Sunday, May 6, 2007

It's a great day to be alive!

I met with Dr. Nuke Friday morning and I was assured once again that I really do like her Doctoring style! lol We once again went over what whole brain radiation is and what the risks are and I am comfortable with everything. She asked me if I ever wore a football helmut before......Hmmmmm can't say for sure if I have, she laughed and said that is the part of my head that will be nuked, all that would be covered by a football helmut....so since my face won't be nuked I get to keep my eyebrows and eyelashes....vain as it is, they help define a face when there is no hair....I can do bald again, no problem and just as I finish up with my last nuke my hair should start to fall out.....go figure! lol lol lol

They asked me if I was claustrophobic, I am not, they asked if I ever had a mask made of my face...ohhhh I feel a slight bit of panic there, I said no, never had a mask made of my face....they asked if I ever had
Ativan...nope to that question too! lol So they give me two of the tiniest pills I have ever seen and next thing you know I am one stoned woman, they asked if I needed assistance while we walked down the hall to the room they were going to 'mask' me and scan me and I said no thank you I have been to plenty of happy hours! They laughed and I giggled, Jim just held my hand tighter! lol

Thank God I took them up on the offer of the Ativan! Even though the mask is open and airy, kinda like a mesh laundry bag it was heavy and wet when they put it on my face, since my eyes were covered with gauze I couldn't see how "netty" the material was and when they first put it on my face I panicked wondering why aren't they poking holes where my nose and mouth is.......duh it was a net! But if felt as if someone who was tossing a pizza dough around in the air landed on my face...it took about 10 minutes for it to mold and harden on my face...but boy did that Ativan knock me on my butt, don't remember lunch out with Jim, don't remember talking to Rachel and Jimmy but I do remember saying Hi to my Middle daughter and her friend who had stopped by and next thing I know Jim is waking me up 4 hours later because he was worried! lol I could of slept for weeks! lol lol lol

Tomorrowat 9:00 I will be having my first Rad, I won't be taking any Ativan...the nuke procedure is only 2 minutes long, if I panic with the mask on tomorrow I will ask for only 1 Ativan Tuesday....I don't want to sleep the next three weeks away!

Yesterday I only needed to take half of a pain pill and today I am still pain free......that is a beautiful thing considering they sent me home with a war chest of pain killers...Both Dr. Serious and Dr. Nuke think this is a very good sign....that this chemo is doing what it is supposed to and the tumors and lesions in my lungs aren't producing any more fluid so breathing is an easy thing for me once again.

Life........I like it, I love it, I want some more of it! lol lol lol

58 comments:

Anonymous said...

 I would definately need the ativan.  Hope everything goes well tomorrow.

                Julie

Anonymous said...

Drink it all in girl!
Hey... you could get a second career peddling your leftovers... *wink*
hope all goes well tomorrow...
*hugs*
heather

Anonymous said...

Well...there's my angel running at life as usual and getting high on it too!   Lol!
I'm not sure about the mask bit....you are the bravest person I've ever known.  I am so glad your body is grabbing itself back again too.  A scene from 'Flashdance' enters my mind as I write.....'what a feelin'    Yaaaaay!    Love Jeanie  xx

Anonymous said...

I am LMAOOOOOOOOOO At the Ativan!!!! I have Ativan for panic attacks. But yours must have been a much better doesage, because I feel "fuzzy" on mine but not knocked out.
Your so cute.
Hugs
Ang

Anonymous said...

I truly do love your entries. Prayers going up still...and I am relieved that you are breathing well

Michele

Anonymous said...

Ativan can be a beautiful thing when you really need them, lol.  LMAO @ the Happy Hour comment!  Hugs, B

Anonymous said...

have a good sunday:) keeping you in prayer

Deb

Anonymous said...

I am glad that you are not in any pain right now. My prayers are still going up for you. Helen

Anonymous said...

Glad the pain is being managed and you are doing so well with the procedures!  Sounded like a super pill!  Keeping you in my prayers!  

Anonymous said...

I was just thinking about the panic feeling and wondering if they would make nose holes as I was reading...I could just feel the panic...I think I would feel causterphobic.  My grandpa just had that done and I couldn't remember if they fitted him..they got that new Saber Knife guess it is better than the gamma knife..Will be praying for you as always!!!  Take care of yourself and rest.  Big hugs,TerryAnn

Anonymous said...

Wow, that sounds great!  I am so glad you are not feeling any pain, the treatment can be worse than the illness, most times.  {{{HUGS}}}
You're always in my prayers, Kim!  
Marie

Anonymous said...

KIMMY, WHAT A BRAVE WARRIOR YOU ARE!~ I PRAY FOR YOU EVERY NIGHT. THEY GAVE ME ATIVAN AFTER MY HUSBAND DID HIS "THING" FOR MY PANIC AND I KNOW HOW YA FEEL..UUUGGHH..I DON'T WANT TO SLEEP MY LIFE AWAY.  HUGS TO YOU AND YOURS...LORI

Anonymous said...

<guesses she has said enough. ~ Mary ox
ps  Optimoist Oral Moisturizer, too ;-)

Anonymous said...

Do you get to keep the mask? Please take a picture of it. Glad everything is going well. You continue on my prayer list. =.)

Anonymous said...

FANTASTIC!

I just love good news.
I'm super happy that your pain is minimal.

ex-ativan patient;0)
Niki

Anonymous said...

Kim, you are always in my thoughts, Hugs Lisa

Anonymous said...

it's so wonderful that the pain has diminished and they feel the treatments are working.  hang in there!!!  :)  keep fighting!!!  we are pulling for you and praying for you.
gina

Anonymous said...

Ya, if you can keep it it could come in handy come Halloween time! HA! Eyebrows & lashes are a very good thing. Goof luck tomorrow & glad you are feeling so good...I mean without the drugs! HA!

Anonymous said...

Kim it truly is a great day to be alive! It's great to hear today is pain free, am praying for many more pain free days ahead. Have a wonderful Sunday with your family.
Love
Debbie

Anonymous said...

It's all sounding so positive, this time we'll really kick it out of the ball game.

I find it strange you have to have different treatments for different places, I thought Chemo was a bit like a systemic insecticide, you know, you spray a bit on the leaves and it goes through the whole plant getting rid of the nasties. It shows how little I know!

Linda x.

Anonymous said...

h

Anonymous said...

Kim...that ativan must be pretty powerful stuff!!! I wonder what yout alked about while you were under it's effects at lunch! hehehe!
I firmly believe that all the prayers are working for you Kim and all will be well for you. God bless!
love you,
carlene

Anonymous said...

I think drugs are a WONDERFUL thing!!!  No reason for you to be uncomfortable my friend!!  And I totally agree....it's a GREAT day to be alive!!!

((hugs))
Jeanne

Anonymous said...

Kim, the good Lord is watching over you as are all of your loved ones back home and here on-line with you with our prayers....keep strong, you're a definite warrior dear and life wants you in it, so feel good that your treatments will go well for you.....hey great news getting to keep your lashes and eyebrows pretty one......bless you, Arlene (AJ)

Anonymous said...

This is all such positive news.  So glad to hear you were comfortable.  Take the time for you and enjoy it. Life is worth living! Love the positiveness! Take care

Anonymous said...

Then when you're done with your radiation, they give you the face mask as a momento...kinda like a stuffed head for your wall!  My husband went thru radiation from a bout with laryngeal cancer...thank God medicine has made such great strides!!  Take care...
xoxo ~Myra

Anonymous said...

Amen to that .... more life!!!  For you and all yours... Sending prayers... yes, ativan is like a super hopped up xanax!   Glad things are improving!!!  You made me laugh, and smile... I hope this week goes smooth!!

be well,
Dawn
http://journals.aol.com/princesssaurora/CarpeDiem/

Anonymous said...

It is  a good thing that you are not clausterphobic.  I am........horribly!  I hope everything goes well tomorrow.  Linda

Anonymous said...

That Ativan is strong stuff. And it has amnesiac qualities. You won't remember anything!  We call it "vitamin A" at work.  Have a great Sunday.
Pam

Anonymous said...

Good luck with the treatment. B. x

Anonymous said...

h

Anonymous said...

    I'm praying for you, and I'm happy you aren't having complications. Keep up the good work.
Jude
http://journals.aol.com/jmorancoyle/MyWay

Anonymous said...

I am praying all goes well for you.
loving you
karyl

Anonymous said...

i'm over here in Ohio praying for you. Ativan is a Godsend. TAKE CARE OF YOURSELF pretty lady.
lisa jo

Anonymous said...

h

Anonymous said...

you are the bravest person i know.... i would be curled up in a fetal position.... you keep fighting girl...... love, gina

Anonymous said...

She sounds like a good doctor. I can just imagine how funny you are "stoned". Glad hubby is there holding on tight...Think positive dear, I am too...love, Sandi

Anonymous said...

I may not add a comment for every one of your entries, but I stay devoted in reading through yours. My heart is with you continually as awell as prayers. You have become a source of conversation with us, as I feel so close to you although I really do not know you. God Bless ya Kim~ Humor is the best medicine sometimes.......@ Happy Hour drunk
Angel

Anonymous said...

Ohhh the ativan...been there done that. They put in in an IV for my first chemo and I went from pertrified to I don't give a shit. What a scary thing to have your face covered like that. I will be thinking about you tomorrow and I know you will do great.  Sounds like the chemo pill is doing what it is supposed to that is good news. I am glad you are breathing better.
Trish

Anonymous said...

Ah, good calming drugs...  I definitely would have needed it for that mask.  I still shudder when I think about the facial I once had...  I hope your radiation goes well tomorrow.  I'll definitely be thinking about you.  2 minutes sounds good.
Stephanie

Anonymous said...

Good luck tomorrow, Kim.  I'll be thinking about you.

Viki

Anonymous said...

{{{{Kim}}}} You've taught me something about heroes. (Yes, I know you're probably not comfortable with people calling you the h-word. Well, I am, so get over it. lol) Heroes - real heros - don't think about being heroes. They just get on with their business the only way they know how, and it's for the rest of us to notice how really great what they're doing is. Well, Kim, we've noticed. A lot.

Good luck tomorrow...

Always...Ben
http://journals.aol.com/totallymentalben/better-left-unsaid

Anonymous said...

Love and hugs to you!  Adivan is the best for the calming... it works wonders!!! :D  My thoughts and prayers are with you for tomorrow.  You will surely be the favorite patient they have ever had! :D  You have such an amazing personality, they will love you and treat you like family!! HUGS TO YOU!!!
Missy92980

Anonymous said...

I tried to comment this morning, but AOL was being a bear and refused to let me sign on. I would get to the sign in page and put in my password and hit the enter button and BOOM --right to a 404 page. WEIRD!

Anyway, I'm liking Dr. Nuke <g> and writing down that name... A..T...I..V..A...N! <LOL> Hoping all goes well tomorrow!

Anonymous said...

I love your attitude!!  It amazes me!!

Joann

Anonymous said...

and i pray that you get a lot more of it! that ativan sounds neat!

Anonymous said...

You are one brave chickie!  
Traci

Anonymous said...

Kim,
thank you for keep us updated.  You are one of the bravest people I have ever had contact with.  Please give Jim my best regards.  We're praying for you all.
David

Anonymous said...

h

Anonymous said...

I am a tad bit claustrophobic ......so glad you're not.
Good to hear you are not in pain at the moment. Lets keep it that way.  :)
Have a good day. I too agree it's a great day to be alive! :)
~Annie

Anonymous said...

h

Anonymous said...

Three cheers for your AMAZING attitude Kimberleigh!!! You are an inspiration!Praying for you and your family!!! Love Shauneen

Anonymous said...

much much more, second and third helpings!
Marti

Anonymous said...

Welcome back.
http://journals.aol.co.uk/acoward15/andy-the-bastard

Anonymous said...

I am praying your Monday went well.  I thought of you today as I read a fortune cookie:  "You are guided by silent love and friendship around you" ~ peace to you. Emily

Anonymous said...

Many, many prayers going out to you. Enjoy your day!

Anonymous said...

Go ativan....yummy that's some good stuff. I've had it before but can't remember why i needed..lol And yes it is a great day to be alive, upright and sucking wind!

Sweet Honey in the Rock.....Brenda

Anonymous said...

Well done you......i could not have gone through that Ativan or not.
Hugs Jayne