!st week of August in rewind.........Oye Vey! LOL

My Week in rewind.......

Monday is a blur already to me.........I think it was spent telling everybody that I have cancer and that we will all be ok!

Tuesday I met with Dr. McDreamy the surgeon who will remove my left breast very soon (as it sits right now I have 2 major tumors, 1 minor tumors and about 4 or 5 smaller tumors all packed into my left breast) I now know that I have grade 3 breast cancer HIGHLY AGGRESSIVE, I knew that already because they came out of nowhere fast and furious, much like the taxi drivers in Jamaica last month! lol ( I went by myself for this. I drove there and home by myself for this I'll explain at the end of the entry as to why)

Wednesday I met with McDreamy again and had a mammotome biopsy, painless and as usual I talked right through it.....believe it or not McDreamy, Nurse Kathy and I had a fun time! lol He patched me up and I again drove myself home......I wanted to do this alone too!

Thursday I took off my lovely ace bandage and saw what looked like an over thumped melon....bruised, battered and bloody, not to mention my skin is so delicate......nice word delicate, that's about the only thing delicate about me! lol Ok Maybe my hands are still considered delicate! lol But Thursday night my Middle Daughter needed to move out of the apartment that she once shared with old Boyfriend, the one that was diagnosed last Thanksgiving as schizophrenic and then later changed to severely bipolar.........the one who is now stalking her. Well as we are pulling into her apartment complex I see him by her apartment with her permission to remove his not working car out of the garage and I don't even wait for Jim to stop the truck, I fly out of it and go after him.........pretty delicate huh??? lol I told him this was his last warning to leave my Kid alone......I reminded him that this does not have to get nasty but Momma will bring nasty if he touches her or bothers her again.....he took off quickly, so did his Mother who I didn't know was standing a few feet behind me....She already knew how I felt about her from our one and only conversation.......she has listened to me and stopped harassing my kid......I told her I'd get real ugly with her too if I had too! Well, anyway..........Earlier Thursday afternoon, the cancer was confirmed with a quick call from McDreamy to the Pathologist.......this coming Wednesday they hope to have the full report and I will learn exactly whatkind of breast cancer I have....(there are a few) and what stage I am at.....right now preliminary reports with nodes unseen....I am Stage II or Stage III. That really won't be confirmed until after the mastectomy. Thursday night was spent in the ER from over doing it helping with the Middle daughters move, the jump from a moving vehicle and I just needed reassurance that was what it was supposed to look like.....A over thumped and squished melon! lol

Friday day was spent at the New Cancer Hospital that I will be visiting a lot.........met with The Oncologist.... Dr. Serious I shall call him, had some blood work, went over most of the pathologist report, was told they are still waiting on the Estrogen receptor, progesterone receptor and the her 2 reports to see if they can kill a majority of the tumors by shutting down the estrogen or progesterone in my body. Also found out I have MANY tumors of various sizes in my left breast.........I call them "party crashers" totally uninvited house (me) guests! lol I also saw McDreamy again and he just wanted to see a visual of the biopsy site for himself since I was a little freaked out about the blood pooling.......he said my was not the best he's seen, but nowhere near the worst either.........Ok, I can live with that! lol I also met the Breast Care Coordinator and was overwhelmed with information........Jim was with me on Friday, he insisted.......I was over ruled and I am glad he was there to catch most of what I missed after I heard the words  Stage II and Stage III........Ok, So I already knew I was going to be in a battle, now I that it's a lil tougher battle and I will have to be even more of the fierce warrior I am, to kicks it's little ass! They also scheduled a CT scan and Bone Scan for next Friday.............the Mastectomy will pre-empt all that testing if I can get it done earlier in the week.....I have the A-TEAM from everyone I have spoken to about my Doctors.......I'm in good hands and I know it! I was also told by the A-Team they really don't think cancer will invademy right breast ever, so they won't be taking that one off........that one will have to wait for the reduction and lift a good 6 months after the mastectomy and chemo has finished......I am gonna be one lop-sided woman! lol And I have no problem with that....it will bring attention to my breasts along with my fashionably 'Hot' bald head to the need for breast cancer awareness......my new journey and role in life!<FONTFACE="COMIC size="4" MS? Sans>

Now why I want to do a majority of this by myself.......I was raised to be a strong minded, strong willed woman....what made that difficult for my Mother was that I took that initiative a little earlier than she wanted me too........like 12 years of age........but because of being damn good at being strong minded and willed I prefer to do some of these things by myself..........I remain calm, and I remain in control of the Cancer and the fear that it causes in most people...........If I were to take my Beloved Husband with me, I probably would fall apart (still haven't done that, it's not my MO anyway, I'll explain more on that in a minute.) If I let my Mother take me.......same situation.....anyone else and I would end up making sure they were ok........so I go by myself......Jim, My Mom and other family and friends will invade the Hospital as it is, when I have my surgery........One big love fest!

Now....my usual MO for any kind of emergency or crisis is....I take charge, I am fierce, I handle it all, I am a rock until it's all over..........so I will have my weak moments from time to time, but I will not "loose" it until it's all over and I am cancer free.......then and only then will I cry me a river.......that's who I am, that's who I'll be!

So what you are seeing is not an act, not a benefit for others, I'm not in denial and I have no fear..........I will laugh my way through this and I will help others deal with my cancer and maybe theirs...........Told ya! I'm one tough Irish Broad! lol lol lol

Saturday night I had a blast at the lake again with my family and my friends......cook outs, cocktails, bonfires, great music and I found myself sitting in the huge circle watching these people that I love, having a good time, catching up on each other's lives and children and thankful that I had one more wonderful memory to look back on when I need too!

Even with cancer.............life is good and I am loved.........and for that I am very blessed!

Oh, so how am I spending my Sunday??  quietly.......Jose Cuervo was a friend of mine last night....so I am avoiding that friend today and taking it easy......maybe some fishing and an afternoon nap with my forever bed buddy.....Jim! ;)