I don't know where this originated from or who the original Author is....I would have loved to have given this person her props......it actually made me laugh out loud and touched my heart too........enough for me to post it as an entry in a journal that is now only 99.9% (give or take a point) Authored by yours truly. Hope you can nod your head at a few and giggle at the rest!
Subject: mid-life (Author Unknown)
I've seen two shows lately that went on and on about how mid-life is a
great time for women. Just last week, Oprah had a whole show on how great menopause will be.... Puhleeeeeeeze! I've had a few thoughts of my own and would like to share them with you. Whether you are pushing 40, 50, 60 (or maybe even just pushing your luck) you'll probably relate.
Mid-life is when the growth of hair on our legs slows down. This gives us
plenty of time to care for our newly acquired mustache.
In mid-life, women no longer have upper arms, we have wing spans.
We are no longer women in sleeveless shirts, we are flying squirrels in
drag.
Mid-life is when you can stand naked in front of a mirror and you can see your rear without turning around.
Mid-life is when you go for a mammogram and you realize that this is the
only time someone will ask you to appear topless.
Mid-life is when you want to grab every firm young lovely in a tube top and scream, "Listen honey, even the Roman empire fell and those will too."
Mid-life brings wisdom to know that life throws us curves and we're sitting on our biggest ones.
Mid-life is when you look at your-know-it-all, beeper-wearing teenager and think: "For this I have stretch marks?"
In mid-life your memory starts to go. In fact the only thing we can retain is water.
Mid-life means that your Body By Jake now includes Legs By Rand
McNally--more red and blue lines than an accurately scaled map of Wisconsin.
Mid-life means that you become more reflective...You start pondering the "big" questions. What is life? Why am I here? How much Healthy Choice ice-cream can I eat before it's no longer a healthy choice?
But mid-life also brings with it an appreciation for what is important. We realize that breasts sag, hips expand and chins double, but our loved ones make the journey worthwhile. Would any of you trade the knowledge that you have now, for the body you had way back when? Maybe our bodies simply have to expand to hold all the wisdom and love we've acquired.
That's my
philosophy and I'm sticking to it!
(Kim note) Now is that the truth or what???
12 comments:
ROFLMAO! Boy can I relate! Hopefully that's my laugh for the day cause my sagging boobs and flying squirrels can't take much more exercise!
MAryanne
I hate to say it, because I am only 32, but I needed this entry. I am in for big trouble when I hit 50 and 60 I'm afraid, because lately I have been noticing things on my body that I have NO idea where they came from and I wish they would go Back to where they came from. LOL
hey there i truly love stopping by your journal.i never know what you have in store for your readers.most of the time it is words of wisdom and sometimes i get a good laugh like today.that is really funny and totally true.you do gain wisdom as you get older.you learn to accect and deal with things better.keep up the great writings. your journal friend, diana
p.s. hope you stop by my journal again if you have the chance.
LOL this is so true. But you must remember that's why men's eyesight goes bad so they can still view us as the love of their life! It also means that there is just so much more of you to love...Sandi http://journals.aol.com/sdoscher458/LifeIsFullOfSurprises
This was so good, I needed this laughter, I even snorted; Flying squirrels in drag indeed.
h
hey again just wanted to tell you that i put your link on my journal.wanted others to see how great your writing are.if its a problem i can take it off.get back to me. diana
OMG This was hilarious
Thanks so much for visiting my journal and leaving your link.... I want to repay the compliment you left me.... after reading this entry... I nearly wet my pants laughing... don't know why though---IT WAS TOO CLOSE TO HOME TO BE FUNNY!!!!
hahahaha... I am every one of those things.!!!
At this point in my life I'm (hot) flashing so much I think I could work as a marquee sign on the strip of Las Vegas.
Anyway... thanks for the haha's it was a blast. Have a great day.
Angieabk @ Living just off the strip
actually, at 49 I do feel pretty great! I only wish I looked as good as i feel!
marti
Love it!!! I have gotten so many e-mails on the topic, but I think I love this one best. Mind if I link to it? Sassy ;-)
http://journals.aol.com/debbted/SassysSecondWord
If that is true that our body's expand for the wisdom we can...I must be a Genius! Ha!
Post a Comment