Half way done, reflections and another full circle

I had my fourth and final A/C part of my chemo treatment yesterday......I was a lil more tired during and the rest of the day and night with this one, but like I have said before, "How hard is napping? Right?? lol Dr. Serious (Oncologist) and I had a brief chat about what changes will occur when I start the Taxol....for one I will stop the Emend (anti nausea) the day of chemo and the following 2 days after that....I also won't have to take Zofran anymore with the Taxol (this is the one that I had complications with the last round of chemo. I will be taking A steroid the night before my first Taxol and the morning of because some people have an allergic reaction to the Taxol and the steroids will help with the reaction if I have one. I will still need the shot the next day of Neulasta (white and red blood cell builder shot) My red blood cell count was a lil lower than before but nothing to worry about right now (anemia) And I won't have to be on any antibiotics with the Taxol either (cutting my med intake in half YAHOOOO!). Just one more bad week with this last dose of A/C and my down days will be few and far between!!! Again EVERYONE HAPPY DANCE WITH ME! lol

I am having a real difficult time as well as many of my other family members convincing a few of them that I am not dying from this, my Brother being the most difficult to convince. I think a lot of it has to do with all the remorse that has built up in him since the end of our childhoods and about the way he treated me during my childhood. Being raised with an alcoholic abusive Father was never easy and was even harder on my oldest sibling my Brother, for my Brother took the brunt of my father's wrath more so than my Sister and I and in turn, he took it out on us, especially me.....I never could hold my tongue! Big Surprise on that huh? lol My Brother was in so much pain growing up that the only way for him to let some of that escape was if he took it out on my Sister and I and let's just say my beatings were viscous....and there was always a threat afterwards of if I told....I finally held my ground my 16 year....he was warned by me that if he ever laid a hand on me again, I would have him arrested and that was the end of that.....I couldn't even like, and sometimes hated (but always loved) my Brother until my 30's and then I was able to forgive him.........he has never been able to forgive himself and that is why he his having such a hard time dealing withmy cancer.

In a way this Cancer has brought a few things full circle for me in many ways and how can I not be grateful for that?