Monday, January 15, 2007

Abandoned shoes and blogs....

This blog/journal started out as a way for me to get back in touch with things that were important to me, when I was teenager filled with angst which I later figured out was pent up hostilities and rage from a sometimes wonderful childhood and a sometimes not so wonderful childhood...I used to write all the time. Mostly about love and the current relationship that I was in at the time. To the people that I would occasionally share some of my writing with, told me to continue writing, that I was good at getting "feelings" onto paper.

I stopped writing when the first child came along...no further explanation needed to those that know how all consuming children can be and deserve to be.....what I didn't realize was how much of me I was giving up or how estranged from me I would become. Small price to pay for the joy of parenthood....I didn't even realize how much I  missed writing until I started it up again with this blog. I started out first testing the waters with glimpses into my past, then into figuring out my past and how it effected me and made me who I was becoming....we all bring so much of our past into who we are today...good or bad it's there.....this blog became very therapeutic for me and let me go deeper than I was willing to when I was seeing a therapist....at the keyboard there are no eyes sizing you up and down, there is no glancing at the clock to see if "your time is up" you can write until you feel better which is what I do.

This blog also touched on my home life, the lives of my children and has basically also served as one long love letter to my Husband Jim. I have shared my poetry, my view of my world behind my camera lens and shared almost every detail of my experience of going from a breast cancer patient to a breast cancer survivor....although I feel 'stuck' in between the two right now.

Over the weekend I was perusing the blogs looking for new or new to me blogs and sometimes I just click on other peoples lists of other peoples journals if I like what I have read in theirs......birds of a feather kind of theory.......I came across so many abandoned journals with their last entry date and time posted then it's as if "poof" that life either stopped becoming so interesting that the owner just fled or their life became so busy that time was the issue at hand..either way they left their mark in J-Land then just packed up and left without any explanations....I for one can't see myself giving this blog up any time soon....the need to purge my thoughts to words is still there. while jumping from abandoned blog to abandoned blog I felt the same way I feel about a lone shoe one sometimes see discarded on the side of the road, I wonder about the owner, I wonder about the other shoe.....I feel it's loneliness (strange I know! lol) I feel bad for the abandoned blog..with its past just sitting out there for all the world to see but nothing of its present time, of its hopes for the future.

I guess I'm just feeling melancholy....I'm working through something that I can't explain right now, but you can bet when I do....it will be right here in my blog as another chapter in the book of me.

22 comments:

mzgoochi said...

and your readers will be right here, waiting for when you are ready Kim. Love you and I hope whatever it is, it works itself out for the best. Hope you're having a good day.

God Bless!

Lahoma

lindaggeorge said...

I feel my Blog has almost taken me over, there are times I think I don't have the time for it but it won't let me give up.

I'm glad you mentioned the lonely shoe in the road. I did wonder if that was just a British thing. I'm so pleased to hear you get them too. What I want to know is why? Do people travelling in their cars suddenly think "I'm sick of this shoe, I will throw it out the window". Is that what happens, I just can't imagine the scenario when you just lose a shoe and don't notice. This is something that has worried me for decades!

Linda x.

http://journals.aol.co.uk/lindaggeorge/chicken-run-the-great-escape/



stevietwain said...


Hiya,

I feel exactly the same when I see things abandoned, be it a shoe OR a blog on here. It's so very sad when you read the last entry, and as you say, they just vanish for some reason.

Great entry. You explained everything so well, I can feel what you mean!

Whatever it is, I really hope it sorts out and doesn't make you sad. If you need a chat, feel free to drop me an email anytime!

Love Stevie
xxx

mosie1944 said...

I always wonder, too.

onestrangecat said...

I wonder about abandon journals.  I wonder about the ones that are abrutly deleted (as one recently has).  It's weird.
I think sometimes I would just stop posting, but then I feel like I need to say something.  I don't think I could just leave with out posting a goodbye .
I hope you and your journal are here for a long time.

Kathy

wipforever said...

Guilty as charged.  I confess.  I'm still trying to get into the swing of things with my path to my new life and adjusting to my new environment.  Slowly, but surely, I'll be blogging more regularly.  I just need to find a good time to fit it in.

I hope you are okay and I think about you often, especially since I'm in closer proximity to you now.  I read your journal but have been bad about commenting.  I hope you will forgive me.  I'm certainly glad that you aren't leaving J-Land for good though.  I would hate for you to be one of those who abandon ship.

By the way, I do want to say about one other entry here - that was a gutsy photo to bare the baldness and I deeply admire you for putting it out there!!!  BALD IS BEAUTIFUL and you're living proof!

Hugs and blessings,
Sheila

imshadowraven2 said...

And u can bet sweet friend i will be here reading and sharing with you......Robin

chat2missie said...

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gandsbrock said...

LOL!  I'm on the verge of abandoning a journal, one that I can seem to even start.  I'm trying to start one on myspace to join some weight loss buddies, but the place is just slow and too difficult to figure out how to make it pretty.  Poor pitiful blog.

I always wonder about abandoned blogs and their owners too.

tendernoggle said...

I know what you mean...there are a few that I wonder if they are ok...if they are well....and yes, I admit it. I even wonder where the other dang shoe went and why it's owner felt the need to leave the one on the road !!!lol
love ya friend,
carlene

siennastarr said...

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lindapaterson177 said...

Hi Kim, I finished my public blog due to the stress my sis was giving as she was reading way too much into things! and I felt very sad because of it, but I started a private one that she is unable to access that I`m more that happy to share with anyone who wishes to read it. I love writing and no one should stop you writing whatever your heart desires. Keep up the good work and take care.
luv bella xx

ukgal36 said...

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chevyz71gurl74 said...

I've thought about giving up my journal a time or two...but i just can't bring myself to do it...lol  Jland is like a second family to me...if i did ever stop journaling I would say my goodbyes...I could never just up and leave....it's sad.  Hope your feeling good.... =)
Hugs,
Terri

rainy35 said...

What a beautiful entry Kim!  I always wonder about the people who have abandoned their blogs.  It's sad really.  I have tried to leave J-land before and I just couldn't do it.
Hugs,
Dana
http://journals.aol.com/rainy35/RoadToSuccess
http://journals.aol.com/rainy35/bamas-country-photos

jmorancoyle said...

    There are a lot of blogs I miss. On the other hand, there are new ones to take their places. I really have to update my blog listing on the side of my journal.
Jude
http://journals.aol.com/jmorancoyle/MyWay

cneinhorn said...

i;ve noticed this too......different chapters in our lives maybe times we feel compelled to write, others we don't.....everything changes  

am4039 said...

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stupidsheetguy said...

I want you to keep this blog for 1000 more years, if I may be so bold. I think there's a lot you haven't said, and I for one am looking forward to more from your journal.

I'm sure this blog has done well for you, served a lot of purpose during your struggle. I think it's a great outlet for people, and the support that you've received had to be a gift.

For me, this journal has proven to me that there really are brave, wonderful people just like you'd see in a movie...they really do exist, and if anyone doubts that, I'll just point 'em here.

Thanks for everything,

Jimmy

ekgillen said...

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helmswondermom said...

That sounds so much like me!  I pretty much stopped writing (which I'd done non-stop most of my life up to then) when I married.  I don't really know why.  By the time I wanted to start again I was a mom and way too busy (or so I thought).  I love my journal; it has given me the freedom to write what and when I want and to interact with other "writers".  Keep writing.  You do a lot of us a lot of good.
Lori
http://journals.aol.com/helmswondermom/DustyPages

knowwriter said...

I was always better at communicating through writing then with speaking. I can always edit to make sure things make sense. The gaps in my journal is when I get too busy to sit down and write. Thus forgeting who I am.