rather all get it done like yesterday....always in my thoughts and prayers.  So you don't want the skin stuff I offered for the pimples huh, lol.  Arlene (AJ)

nhd106 said...

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chevyz71gurl74 said...

Hoping the CT reveals good news as well....
I know it must be scary for you...but look what
you have overcome in the past Kim...stay strong!
Keeping you in my thoughts and prayers...
Hugs,
Terri

therealstephhull said...

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chat2missie said...

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mumma4evr said...

my Mom has a suspicious lesion on her lung.  We were told the only way to fully find out was to do surgey.  They did surgery and it turned out to be hair and finhernail material.  Praying it turns out to be something as strange as that!
Becky

inafrnz247 said...

I'm praying for that 'pass' right along with you, Kim...  

::tight hug::

Michelle

sdoscher458 said...

Hon I've got so many things crossed for good luck for you I'm having trouble walking! Seriously, just take in all the good feelings coming at you across the net...Sandi

pharmolo said...

Keep going, Kim. Hope that lung scare is nothing more than that - a scare. Mind if I link to you in my sidebar (about Cancer & Chronic Illness)?

tendernoggle said...

They found a suspicious "nodual" on one of my lung too...and I had the cat scan...and they found NOTHING! It was just a fluke.....and I am betting your is too.
Keep your head up...
love ya,
carlene

witstar2 said...

hang in there!  *hugs*  

ruffkiller said...


Hi I was just reading your journal entry for 3- 24-07. I had to see what "I shaved my legs for this" was about.

I am sorry to read of your iillness. Breast Cancer is fairly common among woman but it doesn't hurt any less to hear about it.

I was diagnosed with Depression in June of 2000. I am familiar with quite a few medictons but xanax is a personal favorite. You can really feel that work quickly. Be carefull with it though. They are so little they look like candy.

About God, of course that's a personal decision. I've had many challenges (only so much crap) in my life that there have been times when my belief wavered. The truth is that I have come to realize and believe that God loves us even more than we love ourselves. He believes in us...He forgives when we can't forgive ourselves.

I retired iin 2001 and have been on Social Security Disability since 2002. My wife is also on SSD. I just came out of a day program at a mental facility in our area. I went in for anger and memory loss issues. I figured it was the Depression affecting the memory loss. It was n't. They think i have Dementia. I am a 51 year old male. I hope God can help my family be strong should their diagnosis be correct. I'll find out more after a visit to the neurologist on Thursday. I geuss that's why they call it FAITH....

                                    Hang in there as best you can,

                                                 Vince

mosie1944 said...

I can understand your being battle-weary; I'm getting that way just watching you have to face all these things.  God bless you.

rdautumnsage said...

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princesssaurora said...

{{{{ Kim }}}}   Damn!!!!  Call them Monday at about 10 am... that should be enough time for cancellations to hit but not any new ones... maybe they can move you up.... be pushy... be weepy... use your worries with the girl on the phone...  it does work!!!  I am praying for you.... and sending big J-land hugs.

be well,
Dawn
http://journals.aol.com/princesssaurora/CarpeDiem/

jmorancoyle said...

    You are in my prayers. Just one more time, keep it together. Until the doctor actually says that there is a problem, don't expect it. Don't expect anything. So until Friday, take care.
Jude
http://journals.aol.com/jmorancoyle/MyWay

am4039 said...

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pippa1116 said...

i will keep you in my prayers and anxiously waiting for the news.
tina

eilenbug said...

This "suspect" image seems to get around. A friend's mom just went through this and others I find after doing some checking....could it be they know the insurance won't question another round?   I'm always suspect of this. Good luck! Visualize your body as healed!

ekgillen said...

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gehi6 said...

Well, that was tough, another test to undergo, another worry.  I will be thinking of you.  Gerry
http://journals.aol.com/gehi6/daughters-of-the-shadow-men/  

irenemaeclark said...

Lord,...help us to remember your Grace, your Mercy, and your forgiveness for our sins.  forgive us when we doubt.  Lead us through this valley with courage and with strength.  Grant us a calm spirit.  Help us to lead our lives in a way to be an inspiration to others.  Help us to uplift our families and to be encouragers to them in spite of our trama.  Life is to long, it is to short...help us to believe in your healing hand.  Take control of our life, we give it to you.  You Lord, and only you are The Giver of Life...help us to live and to enjoy and to be a blessing to You our God.  Remove the stress from us, help us to be enfolded within your loving arms.  Take loving care of our loved ones....prepare us for the future and for whatever it holds...never let us waver in our faith.  Be our rock.  Break off the stronghold of sickness with The Mighty Arm of The Lord.  Our Christ.  Our Redeamer.  We love you our creator.  Take our lives and mold them as you designed them to be.  Accept our hearts, make us your own.  You will never leave, nor forsake us....grant us your Godly Wisdom.  Lead us down the straight and narrow road.  Prepare our souls for eternity, prepare us to live or die according to your plan.

sunnyside46 said...

maybe they are just being very particular and careful, Kim.
Waiting with you,
Marti