When I was a kid and I got sick my Mom would take me to see the family Doctor who would always tell me to stick out my tongue and say "ahhhh" check for swollen glands in my neck, take my temperature and then send me home with a lollipop and a prescription for an antibiotic......all better 10 days later!
So this being sick and not being able to just "get better" in 10 days is hard for me to cope with, Why can't I just take a pill twice a day for 10 days and be all better now? I thought my childhood Doctor could cure me of everything.......the scared little girl, that still lives hidden deep inside of me wishes Dr. Pelic was still alive, still believes he could of made me all better.
Fast forward 40 something years and I can't seem to catch a break with any of the meds I have been on......1st round 8 weeks of AC & T
ACT Chemotherapy - Adriamcin Cytoxan Taxol Now I just read an article that Taxol does Nothing for ER/PR positive Breast Cancer......great! Then my 2nd round of new chemo was Xeloda... XELODA: The first FDA-approved oral chemotherapy for metastatic Breast and Colorectal Cancer Easy to take pill form, taken at home but the longer I was on it the sicker and more weak I became where I lost all my strength due to the fact I was either too sick to eat or sleeping my life away. Then we tried another chemo cocktail of Gemzar and Carboplatin Gemzar.com for Patients and Caregivers – Information About Treatment withGEMZAR for Non-Small Cell Lung Cancer, Pancreatic C.. and CARBOPLATIN - INJECTION (Paraplatin) side effects, medical uses, and drug interactions. again I did nothing but sleep, couldn't eat if I wanted too, and even though my tumor markers went down the tumors in my liver and in my lung grew so on to my 4th chemo drug Navelbine Navelbine and Navelbine Side Effects - Chemotherapy Drugs And this one is the worse yet, I'm still getting sick to my stomach almost 2 weeks after my treatment, not eating will soon make me weak again and unable to get around on my own.
I see Dr. Serious on Tuesday.We already tried the full dose (puke) we tried the half dose (much milder but is it still effective?) I'm going to see about a 2/3rd dose or trying something completely different, I can't spend my life looking into the bottom of my toilet bowl! I can't even keep down the Zofran (anti sickness medicine ) most times.
How much my world has changed. If I didn't take this cancer one day at a time I think I would of given up a long time ago. I'm tired but most of all I am sick of being sick. Now lets break it down......I find my lump early enough stage 2B breast cancer, I have the breast removed, I have a tram flap reconstruction, I do my 8 weeks of AC & T, I start my hormone therapy of tomaxifen, I get the all clear even without any further testing and 3 months later I'm told I now have cancer in my lungs,my liver, my brain and my spine....now it's called stage IV breast cancer..no longer curable only treatable and I will be a cancer patient the rest of my life.....after reading all the above kinda makesya wonder if you want to be a cancer patient the rest of your life. Chronically ill people are a tough breed, we dig deep inside for what is worth fighting for and we fight for it and only sometimes do we let our mind wander to the otherside.
Tomorrow's a new day! I'll be around to see it!