Tuesday, May 29, 2007

Happy just to be.......

I can't tell you how much "life" has been brought back to me since my last radiation on Friday.....I remember on New Years Eve and we were all together at the drop of midnight and I just flew into my Brother's arms and cried and cried....I was so happy that I could put that part of my life behind me......4 months of chemo and I kept saying to myself......New Years Eve and this will be all over with....didn't work out that way after all but it was a good symbolism of coming in and out of everything I had go through last year.

I have felt so lifeless during my three weeks of whole brain radiation............kinda just breathed in, and breathed out....didn't have any more energy to do more than that.  I spent this weekend out at the lake and even though I needed lots of naps in between, I had fun at the luau, was even able to sip a lil frozen rum runner down my throat and finally my appetite came back....it was an all protein weekend and my body responded by feeling stronger each day.........I actually woke up yesterday with a big ole smile that I couldn't take off my face if I wanted to!  I had been an emotional wreck the whole 3 weeks of rads.......cry at the drop of a hat, had a butterfly land on me and sent me over the edge with just the sheer unexpected joy of it trusting me so much.

I feel a renewed strength coming back to me, I was a lil worried that it wasn't going to return, I couldn't get over how exhausted I was, 24/7.....but I can feel this new energy swelling up my heart and my spirit and it's about to bust all over!!! lol

Thank you all again for holding me up when I was to weak to take on the fight and for all the love sent my way....I owe you all so much and I love the J-Land community...YOU GUYS ROCK! lol lol lol

Nap time again.....I didn't have my camera out this past weekend but I'm sure I'll get some pictures from the people who did bring camera's and I will share with you all....

40 comments:

ginsherer said...

Oh, Lord, I do remember that...during my chemo, I cried if someone just looked at me...didn't even have to be in a strange way. I remember being exhausted, too...hang in there lady, you're doing ok...Ginny

sybilsybil45 said...

My Dear Warrior...What a joyful day it is for us as well to hear that you are getting some of your energy back, just keep looking forward as I know you will. Love and Prayers always  Sybilsybl45.

mutualaide said...

Kim, it's nice to know that your spirits are lifted and your energy is returning.  Hang in.  Hang tough. (Like you couldn't?)  ~Kathy~

princesssaurora said...

I am so very happy that you have those 3 wks behind you!!!  The weekend sounds like it was wonderful... and that butterfly landing on you?  A sign... for sure.  You will spread your wings again and fly free and easy soon.   It will be nice to see pics if you can share them.

For now, rest... and know we are being vigilant with our prayers and positive energy for you!!!!

be well,
Dawn
http://journals.aol.com/princesssaurora/CarpeDiem/

tendernoggle said...

Thank You God for bringing Kim's spirit up and strengthening her! Amen.
Take care and don't over-do-it now!
love ya,
carlene

mumma4evr said...

so glad you are feeling more life!!!!
becky

easteeleco said...

So glad that your weekend was a good one. :)  Estela

katie39041 said...

Life does look better when your not so tired and drained all the time. I hope your days are filled with lovely moments like the butterfly.
love and hugs
Katie

frankandmary said...

I hope the butterflies keep landing on you. ~ Mary

siennastarr said...

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siennastarr said...

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dreamingbrwneyes said...

Of all the places the butterfly could land it chose you, I think that says something, you gotta butterfly pick me up : ) Good to hear you are feeling better!

~ Jenny

madcobug said...

I am so glad that you are feeling better. All you butterflies keep on coming to visit Kim. Hugs, Helen

lanurseprn said...

I hope you continue to feel better.
Pam

ldybutterfly1128 said...

Hey Kim,

It's such wonderful news that you are bouncing back again, but I expected no less.  It may have taken you a little longer to get there, but I'm so glad you've arrived!  Prayer does in fact work.

Congratulations on your last rads appointment.  I hope they gave you a certificate of completion as they did my husband.  Along with some seeds to be planted in the garden.  Life will carry on.

As for the butterfly...my friend, you were just touched by God.  Butterflies symbolize a new creation.  YOU, my dear friend, are a new creation.  What a blessing!  I pray that the Lord would continue to meet you where you are at.

God bless you.

Jamie

ktkamanski said...

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canyonsun04 said...

What a special moment with that butterfly, like a powerful symbol!!! I can't imagine being that tired, I am glad you got some protein in and are coming back around to having more energy. I bet that lake is pretty to, I can always picture you hanging out there with a smile.
Hugs
Ang

gosso23 said...

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candlejmr said...

Hey, you needed some rest!  I think sometimes people think radiation is easier than chemo, but my experience has been that it can be just as exhausting and draining.  I am so glad you got the rest you needed....and you're STILL getting it....but I am so glad your renewed strength is back...with a vengenace...because I know you still have a whole lot more living to do!!!

((hugs)) and love and COURAGE!!!!!
Jeanne

rayne1123 said...

butterflies are a symbol of so much beauty and life.  i am happy you have been feeling a bit better
hugs
noelle

fasttrack58 said...

Enjoy the day...
Linda :)

sangrialel said...

It is so good to hear you sounding stronger!  Linda

dplkjl said...

Nature seems to agree with you...letting the wind take your hair, looking all beautiful sitting outside in the picture, a butterfly landing on you!  I love being outside, listening to the birds, being in the sun...so much beauty out there, so I am not surprised that butterfly was attracted to you!  I am so (SO!) glad that you are feeling stronger and more energetic every day.   You are on your way to that great summer!  -Kelly

pharmolo said...

I am very pleased that you're regaining strength, Kim. Keep your spirits high :)

gandsbrock said...

I'm glad to read that your strength is coming back.  And I'm especially glad that rads is over with.  Be strong girl.  Love ya, Stephanie

gehi6 said...

Just to say hello and glad you are writing again.  Gerry

redsneakz said...

Keep being strong.

I want to be like you when I grow up

am4039 said...

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cgtperkins said...

Im so glad to hear that you are feeling better and more energetic!! Maybe everyday will get better and better!! Keep on smiling!!!!
Hugs
Carrie

jckfrstross said...

i am so glad you are feeling better:) keeping you in prayer:) keep your chin high and stay strong

Deb

ekgillen said...

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sunnyside46 said...

I am so glad you are feeling better. I think os you so much.
Love,
Marti

imshadowraven2 said...

I was so happy to hear from you. You are without a doubt my hero and i pray every single day for your health to improve and for you to be able to grow old with that sweet man who  loves you so much. Give the  kids and hubby a hug for me and ((((((hugs))))))  for you my friend....................Robin

chat2missie said...

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preciousone25 said...

Butterflies are so spiritual to me, I would have been emotional too, I've NEVER had one land on me!!  I think they come to us to offer encouragement!!  I'm so glad you are feeling better!!

http://journals.aol.com/preciousone25/JoannsWeightLossJourney/
Joann

randlprysock said...

I am so glad you are regaining strength.  Hang in there!!!!!!! Keep up the good fight and you will beat this!  Hey, alerts are working again!!!  Finally!  Sorry it took me so long to get here.
Lisa : )

rdautumnsage said...

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lindaggeorge said...

Good to hear you are feeling stronger, hope to hear of more improvements soon.

Linda x.

jmorancoyle said...

    Clap, clap, clap. I'm standing up now. So I guess I'm sending you a standing ovation. I'm very happy to hear you are feeling better.
Jude
http://journals.aol.com/Jmorancoyle/MyWay

midwestvintage said...

  I am so glad your feeling stronger and better each day.  Glad you had the lake to go to renew yourself.

            Julie