Tuesday, May 22, 2007

One tired Pink Warrior....battles on!

Again it seems my words and thoughts might fail me, but I'm gonna try to get an entry out anyway....again being stubborn pays off! lol

Saturday was spent out at the lake enjoying watching my friends and family live each moment without a care in the world which helps me to forget some of my cares too....if only for a little while. I socialize when I can, I rest when I need to and I need those days out in the fresh air....even if I get the chills in temperatures in the high 70's...I have no problem sitting by the lake all wrapped up like I'm going to the Chicago Bears game in mid January! lol

I like being on the oral chemo (Xeloda) much better than the AC & T that I had to have through an IV every two weeks at the cancer center...this stuff doesn't bring you to deaths door, but I will be feeling much better come Friday when I have my last radiation...then I think I get a week off, then a new brain MRI to see if that tumor has shrunk, become dormant or has left the building all together! lol No tumor could mean all cancer cells floating around my brain could all be nonexistant too! I promise I will have Jim take a picture of me and my mask on the radiation table my last time around...then you can also see how much hair has grown back before it leaves it's place of residency again! lol

This past Sunday I was able to run my fingers through my hair and see the beginning of my hair loss again....We still haven't told Jim's family that I have been sick all this time, we are going to wait until the family reunion or shortly before to let them know....we decided since they didn't handle it very well the first time around we will let them enjoy these past few months with peace in their hearts. By the time I see them again I will be bald and neither one of them could handle seeing me that way so Goldylocks was forever worn in their presence....small, itchy inconvenience on my part.

Last week My Baby Boy turned 15....I have lost all vision of his sweet baby face....he had a fantastic weekend....caught a rather large Walleye out at the lake (catch and release) and when on a 3D archery hunt with the grown men and outshoot almost all of them......except for his Daddy of course.....so right now I have two fifteen year olds until next month when Rachel turns 16.......did I mention that she has her permit and in Illinois you have to have 50 hours behind the wheel with your permitted child??  There isn't enough XANAX to get me through all that.....so my family has been pitching in and white knuckle driving with the child.........like I don't already have enough stress in my life huh??? lol lol lol

37 comments:

canyonsun04 said...

I so dread the driving time when my boys get older. Gives me the shivers. And it's only about 5 years away.  Ughhhhhhh
Stay tough ;)
Hugs
Ang

heavenlybama said...

I'm so glad you have a nice weekend.  You deserve it!  Keeping you in my thoughts and prayers Kim!
Hugs,
D
http://journals.aol.com/heavenlybama/journey-to-success

deshelestraci said...

Bless you.  I have been thinking about you all weekend.  Thank you for the update.  NOW get some rest!  
Traci

midwestvintage said...

 I always left the driving with my sons to my husband, it was just too frightening.  Glad you had a great time at the lake, wish I had caught the walleye.  Take care.

                  Julie

ktkamanski said...

You sound as though your weekend was peaceful - Happy to hear you got some fresh air.  You have the BEST ATTITUDE and SPIRIT of anyone I know!  We all pray that this aweful stuff has left the building! Take care of you and yours! Happy Belated Birthday to your son!

ashleekr said...

Keep up your positive attitude - it will get you through!!!
Love to you, Ash

sybilsybil45 said...

I have missed you these last few days  then today comes THREE alltogether !! mad world this AOL never mind you are never far from my thoughts.  Keep up the good work you old Warrior...this will soon all seem like a bad dream  lots of love from a lovely sunny UK.  Sybilsybil45

ladyvictoriak said...

I'm glad the Xeloda seems to be agreeing with you.  I would imagine the every two weeks must have been very hard.  I only had AC and went every three weeks and that was difficult for me.  I'm happy that you can go out to the lake and enjoy your family and friends.  Good luck with the rest of the radiation.  I'm hoping when MRI times, there is nothing but good news.

Viki

nhd106 said...

I like the way you see things...and seem to accept both positive and negatives.

Nancy

princesssaurora said...

Kim... Glad to hear you are still the stubborn warrior toughing it out for all.  You inspire and amaze me.  I see that last week the alerts were not working while I was away because you have some entries I didnt see!  LOL  I will be reading them now...

FYI, I am sending you lots of prayers as always... we will fight together and win!

be well,
Dawn
http://journals.aol.com/princesssaurora/CarpeDiem/

gosso23 said...

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roloz88 said...

Hi Kim, It's so good to hear from you the last few days!  I'm glad you had a good weekend.  I know what you mean about driving permits!  I was a nervous wreck with my 16 year old son.  Thankfully, his driving has improved and I do think he will be ready for his license in 3 months.  Prayers always, Rosa

lindaggeorge said...

Good to hear you are managing to get out, keep on battling.

Linda x.

pharmolo said...

You keep busy, and hope the MRI shows the wanted result in 10 days' time.

sdoscher458 said...

Two 15 year olds..talk about stress.  All kidding aside I'm glad that you were able to enjoy the lake, get some fresh air and relax a bit. Sorry that you are losing your hair again. That does show though that the medicine is doing it's job. You are foremost in my thoughts and prayers....love  Sandi

imshadowraven2 said...

Oh i am  so glad to hear from you. Sounds selfish because i know you need  your rest but i so worry when there is so much time in between your entries. I just love you so much and its the mother in me so where i am sorry its something i cant stop doing. Have a great day my friend.............Robin

pippa1116 said...

what a perfect excuse for not doing the driving thing with the daughter!!!!  
it sounds like you have this illness thing all figured out. You are listening to your body and you know what you need to stay sane and strong.
take care
tina

gandsbrock said...

Happy Birthday to your baby boy.  Awwww.  They grow up so quickly.  I do not look forward to the driving years.  Ack!  Mmmmm.  Fresh air at the lake sounds nice.  Healing.  enjoy.
Stephanie

chat2missie said...

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plieck30 said...

See your sense of humor is still kicking in. Take care pretty lady, Paula

cgtperkins said...

Glad to see an entry from you. I hope everything is perfect when they do the MRI!! I will keep you in my thoughts and prayers. Hang in there, we are all behind you cheering for you!!!
Hugs
Carrie

oddb0dkins said...

I'm glad you had a pleasant weekend. Spending time with a happy family is sometimes as good as a days rest. It lifts your spirits.
B. x

gehi6 said...

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candlejmr said...

I'm glad you have been able to spend some quiet, peaceful time by the lake.  Not only do you need that time because you are fighting that cancer so damn hard...but you need ALOT of quiet peaceful time when you have to teach that teenager to DRIVE!!!!  I, too, am about to embark on this journey again, for the second time, as soon as Kelly's knee is healed enough (because it is her RIGHT leg, of course)  I remember it well with kaitlin and it was DREADFUL!!! (lol)  Perhaps we can get together and drink a bottle of wine and THEN get in the cars with them!!! (lol)

((hugs)) AND LOVE,
Jeanne

ajquinn354 said...

Kimberleigh, how great hearing from you again so soon and seeing that you  were out at the lake with your family and friends....sure it was nice getting out and being with all of them.  Sounds like our one tough Warrior is hanging in there and I'll so happy to hear that in your words.  May your brain MRI show wonderful news for you dear. Oh you are smart letting others be there be there with Rachel while she's learning to drive.....that can be real stressful for sure on any Mom. Just know you are in my thoughts and prayers always, await your next words to all of us. Hugs are being sent........Arlene (AJ)

chaispice1023 said...

crossing everything for the MRI.  It's so good to know you're doing ok on the oral chemo.  as for the driver's permit - holy cow.  do i remember those days!

take good care of you and enjoy the lake.  you're in my prayers.

sangrialel said...

Don't you just love that 50 hour thing?  Wee have to do it here in Michigan also.  Linda

jckfrstross said...

i hear ya on the driving part lol my kids both are in their 20's and are just now getting their licences i will not ride with either one they scare me lol have a good week

Deb

tendernoggle said...

Lord, I don't blame you about riding witht he new drivers! lol My daughter nearly scared the daylights out of me while I was trying to teach her...She was turning left into another street, got to far on the wrong side and forced the mailman into the ditch with the mail truck! lol Luckyly he was a friend of ours and after getting the truck out of the ditch, we laughed ourselves silly.
I am so glad that the radiation is almost over for you!
Thinking only positive thoughts,
love ya,
carlene

am4039 said...

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rbrown6172 said...

lol  i do understand about having to go out driving with your child.  thankfully, you have help there.  i know you must be feeling rough, and probably scared, too, but it is good to hear from you.  i'm still praying for you.
gina

rdautumnsage said...

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thegirlnexdoor77 said...

Rachel is right your do have beautiful eyes and a beautiful heart!  Glad you had some time at the lake to be with family.  I will be praying for you..praying the tumor left the building all together!  Big hugs,TerryAnn

psychfun said...

I didn't realize you were in IL too! :-) My niece was 16 in Feb & in her state she only needs 9 hours! YIPES! I remember when I started we just got the schools hours in Driver's ed & that was divided between 2 others in the car. Seeing some of the younger drivers now I think it is a good idea...the more hours the better.

jmorancoyle said...

    Happy Birthday to your Jimmy.
    My Becky also has her learners permit. I hate it. She's badgering us constantly about taking her out. I made my boys wait until their 18th birthday just because I couldn't deal with taking them out. I'm very much in favor of either bringing the date up to 18, or increasing the hours to 100. Thank God for Jesse White.
Jude
http://journals.aol.com/jmorancoyle/My/Way

emabecmar said...

You are a warrior. You stay strong for your family and add to their happiness. You are an amazing lady, and I am very honored to know you here in JLand. I wish they would of gave me the pills when I was doing chemo. But they didn't. I had to go every 2 weeks for 5 1/2 hours to have the IV line put into my port and sit there bored crazy while every drop of fluid was put into me. Then I'd be sick for days and days afterwards. I had 24 sessions of this. My port was forever clogging, found out it was recalled. I had the arm port not the chest port. It got infected a few times also. But 24 treatments of chemo, and 20 sessions of radiation and I am in remission and hope to stay in remission a long time to come. I know all too well about the chills too. Man it could be 90 outside, and I felt as though I was freezing. Sleep was awful. My bones hurt so bad, it hurt to lay down, sit, stand, walk. Thank goodness for percosets, lol. I will say a prayer that your MRI shows the cancer is gone. Keep positive, rest, eat well, and remember the most important thing, your needed on this earth, not only by your family but by us here in JLand. I keep you in prayers, and I just know your gonna get some good news soon. (((((((hugs))))))))
Cindy

pprrrr39 said...

Pink Warrior.....continue battling on .

Jayne