Hiya!...long time no keyboard! lol

I think might be the longest I've ever stayed away from my blog! I'm still trying to adjust to my new chemo, not as harsh as the A,C and T that they give you when you are first diagnosed with breast cancer but not as easy as the Xeloda. The first week they gave me back to back treatments to get a jump start..that was a Monday, I didn't wake up till Thursday......seriously! Whenever I woke up it was day light but I didn't know if it was A.M. or P.M. I lost 7 pounds in my sleep even though Jim tried everything to get me to eat including calling in the reinforcements! lol Mom, Sister, Brother....2nd chemo was only 1 dose.......not so much a coma that week....still tasted buds are M.I.A :( 3rd week just blood work but they already had to reduce my chemo....blood count dropped enough to warrant it. So I'm hoping by the this time next week I'm settled into a routine with the new chemo/sleep....I still lose my words (very frustrating), I still lose my voice after each chemo session....So just when I start to have some really good days ( bad days aren't bad at all...not sick just sleepy...how hard is that right?? lol lol lol) ..... its chemo time again! lol Other than that we just did tumor marker tests yesterday and I won't know the results of those until next Monday... So once again I throw my faith, trust and hope into a new batch of chemo and hope 3rd time is the charm!

I'm going to be going up north soon and I can't wait!.....Bald Eagles, Northern Lights, friends we only get to see once a year and I hope by then I will regained enough of my strength that I carelessly gave away. It's weird, I've never gone that long without almost proper (I'm bad) nourishment and how fast it attacks the body and the mind...everything gets weak on you, your muscles, your eyesight, your mind plays tricks on you....so many times I thought I heard things I didn't, seen things that weren't there! Some of it was pretty funny but it had Jim worried enough that he took off last Friday because he thought he was going to have to hospitalize me for dehydration and maybe a feeding tube. I'm not going to let myself do that again....fridge is stocked with ensure, boost, carnation instant breakfast and moose tracks ice cream! lol.....vanilla of course!

Well, I'm going to try and catch up on journals....I turned a majority of them off when I was in Kentucky last month so I wouldn't be overwhelmed when I got back and I haven't been on the computer since right before my 1 year anniversary with cancer.......July 27, 2006....I thought I would have a hard time with that, but I didn't, just another day.......besides I have something better to spend my thoughts in.......my wedding anniversary is tomorrow and I have way more than a year to go through and realize all that I have been blessed with.....starting with the Man I married......My Jim....blessed indeed!

I have also been very fortunate to have the best insurance which covers my whole treatment....which leaves me with a trail and error of prescriptions...half used.....so many people could use this medicine....does anyone know a program that will take my old meds and give them to those less fortunate (which means FREE) I know my girlfriend was able to do that with her shots while trying to get pregnant....once she was pregnant they gave those shots to couples who didn't have the best of insurance or who's insurance didn't cover trying to get pregnant at all.....any info would be helpful!

Love,

K.