Almost There......

  Going on this cruise will be the first time I am spending my birthday without my husband and children in 18 years. It's a celebration for me, for surviving myself and my younger years and not self-destructing like my Father before me. The men on my Father's side are split down the middle between Saints and Sinners. My father lived a hard fast life and it cost him his life at 41, I am the last of his children to out live him, His goal was to outlive he Father and he did, his Father died at 31 leaving 7 young children behind, so I think my Father probably breathed a sigh of relief when his 32 year came around, just like I will be doing in my 42 birthday in a few days.  

Some times life goes in cycles without even anyone noticing, but I tend to take notice of these. My grandmother (Father's Mother) said I am the most like him out of all his children, I have all of his good traits and left a lot of his bad traits behind in my youth. My brother wasn't sure of living longer then "the old man" as my brother refers to my Father, but dying at 41 is no where near an old man. I was 16 at the time of his death and 41 did seem ancient to me, but funny how now that I am 41, I don't think of it as ancient anymore. I DO feel the years though, I no longer feel the need to party till the sun comes up and a quiet night at home sounds like time well spent now.  

I now watch my older 2 children go through the rigors of young adulthood with hardly any sleep and no desire to spend quality time at home with their family (tongue in cheek on that one) and I don't feel any jealousy about their youth and energy. I often think of people who go through mid life crisis is to tie up some loose ends on things they wish they had the opportunity to do when they were younger, I don't think I'll ever have a mid life crisis......I got everything out in my youth and I'm lucky to have survived most of it with only a few regrets and a few bad decisions... I made peace with myself a long time ago.

  I feel your 40's is a time to really celebrate life.......I am wiser, more conscious of others and their life experiences and I appreciate what they are willing to share with me, I am in good health, I have a loving family and I am financially stable, what's not to celebrate? I no longer repeat mistakes of my youth, I know WHO I am and I no longer second guess myself...I will also be leaving my fear of being 41 and wondering and waiting for my demise in the past.......hoping to have at least 41 more years of participating in life and taking nothing for grant it.

Winter's Rose

 

"The Rose"  

Some say love it is a river
that drowns the tender reed
Some say love it is a razor
that leaves your soul to bleed

Some say love it is a hunger
an endless aching need
I say love it is a flower
and you it's only seed

It's the heart afraid of breaking
that never learns to dance
It's the dream afraid of waking
that never takes the chance
It's the one who won't be taken
who cannot seem to give
and the soul afraid of dying
that never learns to live

When the night has been too lonely
and the road has been too long
and you think that love is only
for the lucky and the strong
Just remember in the winter
far beneath the bitter snows
lies the seed that with the sun's love
in the spring becomes the rose

Abandoned Farm House

This old farm house was abandoned as well as the farm.......windows were broken, memories left scattered through the house as if the family just vanished....most old farms in my area are vanishing making was for what they call progress........new subdivisions....that makes me as sad as this old farm house

Book Creek

 

Book Creek......long ago watering hole for the once prospering dairy farm

Ole Gray Barn

 

Book Farm

 

 

America's Front Porch

 

A tribute to Americana at it's best.............American Farms

America's Front Porch
Photo's in series

Say What????

  Yesterday was such a quiet, peaceful day around here, I thought at first maybe it was because the kids were back at school after a 3 day weekend, but it wasn't until last night when my cell phone rang and my 18 year old was screeeeeching about how come I haven't been answering the house phone all evening? I said, "Cuz it wasn't ringing?" she said, " Yes it has,I have been trying to reach you for the last three hours!!!" I said, "Not it hasn't" she said,"Yes it has!"...... Yes-No-Yes-No (This went on for about another minute, sometimes I just like to mess with them by having a conversation with them in the 'style' they use when trying to avoid a conversation with me, you know answers that don't really sound like answers and such.....I know....... I'm bad but it's nice to see them get frustrated once in awhile!!!) lol lol lol the whole time thinking why didn't she just call me on my cell phone after she couldn't reach me at the home number??? drama drama drama......Aurghhhhh!  

So I pick the phone up off the receiver and low and behold the line was dead.....no dial tone.....so I call the house from my cell and the house phone didn't ring, even though the call was going through as dialed by my cell phone, but the call went into the voice mail system............Hmmmmmm better call the phone company...no wonder why the house was quiet! No annoying phone ringing off the hook for the kids!!!!! I call the phone company, notify them it's not working, they notify me it's a 24 hour wait for service possibly.....I don't care the phone is never for me anyway right??  

Mid morning today.... still no service........Ahhhhhh! I could get use to this kinda quiet......Phone rings.......Drats!!! I let the recorder pick it up....(Yes! Not only do we have voice mail but the old fashioned answering machine too....God forbid we don't get a message around here......funny things is I am the only one who doesn't get the message on one of those rare occasions when the phone rings and it's actually for me.) So after the recorder stops I pick up the phone and again....no service.........hmmmmmm this is strange.......doorbell rings, Telephone man/boy is standing at my door....... "Hi Mam, blah blah blah from blah blah blah company, I just wanted to inform you your service is working again" I say,"No it's not" he says "Yes it is" I say, "nope! nope! nope!" and he says, "Yes it is Mam I fixed it" I say as I am handing him the cordless phone,"You hear a dial tone?" he says"Oh... it's not, we'll get it working for you right away Mam" I say, "Told ya sooooo!" thinking all the while this conversation is just like the kind I have with my kids but then again he was probably young enough to be my kid! lol   Few hours later.........phone rings.....it's not for me.....leave a message...........quiet time is over..............sighhhhhhhh