Friday, August 5, 2005

2 down.........2 to go!

OK, Child number 2 (Amanda) the child who would have rather been homeless then get a job (and she still hasn't landed one yet and even admitted to me that she hasn't been looking) moved into her first apartment you ask? Well, it's an accident waiting to's a 2 bedroom 1 bath apartment to be shared by an ever changing cast of characters........first was her and her boyfriend Wayne, then Wayne's best friend and his girl....problem with that is both the girls wanted to be Diva's and as you all know bu now, only one Diva per household! lol

So they have another 'Couple' that is moving in with then later this week, and no matter how much I have tried to tell her that this is destined to be a disaster, she is more like me than I ever thought possible and in spite of herself is going to do this anyway! I have to keep reminding myself she is almost 20 and has to learn things the hard way, much like her Mother. She knows I pretty much stick to my guns on almost everything so even after living from friends house to friends house and sometimes sleeping in her car, she has not asked me for anything......I guess I will not know if tough love is working until I see her fly then soar on her own.

When our oldest Daughter moved out earlier in the year, she did not ask for anything either, we helped her and her Fiance Tony, move  into their own apartment and I went out grocery shopping for them. I bought all the necessities that a new household needs, paper products, cleaning products, and the basic grocery items. They did not ask, but I told them to consider it a house warming gift from Mom and Dad......and I did the same for Amanda and Wayne......if they want to spread their wings and fly they can do it on a full stomach and after that they are on their own. They will make their own way in life because sooner or later all the guidance and all the lessons taught will take effect and they will prove to us they were listening all along....even though we felt it was always a brick wall we were speaking too. After all, I was far...far... FAR.... worse and I turned out all right! lol

The one thing I want most for my children is
to prove me wrong when I thing they are making a me that I underestimated them and that they need me less than I ever thought. After all, isn't that what every parent wants......a self sufficient child? Now with 2 gone from the nest and 2 more to go I just look at the 2 youngest (13 & 14) and think to myself........"Now what they hell are you gonna put me through before you fly from me!" LOL

Having babies is easy........raising babies is easy.......surviving their teenage years is where the true challenge begins!!!  2 down, 2 to go..........Lord give me strength and patience.........I need a lot of both! And let me..... be able to let them........ make their mistakes....after all life will always come with lessons.


courtenaymphelan said...

Someone said "The greatest thing a parent can do for his child is allow them to make mistakes at the age mistakes are most easily recovered from." They have a great mom and I predict they will turn out just fine....cmp

sunnyside46 said...

I am so with you on this one...if we can get them through the teenage years...
Amanda is probably having a good ol' time!
when she gets bored with having no money & the communal spirit goes sour,she will get a job...the reason I know is because that is when i got one! LOL

cneinhorn said...

you know I totally agree with you on all of this...I hope they do prove you wrong, because being right in this situation isn't  fun or rewarding...I cringe at things the kids do, and I brace myself for the teenage years with my SD and my little 17 year old, God love her, is doing a pretty good job so far even though she thinks she knows more than me  ;-)


gabreaelinfo said...

I simply did the opposite of what my folks did in raising our son. He is great at 22.
My biggest regret in life is that I didn't have more children. Enjoy them while you have them at home to enjoy.

Take Care,

happysunshien said...

oh good lord i am ready to kill my child as it is...and she is 13...she is gonne drive me to drink.....


curvyanglintexas said...

LOL Very well said! I do not have children of my own, but I have 3 much younger brothers [one just entering his teens and the others not far from it!] So I can most certainly relate!


sdoscher458 said...

It's been a year since my "baby" moved out...his was the hardest because when the others left...he was still there.  I'm kind of a nuturer, love kids wish I had had six or eight!  Joey is doing okay, he has his own apartment now, went through a horrible breakup, smashed up his car...changed jobs...but he's surviving...I guess that is what is all about....pushing them out of the nest and watching them soar! Sandi

krobbie67 said...

Definite mistake! I can attest from first hand experience. When I was 19 (many moons ago), my boyfriend and I lived together with another couple. It went HORRIBLY! Too many people wanting to be in control. Nightmare. I could see one person but not another couple. But, you know, I did it. I learned and I'm living. You're right in letting them make their mistakes and grow from them.
:-) ---Robbie

jmorancoyle said...

    I think 20 means unemployed and stubborn. I still have my eldest 2 at home with me, although both have ultimatums. Do what I say or else. Number 2 is 20, and he will be living in his car soon, which is not going anywhere because it needs repairs, or he will get himself a job. I tough love harder on us or them? I got one to worry about after that. She's 14 and starts high school this year. Good luck in all your endeavors and with all your offspring.

paisleyskys said...

Oh to go through this 4 times is more then I can imagine!
I have a chill just thinking about it~
I think the absolute hardest thing I have ever had to do was Accept when I didn't Approve.
I have to work on it everyday.
It can be bittersweet.

Wishing you health, happiness and laughter.

lazarai said...

You are so right, Kim! I admire the way you are handling your oldest two and will be interested to see how they turn out, as well! :) Mine are 16 and almost 13 and every day I think, "GEEZ, their teenage years are WAY more challenging than ANYTHING I've dealt with in their lives AND my life so far." I think it's the lack of an instruction manual....and of course the fact that even my two are so different from each other....that makes every little thing a challenge with both of them!


mzgoochi said...

Good luck to the kids and an extra good luck to you Kim.


mamamiah41 said...


rlspina said...

Come over and see my doubles, I couldn't figure out how to put them in the stream.  I'm new at this, any help is appreciated.
Thanks, Louisa