Monday, November 19, 2007

Happy Birthday Melissa!

I have chemo again tomorrow, (3 weeks on 1 week off) I have a feeling they will be changing the chemo again, I'm starting to get those little blue bruises again, like when was running low of potassium. Being tired is the weirdest feeling in the world! I can sleep 24 hours straight and still feel like I just missed the missed the bed! lol When I first found out I had breast cancer, I thought ok, I'll have  it for a little while then when I am done, I done with it. You're aren't even sure how you feel about the cancer, they told me I would have 8 weeks of chemotherapy and 2 years of physical hormone replacement, I STILL don't know what exactly went wrong where but something sure didn't work out in my best interest......there are days I loaf of bread confuses me! lol

We all have our childhood issues and with my Brother he was always told he was never going amount to anything, he was no good..so My Father told him like his Father before him...My Brother's intelligence would be questioned,my Sisters's weight would always get asked even though she really wasn't overweight and you could never get away with calling me stupid! Well........I get pretty stupid now, Like a said a loaf of bread confuses me and I wish to God it was a joke! Who knew Chemo was so life altering huh?? lol

One of my buddies is in the mattress business and I am so impatient instead of waiting a few extra days I ran out and bought one by myself......instead of waiting for Jim....a queen didn't even fit in the back of suburban...I called my Brother and he saved me...(pick-up truck)....sorry BOB! Thought it was going to be a quick hop, skip and a jump and I'm in my new bed! lol Now I'm looking for a small student desk for Lil Jimmy's old room..... I have my lap top now and I am slowly getting used to it........just to keep all my paperwork on.

I never was a great house cleaner but I do want to at least look like I am putting the house in some kind of order.....don't worry I'm not going anywhere,,,,, Bob owes me lunch...they just refinished remodeling the restaurant so don't worry Bob there is still a chance you'll get to buy me lunch! lol lol lol

So what did I learn this weekend? Queen beds don't fit in suburban's, you can still call your brother to move a mattress, Bob still wants Mongolian BBQ and a lap top is not any faster than a PC!

To my friends and family that are giving me my space right now I really appreciate it, I'm not sure where my body is going with this cancer thing but it's definitely working it's way through the rest of me, I don't know how much chemo I am going to end up having, I never know how much illness I am going to have with it either, I just know it sure sucks right now to be me!

478 comments:

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heavenlybama said...

Kim.....I think of you often and really miss you and your entries.  I'm still reading thru your journal.  You make me laugh many times.  I so miss that.  Love ya girlfriend!

rdautumnsage said...

h

cvgflydis said...

Just stopping by today, to visit. I know, YOU know, how much you are missed here.
Angel

mumma4evr said...

had to stop in to see you...made my appointment for my mammo...thankfully , I feel no masses tis time....Thanks for helping to hold me up last year....what am I going to do this year while I wait?

becky

noodoors said...

To Comment 404......
I'll wait with you...We all will.....
and you know the saying "put your thinking cap on" ?
Well....get your WARRIOR cap on girlfriend!
And keep us posted......
xoxo
(kim's cousin)

heavenlybama said...

(((Kim))).....I heard the song today that reminded me of you.  I love to sing it when I hear it.  I can usually keep it together but I broke & just cried.  I went thru so much today and miss your words of encouragement, wisdom, and postitive emails.  Rest high on that mountain Kim.  You are so so missed!!!
Hugs,
D

ukgal36 said...

h

gilpinfamily1 said...

Thinking of you more and more everyday. I am honored to be your cousin. When I step out onto the Pitchers Mound on 4/13 to throw the first pitch it will be you and mom in my heart. This ones for you ladies!
All my love,
xoxoxox
Aileen
(Kim's cousin)

pharmolo said...

An astonishing 400+ comments, Kim, you have been such an example to so many in your struggle with cancer. And continue to be so, even now that the struggle is over. Your sister is doing a marvellous job, you would be proud of her. Rest in peace, I am so happy that your pain is over.

kirkbyj05 said...

I wish I didn't get this big lump in my throat when I think of you, or whenever someone talks of you and  brings you into mind again.
I miss you very much my 'Beautiful Irish Eyes'.
Rest In Peace brave friend.
Love
Jeanie xxxx

noodoors said...

Hey You...
I'm missing you today! I miss you everyday but today hurts! I'm mad as hell that you aren't here, yet stupid people are! I knew you would find that funny. I know you are with those who need you. And I thank you for that.
I just want to hear your laughter one more time. Oh, how I wish......
xoxo

brendaspears97 said...

Hey Kim

Coming by to sit a spell. Your often in my thoughts, I can't seem to write in my own journal anymore. It just does not hold any spark for me. I think I've move on, but moving on from You, well that's just impossible. I miss you, you left in the winter and now spring is here....it's just not the same without you.

Love Brenda

rdautumnsage said...

h

heavenlybama said...

Our dear Pink Warrior Kim......I miss you and your writing.  No matter what was going on with my own health problems.......coming here made me grateful.  This past week......has been one of those weeks where I don't feel like I can go on.  I come here and re-read some of your entries and they give me hope!  Thank you for sharing yourself and your life.  I am really missing you!
Love & hugs,
D

kellygib1@hotmail.com said...

thinking of you....having a few more bad days....I miss you and wish you were here......really need to talk to you.....I'm sorry.....
I love you....
Kelly~

therealstephhull said...

I just had to stop by again. You touched more lives than you will ever know Kim. I miss you so much.

blazensun said...

Out PINK WARRIOR thinking of you today. I miss coming to your journal and reading the words you write here. Miss you my friend. RIP.

Hugs Sunny

eternallife23 said...

Thought of you today! You left your mark on my heart forever!

kellygib1@hotmail.com said...

to my dear sister, 4 months today....seems like an eternity...
think of you often...miss you more you demandnlilchit.....
Kelly~

stetsonsfyre said...

I miss you ~ Teresa

heavenlybama said...

Kim......I've been thinking of you today.  Miss you and your entries.
Love,
D

gilpinfamily1 said...

Hey there girly! We'll all be together this weekend for you and I know that you will be right there along side of us. Kelly and the kids will be there too. Love you tons and miss you every day.
Love,
Aileen

heavenlybama said...

Missing you today!
Love and hugs,
D

noodoors said...

Hey You....
It's just me. Missing your laughter more than ever these past few days. Needing your raw sense of humor to pull me out of the darkness of reality. My belief in "everything happens for a reason" currently finds me looking for a reason!

I love you more....

mutualaide said...

Was just thinking of you and thougth I'd stop by ... miss you and your laughter and your inspiration.  

kellygib1@hotmail.com said...

5 months today... missed you at the "lake" this weekend...not a day goes by that you are not on my mind... love you and miss you....I am sorry for the tears... didn't think I would have such a hard time...
miss you my dear sister....
Kelly~

totallymentalben said...

Kim continues to inspire so many...an amazing legacy - and a fitting one - for an amazing person.

Ben

gilpinfamily1 said...

Another 39 miles walked in your honor to help find a cure. I wish a few blisters could bring you back to us. Love you and miss you cuz. Love always, Aileen

rdautumnsage said...

h

mar67 said...

HEY U~ to have you click my nextel just once and hear you say 'hey you', could bring a feeling that i thought could never be felt again.  Kim, bring peace to us all & let us know that your hand is still in our daily struggles.  sometimes i feel you so close, i hear your answers to my questions in your voice.  you are still so needed and so missed every day~love u & think of u daily~
mar

ashleekr said...

Just thinking of you....... You are so missed.....
Ash

heavenlybama said...

Hi Kim.....I've been reading Kelly's journal.  You are blessed to have a loving sister like Kelly.  Kelly wrote a beautiful tribute to you.  I sure miss you alot.  You sure have made your mark in my heart.  I keep coming back here.  I will never forget you my friend.........
Love and hugs,
Dana
http://journals.aol.com/heavenlybama/journey-to-success  

mutualaide said...

Missing you still ... and always ...

littlee3@bellsouth.net said...

It looks like I am not the only one that still seems to come here to your journal on a daily basis.  I sometimes forget that there will not be a new entry.  You made a lasting mark on so many people.  You will forever be in our hearts.
Cindy

loves2fishnboat said...

Kim it's been awhile but I came back today.  Missing your always so positive humor a lot.  Loves2

kellygib1@hotmail.com said...

thought alot of you, yesterday... missing you so much some days... Love you...miss you... wish you were still here....
Kelly~

beadlee2 said...

Rest in peace Kim, you will always be in my heart, as you will be for MANY others!~

buggieboo1 said...

I thought of you today!

Sharon

kellygib1@hotmail.com said...

miss you my sister...remembering you in my heart....
Kelly~

mar67 said...

hey you~sitting here while the nite is silent, i so clearly hear your laughter!  I miss you so much my lil friend,

be blessed & keep shining down on us all.....

cvgflydis said...

Hi Kim~

You just crossed my mind and I wanted to stop by your "place".......Miss the antics~

Angel

gosso23 said...

I think about you all the time. Miss you.

heavenlybama said...

How is heaven?  I thought I'd drop in.  I've been thinking about you.
Hugs,
Dana

trishaham said...

Kim, you are still in my thought's and your family is in my prayers.
Tia

kellygib1@hotmail.com said...

missing you... wishing you were still here. Still the days sometimes just drag on... still waiting to hear the phone ring... hearing you say "whatcha doin? " Love ya...
your sis!!!

ajquinn354 said...

Kim you're in Gods special care now, but all of us who read your journal site miss you and you'll forever hold a special place in our hearts.  You'd be so proud of your Sis Kelly, she's journaling now and touches all of us with her words. She misses you so much Kim.....all your readers care about your Sis and we're there for her.  Hope your and my Sis Elaine met, knowing the two of you, you'll have all the other angels in heaven laughing all the time.  Arlene (AJ)

fisherkristina said...

Just wanted to say hi, and that of course jland still loves you.

Krissy

kellygib1@hotmail.com said...

today is a good day and I am blessed... miss those words... only wish I could hear you say them one more time...
Love you...

lionesscarol1 said...

You are always in my heart.  You are such a special angel and when I close my eyes I can feel your angelic spirit around me.  I know when I pray that you can here me.  The love you have spread to so many of us grows and grows with each passing day.  

noodoors said...

Hey You...
You are a GRAMMA !!!! But hey, you knew that before the rest of us, didn't you??
Congratulations to Kim's first grandchild!!!!
Missing you still......

heavenlybama said...

I'm thinking of you Kim.
Love and hugs,
Dana

buggieboo1 said...

Been thinking of you Kim....

sunnybethe said...

Yours was the first journal I ever read.  I don't want it to be the last. I am truly sad that your words & those of others that have passed on will be lost when AOL closes journals forever.  When I began mine it opened my 1st year of friendships in JLand.  I don't know why but when I was looking at the "BLOG" page your jouranl popped up as "RECENTLY UPDATED" .  Blessings***

mishyluf1 said...

Kim~

You have a beautiful Grandson! Melissa and Tony did a great job! I've only seen pictures but he is an absolute Gem! There is a picture of Jim (Grandpa) and AJ and there is one person missing from that picture and that one person is you my dear! Oh Kim, I miss you so much I cannot even put it into words. I know you are watching from above and have got to be so proud. Here's to you, Grandma!! I love you always.

Michelle
xoxo

ldybutterfly1128 said...

Oh Kim,  I just miss you and I miss reading your blog.  I have been thinking about you a lot lately...wishing you were here to give me advice on what to do in my situation...wishing I could just chat with you again.  You've been gone a short while, but you definitely left your imprint on the world.  We miss you so much that we are all still chatting with you here on your blog! LOL

Blessings to you, my friend.  See you again someday.

Jamie

brendaspears97 said...

Hi Kim

Well hun they are closing down the journals. So I won't be able to read your words anymore. I just wanted to say that I miss you and I hope that you and my dad are having fun in heaven.

Love Brenda...

buggieboo1 said...


They are closing down the journals. So I won't be able to read your words anymore  :( . I just wanted to say that I miss you and think of you often!

Sharon

heavenlybama said...

I'm bummed.  They are closing the journals in 3 days.  I don't know if anyone has copied your journal.  I never did get to read all of it.  I miss you and think of you often.
Love and hugs,
Dana

sdoscher458 said...

I had to stop in and say goodbye my friend, my thoughts this past year have wandered to you and Lahoma. It's hard to believe that we are approaching a full year without both of your laughter and smiles. I know in my heart that you both are in a happier place, I am so happy that I got to know you two even for such a brief moment in time..love you....Sandi

dragondrops said...

so sad, we miss you - your brave words have held us all at one time or another, I'm sure you are happy in heaven, but know that we miss you Kim,   you and your journal will never be forgotten xx

kelly said...

As the one year anniversary of your passing nears... know in my heart still missing you my dear...Still so hard to believe that you're are still not here.. Christmas nor anyday will never be the same.. not without your smile,laughter and just you're being... Your grandbaby Anthony is adorable,and a blessing...well you know that already... we know on Christmas Eve... he will bring a smile to our face... you are missed...but always your memory will live on forever... Love you and miss you more...sis...
Kelly~

Talip Korkmaz said...

hope you are fine today..Waitin your new posts.Im praying god for you.

kelly said...

It's just me.. thought I would come by and read some of the comments. I still have a hard time knowing that you are gone.. I miss talking to you.. funny how when something happens you are still the first one I want to call.. your kids are doing ok.. I worry about Jimmy more than the girls.. Jim has moved on.. I still have issues with that..lol.. but he seems happy.. and I know that is what you wanted. I have so much to tell you.. so many things have happened since you've left.. but i'm sure you know... I miss you my sister with all my heart.. there will always be a void in my life.. I love you and wish you were still here~ you demandnlilchit...
still missing you..Kelly~

4lovedones said...

Online Obituary :: Add a condolences and express your regret!

http://www.4lovedones.com

Jeanie said...

I have just come back to let you know that I think of you often Kim. I know you are no longer with us but you are still in my heart.
Your family too.
To my lovely Irish Eyes.
My prayers and thoughts are with you.
Love
Jeanie xxx

ADB said...

Just passing by all that have gone before this evening. It's been more than two years, Kim. You're not forgotten, you were a fantastic example.

Jeanie said...

I was thinking of you Kim, 'My Beautiful Irish Eyes'. So I thought I would call by to honour your lovely memory.
You were a 'Special Lady' who loved her family to the hilt and beyond.
I will never forget you.
God bless you and your family.
Jeanie xxxx

Rjet33 said...

You may be gone from earth, but you are most certainly not forgotten for you live on in our hearts always.

Miss you, Kim, but I know I will see you again one sweet day.

Susan

ADB said...

The third milepost has been passed, Kim, and you continue to be a beacon of hope for all women who share your predicament. I'm glad you're now out of pain. You won't be forgotten.

Linda George said...

Just wrote an entry, first in a very long time and having a look at some of our old friends. It made me want to pop in and have a chat with you. I still don't get how, with your bravery, that you didn't win through. I think I may have stopped being angry but then again, maybe I haven't. You're loved and missed. xx

ADB said...

Approaching the 4th milestone, Kim, but time no longer matters in the place that you're at now. No more pain or suffering. You are remembered with love and admiration by all of us, in J-land and beyond.

David Haas said...

Hello,
I have a question about your blog. Please email me!
Thanks,
David

T said...

I miss you.
tina
steel mags and hairspray

ADB said...

You are remembered this Christmas, Kim, and will be remembered all days. Pleased you're beyond suffering now.

Shauneen said...

Remembering you demandinlilchit! :D With smiles and laughter hiding the tears- just as you would have wanted- still an honour to read through your posts. Thoughts are with your family who must miss your presence so very much Love always, Shauneen

Jeanie said...

Dear Kim
Remembering your humour and laughter as well as your love for your family and friends.
You continually pass my way in my thoughts. Thanks for the visit. God bless..x

Jeanie said...

Remembering you with a smile Kim. You know that you often pop in and out of my thoughts. My fervent prayers for you in heaven dear friend. Happiness and good wishes for your lovely family too at this time of year. I know you will be there guiding happiness their way. God bless you and them. xx

ADB said...

It's been nearly 9 years, Kim, but we will never forget you. Your suffering is over, rest in peace.

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