10 minutes before I had to leave for my Colposcopy appointment I have a lil 'freak out' session, I'm yelling at Jim for no reason, I'm so nervous I literally choke on the vicodin I'm trying swallow and up it comes.......DO OVER! 2 times! That was weird, I must have been really nervous or I remember when I was going through chemo and my meals consisted of mostly meds...I was unable to swallow a lot during that time....all in my head! I know!
So after I swallow about 1127 MG's of vicodin and Jim finally gets me in the truck, I'm good! I'm calm...I even left goldylocks at home! When I first learned I would loose my hair to chemo I thought I would be OK with that, but it took me a long time to stop seeing the carved up sideshow freak with the bald head every time I looked into the mirror. Then when I first started to wear Goldylocks I swore everyone could tell it was a wig! Even though people who have known me for decades said it looked just like my old hair and new people that would come into my life swore they didn't know.....here lies the irony in it all....it seems I was more worried about people knowing that I was wearing a wig than the fact that I was bald! What is up with that?? lol I just realized this yesterday when I spent my entire day out in public as "the bald chick with the funky earrings" lol
I went to my Doctor's appointment without it, sat in the packed waiting room blowing bubbles that popped all over my face several times, Jim kept telling me to stop and I'm like "Why? It's not like I'm gonna get it stuck in my hair or something!!" That sent him over the edge laughing! Now during my procedure with yet again another handsome Doctor...must be my lucky year for that! lol He said that my cervix was closed completely and that it's common for women my age......my foot almost slipped out of the stir up and kicked him in his handsome face.... accidentally of course! lol Woman my age!!!! geeesh I'm only 44! lol Then he said or it could be because of the Tomaxifen....so I'm going with that! lol lol lol Well anyway he said that he had to do a small biopsy at the edge of the cervix so my cervix would respond by opening and giving him a better view...he was very pleased with what he saw or didn't see, He told me he's still sending the tissue off for the biopsy but that it didn't look like anything to worry about! See ya in six months for another pap test just for reassurance............yipppppeeeee! And there wasn't any pain or cramping just a small pinch and it was over in about 4 minutes.
After the Doctor's office we came home for a bit then one of my girlfriends called to check up on me (it was her 35th B-day too) and since I was feeling much better than I thought I would we decided to hook up at the lake so off I took my bald self to the grocery store to pick up some things to cook out there for dinner and a birthday cake for her of course, then back home to get Jim and the kids and off to the lake I went...bald!...I think goldylocks might be brought out of retirement only for special occasions from now on!
Today I find out about that other lump in my other breast...still not sure what vibe I'm getting on that...no fear just a little dread....but at least my mind will be at peace...it's the not knowing that messes with my head the most....if my news is just as good today as yesterday what an incredible summer I'm going to have this year and I can put last years sucky one behind me! Ü
That boy look like his Momma or what??? lol lol
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DAMN YOU AOL! DAMN YOU!....... LOL LOL LOL