Finding my 'fixes' when I can

Do we take so much for grant it here on this earth that we have become blind to all the beauty that surrounds us? Being in one place for too long has blinded me from it, I seem to only get excited when I can see something new to my senses. The under water world appeals to me because if is yet a place where I have had a chance to explore. When I see pictures and film from the true down under I am amazed at the vibrance of color and the shapes of the things that live freely there. I also am in awe of photos that are brought back to us from space.... another place I know I will never visit. Just look at this photo you will feel its awe too. (Thanks Courtenyay) I needed some inspiritation for today.

                     

"The eye of God" courtesy of NASA Space Hubble Telescope"

 

I seem to be craving something and yet I have no idea what it is. I have found several quick fixes to tide me over, but I seem to need an experience fix at faster and faster intervals. Maybe it's because once again I have sabotaged myself by taking on more responsibilities that I want to commit to right now and I am feeling the effects of that. Being allowed the freedom of being a stay at home Mom for almost 14 years has spoiled me, I hate having to dance to anyone else's tunes and tempos. My true spirit, my free spirit.... lets me wander at will and I love that. If I want to spend hours with my camera... I can, If I want to spend hours in the kitchen on a cooking frenzy I can (although this doesn't happen anymore nearly as much as my family would like it too! lol) If I want to have a jammie day and lounge all day in my joe boxers and one of my Hubby's T-shirts I can do that too, Who knows!  One thing is for sure the house stays messy longer than I would like but I attribute that to the stay at home syndrome too....."why do today what you can put off until tomorrow" OK...... I know that is not the way the saying goes but it works for me..........lol

I think another contributing factor to my on going funk is school is letting out soon and my days alone with my thoughts are dwindling. My summer will be filled with, "I'm Bored! There's nothing to do" and "Can we go somewhere today?" and the dreaded, "What's to eat? there's nothing to eat in this house!" Part of this is my fault, I keep my lil ones close to me, they are not allowed to roam free for hours and hours like most of their friends. I had two very frightening experiences when I was younger, one at 12 then another when I was 16 and those have almost paralyzed me with fear that some harm can come to my child, my baby so I am forever vigilant in keeping them safe. My older two don't seemed harmed by my parenting techniques, so I pretty much stick to form on the last two lil ones.

We as parents try to do a little better than our parents did, I was very lucky because my Mother made few mistakes, it is with her voice that I let guide me in so many of my parenting skills, My father was deficient in parenting skills but when he was in his "dad" mode he was a lot of fun to be around, so I have taken that with me in my children's lives. I try to have plenty of fun with them. In retrospect they only need us for a very short time in the span of their lives so I make sure I am always available or at least I try to......This girl has learned the hard why that I too need to spend time with me! lol

Until next time!

 

FINDING MY GROOVE YET AGAIN

I feel a new change coming on, I've been in what I call a funk for the last few weeks and for the first time in a long time I found myself getting frustrated because I couldn't figure out the cause of it. I'm not unhappy at home, although parenting has its trials and tribulations. I do believe I was one of the chosen few and found the man of my little girl dreams early in life, but something was gnawing at me and I was starting to get paranoid about it.

I started asking myself questions that I thought I had already settled about myself and I hate second guessing myself more than anything, I am a very intuitive when it comes to me and my life, but I kept getting this strong feeling of foreboding and it really started getting to me, so I shut down and spent a lot of time alone soul searching again. I am settled with my past, there is nothing back there that can hurt me now at this stage in my life, I see no drastic changes coming in my future, vibes are good. I liken it to how I get in the fall when I know winter is coming, I don't do well in the early months of winter, I go into my own hibernation.

I think I finally had a good read on what it could be......I think maybe my daily life is getting a bit to mundane which happens when your caught in the "tween" time with kids, some able to fend for themselves and some still needed Mom several times a day......it's like you see the clearing up ahead but it's still a ways off, kinda like what a race horse must feel like when it's in the gate and ready to run. So I made plans with girlfriends for the middle of the week slump....the time when you are rested from the weekend before but its not time to get excited about the weekend coming up.

Yesterday afternoon, some of us girls got together and hit a new outlet mall in the area, (what fun!) then had a martini break in between, and the owner of the establishment was kind enough to have a taste test a few new appetizers he was planning on adding to the menu.....can you say YUMMY!! We tried to get him to let is taste test some more martini's but he wasn't going for that! lol Then we did some more power shopping and then went off to a fabulous restaurant that has a Cuban/Miami feel to it. Nothing like the sound of running water, some great fresh seafood and a few more martinis to top of the day!

I have to admit it was funto do a spur of the moment get together .......and shop and fine dine! We decided we should do a girls night out dinner once a month in the middle of the week, no kids or hubby's invited and every month someone picks out the restaurant to share the experience with friends, sounds like fun huh? And finally at 42 I am not so quick to say "YUCK" on trying new foods lol.... I tried escargot on the cruise in February with the girlfriends, I didn't care for it but I'm glad I tried it, this month so far, I've tried oysters Rockefeller, calamari and mahi mahi.........only 1 yum and that was the Mahi Mahi! who knew???? They blackened then steamed it over an open flame on a cedar plank and it was served with some type of Caribbean salsa on top, fresh veggies and dirty rice.......YUMMY!

Things to try when given the chance
Midnight Martini - Chilled glass, raspberry vodka, raspberry chambord, a splash of sprite and a few fresh black grapes

Peprocini appetizers - wash and cut about one inch from the stem, clean out cavity, roll some smoked mozzarella into a strip of
Prosciutto dipped in any flavored dipping oil and serve chilled!

Yes, I think I might of found my 'GROOVE' yet again........feels good to be back! lol lol lol

Turtle Rescue 911

We spent the weekend getting the beach at the lake ready, and before the tractor could get out there with the huge rakes on the end to clean it of all the winter debris, the kids ran out to do a baby turtle rescue first.

So with plastic yard rakes they went along the waters edge along the tree line and found about 7 babies that needed to be relocated before they were crushed beneath the tractors weight. My son brought along my camera and he was able to capture the rescue up close and personal.......think he's got his Mommsa's eye! lol

Cutest turtle in the world don't ya think! lol

Got Quiote?

Swan Lake

Swan Lake
2005

kmh

Yet another curve ball....

When life throws you curve balls...........

Yesterday was one of those days....we all have them....there's usually a lesson to be taught, a lesson to be learned and a mental image burned so deep you don't make that mistake a second time.

My husband took our youngest son with him to the store to pick up a few things we needed for the lake, every weekend is spent at the lake among friends and family, its a safe place to let the kids run free and the parents can sit back and enjoy other adult company and conversation.

Lil Jimmy decided to make a bad decision........he saw a small package of Nike sweat wrist bands and took them without paying for them......yes, he shoplifted. Now DH didn't even realize this until they were half way home.....what did DH decide to do you ask? He decided to let Mom handle it.............Thanks HUN!!!!

My son tearfully told me what he did, but could not explain to me or himself why he did it. I said, "You know we are going back to the store and finding the store manager and make this right don't you?" And as he hung his head in shame he whispered "Yes" I said it's not only the right thing to do, but it will make you feel better about yourself, because I'm sure your not feeling good about you right now, are you?" He whispered, " No.... I'm not ." He actually asked or should I say begged to be grounded forever, have some of his favorite things taken away from him, even spanked.......anything but suffer the humiliation of admitting to the Manager what he did, he was truly embarrassed........But I thought good lesson..... taught the hard way.

We drove to his bank, took out a 10 dollar withdrawal, and drove silently back to the store, I asked to speak to the manager at the service desk, I was asked as to why, I stated personal reasons and we waited for the Manager to arrive. Within a few minutes he approached us, I introduced myself and my son and told him my son had something to tell him, he escorted us to his office with my son in a hyperventilation state (true). We gave him a moment to catch his breath, I gave him a wink and he spilled his guts.

The Manager was a very nice man, who told my son that he didn't have to come back to the store and own up to what he did, and then he praised him for taking responsibility for what he did. He gave him a run down of what could of happened to my son, if they decided to press charges or if he was actually caught shoplifting.......the police would of been called, other agencies because he was a minor, and how his parents can be held liable for him with the store having the right to collect up to 10 times the amount stolen......My son apologized to the Manager and then to me and told the manager he wanted to do the right thing and pay for the item with his own money.

Now for Mom's twist on what to do........Yes, I made my Son pay for the item.... tax and all, but he was not allowed to buy the item, the item was returned to the store and the money given was donated to the stores current fundraiser, which happened to be for breast cancer research.

I told my Son that there are going to be plenty of times that I might not be proud of him or his choices, but that I.... his Momma is always going to love him and even though he made a wrong decision that day, I was very proud of him when he stood up and took responsibility for it. He was able to walk out of there with his head held up high again because he righted the wrong that he did and felt better about himself. I'm sure he's going to remember that ride home from the store (when he was caught), the ride to his bank and then the ride back to the store with that long walk back to the Managers office......it was probably the longest 45 minutes of his 12 year old life.

A lesson, a lil humiliation and a hug and all was right in the world again.

WEEKEND ASSIGNMENT #59

Weekend Assignment #59: Teachers Worth Remembering

John Scalzi

Mrs. D has this hands down! She was not my teacher but the 1st grade teacher to my Son James. Since his birth I always knew there was something different about this child, he was born a great thinker and not only was his mind racing at top speed all the time but so was his tiny little body! He wasn't the type of child that took how anything ran at face value, no he had to take it apart to see how it worked, then put it back together then take it apart again to see if he could improve on its design.

He never sat still, he was always in motion.... a constant blur and a constant challenge. I decided when he was 3 to put him in a 2 afternoon a week Parents Day Out Program so I could spend some alone time with his sister who was just 10.5 months older than him, I felt that she was robbed of 'Mommy' time because his arrival was so short after hers, and she was by far the least squeaky wheel in the family, she didn't mind taking a back seat to her siblings but I wanted time set aside for her and I. We spent those afternoons talking, playing, shopping, tea parties you name it we did it.

The good times were always over shadowed when ever I picked my Son up from the PDO program, I was ALWAYS told how he disrupted the class, how he couldn't follow the simplest direction, how he could not sit still, how he bothered everybody included the teacher, how he seemed to bully the other kids, the last straw came when I walked in one afternoon to pick him up only to over hear the teacher (not Mrs. D) say "how she hated Tuesdays and Thursdays because HE was there!" to another Mother.....needless to say I was LIVID! How very unprofessional of her, and believe you me!!!!  I voiced my concerns with her and the administrator and I pulled him from that class.

The following year came a wonderful Preschool teacher who was better equipped to handle my Son......She knew he was a handful but loved him in spite of himself.....Then Kindergarten and I was constantly called on the carpet because of the same issues he exhibited earlier and was told he was a discipline problem over and over......Well I am not about tobeat the Holy hell out of my child everyday to make him a better student...I needed answers and didn't know where to look for them......he was my only boy with 3 older sisters and I and everybody else that knew him attributed this to 'He's a boy that is what boys do' and since I had no one to compare him to I bought into that for a while too.

First Grade and Mrs. D.....finally half way through school she called me in one day and said, "I don't think Jimmy CAN control himself and his impulses, I want to have him tested for ADHD"......finally someone who saw what I saw and possibly had a solution and not just pass it off as a discipline problem for me to handle at home. After several batteries of tests, being evaluated by a Pediatric Specialist, cat scans and mri scans of the brain, blood tests to make sure it wasn't biological in nature and then finally a PET scan he was diagnosed severe ADHD he was textbook perfect ADHD.(future testing showed other things that we can be exposed to as he grows and a year later he was diagnosed with ODD.. Oppositional Defiant Disorder.)Whole nother ballgame!

With Mrs. D by my side along with his Doctors my son was finally given a fighting chance to get the best education he deserves, with the right amount of medication and behavior therapy he is a happy (most of the time Ü) well adjusted child who can sit still in class and not disrupt his fellow students who can process what he is being taught and has become not only an excellent student but there aren't any more discipline problems out of the realm of normalcy.

Mrs. D.....that one teacher who could step out of the box and realized that not every child is from the cookie cutter type and that the ones with special needs are worthy of understanding, patience and a good education. We all became better at our jobs, her as a teacher, it taught her to look for signs early and act on them, me as a parent because the whole process taught me the tools I needed to handle Jimmy and Jimmy  himself to become all he can be. He is in advanced studies and he is no longer is a discipline problem at home or school and he is ready to take on 8th grade in the fall!