Ok, so without hair and make up I look like death warmed over now, I'm used to it now so it doesn't bother me so much. The thing I have a hard time with is my eyes....they look so lifeless....lost their sparkle....it's when I catch a glimpse of myself in the mirror the bald head doesn't shock me.....it's the eyes that scream "Your really sick girl!"
With this latest round of chemo I was robbed of a few of my good days....in fact I only had 2 good days.....not much of a respite. But yesterday (Monday) I took full advantage of my last feel good day (later today is first round of the Taxol) and took my friends up on going out to lunch! Ü I have been jonesing for Fettuccini Alfredo so since the lunch was in my honor I got to pick where we ate....yeah me! lol We all ordered different dishes and different wines and just had a huge share fest feast! lol I actually passed on the wine and had a beer.....I hadn't had a beer since this past summer and let me tell you I really enjoyed that beer! lol lol lol
It felt so good to be out of bed, out of my room and out of the house! It really felt good to have hair (my new wig, I'll have to post a picture of "us' soon, it really looks like my old hair before I started doing all my pre-chemo hair cuts) and I did my nails and make up and dressed in something besides jammies....it felt good to look and feel good. Some of my friends that I dined with had not seen me since I started chemo and they kept telling me that if they didn't know I was sick and going through chemo that they would of never known I was even ill.....that made me feel good even though my lifeless eyes tell a different story.
I was soooo happy that lunch lasted 5 hours! lol lol lol
later today (yes I'm up in the middle of the night again) I go to the Cancer Hospital.....meet with the nurses for blood work, blood pressure and temperature check...then back to the waiting room to see my Oncologist Dr. Serious to go over this new round of Taxol, side effects and such then I go into the chemo room. It is a huge open room with floor to ceiling windows on one wall and big comfy chairs inside and outside on the terrace and for those that want more privacy they have small rooms with TV's off to the sides of the room. Now me being that chatty person that I am, I like to sit in the open room, in one of the big chairs in front of the floor to ceiling windows, so I can watch life go by on the street below and enjoy all the fall colors of the trees below. By now I know a lot of the other patients and the whole staff by name.
I learn so much about other peoples struggle with Cancer and meet a lot of survivors...those are the ones that give me hope. I met an older woman there who was keeping her ornery Husband company during his chemo and she walked over to me and told me that she was a 27 year Breast Cancer Survivor.....music for my soul that conversation was.
Another 27 years sounds good to me! I'd be a young 70 something year old woman by then.....I wonder if my new boobs will STILL be perky by then! lol lol lol....Hey Dr. Hollywood? Is there a life time guarantee?? lmaoooooo
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22 comments:
So glad you were able to get out and enjoy yourself!! Have a great Thanksgiving!
Pam
You needed lunch and time with good friends. We are all here for you also!!!! Happy Thanksgiving.
Betty
That lunch out was probably the best medicine you could possibly have. I'll bet your friends could see that twinkle back in your eye.
Have a wonderful holiday. I'll be thinking of you.
I'm glad you enjoyed your day out. May you have many more.
I am glad to hear that you are feeling a little better. I hope this next round of chemo goes better! I can't wait to see the pics! Linda
Nice boost that lunch was, Kim - good to hear you're still in high spirits!
You are amazing. You just took your cancer by the balls and said "I HAVE control of YOU!" I love that about you.
Your eyes will sparkle again. Beauty starts from the inside and works it way out. And lady you are ONE beautiful woman inside and will be on the outside again (heck you probably still are!)
Do you go to a cancer support group. I found that so helpful. Everyone there knew what I was talking about.. at home it was like I was on a different planet at time. Just a thought ... You are, as always in my prayers!
Luv,
Promise
So glad you got out and had some fun food sounds yummy too. Have a Happy Thanksgiving.
Take care, Chrissie
Friends are such an important part of this whole process, and yours brought some of the sparkle back to your eyes, I'm sure of it. (I remember being sick in the 90's and my first "alcohol treat" was a hard lemonade!)
Your spirit comes through loud and clear and I don't doubt that 27 years is a fair estimate!
Jimmy
a 5 hour lunch? sounds great! we all could use a few of those.
Kathy
Your lunch sounds like a great time. Fun is important. There are lots of survivors out there. It is great that they come forward and give you hope.
Julie
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I am so glad you got to go out and have some fun and enjoy your friends! And 27 more years? Girlfriend, I suspect you will be living way into your 80's and beyond!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Hope you have a wonderful Thanksgiving. I know I will be giving thanks for this great new friend I made this year....and her name is KIM!!!!
((hugs))
Jeanne
Keep up your great sense of humor dear, will see you through anything. And I'm sure the boobs will still look great at 70 something. Sure you also give others going through cancer hope dear, just your personality and way with words would bring a smile to anyones face. You're in my special thoughts always. Happy Thanksiving to you and yours.....Arlene (AJ)
you are doing so well. I can't wait to see your pictures with the new wig. another round gone and you are that much closer to being finished!
I hope you have a wonderful thanksgiving!
tina
Hi Kim,
I'm so glad you had a chance to go out with your friends and laugh and have a wonderful time! Much needed fun, I'm sure. Can't wait to see pics of your new "do", bet you look beautiful, as always! Hope you have a great Thanksgiving and can't wait for the chemo to be over and for you to start feeling good once again. Love your positive attitude!
Take Care,
~Bilinda~
Biggest hugs! You have been in my prayers.
Martha
I know you enjoyed that time out with your friends!!! I hope this chemo is gentle on you this time...God bless and keep you hon....You are gonna make it, you are doing good....keep hangin in there, ok?
love ya,
Carlene
I'm betting it's only you that doesn't see that spark. You can't take away an Irish girls spark, sorry not even cancer is capable of that. My dad as deathly ill as he was the last time I spent with him before he finally lost his battle still had the spark. Hang in there!!!! You're always in my prayers. Hugs, Brandy
Ahhhhh, how i love going out to lunch with girl friends and
sitting there for 4 or 5 hours...eating and chatting away....
Good times....Good times! So glad you were able to enjoy it!
Can't wait to see the pic of you =) I'm sure you look beautiful!
Happy Thanksgiving
Hugss..~Terri~
Yes, your boobies will look lovely at 70......Hey its cool that you got out to hang out with your friends....It does take energy to socialize at least it does for me....five hours I would have been ready for yoga...lol....glad to hear you got out missy..raven
Actually, there is a warrenty on them... chat me up when your getting those babies! Been there, done that, three times... Oops did I say that?
Hugs,
Kendra
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