Wednesday, August 16, 2006

Now open up and say............OUCH! lol lol lol

So here I sit a little after 5:30 a.m.......the alarm was set for 7:00 a.m. I guess I was a lil too anxious for this morning to get here. Yesterday was kinda weird, I kind of hit a brick wall physically, I was sleepy all day, but had very little time for a quick nap in the late afternoon. One question I keep getting asked is if I am sad that I am loosing my left breast....the answer is NO! It's trying to take my life, why on earth would I want to keep it? My Doctor's were so happy that they didn't have to talk me outta of trying to save it.....take the damn thing, it's deadly, and for the life of me I can't understand why they would have to argue or talk someone into having it removed??? Why keep it attached to my body, when I already know it's diseased and very deadly right?? Not one tumor, but EIGHT at last count!!!!


What keeps me giggling up until now was for the past 4 months, there I was at the gym, working out 2 to 3 times a week, watching what I was eating just to whittle down to shape that I used to have.... I was very successful at loosing some inches in some pretty key areas, but my Mother's Tummy was more stubborn than I was....and because of that fact, that is what will be used to help recreate my new left breast.....everything for a reason again huh? The skin that will be removed to cover the newly in place left breast (via tram flap) is just the right size to be a perfect fit and what ever is left over they will trim away and tummy tuck! Good-bye to the small, (But I know they are there stretch marks from Motherhood) and good-bye to that little bitty uneven scar  under my belly button from when I had my tubes tied in 1992. Hmmmm flat, tight little tummy and waist again and waaaaa laaaaaa! No more problem area! lol


I'll be admitted today at 10:00 a.m, put in my RED CARPET hospital gown....designer unknown! lol and then at 10:45 I will be given a valium to be carted away for my Sentinel Node Biopsy Linky ~~~>  Breast Cancer Surgery article: Sentinel Node Procedure  then it's a waiting game to see if the Sentinel Nodes light up like a blue platespecial at your local K-Mart to see if the cancer has spread to the sentinel nodes.....no blue, no other lymph nodes taken.......blue sentinel and then it's up into the armpit to take out the smaller lymph nodes to see if cancer has at least spread to that area.


I still haven't received the radiologist reading ( Official report) of the bone scan and cat scan (maybe later today) to make sure or reassure me what the Oncologist (Dr. Serious) told me on Friday.....( He sees no evidence that it has spread to any other part of my body and bones) Happy Dance again everyone!


Dr. Hollywood's office (Plastic surgeon) called today to tell me that I will be in the hospital at least until Sunday now.......now 4 days of hospital food ought to be in my favor as far as the scale is concerned! lol Since diagnosis, I was still watching what I was eating, working out at the gym and then I had an epiphany........STOP THE WORK OUT GIRL! KEEP THAT BELLY! YOU'RE GONNA NEED ALL OF IT FOR THAT NEW PERKY BOOB! So I have to admit, I ate without guilt and didn't visit the gym since Saturday morning! Another perk to breast cancer I guess! lol lol lol


I am hoping that my nextel  (cell, two-way radio and wireless internet access) will be able to get a signal in the hospital, and if so I can read emails, but answering them old fashioned way via text messaging will drive me crazy....So I can read my comments and just a part of the journals I have on my alerts. But I think I won't even know my own name for the first few days post-op....I'm in good hands with my A-TEAM of Doctors and I'm in loving hands with my Husband at my side.


 


Life is Beautiful and I am thankful!

78 comments:

bobbysgirl8584 said...

Oh Kim: your attitude about all of this is amazing! Good luck with everything; I will be praying for you.
Maria

ukgal36 said...

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sangrialel said...

Good Luck Kim.  I will be praying for you today extra hard!  You are a truly awesome woman.  Linda

shayshaydc said...

We are lifting you up in prayer today Kim!!!!!! http://journals.aol.com/shayshaydc/Golfaholic
Sharon:)

danica1023 said...

Your attitude is amazing.  I am praying for you and those around you!

caromarls said...

Hey Kim - you'll have to dance gentle after the op because we don't want those perky boobs to drop again, do we!!  We'll have to do the heavy dancing for you!  Take care and rest - you are in our prayers today. We all love you!
Hugs and cuddles, Caroline
http://journals.aol.com/caromarls/ANewAdventure

sunflowerkat321 said...

Your amazing attitude is going to carry you through this with flying colors.  You will be foremost in my heart and mind today.

cste609371 said...

Kim, Bless you, I will be praying for you.... Cheryl

nolefan38 said...

Kim, you and your family are in my prayers and I just want to say ,you show so much courage......................... hugs and love , Sherry

pharmolo said...

Don't know if you're going to read these comments before you go down - good luck and keep your spirits where they are now - high!!!

nelishianatl said...

I'm keeping you in my prayers.  Much love is sent your way.
Nelishia
http://journals.aol.com/nelishianatl/Wishingandhoping,prayingandbelieving/

pippa1116 said...

I am praying for you, girl!  tina

magran42 said...

You are one WISE woman.  Of course a breast is not worth a life but how many can see it as clearly as you.  What you say in jest is all true but how many would choose to see this.  We honor you with love and prayers.

jilly78 said...

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dklars said...

I'll be thinking about you and sending up prayers today!
~~Kath~~

memes121 said...

You are in our prayers friend!

schoolgal040 said...

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stevietwain said...

Loads of *HUGS* heading your way hun!!

Lv Ste
xxxxx

seraphoflove9001 said...

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marainey1 said...

I'll be praying for success in all - It's so great that you have such a good attitude - it means alot.  I have a dear friend that has had a double and also 4 major open heart surgries.  Just to encourage you - she had them recreated and looks great and is now very much healed and living a great life.  When I think of all she went through I can believe anything is possible !  God Bless you !  'On Ya' - ma

candlejmr said...

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inafrnz247 said...

::Thinking of you through all of this..saying a quiet prayer..squeezing tightly::
Michelle

chat2missie said...

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xomywayox said...

It's 11:30 am my time...wondering how your doing. Ugh I hate waiting....omg this is about you not me. Oo I suck sometimes.
Ok..

I think your amazing and wonderful and ever thing special. I'm happy for you, happy that you have soooo many people loving you and watching over you. Plus I bet you look hot in hosiptal gown, you sex kitten.

Prayers 2 You.....Brenda

thinkingoutloud said...

I agree with you completely on having the breast removed.  That is exactly my opinion but many women would not agree.  Your reasoning makes sense to me.  (I think that's a good thing?!)hahaha  
Your positive attitude will give you positive results.
I would hope you would keep a paper journal of your own.  I wouldn't worry about your journal here.  I'm sure you will be occupied with other things along with your recovery & treatments.  
I wish I could take the pain for you or help in any way.  You do have my prayers and respect and love.
Niki :)

justplainbill said...

Kim, I only started reading your journal about a month before your diagnosis. I can't believe I feel that you and I are friends.
As a friend I am sending you (Spunky)  good luck, best wishes and many prayers.
Bill

jg4949 said...

I was referred to your journal today.  So glad I was.  I will be praying for your recovery.  Keep us posted.  

jeane

lanurseprn said...

Keeping you in my prayers.
Pamela

siennastarr said...

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ajquinn354 said...

Kim I'm thinking of you today dear and know you'll do just fine.  Keep up your positive attitude, you're a real winner in my book.  Can't wait to see a pic of the new boobed, tummy tucked you if you ever share that with all of us.  Bless you dear......Arlene (AJ)

lifes2odd said...

You have the best attitude of anyone I've ever know! Can't wait to hear from you again. I have to ask -- did you shave your legs for THIS too? ;-)
You're in my prayers. Martha

countrylady4071 said...

Kim,
You and your family are in my thoughts and prayers.  You are an inspiration to all of us.  
Hugs,
Pat

hsauls said...

I JUST KNOW you're doing fine but I wanted to stop by anyways and send you some love... is it gonna take a few lumps for me to get my tummy tuck? Yikes! Best of luck and get well wishes!
*hugs*
heather
Tightening the Corset and
Our Parallel Lives

ashleekr said...

You are doing GREAT!  And, once again, I am still fighting with you!!
Ash

psychfun said...

Praying this evening for your speedy recovery!

tendernoggle said...

MY PRAYERS ARE WITH YOU...I HAVE READ YOUR JOURNAL ENTRIES AND LET ME TELL YOU...YOU ARE A VERY STRONG WOMAN, AND HAVE THE RIGHT ATTITUDE ABOUT THIS...YOU WILL BE OK...EVERYTHING WILL BE OK.
HUGS,
CARLENE

thegroovynoodle said...

Kim,

I found your journal via Jeanne (CANDLEJMR). She made an entry asking for prayers for both you and my 5-month old niece who has been battling cancer since she was 2 weeks old. I feel very blessed to have found you.

I've done some backreading and I can't tell you how much I admire your strength and sense of humor during this very difficult time. I wish I could face my niece's cancer, as well as my grandmother's (who was diagnosed with lung cancer this past Friday) with half the strength you have. I know my family is going through pure hell right now. Yours must be feeling a lot of what we are. My thoughts and prayers are with you and your family.

I will continue reading your j, hoping to draw on your strength and courage. Thank you for inspiring me to face my niece's and my grandmother's cancer head-on and with a better attitude.

I'll keep you in my prayers for a quick recovery, complete with perfect boobs, six-pack abs, and limited time in those lovely designer hospital gowns.

am4039 said...

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therealslimemmy said...

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schoolgal040 said...

Kimberleigh,
It's 5:30 AM on Thursday morning and I my first thought when I woke up was YOU. I'm pulling for you gal, I truly am. Hang in there, be the tough and humurous gal we all out here J-Land know and love so much. You have a great family and a pretty darn cute husband right there with ya' and that brings me relief that they are with you.
Wish I knew where you were so I could send you something; flowers, my prayers, or just anything. But I can send you a gentle (because you hurt) "cyber hug".

Biggest Hugs to you Kimberleigh,
Gayla
http://journals.aol.com/schoolgal040/SoMuchMore/

Here is a link to what I wrote yesterday:
http://journals.aol.com/schoolgal040/SoMuchMore/entries/2006/08/16/thinking-of-kimberleigh/1369

xomywayox said...

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cste609371 said...

St. Theresa's Prayer:
May today there be peace within. May you trust God that you are exactly where you are meant to be. May you not forget the infinite possibilities that are born of faith. May you use those gifts that you have received, and pass on the love that has been given to you.. May you be content knowing you are a child of God.... Let this presence settle into your bones, and allow your soul the freedom to sing, dance, praise and love. It is there for each and every one of us.

                    Thinking of you Kim, Cheryl~

yakima127 said...

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countrylady4071 said...

Hi Kim,
I hope everything went well with your surgery, and you're not in too much pain.  My thoughts and prayers are with you at this time.  God is looking out for you.
Hugs,
Pat

rgossett4195 said...

Praying for you hon!  rose~

nolefan38 said...

Just thinking of you and  your family......I hope all is well, hugs and love, and praying.... Sherry

sdoscher458 said...

Ah my friend, may God keep you safely in his hands and grant you a speedy recovery...you are in my thoughts & prayers....Sandi

xomywayox said...

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jg4949 said...

Thinking of you.  Maybe your husband or children will let us know how you are doing.  

jeane

katie39041 said...

Thinking about you and saying my prayers for you. i hope you are doing ok, and the pain relief is working well. love and hugs
katie x

bpcorn48 said...

I wish you so much luck , and hope by next Wed you will feel alittle like yourself, Its going to take timeeeeeeeeee , Saying prays for you,,,,,,,,,,diane

ajquinn354 said...

Just to say hi and let you know I'm thinking of you dear....look forward to an update when you can or if someone in the family can do it for you.....Bless you....Arlene (AJ)

siennastarr said...

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adlessor said...

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thinkingoutloud said...

Kimberleigh,
I hope you are starting to feel 1/2 way human by now.
I know it's rough but it will get better day by day.
That's just the way it is.
I'm so very sorry that you have to go through this process but I know you will be well in time.
Stay positive and keep the humor in you.
Love n prayers n huggs-
Niki

pprrrr39 said...

I am way behind with my jornals........i hope that everything has gone well for you.

Thoughts & prayers are with you
hugs
Jayne

bgilmore725 said...

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lazarai said...

Wow, Kim...I was away on vacation in July and my alerts went all weird on me when I got back. I finally found your journal again and I'm just shocked to find you dealing with THIS!! Holy crap, Kim, I just finished reading it all and I have to say, I have NEVER come across a person like you who can actually deal with such a horrible thing and keep her sense of humor! I swear, you are one of the strongest and funniest women I've ever known....and if I weren't older than you (I'm 49), I'd wanna be just like you when I grow up (yeah, like THAT'S ever gonna happen!).

Anyway, I hope you are regaining your strength as we speak and that everything is going as well as can be expected. Your reconstruction surgery sounds wonderful - a tummy tuck AND beautiful boobs - how cool! I wonder why they don't do that for breast augmentation....I'd love to relocate some of my belly fat too! :)

Well, I will continue to check back here daily hoping to find a word or two from you - that way I'll know you're feeling better. I know you'll be back online as soon as you possibly can be!!

I'm sending hugs and happy thoughts your way!!
Stay strong,
Carol

gandsbrock said...

Thank you for your humor and blog during all this in your life.  I'm just on the cusp of what you are dealing with.  Last monday my biopsy result indicated cancer, probably DCIS, but we won't know until after my surgery on Thursday.  I WAS about to embark on a weight loss program - but thanks to your advice, I won't be working all THAT hard on it.  LOL!  I wish you well on your surgery and hope you come out with beautiful boobs and a very flat tight tummy!

siennastarr said...

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nolefan38 said...

KIM, SHERRY HERE STILL THINKING AND PRAYING FOR YOU, IT'S MONDAY SO HOPEFULLY WE WILL HERE FROM YOU SOON , ALL OUR LOVE, SHERRY

thinkingoutloud said...

Kim,
I hope the surgery went as expected.  There is no way to truly know the recovery until you experience it.  I really hope that you are doing well considering.
You have the fighting spirit in you that's for sure.
I hope you are able to let us know how you are doing.  Soon would good:):):)
Take care-
Love n prayers-
Niki

magran42 said...

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xomywayox said...

Hello Kim

It's Tuesday six days after your surgery. I hope all is well with you. I want you to know that I'm still praying & hoping & believing.

Ya-Ya...Brenda

lindapaterson177 said...

hello kim
just found your journal what a positive person you are and I hope your surgery went well, take care.
linda xx
http://journals.aol.co.uk/lindapaterson177/IstartedofthislifewithnothingIst/

jilly78 said...

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plieck30 said...

Just checking to see how you are and still wishing you the very best. Paula

dreamingbrwneyes said...

Hope soon you can update .. You remain in my prayers.
~ Jenny

xomywayox said...

Kim

It's Wedesday seven days after your surgery. I'm still here stalking you!!! Get well soon, Pumpkin. Loving You & Praying..

Butterfiles, Bunnies, & Balloons....Brenda

countrylady4071 said...

Hi Kim,
Just checking in to see if you have updated your journal.  My thoughts and prayers are with you at this time.
Hugs,
Pat

midwestvintage said...

Kim, hope everything went OK and will keep checking back to see how you made out.  

                           Julie

imgr8phil said...

Just want you to know that I'm praying for you.  Everything will be OK in the end so stay positive no matter what happens.  Take care.

Phil

jcole16757 said...

Keeping you in my thoughts and prayers!

magran42 said...

Just checking.  You are in my prayers.

topchelseagirl said...

You are one gutsy lady Kim. I hope everything went well and that you are gradually starting to feel a little better.
As you can see there are a lot of people rooting for you. I'll be checking every day for news.
PS You have a beautiful family!
Angie

ajquinn354 said...

Checking in to stay you are in my prayers and thoughts dear...Bless You...Arlene

nolefan38 said...

Kimmmmmmmmmmmmm, We are so worried, hope all is well................ hugs and love, Sherry

thegirlnexdoor77 said...

I love your positive tude...you make me smile each time I read your journal...do take care and rest...hugs,TerryAnn