Whewwww! It seems I snuck past depression this winter without any big issues. Here it is the beginning of February already and I noticed that it stayed light outside until just a lil past 5:30 yesterday evening. For me sunlight plays a major role in gauging the passing of winter.
Because of my passion for life, people have a hard time understanding what winter does to me, it all started 12 years ago. I think what triggered it was the fact that I had spent half of my life with my father and half of my life without him, he died when I was 16 and it was almost the 16th year since his death. I don't know why that was such a huge "marker" of time, but it really did a number on me. I don't think most men really understand the role a Father plays in a daughters life, if they did and they could think past themselves for a moment, some of them might stick around more often. I cannot tell you how many grown women are a lil messed up in their own way because of "Father Issues." With my Father choosing booze (yes I said choose! You can either choose to get help or your choose NOT to, it is a choice to me) over his relationship with his family, particularly me made it very difficult for the young men in my life when I was younger. They had to jump hoops to prove to me that they had staying ability. It's not that I was insecure because I wasn't, I just needed them to prove how much they wanted to be with me. What a diva! lol lol lol
I did 2 years of therapy and almost 3 years of meds back then, but at sometime shortly after that I decided to go med free. I don't suggest this for anyone, but it did well for me. I have learned to battle it in other ways..... Now I am almost symptom free. I still get the blues now and then and my share of the winter doldrums, but nothing like it was back then. Here is a link to some positive ways I handle this, I blogged about it my first winter of writing again. It was a four part series. "Dealing with Depression"
Sometimes is good to look back now and then, it helps you to see just how far you came!