2nd wives Club (5)

This series all began because "our" oldest Daughter (the Daughter of Jim's 1st marriage who I love like one of my own and who I helped raise) is getting married soon, in order to understand where we are, I had to start from how we got there.......to read from the begining click this link  ~~~>>> 1st wife vs 2nd Wife

 

Jim was fast learning to dread the sound of the door bell in the middle of the night, he always knew who it was going to be and that the night was going to end badly..........this night was no exception.

After leaving my house she drove over to his and starting ringing the bell, pounding on the door and screeching at the top of her lungs, Jim opened the door just quiet her down, the neighbors already had enough gossip to last a life time. She wanted to talk, she wanted Jim, she wanted to move back into the house as if nothing ever happened. He calmly told her it was over, there was no going back. That is not what she wanted to hear, she immediately turned to slamming me and blaming me for the break up of their marriage. (20 years later it's still her story and she's sticking to it, even though I didn't come into the picture until 10 months after SHE filed for divorce.....TWISTED! I tell ya!)

She started screaming that Melissa needed a Daddy and that he wasn't the father of "That sluts baby" (Just incase you didn't figure it out, she was referring to me as the slut and my infant daughter as the baby!lol) He said, "You should of thought about that before you wanted to have fun in the front seat with another man, then filed divorce and don't ever speak about Kim that way again!" (I told you he was honorable!lol) This is the part that he turned his back on her to enter his home and she jumped him........he peeled her off his back and tossed her into the evergreen (The visual today still makes me lol!) He quietly went back into the house.

A few minutes passed before she crawled out of the evergreen and while he watched her from the window, she went to the trunk of her car and retrieved her bowling ball and was trying to throw it through the 10 x 5 foot picture window all the while screaming like a lunatic! Jim was out the door again in a flash and took the bowling ball away from her and out it inside the front door of the house. He put her back in the front seat of her car and told her to leave or he was going to call the cops (yet again) While he was standing in between the opened door of the drivers side of the car she threw the car in reverse and dragged him down the driveway.......when he finally hit the pavement she tried to back up and run over him, he rolled out of the way and that was the last he saw her that night.

She went home and slit her wrists, this all came up in the custody hearing, because she worked for a hospital and she was living with her best friend whose Father was the head of Obstetrics and she worked in the ER herself, they did not file a police report. They are required to file a police report at every suicide attempt, they didn't. Her mistake was claiming it on the insurance he still carried on her until the divorce was final. He got the bill for "sutures on her wrist."

Now you tell me........was this for Melissa's sake?

 

I'm a telling you Wisteria Lane (Desperate Housewives) ain't got nothing on me! lol lol lol

2nd Wives Club (4)

The next 'incident' with the DH's 1st wife took place on a week night very early in the a.m. Apparently she was unaware that I had my own apartment inside the house I grew up in, so when she had a snoot full one night she came to the front door on my Mother's house ( Now mind you this woman my Mom, is the woman I get my feistiness from, she would never do anything to embarrass herself, but this woman can always handle her business! lol)

Jim and I had spent the day and evening together and he left my apartment around 11:00 a.m. Unaware to me around 12:30 a.m. my Moms front door rang, and even though she had never seen Jim's 1st wife she had no problem figuring out who the intoxicated woman standing at her front door was. The conversation went something like this.......

1st wife - "I'm looking for my Husband"
My Mom  - "Did you check his house because it's late and he's not here?"
1st Wife - "Errr, No I thought I would find him here"
My Mom - "Well he's not and let's get something very clear right now, whatever problems you might think you have with Jim, don't  bring them to my door ever again"

1st wife leaves without saying another word, we find out later she had no idea that she even came to my house, she was that intoxicated. Little did I know her night did not end there. Did she heed my Mother's advice about not coming to her door ever again.........nope! She was too drunk to know she even came to my house that night, but she was warned and whatever happens after that, was all on her!

After not finding Jim at my place she went looking for him, let's just say her night included a bowling ball, a picture window, a trip to the "bush club" well more like a landing in a 25 foot evergreen, she could of ended up in jail for attempted murder too! She did end up in the ER though.............completely her doing!

Don't touch that dial folks, we'll be right back after these few important messages! lol lol lol

2nd wives Club (3)

Ok, my first "Incident" with the 1st wife didn't happen until we were dating a few weeks. Well, I think we were beyond dating, we were inseperable from our very first date, it wasn't until years later that a day finally passed that we didn't see each other.

We had gone out for dinner then back to his house to relax and spend some "kid free" time. The night was half way through when the front door rang, since Jim wasn't expecting anyone, he looked out the front window first and saw her car at the end of the drive way. Up until this point he hadn't shared anything about how nasty things had become between the two of them, I didn't know about her violence toward the other women he had dated and I hadn't known about all the crazy things that happened and the police had to be called to remove her from the property, in hind sight he wishes he would of said something earlier about it to me. I wouldn't have had to sit, hidden in another room while she searched the kitchen cabinets looking for a teady bear cake pan that she just had to have for their daughters upcoming birthday.......the problem was it was only June and their daughters birthday wasn't until Novemeber. It was just a ruse to come into the house.

So here I was, sitting on the edge of the bed in the guest room, in the dark, listening to her go on and on about finding the cake pan, and Jim trying to help her and I could tell there was a change in his voice. The whole time my imagination is getting the best of me and the only reason I could come up with as to why I would of been hidden away was maybe he was trying to keep things open with his 1st wife, a way back in if he chose......well, at least that is what my "trust no one" mind was telling me. One more minute of this ridiculous behavior and I am outta there and come what may on what would of/could of happened! (Think of the movie Dirty Dancing) No one puts baby in the corner! lol lol lol

She finds the baking pan, tries to make idle conversation with him but he just talks her right out the front door. Now as I am fleeing the BS we run into each other in the hallway.......I am pissed, he is remorseful and things are about to explode between the two of us. I told him I will give you 1 minute to explain to me why I was treated like the mistress he didn't want discovered and then I was gone, I didn't need this kind of Bs in my life, I was a grown woman with an infant child of my own, Ihad a daughter and a wounded heart to protect.

In the end he told me about her behavior with the other 2 women he dated before dating me and the last thing he wanted was for her to chase me off, this was also the first time he told me that he loved me and that he didn't want to loose me and that what he did was for my own protection. He brought me up to speed on what dating him was going to be like until either she moved on or fell off the face of the earth. He hoped I cared about him enough to stick around, we had something special and he not only knew it he felt it too.... for years it was looking like it was going to go on until she fell off the face of the earth. Once she did find out about me life changed as I knew it. But little did she know that I came from fiesty stock myself! ;)

Round Robin Challenge.....Reflection

Hi, Robins!  Cheryl, a.k.a. BoiseLadie, of the blogs Welcome to My World and Life Through My Lens, has given us a topic that's both simple and profound: "Reflections!"

So, Robins, it's time to reflect on what kind of reflections are most meaningful for you, and how best to reflect them through your camera's lens. Take your photos, and get ready to post them on Wednesday, May 24th, any time between midnight and midnight. If you need to do so, you can post up to a week late, but please do not post early. It all works best if we all post on the same day, give or take a few hours. This makes it much easier for everyone to go blog-jogging, and see what everyone has done!

This is my entry into the challenge, It's a lake shot taken of some water flowers (probably weeds! lol) while my Son was standing opposite of me out on the pier doing a lil fishing in the early morning hours. You can see his reflection in the water upside down. I love everything about this photo! It has my boy, it has water, it has nature and it has shadow and light! To check out more please visit the Round Robin Journal and visit the links provided to other fabulous photo's!

http://roundrobinphoto.blogspot.com/

 

kmh 2005

2nd Wives Club (2)

Now, since I was a child of divorce myself I knew exactly what was the right thing to do for the innocent children involved and the wrong thing to do when innocent children are involved. As much as I loved Jim, Melissa was to be protected and loved at all costs........I married an honorable man, those were his intentions also. There was only one time where it wasn't his most shining moment and I will call him out on it later on in an entry about all of this.

Just a few facts before I get started - She wanted the divorce, she filed for it, she wanted to have 'fun' again, he finally agreed after finding her parked down the end of their block after a late night out with her girlfriends having 'fun' in the front seat of their car with someone who was not her husband or a girlfriend. She filed in June of 1985 and neither of them would move out........(think war of the roses) she finally vacated the home in November of 1985. The smartest thing they did at this time was let Melissa spend a lot of time at her grandparents home. I am sure she saw more and heard more than they ever thought she did.......kids are sponges they absorb everything around them....I know for a fact after many dicussions that it altered who she was to become.

And for those that are curious but their Momma's taught them better than that, so coming right out and asking the question "Was I the reason for the divorce?" The answer is no, although I knew them I did not know them well, I didn't even come into the picture until April of 1986 as a key player in all of this. Most women with any sense or lack of a stubborn streak would have kept right on going after the 1st incident, but I loved him and I was not going to let her get in the way of our happiness.

The marriage ended badly for PSYCHOLOGICAL reasons............she was psycho and he was logical..........(gotta love that! lol lol lol)

I'll try to remember every "incident" in the right order, but hey I'm human, I make mistakes. Isn't it funny how you might not remember every good thing that has happened to you in your life, but you can remember every bad thing with complete clarity!

So she (DH's 1st Wife) wants us to put everything behind us now, at least for the sake of Melissa and her upcoming wedding in Jamaica.........

Here is just a few things that happened before I even came into the picture.......

How about the time she saw Jim with another girlfriend (after separation, all will be after legal separation) waiting at a stop light while she was pumping gas on her way to work and without warning ran into the street, opened the passenger door and hauled this poor unsuspecting woman out into the street and pounced on her? Jim acted quickly in separating the two and with getting Kendall (woman he was seeing) back into the safety of the car before 1st wife could do anymore damage. Now you tell me, was that for Melissa's sake? There was another incident with another woman which ended badly with her (Donna, another woman Jim dated) getting kicked down the front steps by the 1st wife who had come by the house unexpectedly to announce to Jim that she wanted him back and that she was moving back home.......news to him! Cops were called yet again.....best interest of Melissa huh?

Tip of the iceberg people, tip of the iceberg! lol lol lol

40 Something

Just a few things I really didn't appreciate until my 40's....................

My family history, I could have really cared less on who I came from or where I came from but now I appreciate my family history. It's very cool to trace my "ROOTS" all the way back to Ireland and Whales. My Mom was able to trace our family immigration to the new country just before the time of the French and Indian War in America, which is only a few years later than the whole plymouth rock thingy! lol

Bob Segar and Lynard Skynard.......I didn't care for that style of Rock until now.......Music is the best way to time travel. Now when I here a certain song on the radio I am immediately be transported back in time. I think music is the one thing that I truly could not live without.

A slow hand............'nuff said! lol ;)

The fact that my babies aren't babies anymore.......Don't get me wrong I am sooooo looking forward to the time I can spend with my future grandbabies, but I am sooooo done with the baby stage right now. My baby will be 14 this month and I can't even look at a baby or a toddler right now without thinking, "Thank GOD that isn't one of mine!"

Soft Lighting.........'nuff said! lol ;)

Time spent alone...........doing nothing and enjoying it!

A motorcycle ride......Nothing better than the wind in your hair and the sun on your face while holding on to your one true love!

A beautful sunrise more so than a sunset, because that means I was lucky enough to live just one more day!

I'm sure I could come up with at least a hundred more, but these would have at least been on the top of my list right now!

Life is good and I am thankful!

A lil whine with my morning....

OK, Hamster has been located and taken back into custody and after a night out of the habitrail I am sure he must be happy to see that exercise wheel and a fresh bottle of water! lol The hand held vacuum has captured the 'trail' that was left 'behind' (pun intended of course) and all is well in Utopia.......

Speaking of Utopia.........

I want to share the life and travels with a kinda new blogger to me........she is living the life I want to be living in say another 10 years or so......empty nester and vagabond!!! I am so jealous of this woman's life right now I could just spit......but Momma always said it was impolite for a lady to spit! "Lady" now there is a term I have a hard time relating too! lol I blame it all on my Irish heritage....Now my Mother is and has always been a lady, me on the other hand doesn't take any offense to the term 'Broad' lol lol lol I can be very lady like when the occasion calls for me to be, but I can hang with the best of them in almost any circle or any situation......ok, back to Utopia!

Right now Utopia for me is in the Burbs of Chicago.....nothing but subdivision after subdivision, grant it it rivals the neighborhood of "Desperate Housewives" but there is nothing of Mother Natures' true beauties to see with the naked eye. I have access to some grand old farms within a car ride, but no mountains, no vistas, no oceans............no NOTHING! (insert sniffle, then a whine here)

I have the Great Lakes when I need my beach addiction, I have a beautiful Chicago skyline brought to you by "Man Made" but other than that it's just plain ole............FLAT out here. Southern Illinois is much more green and 'hilly' for lack of a better word, but the only time I go south is on the way to the In-Laws and that doesn't generate a 'warm fuzzy feeling' except when I get alone time with the SIL'S down in Kentucky.......LOVE those girlzzzzz!

I was blessed for the few years that I did get to move around and take in as much scenery as one could....Born in Boston, 2 years spent in England, time lived in Texas, Florida and New York (upstate) Catskill Mountains..........(insert sigh) and then back to Chicago. (home of my Father's Family) Where I met, fell head over heels with and married a Chicago boy who will never live anywhere else but here or Wisconsin! But with true love one does have to make sacrifices don't they??? lol lol lol In the meantime I will live vicariously through the windshield of the motor home of Adlessor!

So without further adieu please stop by her blog for some really great scenery and remember to add her to your alerts if you want to see why America the beautiful, is a song that the author knew what they were singing about!

A Couple of Nomads  <~~~~ Linky Linky ;)