Saturday, November 25, 2006

Taxol, Turkey and Comfort Levels

OK, Taxol with the shot of Neulasta felt more like a train wreck than the flu, which is what I was told by Dr. Serious the Taxol would feel like.....my muscles did ache like the flu....every last one of them.....easy to deal with.....what pushed me past my high threshold of pain were the random bone aches that cursed through my body at will. Mainly in my lower torso and my forearms. Thank GOD it only lasted 48 hours. The Motrin and the Vicodin helped but I think I will be asking for something a lil stronger the next round of chemo. I would still rather have the Taxol then the A/C......with the A/C, I felt crappier over a longer period of time. 5 rounds of chemo down....3 to go!

My hair is already starting to grow back...WHITE in the front with BLACK in the back.........GREAT!!! I'm gonna look like Cruella Deville from 101 Dalmatians! lol! I was what they refer to as a toe-headed baby.....my hair was so blonde that it was white....I wonder if that is the color my hair is coming back as? It got darker and more golden as the years went by.....but with Chemo who knows! Just give me a few curls or waves....hell, I'd be satisfied if it was just thicker than what I had before! lol This sure will be interesting, not matter what! lol

Whatever happened to me feet with my last A/C round is still a mystery to me and my Oncologist. Yesterday I woke up to find huge blisters on the bottom of my feet where the red burn marks were when I was unable to walk last around. I still have the one hot spot on my left foot that will have to go through what ever it goes through....but hopefully that won't happen again and I will be able to really enjoy my feel good days. Very Strange......and I'm still breaking out in new hives even though I have been off that medicine for over a week....I feel like such a lab rat with all these weird side effects! lol

I am still finding me having Cancer is much harder on my family and friends than it is for me to deal with....to protect my family(Mother and Siblings) I have not let them see me when I am looking as bad as I feel....But this Thanksgiving was only 2 days after my chemo round and I was in no shape to camouflage the effects of chemo and cancer has taken on me.....so no make-up, no wig, no sunny disposition. My Brother is still avoiding me and that is ok, so he spent Thanksgiving with my SIL's family. I did get to talk to him and told him that I love, miss and want to see him soon....but I do understand everyone has a comfort level when dealing with illness and I will not push past that comfort level for my own sake. In my huge extended family Cancer was never caught in time so I know and understand the loss....So it is up to me to prove to my Family that if found soon enough, you can survive and I'm gonna! I find some comfort in that and what a great legacy to leave behind when it's my time......like 40 years from now! lol lol lol

24 comments:

yakima127 said...

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pharmolo said...

As you say, Kim, 5 down, 3 to go. At least the Taxol doesn't appear to be as severe. Just think of those pretty yew trees with the red berries. That's where it comes from. I would imagine that severe illness  can be difficult for family members to deal with, and you're right about the comfort zone. Wishing you luck for the next 3 instalments.

thisismis72 said...

lol, and I bet the next 40 you will do amazing things with, even if it is just sitting on a porch watching a sunset.
Missy

stupidsheetguy said...

Sounds like you're dealing with this pretty well still. You're pretty wise and considerate to everyone, so I would expect that they have no problem showing you the compassion you need as well. Deal with it one step at a time, go at the pace that's best for you. Everyone deals with things their own way, and you're pretty wise to see that.

Continue to do well, ok?

Jimmy

siennastarr said...

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onestrangecat said...

too bad your family can't deal with your cancer as well as you seem to be dealing with it.  they will come around I am sure.  when you hear the word cancer most people think dying.

so you will have mulit colored hair huh?  bet it will be beautiful!

Kathy

brandyp0509 said...

YAY on the hair!  You can rock that Cruella look! I'm so sorry about your brother but lots of people are that way, I did that with my own grandmother who I loved like a mother, I just could not deal with it.  I know you will definitely show them though that caught in the right time frame you can and will survive.  I'm praying for you often.  ----Brandy

lanurseprn said...

My best friend had cancer in 1995 and he didn't hear from some of his friends and relatives.  People do have a comfort level.  You are right.  Sometimes they will withdraw.  But, then, they come back.  And you can't be angry with them. They are dealing with it the best they know how.
Hope you have a good weekend.
Pam

ajquinn354 said...

Kim, you hang in there, know it is hard for some friends or family to deal with an illness, etc.  You just keep showing them that you are winning this battle - know in my heart you'll do well.  Keep that sense of humor, a big helper.  Bless you dear...Arlene (AJ)

midwestvintage said...

 You did catch it early so you will have a different outcome then what they are used to.  Your attitude is a major plus also.  Your getting so short as they say in the service you can almost see the end, Yah.  I can't wait to see pictures of your new hair.

            Julie
http://beta.journals.aol.com/midwestvintage/JulieLosesitMyWeightLossJourney/

mikev009 said...

Catching it early is always the best.  Very intersting with your hair.  At least your not growing a thrid arm on your back.  Most chemo treatments wipe you B vitamins out of your body as well as most of your nutrients.  If you doctor would allow it they would help.  All experiences are a chance for us to grow and be better people whether they are happening to us or someone we love.  Your family will go through some pain, but hopefully they like you, will come out better for it emotionally and spiritually.  ~ Mike

chat2missie said...

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gandsbrock said...

Wouldn't  that be great if your hair came back as soft and silky and shiney as when you were a baby?  I'm so sorry about your aches, and hives and feet and all.  And then trying to put forth your best for your family.  You're so strong to do it all.  But feel free to be grumpy with us.  We're here for you no matter what.  :-)

chevyz71gurl74 said...

My aunts hair came back white...or grey as some would say(she had brownish auburn hair before)...and it came back curly as i don't know what....it was so cute!!!!  She loved her hair like that too...oh she did dye it back to her original color though....but she loved the curls...she would wash it...put gel in it and thats that... =)   I'm sorry your brother isn't coming around yet, but he will in time....everyone deals with things differently.....

Love N Hugs ~Terri~

tendernoggle said...

I think you are so awesome....You are one of the bravest women I know...I hope and prayt hat this will soon be over for you and that those sores on your feet get better soon too.
love ya,
carlene

am4039 said...

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sdoscher458 said...

Only three more to go....I want it to go fast for you, and get the pain over with. You made me laugh about the white & black hair...my Joe said, just put on black fishnet stockings that will balance out the hair. (Men!) Hope you were able to enjoy Thanksgiving, one of my prayers for that day was being thankful that you are able to fight this....love Sandi

evanmyangel88 said...

Hi Kim, sorry to hear you are going thru so much with the chemo effects and such. I started having those bone pains in my lower back last night and it nearly freaked me out. I couldnt get to sleep. It started in my lower back and moved to my thighs, knees and all the way down to my feet. It was awful. So I got up and sat in a hot bath and took a couple of pain pills. It was all I could do. Anyway, I want to let you know I have not been able to post in my own journal in days. I sign in ok, but I can't add an entry. All I can seem to do is add a comment to someone else's journal. What do you think is wrong? Anyway, hang in there, my prayers are always with you and the others. Take care, and I hope to update my journal soon. Please write me at Evan_my_angel@msn.com. Anyone else is welcome to write me there as well. Hope everyone had a good Thanksgiving. Blessings, Barbara

rebuketheworld said...

Tell your doctor your want Percocet...It removes all pain and you sleep like a baby...

boy, this was a really rough week for you....muscles aching...that is very hard..so, your hair is coming back already huh?...Of course, you do that thing to me, my eyes are crunched with "I feel sooo bad you have to go through this season," and then a few sentences later you make me laugh...sooo unfair...I am a nutt case in every entry..lol..with all of these emotions...BUT thankful for them..thankful for your stories...sorry to hear about your brother keepin a distance...Men are notorious for that...drives me nuts at times....He must worry a great deal about you, but heck, you'll be around for a long time......rest up woman......In my prayers....-Raven

ann7inflorida said...

I love that you find humor in all situations. Cracked up at the Cruella Deville comment. This has been one hell of a ride for you...but like you said, 5 down 3 to go. You will be better than new very soon!!! I also love that you are so understanding with your brother...the whole comfort level thing. You're doing good, Kim and as always, you --are-- in my thoughts and prayers.

lindaggeorge said...

Sorry to hear you've been poorly with the new stuff. On the bright side, not many more to go.

What puzzles me is, how the hell did they work out that this stuff can cure you, when it makes you feel so bad?

Feel well soon and I like the sound or your new hair.

Linda x.

sjnunn340 said...

Your handling this soo well - your much braver than i would be.  Good luck and i'll keep reading.

{{{{hugs}}}} stacey
http://journals.aol.co.uk/sjnunn340/ups-and-downs-of-life

kbeatty99 said...

My sister is 6months post chemo.  Her hair is just getting back to normal.  We laugh about it.  It came back very kinky and wirey.  Its calming down. -k

slyracing1 said...

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