Tuesday, November 28, 2006

Just a few ideas

Going through this Cancer ordeal has taught me many things....first is I am not alone....almost everyone that reads my blog has someone in their life that has been touched by some kind of cancer, everyone feels the same helplessness that goes along with knowing and watching what goes along with this terrible disease. The most frustrating thing is not knowing what to do for that person....here as some things that I know brightened up my darkest days.

We don't always want to talk, if someone says it's ok to call then by all means call, if you don't get the go ahead to call wait for them to make the calls.

Encourage them to start a blog for family and friends to keep updated without worrying about calling and waking them up while they are resting.

Buy them a box of Thank You cards and a book of stamps, or a stationary set.

Buy them a bed tray so they can eat their meals there when they aren't feeling up to making a trip to the kitchen.

Buy them one of those dorm back pillows, after surgery you have to sleep at a 45 degree angle for awhile.

Buy them a small pillow 5 X 7 to tuck under their arm between then breast area and the under arm......feels good especially if they had lymph nodes removed.

Send cards weekly, those let that person know how much they are loved and are a good picker upper especially if they aren't ready to make phone calls.

Send some soft stretchy hats that can keep a bald head warm but still let some heat escape.......Thanks Sheila!!!!

If you know them and their family well enough to know what they enjoy meal wise or snack wise by al means do so....especially if it's a Mom that is going through Cancer and Chemo. We are smell sensitive during the first part of chemo and strong smells make us gag. Send them a pizza or Chinese food or gift certificates to their favorite family restaurant that they can call and order dinner to bring home and enjoy.

If your a neighbor volunteer to drive their kids to the bus stop or school on bad weather days or after school activities...last thing we want to worry about is getting our kids to school safely.

If your the parent of a friend to their children, invite them over for a sleep over, the kids need a fun night away from the illness and it is especially important during the really rough times....as a Mom, I don't want my children to witness a really bad day for me...it freaks them out and is hard to forget watching one of your parents sick or in pain.

Buy some super soft and comfy through pillows for their bed....they will be spending a lot of time there.

If they are an avid reader get them a gift certificate to an online store....that way they can pass the time escaping into a really good book and forget for a moment what their real life is like at the moment.......same thing for movies.......nothing beats a really good comedy.......laughter really is a great pain reliever.

I hope this gives you some peace of mind when knowing someone who is going through a really difficult illness.....it will bring them joy and give you the peace of mind that you made a small difference in their lives.

As a Cancer patient myself........I know my illness isn't easy for the majority of the people in my life, so if you can't find yourself being able to deal with their illness face to face a small gesture goes a very  long way! With my family and friends only a very few can deal with my illness and it is people like you that come by my journal and inspire me to keep up the good fight that gives me comfort when people who are in my everyday life can't!!! Thank you for making such a difference in my life.....you will never know how much you have touched my heart.


Thank you so very much my J-Land Chemo Angels!!!!!!!!!

Love,
Kimberleigh

24 comments:

pharmolo said...

That is very useful advice, Kim. Will relay.

lazarai said...

Wow, that is some awesome advice there, Kimberleigh....THANKS!!!

:) Carol

midwestvintage said...

 What wonderful suggestions and I am sure everyone is glad to know exactly what is most appreciated.  Thanks for sharing.

                            Julie
http://beta.journals.aol.com/midwestvintage/JulieLosesitMyWeightLossJourney/

wipforever said...

You are very welcome!  :)  It is what friends are for!!!

I'm very sorry that I haven't commented in a while.  Busy here with a lot of things.  

Now, about this entry, your suggestions are EXCELLENT!   The only thing I can add would be phone cards.  They can be used in the hospital (most won't allow patients to make long distance calls) if need be and can help with long distance charges at home.    

If you're the patient - sometimes we friends and family members need a little help in knowing what you want or need done.  Don't be afraid to tell us!!!  

Take care, Kim and much love to you.  I may not have commented much but that doesn't mean you weren't in my thoughts.

Hugs!
Sheila

imshadowraven2 said...

You wouldnt give up on any of us and we wont give up on you . Thanks for the tips. I'm betting your a beautiful bald woman just because your such a beautiful woman on the inside.................Robin

dwhee70041 said...

Kim,  Thank you for the great thoughts.  This time last year we were dealing with cancer/chemo in our house.  It was very difficult watching my MIL die from Liver cancer.  I have read every one of your entries.  Thank you for sharing your pain with us, we are all standing beside you, praying for your recovery and hoping you are as comfortable as possible.
David

nelishianatl said...

What a good entry.  So many people just have no idea what to do or say.  I'm an old CNA and did as much for the family who couldn't handle it all as I did for the person who needed me sometimes.  I truly hope that others will take these things to heart and think outside the box when it comes to helping and follow your suggestions.  You are getting better.  I can tell from your entries.  Wishing for you the best Christmas season ever in your life!  What a year you've overcome.  You deserve nothing but the best my dear.
Nelishia
http://journals.aol.com/nelishianatl/WISHINGANDHOPING/
http://journals.aol.com/tsalagiprincess1/JumpingOffTheDeepEnd/

memes121 said...

You are a hero friend.
A new journal is here!
It is my gift to J-land.
Come and celebrate with me and spread the word! Also my friend Krissy has one too! Put hers on alert! Let's all have a Merry Christmas! Tammy
http://journals.aol.com/memes121/happyholidays/
http://journals.aol.com/fisherkristina/JoyToTheWorld/

ajquinn354 said...

Kimberly, you had such great suggestions for everyone, know I've used alot of them when my brother-in-law had his cancer and several friends and it meant a lot to them.

My across the street neighbor was recently diagnosed with breast cancer and had a radical mastectomy, she cares for her elderly Mom and a Sister who has special needs, so we, her neighbors run errands for them, take her to chemo, call and check on her and her Mom and Sis, make meals and are there for anything she not able to do right now.  We call it being "Caring Friends and  Neighbors" and we know we'll all be there for each other and I know they'll be here for me if I ever need them

If there's a Jland Angel, it's you dear......Arlene (AJ)

chevyz71gurl74 said...

Great entry Kim....
Some people deal with things better than others,
I have so many regrets about things left unspoken
when my aunt was still with us...she would try to talk to me about her cancer, but i just couldn't deal, couldn't face facts...didn't know what exactly to say...I wanted her to think i was handling it all fine, when inside i was a mess. This is my first holidays without her and it's been very hard...I got through thanksgiving but Christmas Eve and New Years Eve are going to be the toughest on me...Jeff and I were always at her house on both of those nights...it's going to be so lonely. But i know she will be right with me....in my heart. I miss her so much!
Thank you for such a wonderful entry...hopefully it will help others....not knowing what to do or say in times like this.
You are such a wonderful person Kim....
Always in my thoughts and prayers!
P.S.
  Some may think i am crazy, but i feel as though my aunt guided me your way...as well as other Jlanders going through cancer journeys also....You all will never know how much your journals have touched me.....in some sort of way they are helping me grieve...and healing my broken heart...cause for so long i held it all inside...and ya'lls journals...allow me to express how i really feel...whether it be while i am alone(crying) or in sharing with my husband...my thoughts and feelings about it all.....It means so much to me....thank you!
Hugss..~Terri~

justplainbill said...

Kimberleigh, I have tried six times today to respond to this posting. But I presisted and here it is.
I for one appreciate your many tips today for cancer patients and their families,.friends, neighbors and caretakers. You have made it eaiser to deal with those who delvelope cancer and I know it has helped me.
Thanks and good luck to you, take care, Bill

fisherkristina said...

Thanks for sharing this.  It was very informative.  Please take care of yourself.

Krissy
http://journals.aol.com/fisherkristina/SometimesIThink  

randlprysock said...

Kim these are great suggestions.  Thank you for sharing because it is difficult to know what to do in times of illness.  Hugs n Lotsa Luv and Prayers,
Lisa

http://journals.aol.com/randlprysock/AdventuresFromFlorida/  

inafrnz247 said...

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stupidsheetguy said...

I know that these suggestions really are good ones, because I was on the receiving end of that kindness this year. These things really matter.

Hope you're doing well.

Jimmy

tendernoggle said...

These are great ideas Kim...because you have been through this, you know more than any of us what would be helpful....Thank you so much for the tips.
God bless you honey.
love ya,
carlene

tendernoggle said...

God Bless You hon.

my78novata said...

thanks for sharing that info to help us help those in tihis need

mutualaide said...

Do hope you're having a good day today.  Hugs and prayers your way.  Thanks for this very practical and thoughtful post.  Some days it is tough to know 'just what to do'.  You've pointed me in the right direction for my friend's daughter.  :)

ksgal3133 said...

Wonderful ideas. My FIL is battling lung cancer right now. Thank you and God bless you!

Prayers,
Gretchen
http://journals.aol.com/ksgal3133/LivinginSavannah2

rilmich said...

THANKS LOADS FOR ALL THE TIPS!!! WISHING YOU A SPEEDY RECOVERY,GOD BLESS!!!!!!!!!
Sue

cacklinrosie101 said...

Kim, Lord, you're such an inspiration!  You have also given some wonderful tips to the many folks in JLand who are chemo angels.  I do believe you are truly kicking cancer in the butt.  You are right about the evil carcinoma striking so many.  My youngest child, my 20 year old daughter, was just struck with cervical cancer and is being treated.  Bless you!  Chris
http://journals.aol.com/cacklinrosie101/ADayintheLife/
http://journals.aol.com/cacklinrosie101/CabsCreations/  I always update her treatment in my graphics journal to respect her privacy because none of my children knows this journals exists and...lol...think I'm such a dork with graphics anyway.

helmswondermom said...

Kim, you jus don't know how wonderful this entry is.  I'm so glad you gave us this insight into what is helpful and needed (and wanted).  A very good friend of mine had a mastectomy and many lymph nodes removed about a month ago, and she had her first round of chemotherapy yesterday.  I sent her a card, some stationary and a book of stamps, and one of those really cushy pillows.  I am so glad to know that you would have approved of what I chose, and I really appreciate the other ideas.  I plan to send a card and a small gift every week or so, so you've given me a lot to think about.  We don't live near one another, and I must admit that I've been hesitant to call since her therapy yesterday.  I just didn't know if she'd be up to it, although my Mom said that they had told her that she would feel sickest in a couple day after the chemo, not right afterward.  Does that sound right?  Anyway, thank you so much.  I hope that your treatment is going well and that you have a good weekend.
Lori
http://journals.aol.com/helmswondermom/DustyPages

shayshaydc said...

Kim thanks for the info.... it is good to know ways that we can be of help to others!!! http://journals.aol.com/shayshaydc/Golfaholic
Sharon:)